A long time ago (probably before lots of you were even born), I was in a job interview at the place where I still work (spoiler alert: I got the job). The man interviewing me was Dr. K—who remains one of my heroes—and about ten minutes into our conversation, he posed a question I’ve never forgotten:
Mrs. Hudson, self-control is a fruit of the Spirit, and it’s essential when it comes to how we communicate with one another here. Do you have a bridled tongue?
Real talk: I had no idea that “bridled tongue” referred to James 1:26. So I did my best to pick up on the context of the question, and I assumed he was asking me if I could control my reactions, refrain from using harsh words, and resist the urge to gossip. My answer?
I hope so. I think so. I really do try.
So sure, it wasn’t my most articulate moment, but I’ve never forgotten how serious Dr. K was when he asked me that question. It mattered to him. And the older I get, the more I understand why.
For example:
We’re living in a very heated political climate. Same for social issues. There’s deep division, intense anger, a bottomless well of opinions, and non-stop social media to fuel the fire. Given all of that, there are endless opportunities to take offense, to feel dismissed, to get defensive, and to fire back at a very nice person who was in our fourth-grade class but clearly has lost her mind considering that she now supports that candidate or that cause. We also have plenty of chances to share our own opinions harshly and without consideration for others.
And somewhere along the line, we’ve confused having a disagreement with NOW I MUST IMMEDIATELY CONFRONT THIS PERSON. We’d be wise to bridle our tongues so that we don’t damage relationships as well as our testimonies. (Really, we need to bridle our fingers considering how heated online comments can be and how prone people are to posting without thinking.) On top of all that, we should be careful about what we repeat. Rumors get passed along as if they’re facts, people refuse to consider different perspectives, and civil discourse seems like the exception rather than the rule.
It would be easy to excuse this kind of behavior and say, “Well, that’s just how things are now. It is what it is.” But as believers, we are called to cool our jets. We’re called to simmer down. We’re called to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger,” and that’s not so our interactions with other people will be more polite and kind. It’s because “human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness” (James 1:19–20).
Well, then. That’s pretty clear, huh?
In James 1:26, we read this: “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless” (esv). So our “bridled tongue”? Our ability to be self-controlled in terms of what we say and how we say it? It matters so much, y’all.
Pray for wisdom with your words today.
1. Does anyone come to mind when you think of someone who is wise in what she says and how she says it? Do you admire those qualities?
2. Besides the fact that Scripture says we need it, what are some practical reasons why it’s good to have a bridled tongue?
3. Have you ever been in a situation—either in real life or online—where you said too much, lost your cool, or regretted your words? How did you handle that?
4. When are you most likely to gossip or speak unkindly about someone else?
Today’s Prayer