Saturday was one of those days Lucas loved most. The kids ran in circles on the new spring grass, barely avoiding the colorful new pink and yellow tulips and daffodils at the edge of the flower bed. Lucas and Sarah relaxed on the patio, enjoying a glass of lemonade. They’d been looking forward to this weekend, and to doing some dreaming together about a few home improvements.
As they watched the kids playing tag, Lucas and Sarah laughed out loud, joining the children’s squeals of delight at their dodging and darting getaway maneuvers.
A rickety backyard fence had long enclosed the favorite play area for Emily, Carson, and their friends. Repairing or replacing it to ensure the kids’ safety had to be a priority. This seemed the right time for a little casual brainstorming about what to do.
Lucas stood up suddenly, and Sarah smiled in anticipation.
“I just thought of something, honey,” Lucas said. “Let me get my journal and show you the process Ted shared with me yesterday. It was the main point of the third vital question. Things were so hectic last night that I didn’t want to get into sharing it with you then. But this would be a perfect time—we can use that process to talk about the fence.”
Lucas returned with his journal. Sarah scooted her chair closer to his so she could see the dynamic tension diagram as Lucas did his best to summarize Ted’s “three-step dance” of creating. As Sarah considered the drawings, Lucas sat back and breathed a sigh.
“So, what do you think?”
“I love it!” said Sarah. “Let’s give it a go.”
They started by brainstorming a vision of the outcome. Sarah suggested they take a step back from just focusing on the fence and ask themselves what the real outcome was. Together they decided it was to have a safe and kid-friendly backyard as part of their family environment.
A new fence was a key part of creating that outcome. The existing one was just too far gone. Sarah and Lucas agreed that they wanted a cedar fence, with a gate to the driveway. Also, they’d always imagined having a dog when the kids grew big enough to help with walking and cleaning up after a pet. So another criteria was that the fence be high enough that a full-grown Labrador retriever couldn’t jump over it. Sarah said that in her envisioned outcome, the fence had a little lattice at the top. Lucas liked that idea, too.
The two moved on to discuss their current reality. The current fence was visibly sagging and leaning—and they saw this fact as a support, because it established the need for a new one. The kids loved playing in the yard and often invited their friends to play there, too. Lucas and Sarah liked the fact that their home had become a recreational hub for the neighborhood kids—this was something they wanted to continue to support. Another support: they had built up a good amount of savings.
As Sarah and Lucas talked about inhibitors to their new fence outcome, they got into more detail about finances. Relaxing on the porch without any documentation at hand, they weren’t sure yet, but both assumed their savings wouldn’t cover the full cost of a new fence. It was something they would have to look into more carefully—they didn’t want to drain their savings account on this one project. And neither Sarah nor Lucas knew of any contractors in the area that built fences. Finally, timing was an issue. It was now early spring, and once the kids were out of school for the summer, there would be even more activity in their backyard. Lucas and Sarah wanted to replace the fence before then.
The two of them could feel the dynamic tension between their desired outcome and their current reality. They agreed that the supports outweighed the inhibitors, so they began talking about the baby steps they could take over the next two to three weeks. Sarah offered to ask a few neighbors who also had wood fences if they knew of contractors, and then to choose one or two of the contractors to contact for bids on the cost of replacing the fence.
After they had talked through the dynamic tension process, Sarah said, “That was fun, using Ted’s process to think through this. You know, Lucas, we have been so fortunate in what you’ve learned from Ted through those three questions.
“I realized the other day I was asking myself, ‘How am I relating?’—to the clerk at the drugstore. The things Ted’s taught you have really made a difference in how I think about things, and just how I go through my day in general. It will be interesting to see what else comes out of your conversations with Ted.”
“Yeah, it will,” said Lucas, taking a sip of his lemonade. “No telling what other wisdom he may have to share. He’s a wise soul, that’s for sure.”
And then it was dinnertime. They called the kids in. As Emily and Carson came into the house, a bit breathless from their game of tag with their friends, Emily said to her brother, “You were such a Victim when I tagged you last time!”
“Yeah? Well you were such a Persecutor always going after me!” Carson said in retort, and they both laughed.
Lucas and Sarah laughed, too. As the kids went to wash their hands, Lucas said softly, “I think we have a new family culture emerging here.”
Sarah took his hand. “I think you’re right, sweetie.”
On Monday morning, Lucas settled in at his desk and booted up his laptop. The first email that popped up was from Kasey:
“Hey Lucas, something’s come up that I would really like to share with you. Do you have time to meet in the next day or two?”
Lucas quickly responded, “Sure, I could meet after 4:00 today or tomorrow after 2:00,” and a few minutes later Kasey emailed back: “Perfect! Meet you at my office this afternoon.”
Before heading out to meet with Kasey, Lucas went by the coffee shop. It had been a hectic day. As he rode the elevator up to Kasey’s floor, he thought about his morning conversation with his data analyst.
Lucas felt pretty good about his apology for the way he’d reacted when he learned his teammate had dropped the ball on that internal report. Lucas mentally went over the steps he had taken: consciously shifting into the Challenger role, then focusing on how he could contribute to some kind of learning for the analyst’s benefit.
He replayed the conversation in his mind. Lucas had said, “I realized on the drive home that when I came in and asked you about the missing report, I was actually more centered on myself than you. I was reacting to how my boss might see me, as the team lead, even though I wasn’t entirely aware of that at the time. So I’m sorry I blew up.”
After apologizing, Lucas had told his teammate, “That said, I was still surprised at how you seemed to shrug it off that the report had fallen off your radar. You’re usually right on top of things, and I want our boss to see you in the best light. Is there a way we can set up some sort of system so this doesn’t happen again?”
In the elevator, Lucas smiled, realizing that he had delivered a one-two punch of Challenger and Coach in support of his analyst.
Lucas arrived at Kasey’s office and glanced through the open door. She was on the phone, so he waited a moment. When she caught sight of him, she waved him in and motioned for him to take a seat at the table.
When she ended her call, Kasey asked, “How’s it been going, Lucas? Any more conversations with our friend Ted?”
“Yes, actually,” said Lucas. “We met up a couple of nights ago. Ted shared with me the third vital question and told me about dynamic tension.”
“Ah, what a great process!” said Kasey as she came around from behind her desk and took a chair at the table. “I’ve used it in so many ways, from project planning, to staff meetings, to performance review conversations.”
Lucas perked up at Kasey’s last example. He thought about mentioning the follow-up conversation he’d had that morning with his analyst. Instead he said, “Sarah and I practiced using it this weekend. We thought through how we’re going to replace our backyard fence, following that three-step process. It was so helpful. We avoided getting lost in focusing only on the problem of how much it might cost.”
“That’s a good example,” Kasey responded. “It’s such a simple structure for developing a plan of action. But it really reduces the risk of merely reacting to the problem and the anxiety. Without a structure to follow, it’s so easy to default to the Problem Orientation and go right into drama. When you start with the outcome, problems just naturally end up being addressed in service to the outcome. Not the other way around.”
Lucas replied, “I think if Sarah and I had talked about replacing the fence before I met Ted and learned about the 3 Vital Questions, we would’ve ended up focusing on how much money it would take to do the project and all the reasons we couldn’t afford it. Instead we decided on a couple of baby steps to gather information. And then hopefully we can take steps to solve the financial challenge once we know more.”
Kasey noticed Lucas’s cup of coffee. “Just a second,” she said, getting up to retrieve her own late-afternoon cup from the credenza. Lucas’s mind wandered back to his conversation with the data analyst.
“I wish I’d thought to use the dynamic tension framework with one of my analysts this morning,” said Lucas. “His performance has been less than expected—he totally lost a request from one of the senior managers in Mortgage last week, but he didn’t seem too concerned about it. You mentioned using the dynamic tension structure in your performance review conversations. I’m curious how you apply it in that kind of situation, if you don’t mind sharing.”
“Oh, sure, happy to share,” Kasey said. “Actually, the kind of conversation I was referring to wasn’t the formal performance review. It’s how I handle a conversation in the interim when someone isn’t meeting expectations.”
“That’s perfect for me,” Lucas interjected, “As a team lead, I don’t conduct formal performance appraisals, I only provide input to my boss for him to use. But of course I still need to talk with people about how they’re doing.”
“Right. Well, what I do is pretty straightforward,” said Kasey. “For the most part, I stay in the TED* Coach role and practice the principle of ‘Ask first, tell second.’ And I keep an eye on my learning intention—which is to guide the employee’s reflection on their own performance.
“The first step is a form of focusing on the outcome: I ask them for their thoughts on what the expectations are for anyone assigned to their job. In some cases, I will have asked them to review their job description in advance—I might email it to them ahead of our meeting time. Also, I let them know coming into the meeting that we’re going to talk about their performance and how things are going, generally.
“So, first I listen to their perceptions of the job expectations. Then I chime in with anything that I think might be missing from their description. Again, it’s ‘ask first, tell second.’”
“Once we’re in alignment about the expectations of the job, I move to current reality. I ask them to share what they think they’re doing well, consistent with those job expectations. If what they say sounds on target, I make sure to affirm what they share, and then add my own positive observations.”
“That sounds great,” said Lucas.
“Yes, so that covers the supports.” Kasey went on, “After we’ve explored what actions or attitudes support the expectations of their job, I’m then going to shift the conversation toward what is inhibiting or getting in the way of the employee meeting those expectations.”
“That could be a little tougher,” Lucas mused.
“Well, the next step is critical,” said Kasey, leaning forward. “I affirm whatever is going well in their work and then say, ‘And we need to explore what isn’t going well.’ The word and is the pivot—I specifically avoid using the word but. If I say something positive to you and follow it with the word but, that word would negate and diminish all the good things I’ve just said, right? All you would hear is ‘But …’”
“I never thought about that,” said Lucas, “but I can see your point. Oh, I mean, and I see your point.”
They both laughed. “Right!” said Kasey.
“So how do you get into what’s not working?” said Lucas.
“I ask them another question and get ready to listen to their answer. I ask them to reflect on anything they may be doing—or not doing—that is inconsistent with, or not aligned with, the expectations of their job. If I’ve set the right tone up to that point, I’m often amazed at how readily people will speak to what isn’t going well. And of course, after they’ve finished speaking, I’m prepared to point out anything that they don’t seem to have identified. I try to make sure my tone is objective, rather than having it come across as blame and judgment. If I blamed or judged them, even in my tone of voice, they would immediately see me as a Persecutor, which usually leads to defensiveness.
“So, once we’ve explored both the supports and the inhibitors in the current reality, I then ask them what they think they need to do to bring their performance in line with the job’s expectations. Say, over the next thirty to sixty days. At this point I’m really looking for baby steps that they can commit to.”
“Boy, my conversation this morning could have been so much different if I’d used the whole dynamic tension framework,” Lucas said thoughtfully. “We did get to a baby step—we agreed that he would come up with a system to prevent the situation from happening again. But again … I mean, and again … what you just described would have been really appropriate. I’ll definitely try that next time.”
“It doesn’t work perfectly 100 percent of the time, of course,” Kasey added, “but I’ve seen it improve the situation more times than it hasn’t.
“And one other thing: I make it clear—from a Challenger’s learning intention—that I will both support the person I’m talking to in making the changes they’ve committed to, and I will hold them responsible and accountable for following through on those commitments.”
Lucas nodded. “I’m really beginning to see that there are a lot of different ways to, as Ted put it, harness dynamic tension.”
“One of the other things we’ve done in the various customer call center departments is to use the process in our project planning,” Kasey said. She took a sip of her coffee. “We’ve added a fourth step to the three-step dance of dynamic tension that Ted teaches.”
“What’s the additional step?” said Lucas. He had brought his journal and now opened it, ready to capture any helpful tips.
“Okay, here’s an example,” said Kasey. “Remember when I told you about the Collections group and how they shifted from a Problem Orientation to an Outcome Orientation in working with customers?”
“I sure do,” said Lucas. “That has really stayed with me.”
“As you might imagine,” Kasey continued, “making that change took a lot of time and planning because all of our systems and processes were designed from the Problem—really, the Victim—Orientation. As a bank, we had assumed a Victim perspective, seeing the customers with past-due accounts as Persecutors who were not honoring their financial commitments to us. The whole approach produced and perpetuated drama with the customers that the Collections Department had to deal with.
“To turn it around, we started using dynamic tension as our action planning process. First we began, as you know you always do, by taking the time to envision our outcome: Collections transforming the way they related to customers. We spent one whole meeting just describing the outcome and how we would know it when we achieved it, both from the bank’s perspective and from the customer’s experience. We took half a day to do that, and it really turned out to be worth the time and effort.”
Kasey continued, “Then we had another meeting where we brainstormed how our systems, processes, and structures already supported us in achieving that outcome, as well as those aspects that were inhibiting our capacity to approach customers in the new way we wanted. We identified a number of problems with our current Collections process that we would need to address.”
Lucas looked up from his journal, where he was taking notes. “I’m with you so far,” he said.
“The next step we did is the innovation we added to Ted’s dynamic tension model. The new step was a little more specific to an action planning process,” said Kasey.
“I’m really curious now!” said Lucas, pen poised over his journal.
“Well, here it is: before we moved on to our baby steps,” said Kasey, “we brainstormed possible next steps we could consider taking action on. We looked at our current reality—both supports and inhibitors—in relation to our outcome. And then we came up with four options about what we might do next. Our tag words for these were keep, stop, change, and start.
“I’ll tell you where we got the idea for each of those. All of the actions we needed to keep doing came from the supports list—they were things we needed to keep focused on and continue doing, to support our envisioned outcome. Next we had to identify what actions we could stop doing. We found those by taking a close look at the inhibitors list to see if there was anything we were putting time and resources into that wasn’t necessary. One obvious one was to stop treating our customers as either Persecutors or Victims.
“Third, we considered what we could change, or do differently. Most of those things were culled from the inhibitors list. But we also noticed a few things that had been going well, and were captured in the supports list, that we could tweak to make even more effective.”
Lucas finished writing and held up his hand. “Could you give me an example of one of the things from the supports list that you decided to change?”
“Sure,” said Kasey. “We knew that we had in our records the entire history of each customer’s relationship with the bank. But we were only using that system to check and see when a customer stopped paying. We were ignoring a lot of information that was readily available to us. So as one of the baby steps in this process, we decided to change the way the customer’s history was displayed. We did this specifically so we could see if there had been times in the past when the customer had been past due on a payment and yet still managed to make the payment before their account went to the Collections department. That way, we could let the customer know we were aware of this and reinforce with them that there had been other times they fell behind but had ultimately made good on their loan or credit payments.”
“Less negative, more affirmative. Got it, thanks,” Lucas said.
“Then last, to round out our possible next steps, we brainstormed what we could start doing. These were actions related to the outcome that we weren’t doing yet. In light of our envisioned outcome, these things were what I call ‘conspicuous by their absence’—they were things we could easily see were important to the outcome. One simple example came up in the early planning stage: we could start treating the customers, again, as Creators who probably wanted to keep their credit in good standing.”
Kasey continued, “We then used the items we had listed in the keep, stop, change, and start categories to determine our baby steps. To do this, we asked ourselves, ‘Which of the items we’ve identified as possible next steps can we take action on in the next thirty days?’ Those became our first commitments—the baby steps we would take toward our outcome.
“We then set up a rhythm of meeting every thirty days. First we would report on the results of the baby steps. Sometimes we were making forward progress. And sometimes we learned that certain actions we had thought would work seemed not to be working after all.”
“Any breakthroughs?” Lucas asked. “Ted told me that every baby step is either a step forward, a step back, or, at times, a breakthrough.”
“That’s right,” said Kasey. “In this case, over the first few months that we met and worked this dynamic tension process, planning and testing this new course of action with our Collections group, I can’t recall a particular breakthrough. But as we gained momentum and started trying out some of our later baby steps, we definitely saw breakthroughs in the results that were emerging. It was pretty exciting.”
“I’ll bet!” said Lucas. To himself he thought about what a thrill it would be to help lead a process that actually ended up changing the customer’s perception of the bank from Persecutor to Challenger or Coach.
Lucas skimmed through the notes he’d written in his journal. “So, just to be sure I understand … After you had fully described the outcome with your team, and then assessed the supports and inhibitors that factored into the current reality, you brainstormed your four possible types of next steps—making lists of things to keep, stop, change, or start—before you committed to any specific baby steps.”
“You got it, Lucas!” said Kasey. “That’s the dynamic tension action planning process.” She smiled. “At every meeting, as we worked through the process, we would reconnect to the outcome, to keep it at the forefront of our focus. We would also debrief the results of the baby steps we had taken and see whether those baby steps had made any observable impact on the current reality. Or, when something unexpected arose that we needed to take into account, we would revisit, add to, or revise our possible next steps. Then once again we’d identify and commit to our baby steps for the next thirty days.”
Kasey sighed. “It was a huge project and a pretty complex process overall.” She smiled. “And yet we completed it in just six months. For such a big transformation, it was really efficient.”
“Wow!” said Lucas. “That really is impressive. You must be pretty proud of the way you led your team through that process. It certainly must account for the success you’ve had here.”
“Actually, Lucas, I didn’t lead that project,” said Kasey. “The whole process was led by the woman who supervises the Collections Department. I’ve done my best to share the 3 Vital Questions with my direct report team, and now they use these tools and processes all the time. So the Collections supervisor involved several members of her team and brought in other folks, like IT, when it was relevant. I participated, of course, but when it comes to working this kind of process, I like to, as they say, ‘check my stripes at the door.’ It was a ‘we’ process, not a ‘me as leader’ process.”
Lucas closed his journal, leaned back, and sighed. “I could only dream of working in such a great environment. It’s really inspiring, Kasey.”
“Interesting you should say that, Lucas,” Kasey said as she leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table. “Because that gets into the reason I asked you to meet with me. There’s a job opening that’s going to be posted tomorrow, and it’s one I hope you’ll consider applying for. It’s as supervisor of the team responsible for the Help Desk here in the Customer Call Center.”
Lucas had stopped taking notes and listened with increasing interest.
Kasey continued, “While that position reports to me, we take a team approach to the interviewing process here. So, in addition to my conducting interviews, all job candidates are also interviewed by all of the other supervisors who report to me. With what you’ve learned from Ted, and given the conversations we’ve had, I think you’d make a good candidate.”
Lucas was stunned. It was quite a compliment.
“Also,” Kasey added, “I should tell you that I’ve been considering the fact that we’re neighbors and have had these wonderful conversations. So to keep things fair, if you do decide to apply for the position, I would include my boss in the interview process, too. I would rely heavily on his input, along with the input of the team, as to whom we hire.”
“Wow,” said Lucas. “I sure didn’t see that coming. Really, I don’t know what to say.”
He thought out loud, “I still have that project to develop the analyst report template, although that should be completed in a couple of weeks. So, yes, I think I would like to be considered for the position. I can’t thank you enough for giving me the heads up, Kasey.” Lucas grinned.
“Good!” said Kasey with a warm smile. “Let’s go through the formal process and see how things play out. I appreciate your stopping by late in the afternoon on such short notice.”
Lucas stood up, suddenly speechless. He managed to shake Kasey’s hand. “Thanks,” was all he could think to say.
“Sure thing, Lucas,” said Kasey.
A bit dazed, Lucas took the elevator down to his floor and walked down the corridor of cubicles to his office. He sat down and looked at the picture of Sarah, Carson, and Emily as he pondered the possibility of the supervisory position Kasey had described. Supervising the Help Desk would mean he’d need to understand the computer system they used—that was a big part of their process. Lucas’s computer science degree was certainly aligned with that need. He hoped the way he had led his data analytics team as a team leader would be a plus in the application process.
Lucas had just shut down his laptop and slipped it into his backpack when he heard the door at the end of the corridor clanging open. “Great!” he thought. “I can’t wait to tell Ted about this new development.”
Lucas gathered his things and headed for the door. But instead of the friendly face he’d expected, he saw a new custodian standing behind the cleaning cart.
“Hello,” said Lucas. “I thought maybe you were Ted. Are you substituting for him on this floor tonight?”
The man barely glanced up from his scan of the cubicles. “Nah,” he said. “Ted got transferred. I’m the janitor on this floor now. Gotta keep moving.” He swept past Lucas, scooped up the nearest trash can, and emptied it into the bin.
Still, Lucas, found himself grinning as he made his way out to the car for the drive home. So much had happened in the last hour … and in the last several months.