The most critical unit of time in the life of a young woman is the split-second.
Seriously. It’s huge.
Because it’s almost exactly how long it takes to make an impulsive decision.
I’m going to explain. But first, a hypothetical anecdote.
When I was growing up, if one of my friends or I had wanted to send an inappropriate picture, we’d have to buy a roll of film first. Then, once we took the pictures, we’d have to finish using the whole roll (if you didn’t advance through all the exposures, the pictures were ruined). Afterward we’d have to take the film to a drug store to get it developed, and it would take at least a week for the prints to come back from the lab. At that point getting the pictures still wouldn’t be guaranteed, because the photo clerks would have called our mamas in a heartbeat if they saw pictures where we, for whatever reason, had neglected to wear our clothes.
For sure the pictures would have been a bad idea to begin with. But ultimately we would have had a week of buffer between the idea and the execution of it, with all manner of speed bumps and guardrails along the way.
These days, though, it’s different. And here’s where the split-second comes in. We live in an insta-society where we can impulsively snap a picture and send it to hundreds of people in a matter of seconds. That’s all fine and good and convenient when you’re on vacation and want to send a quick update to the grandparents. It’s not so good, though, when you’re fifteen years old, holding your phone in front of the bathroom mirror and contemplating taking off your top for the guy in geometry who asked you to send him some nudes.
There’s a split-second between taking a picture and sending it. Another split-second between sending a picture and regretting it for the rest of your life.
So if you ever feel tempted to snap or send something you shouldn’t, I pray that you’ll remember these three things:
- Someone who truly cares about you wouldn’t want you to compromise your heart, your reputation, or your testimony. The person on the other side of your text or DM or Snapchat is not respecting you or honoring you. You were made for more.
- Don’t devalue or dehumanize yourself by becoming someone’s pornography. No one gets to objectify you. No one gets to take what isn’t his to begin with. You are a deeply loved and highly favored daughter of the Most High King.
- Set up practical boundaries to create margin and protect yourself against the split-second. Set up photo sharing with your grandmother so that every picture you take shows up on her phone. (I’M SO SERIOUS.) Talk openly with your parents. Enlist a couple of loving friends as accountability partners. Help each other.
Finally, if you’ve made a split-second decision you regret, don’t give it a split-second’s more power over you. Don’t live in fear or condemnation or shame. Talk to someone. Haul that decision into the light. Soak up God’s grace and forgiveness.
You are a treasure, you know.
1. Have you made any impulsive decisions that you regret? You certainly don’t have to make an exhaustive list, but what did the aftermath of those decisions look like for you? Did you second-guess yourself? How do you wish you’d handled things differently?
2. When you’re making a tough decision, whose opinion do you value most? Why is that?
3. Hypothetically, let’s say that you’re tempted to make a really poor split-second decision. Write out the steps you’re going to take to create “guardrails” and healthy boundaries in that situation.
4. Proverbs 11:14 offers sound decision-making guidance. Read it, and then write it down here.
Today’s Prayer