If there’s anything the girls at my school dread hearing from me, it’s a good, old-fashioned modesty talk. Because as much as I try to frame any conversation about modesty in a positive way (and keep it light!) (and upbeat!), I would say that more often than not, talking about what constitutes “appropriate dress” makes girls defensive. And I get it. You’ve heard about the topic so often that it’s easy to want to fold your arms and roll your eyes and check out of the discussion altogether.
So I want to challenge you with something today: maybe, instead of making modesty the be-all and end-all, a better focus—a better aim—would be honor.
Because let’s get this out of the way from the get-go: there is nothing wrong with your body. There’s nothing inherently sinful about your body. There’s nothing indecent or inappropriate about your body. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and there is no reason for you to carry any shame whatsoever in relation to your body.
Where things can go sideways is when we lose sight of honor in connection to our bodies. For example, for the last few months I’ve been under strong conviction that how I’m treating my body isn’t honoring to the Lord, so I’m making a concerted effort to eat healthier and move more. Scripture says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19), and for the last couple of years you could make a pretty good argument that I’ve been taking way too much fried chicken to the temple. However, since I very much want to honor what the Lord has entrusted to me in this physical body, I need to step up my game in terms of taking care of myself. I don’t have to be perfect, but I do want to be faithful.
The same goes for how we dress—how we adorn the temple, so to speak. When it comes to choosing clothes, do you honor the Lord? Do you honor other people? Do you honor yourself? I’m assuming that you’ve all heard the “don’t cause a brother to stumble” admonition more times than you can count, so I’d remind you that guys are just as responsible for honoring you as you are for honoring them. But in addition to that, there are some good questions you can ask yourself when you’re getting ready to hit the town, the school function, church, or whatever—especially if you’re keeping the idea of honor in mind.
- Who am I trying to glorify? God or me?
- If someone needed me to help or serve—with little kids, with elderly people, or with classmates—would I feel comfortable serving in what I’m wearing?
- If my grandmother saw a picture of me on social media in this particular outfit, what would her reaction be?
And let me be clear: I know that you have plenty of pressures, plenty of decisions, plenty of relational struggles. I don’t want to make more of the modesty issue than we should. However, as believers, the issue of honor should always be before us, and we’d be wise to make that our priority—in every single area of our lives.
1. Do you put a lot of thought into the clothes you wear? Explain.
2. Do you like for people to notice what you’re wearing? Do you like for them to notice you? Or do you even think about it?
3. Is what you wear ever a source of conflict between you and a parent? Why is that?
4. What do you think it means to honor other people with how you dress? Practically how would that play out?
Today’s Prayer