You know what would be oh-so-awesome? Well, I’ll tell you.
It would be oh-so-awesome if we could all make it through life without feeling hurt or left out or betrayed. It would be fantastic if nobody ever got her heart broken, if friends always stuck together, and if everybody left high school thinking, Well, that just all went beautifully. I did not experience a single moment of loneliness or sadness because all I have ever known is happiness and, by the way, my hair always looked fantastic.
However, real life and real relationships ensure that we’ll experience almost all of the emotions that we tell ourselves we’d rather avoid. It occurs to me, though, that the biggest problem with pain isn’t the pain itself; the biggest problem is what we do with it. Ideally we would let pain motivate us to learn and grow and work out our issues. But for lots of us, I think, hurt and pain are things we tuck away and push down and block out. We know that we’re not okay, but we decide it’s easier to pretend than to be vulnerable and open up about what’s really going on.
And all too often, we cope by trying to push the pain out of the way. We don’t deal with how we actually feel about our parents’ divorce or a grandparent’s difficult diagnosis or that person who seems to specialize in making pointed, sarcastic remarks that sting our hearts. And when we don’t deal with the pain, we sometimes try to treat our emotional wounds with what amounts to some spectacularly superficial treatment. We just ignore the hurt that’s piled up beneath the surface, and then we wonder why we don’t feel close to anyone.
We blame people, but pain is the problem.
Pain becomes baggage that we carry from friendship to friendship, all the while hoping that if we just assign different, better-sounding words to what we’re carrying—or if we just camouflage it—life will magically be better.
So here’s a hot tip, and you don’t even have to pay me for it: That pain isn’t going anywhere until you let Jesus have His way with it.
Remember this: Jesus knows pain. He knows sorrow. He knows betrayal. He knows fear. He experienced all of the above (and so much more) during His thirty-three years on this earth.
And maybe today is the day that you hand a piece of that pain over to Him. It doesn’t have to be a big, dramatic deal. Just say something like this:
Lord, I’m tired of pretending. I know this (whatever it is) is hurting me more than it’s helping me. I know I’m trying to hide it and keep it in the dark. But today I’m placing it in the Light. I’m handing it to You. I know that You’re a safe place to be vulnerable and to be real. Ultimately, no healing happens without You. So I pray for wisdom, I pray for peace, and I pray for Christian friends and mentors to stand beside me. In Jesus’ name.
Trust me. That pain is too much to carry alone.
Lay it down.
1. What is currently causing you pain? Be specific, and take as much time and space to write as you need.
2. Have you told anyone about anything you listed in #1?
3. What do you want to ask God about your pain? What do you need to tell Him?
4. Write out Psalm 119:76.
Today’s Prayer