Over the last year or so I’ve started sending a lot of voice texts because, well, some of my mom friends got me hooked on it. We talk back and forth every single day via Voxer, which reminds me: yay for communicating without having to find letters on a tiny keyboard! You’ll understand exactly what I mean in about twenty years when your eyes decide they’re no longer interested in helping you see things like words.
Well. Not too long ago a friend and I were messaging back and forth, and both of us clearly were dealing with what I like to call “ish-ahs” (that’s Southern for issues). My friend was wrestling with health stuff, and I was at high tide with grief. Honestly, I’d missed Mama so much the previous couple of days that I felt like I would never get to the bottom of all the sad, and my friend was pretty discouraged by how awful she’d been feeling. So we relayed all the details of what we were working through, and within about five minutes of sharing the nitty gritty, hey-life-is-hard-sometimes details, I sent my friend another message about how really, I had so much to be thankful for, and I was sure everything would be fine.
And then she sent me a message that she was super hopeful that her medicine would kick in soon, and no doubt it was all going to be great because she had a fun family trip coming up that weekend, and she couldn’t wait to feel better for it.
No joke. Within ten minutes we went from some gut-level fear and sadness to confident assurance that better days were ahead.
It was a total 180 in terms of our perspective, and for sure that 180 was possible because we know the Lord and we’ve learned that we can trust Him with the hard stuff. But . . . that conversation with my friend reminded me of something I think is worth mentioning: when we’re walking through difficulty, we can be tempted to upsell it. Sometimes circumstances are challenging and heart-wrenching and anxiety-inducing, and in those moments we don’t have to pretend like, Everything’s fine! I’m doing great! I don’t even have time to panic or cry because I’m just so busy feeling awesome about everything!
I’m not saying that we should be doom and gloom. I mean, my goodness, we do have big-time Hope. In fact, our darkest moments are often when the Light seems brightest. That being said, God isn’t deterred by our honest reactions. He isn’t taken aback when we vent to a friend. We can be vulnerable and real—without feeling pressure to spin the details to make them cheerier than they actually are—while still being utterly mindful of God’s faithfulness.
Life can be tough. That’s a given. And God can handle the times when we need to sit in our sadness and disappointments for a little while. He doesn’t ask us to work it all out, get it all together, and then tell our people what’s going on. He tells us to bear one another’s burdens, to live real life together, and to trust Him to work in and through every bit of it.
There’s no need to constantly upsell or spin. But oh what grace it is to walk through hardships with loving friends, to be completely honest about our feelings and questions, and to know a gracious God who lovingly reorients our perspective as He reminds us of the Source of our hope.
There’s no “ish-ah” that’s too big for Him.
1. Can you think of a time when you’ve downplayed a significant problem—or tried to “upsell” a difficulty, as if it’s really not a big deal?
2. Even if you don’t have personal experience with question 1, play psychologist for a minute: Why do we do that? Why do we seem to feel like we need to discount or dismiss the fact that sometimes our circumstances are just flat-out tough?
3. Is there any issue (ish-ah!) in your life right now that you’re tempted to pretend is better than it actually is?
4. Who’s a person who makes it easy for you to get gut-level honest about life? What makes you feel safe with her (or him)?
Today’s Prayer