Day 81

Vine1.png

Since I have a job where I’m sort of an on-campus mama to junior high and high school girls, people naturally assume that I deal with lots of crying on a weekly basis. Sometimes I guess that’s true—maybe during a week when there are lots of tests or students are feeling particularly stressed—but for the most part, I’ve noticed, teenage girls don’t cry about their own problems as often as people might think.

That’s not to say that teenage girls don’t cry. Of course they do. But what I’ve noticed—and what has surprised me a little bit—is that so many times when I’m talking with a girl who is emotional or crying, it’s because she’s feeling those things for someone else. She’s upset because a friend is having a hard time, or a parent is fighting a health-related battle, or she wishes she could take on a struggle that a younger sibling is facing.

In other words, the grief and the sorrow aren’t necessarily self-focused. Many times they’re other-focused. And although that doesn’t necessarily make it easy or pleasant for the person who is experiencing the sadness, there are a few reasons why I remind girls to be encouraged that the Lord is at work in the middle of the heartache and the tears, regardless of the cause:

  1. Your heart is tender. It might sound trite or obvious, but never underestimate the gift of a tender heart. It is far too easy in this world to become callous or hard-hearted, so shedding tears and feeling brokenhearted lets you know you have not closed yourself off to the suffering and hardship that surrounds you. A tender heart enables you to be responsive and minister to others.
  2. The Lord is building empathy in you. It’s a great thing to be able to feel. It’s even better to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see the world from his or her perspective. When you hurt for your friends, you’re doing just that. You’re empathizing. You’re sharing in their burdens and demonstrating great compassion. That is a gift from the Lord. Anyone who wants to lead well, serve well, or love well will greatly benefit from the ability to empathize.
  3. You’re learning how to take care of your people. One of the hardest parts of friendship—or any relationship, really—is figuring out how to meet individual needs, especially when someone you love is in the middle of a difficult time. There’s a delicate balance between empathy and action, and as you cry and question and whatever else is helpful as you grieve, the Lord is teaching you how to move through your own emotions while keeping someone else’s needs at the forefront. This is a high-level skill when it comes to emotional maturity. What a blessing to be able to cultivate that skill while you’re young.

It never gets easier to see friends and family members in physical or emotional pain, and it can be overwhelming to care for them as we hurt with them. However, the Lord is gracious to put us in situations where we can learn, grow, and mature. We’ll rarely be able to fix someone else’s problems, but we can most certainly be loving, compassionate friends.

82.png

1. Have you ever cried over someone else’s suffering? Explain.




2. Where would you say you rank on an empathy scale? Low, medium, or high? How do you know?




3. What are some ways the Lord has comforted you when you’ve gone through a hard time?




4. Look up Galatians 6:2. Write, illustrate, or doodle it here.





Today’s Prayer