Emma leaned back against the buggy seat as Eli drove them home from supper at Hannah’s house.
“Long day.”
She looked over and watched Eli hold the reins easily in one hand. “I’ll say. Danki for coming to the hospital. I know it wasn’t easy facing my mudder.”
“It had to be harder for you.”
“I thought it would be,” she said thoughtfully as she looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “But she was so upset. And I wonder if she was a little afraid of calling a friend. She hasn’t had a lot of time outside of home to really make them. My bruders and schweschders keep her busy and my dat is…well, hardly welcoming.”
“The women of the church would have come,” he told her. “They will come to help her with whatever she needs when they hear what’s happened to your dat. I imagine Mary will start making calls first thing in the morning.”
Emma looked at the tote bag sitting on the seat between them. “It was kind of her to send home leftovers from supper.”
“You don’t eat enough to feed a bird. You’ve lost weight.”
She shrugged. “New mudders do sometimes. A boppli keeps us busy.”
When he said nothing for several long minutes she glanced over and saw him frown. “What?”
He shook his head. “It’s nothing.”
“If it’s really nothing then tell me.”
“John likes Gideon more than me.”
It sounded so silly. Kind of like when you told your bruder or schweschder, “Mamm likes you best.” She almost laughed. But she could see it really bothered him.
“Why do you say that?”
“Didn’t you see him shy away from me when Hannah walked past me?”
“That doesn’t mean he likes Gideon more. Sometimes bopplin have moods and they aren’t exactly friendly. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“This wasn’t the first time I felt he didn’t want to be with me.”
“I know. But he doesn’t know you as well as Gideon. Give him time.”
They passed her house and she stared at the darkened windows. She hoped that meant that her mudder had gone to bed and was sleeping. The tears began again.
“Emma?”
She shook her head and turned away from him. “I shouldn’t have come back. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t come back.”
“We talked about this earlier, Emma. You can’t blame yourself.”
She used her hands to wipe away her tears. “I’m just so tired.” She stared out the window.
“Try to go to bed when you get to the motel.”
She glanced into the back seat. “I intend to. But that’ll depend on John,” she said ruefully.
“He’s not sleeping through the night?”
“He usually does but with him sleeping right now…I don’t know if he’ll cooperate with me wanting to go to bed early.”
“I wish there was something I could do.”
She turned back to look at him. “You did. I appreciated you coming to the hospital today.”
He surprised her when he reached for her hand and kissed it. “I intend on being there for you from now on, Emma.” He pulled to the right and let a car pass the buggy. “Do you need anything? Diapers for John? Anything? I can run in a store while you wait in the buggy.”
“Nee, danki, we’re fine.”
He pulled into the motel parking lot and stopped. Almost immediately she heard John stir in his seat in the back.
“Hey, John, we’re home,” Emma told him as she got out then unbuckled his seat. “Home sweet home.”
Eli followed her with the stroller filled with her purse, diaper bag, and the tote filled with supper leftovers and pushed it inside the room.
“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he told her as he leaned down to kiss her.
John pushed his hands against Eli’s chest and Emma chuckled. “Doesn’t want to share his mudder,” she told Eli.
“Well, get used to it,” Eli told him. “I’m sticking around.” He kissed Emma again and this time John didn’t push him away. “Tomorrow.”
“Eli?”
“Hmm?” He lingered close, his gaze on her lips.
“Don’t expect my mudder to call you to pick her and my dat up at the hospital when he’s discharged. I’m not schur it would be gut for him to know you’re John’s dat right now.”
“You’re probably right.” He shrugged. “It’s fine. If she wants my help I’ll be there. It’s up to her. Night.”
Emma watched him walk to his buggy then turned and closed the door. “Well, John, how do you feel about going to bed early?”
He chuckled and patted her cheeks.
“Somebody is wide awake,” she said and sighed. “I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night.”
She set him in his crib and gave him some toys to play with. Then she began the task of getting ready to go to bed. The leftovers went into the mini-fridge in the room. She packed the diaper bag with supplies for the next day. Then she took off her kapp, brushed out her hair, and changed into a flannel nightgown. She hung up her dress in the tiny closet and sighed over how few clothes she had and how worn they looked.
John banged his toy against the bars of the crib. Emma felt a pang of guilt watching him play in the small portable crib the motel had provided. She wanted to put him down to practice his crawling around some, but she just couldn’t make herself do it. The carpeting looked clean, but it was so old and worn. She sighed. Well, this was temporary, she told herself.
“Night-night time,” she said as she laid him down and covered him with his blanket. “Time to go to sleep. We’re going to Hannah’s tomorrow to make up time I missed today being with your grossmudder at the hospital. We want to be rested.”
He popped up immediately and grinned at her.
She settled him down and tucked him in again and turned to climb into her bed. It felt gut to rest her weary body. The quilt that served as a spread was thin and faded, but it comforted her, reminding her of the one that had topped her bed as she grew up.
Home, she thought. Soon she hoped she and John would have a home of their own, not this small, temporary space in town. She leaned over to turn off the bedside lamp and saw John was staring at her as he lay in his crib sucking his thumb. “Night, Johnny,” she whispered, and promptly fell asleep.
* * *
“Waiting up for me, Mamm?” Eli asked sarcastically as he walked into the kitchen and shed his hat and jacket.
Gideon looked up from carving a toy as he sat at the table. “Very funny.” He set the wood and his carving knife down. “We need to talk.” He glanced at the doorway to the living room to make schur their mudder wasn’t around.
“I don’t need another lecture,” Eli said tiredly as he touched the side of the percolator, found it still warm, and poured himself a cup of coffee.
“The bishop’s wife paid Hannah a visit at the shop today,” Gideon told him quietly. “Hannah said she was obviously hoping to find Emma there.”
Eli muttered something under his breath and shook his head. He pulled out a chair and sat at the table. He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not fair to give Emma a hard time. Why didn’t Ruby come talk to me? Why hasn’t Abram?”
“They don’t know you’re the dat.”
He sighed. “True. I’ll go talk to Abram.”
“He’s sick with the flu.”
“So Ruby’s the messenger?”
Gideon stared at him. “Does it matter who is talking to Emma?”
“Nee.” He sighed. “I’ll call Abram tomorrow, explain the situation. If he’s too ill to see me I’ll talk to Ruby.”
“That would be a gut step,” Gideon said carefully.
“But it’s just the first step. I know.” He stared into his coffee. “I didn’t need this tonight. How do you think I felt seeing John want you and not me? And he didn’t do it just once. When I went to kiss Emma good night he pushed me away.”
“So you’ll have to win your sohn over, not just his mudder. You can do it. You’ve always had more charm than I have.”
Eli snorted out a laugh. “True.”
“John just spent more time with me at first. You can fix that now.”
He nodded. “Emma said he doesn’t know me as well as you. She told me to give him time.”
Gideon yawned and decided it was time to call it a night. He packed up his tools and the toy and set them aside. “See you in the morning.”
“Ya.” Eli finished his coffee, washed the mug, and headed up to bed.
But sleep didn’t come quickly. He tossed and turned, unable to stop thinking about the day. Life had suddenly become so complicated. He had always gone through life pretty much taking things easy, unlike his more serious bruder. Now it felt like it had backfired on him.
Disgusted with himself, he punched his pillow into a more comfortable shape and willed himself to sleep.
* * *
Dawn came too early.
He dressed and went downstairs. His mudder was already at the stove cooking breakfast.
“Morning.” He knew his greeting came out grumpier than it should when she frowned.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
“Sorry, didn’t get much sleep.” He gulped coffee and burned his tongue. “Going to do chores.”
“I’m making pancakes. That should cheer you up.”
He nodded. “Danki.”
He headed out the door and took care of the horses, then stood looking out at the fields as dawn broke. It’s a new day, he thought. And here he was doing work he loved.
His mood brightened as he walked his fields and remembered all the times his dat had taken him and Gideon out to show them how to plant seeds in the rich soil and nurture the plants that sprung up from them. He’d learned so much about farming and weather. The value of hard work. And how to trust that God would always provide in gut times and bad.
He wanted to teach his sohn those things and have more kinner with Emma, enjoy the kind of familye life on this farm that they’d held for generations.
Last night he’d been upset that John hadn’t been friendly to him. Emma and Gideon had both said that he just needed to spend more time with his sohn. So today he’d find a way. Make that step toward righting things between him and Emma.
As he walked back to the house he remembered how Emma had told John they were home when they got to the motel. He’d make her see that he loved her. That she could depend on him. That he’d provide a home for her and their sohn. The home they deserved.
He couldn’t wait to see them again.
But first he had to make the call to the bishop. His mudder knew about John, but he decided he wanted some privacy and veered off to use the phone shanty instead of making the call on his cell in the house.
Ruby answered and didn’t seem surprised by his call. She told him she’d noticed the two of them going off together after church a few times before Emma left the community. She said Abram was napping but that he had already talked to Elmer and the lay minister would marry the couple.
“Talk to Elmer and set it up quickly,” she told him firmly.
“I will. Tell Abram danki and I hope he feels better soon.”
Relieved, he went inside the house to shower and put on clothes for a visit to town. When he went to hitch Ned to the buggy he saw that Emma had accidentally left John’s blanket in the back seat. As he climbed into the buggy he wondered how he was going to persuade Emma to marry him—let alone quickly, as Ruby wanted him to. And how he would get John to respond to him the way he did with Gideon, to want to come to him.
He was on his way into town when he heard the wail of a siren behind him. After he guided the buggy to the right to allow it to pass he watched it turn down the road in front of him. He frowned, thinking of the familyes he knew who lived down that way. So he said a quick prayer as he checked traffic and eased back onto the road to town.
When he got into Paradise he stopped in at Gideon’s first. His bruder made wooden toys, but he also stocked soft-cloth toys made by a number of talented Amish women in their community. Maybe he could find something for John.
“Well, what brings you into town?” Gideon asked when he walked in.
“Thought I’d throw some business your way,” he said, looking at the display window.
“You want to buy a toy?”
“Got a sohn now, don’t I?”
Gideon nodded slowly. “That you do. You know where the toys are for kinner under two. I’m going to take a quick break while you’re here.”
“That’s fine.”
Eli browsed the baby and toddler section and found just what he wanted. What could be better than a collection of little stuffed farm animals? He carried them up to the front and tucked them into a small shopping bag, then counted out the cash he owed Gideon.
His bruder walked over, carrying a mug of coffee. “Find what you wanted?”
“Waneta’s stuffed farm animals. Here’s the money.”
“You don’t have to pay for them.”
“Ya, I do.” He picked up the bag and rounded the counter. “See you later.”
“Danki for the break.”
“You’re wilkumm. See you later.”
Eli was halfway to Hannah’s when he realized he was passing a florist shop. It wasn’t just John he hoped to win over…so he went inside and had a harder time choosing flowers for Emma than he did toys for John.
A display of arrangements obviously made for new mothers caught his eye. He felt a stab of guilt as he looked at the china baby bootie filled with silk roses. Gifts to a new Amish mudder were more practical than flowers…meals so she wouldn’t have to cook, help with housework, or the kinner.
He hadn’t been present to give Emma anything at all when she delivered John. Nothing. Not even emotional support. All she’d had was her friend in Ohio.
“Can I help you?” A smiling Englisch woman appeared at his side. “You’re Eli, right? Gideon’s twin?”
“Yes. People don’t always get us straight.”
“I see him more often than most since we have shops close to each other. He’s the more serious of you two, carries himself a little differently.”
He could sense her curiosity about the flowers but didn’t ask any questions. Most of the time the local Englisch allowed them privacy.
“I’ll take this,” he told her handing her the bootie.
“It’s lovely, isn’t it? My assistant does these. And such a practical gift, too. Silk flowers will last forever.”
They should at that price, he thought. But Emma deserved them and more. He watched the woman tuck the arrangement into a shopping bag. Then, armed with his gifts, he headed down to the quilt shop.
He’d timed it just right. Emma sat on the bench in front of the shop with John in his stroller.
“What’s all that?” she asked when she saw the bags.
“I got you both something.” He sat and put the bag with the flower arrangement in her lap. Then he pulled out a stuffed cow and handed it to John. “Moo cow,” he told him.
John’s eyes lit up and he grabbed it and immediately stuffed it into his mouth.
“He thinks he’s supposed to eat everything.”
“I thought he should get to know farm animals,” he told her. “He’s a farmer’s sohn. There’s a chicken and a horse and a pig and a lamb.”
“You bought him toys.”
“So he’ll get used to them. One day he’ll take care of the real ones on the farm, right?”
He watched emotions chase across her face. “I—” she broke off as if she didn’t know what to say. She glanced down at the bag in her lap.
“I got you something, too. Not farm animals.”
She lifted out the arrangement and her eyes went wide. “Oh, how pretty.” She stroked the silk petals.
“I wasn’t there when John was born. You didn’t have my support. You didn’t have your familye. Flowers won’t make up for that, but I wanted you to have them.” He took a deep breath. “I want you to marry me, Emma, and let’s make a familye together, the three of us.”
Tears began sliding down her cheeks.
“Don’t make us wait any longer, Emma. Let’s get married. Soon.”
She nodded. “Ya,” she said slowly. “I’ll marry you.”