Three days after he arrived, a Monday morning, Logan closed the door of the small den and settled onto the faded green love-seat that had been there as long as he could remember. On a small table beside him sat the same black rotary phone. Glancing down at the yellow legal pad in his lap, he picked up the receiver.

His plan was simple enough. There were twenty-seven comprehensive cancer centers in the United States; each so designated by the ACF for its record in basic research and the range of clinical trials and community programs it sponsored. Before this week was over, he intended to hit every one of them.

As an intellectual proposition, Logan knew not to be overly optimistic; if nothing else, the experience he’d just lived through had taught him how quickly a seeming sure thing can blow up in one’s face. Still, he couldn’t help himself. He’d been around, he knew his relative worth in the biomedical community. Hadn’t he, a mere year and a half before, been among the prize recruits in the nation? And—never mind the recent unpleasantness—it was reasonable to assume that his time at the ACF could only have increased his market value.

His first call, to the Washington Memorial Cancer Center in St. Louis, quickly confirmed that feeling. Here, as at a dozen other institutions around the country, Logan enjoyed the advantage of already knowing a higher-up—in this case a crackerjack oncologist named Bradley Merritt, formerly associated with Claremont Hospital.

Since he ran into one of those automated phone systems that refused to deal with his rotary phone, it took Logan several minutes to reach his office. But when he did, Merritt had his secretary put through the call immediately.

“Dan Logan,” he said, with a heartiness Logan had never before associated with him, “what a terrific surprise!”

“Well, Brad, just thought I’d say hello,” he tried to respond in kind.

“Believe it or not, I was talking about you just the other day—about how many of the best and the brightest seem to come out of that place.” He laughed. “I probably should’ve appreciated it more at the time.”

There was more small talk about Claremont and assorted souls they’d both known there, before Merritt flipped the subject to today. “I assume you’re not calling just to reminisce.”

Logan chuckled. “No—much as I enjoy it. Frankly, I want to find out how things are over there. The sorts of research you’re involved in, the quality of the work environment.”

“You’re asking if there are any openings?”

“I always like to keep my ears open. And my options.”

“What about the ACF? You’ve got to have—what?—another year or so on that contract.” There was no trace of suspicion in this. In fact, Logan had the impression he was trying to restrain his enthusiasm.

“Oh, we don’t exactly see eye to eye on some things. They know I’m looking around.” A variation on what he’d decided would be his standard explanation.

“When could you come aboard?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Caught by surprise, Logan paused a moment. “Probably pretty soon. But, I should tell you, this is the first call I’ve made. I’m going to want to see what else is out there.”

“You’re not going to do better than here. A top-notch facility, quality people.… The governing philosophy is to go after the best—then give them the lab space, and the freedom, to pursue their passions.”

Logan couldn’t believe it: the guy was desperate for him. What Merritt couldn’t know was how appealing it sounded. Logan ached for a lab where he could pursue independent research—and one line of inquiry in particular. “Sounds good,” he acknowledged blandly.

“Look, Dan, do me a favor. Don’t call anyone else today. Let me speak to the director here and see what kind of package we can put together. Will you do that for me?”

“I guess so.” Logan chuckled. “Only, what am I supposed to do now with the rest of the day?”

“Thanks, Dan, really. Just sit tight. I’ll get back to you.”

The call came that evening, shortly after dinner. Logan took it in the same room. As soon as he heard Merritt’s voice, stripped of all animation, he knew something had gone terribly wrong.

“Uh, listen, Dan,” he began, “I’ve spoken to our top guys.”

“Yeah …?”

“It seems we’re in a holding pattern right now. No new hires at all.”

“Oh. I see.”

“Look, I’m terribly sorry. I hope I didn’t lead you on.”

“Not at all.” No need to prolong this; it was agony for both of them.

“Good. Look, I’m sure you’ll land something terrific.”

“Oh, yeah.”

But the knot in Logan’s stomach meant he already suspected otherwise. On some level, this is what he’d been fearing—that, somehow, he’d been tainted.

Over the next two days, he called every one of the remaining eleven institutions in which he knew a senior staffer on a first-name basis. At most, he had no trouble accepting what he heard: sorry, money was tight, they just weren’t hiring. But at no fewer than four, ranging from Scripps-Morgan in southern California to Boston’s Revere Hospital, the St. Louis experience was repeated with only minor variation; strong initial enthusiasm unaccountably dissipating within twenty-four hours.

But, then, he knew what was happening—it was just a matter of facing it. At every one of those institutions, someone had checked in with the ACF.

“Look, Nick, just tell me what’s going on?” Logan finally erupted when his last in-house source called with the bad news. “Who got to you guys?”

“That has nothing to do with it,” came the mealy-mouthed reply. “You know how these things are, decisions that seem made get unmade.”

Anyway, what was the point? Logan already knew the answer. There was only one office at the ACF to which such calls would have been directed: that of Raymond Larsen.

By Thursday morning, as he set about cold-calling the second group of institutions on his list—those in which he would be known, if at all, only by reputation—Logan had reached a decision. At least in this initial approach, he would make no mention of his association with the ACF, acknowledging it only if the matter was raised on the other end. True enough, this could cause logistical problems. How to account for the previous eighteen months? How, indeed, to present himself as sufficiently credentialed as a cancer researcher to make a case for himself as a potential employee? Still, given the apparent alternatives—certain rejection versus at least the slim possibility of moving to the next step—the choice seemed obvious.

Then, again, by the end of that morning, he was convinced the point was moot. The five calls he made to assorted department of oncology heads and cancer center directors, or, more precisely, to their secretaries and assistants, produced not even a flicker of interest. More than that, in a couple of instances, judging from the knowing tone on the other end, he had the impression that his call had been expected.

Could it be that Larsen was actually seeking out potential employees and blacklisting him? Why? Could those bastards really be so vindictive they’d want to bury him?

Or—this was equally a possibility—maybe he was just starting to lose it. Making these calls was hard, a violent assault on his already battered ego; seeing himself as victim was, in its way, safer. It was certainly easier. Sometimes now he found himself overcome by a wave of hopelessness so intense that for minutes at a time he couldn’t bring himself to move, let alone pick up the phone. What miserably wrong turn had his life taken that had him sitting here day after day, staring at those damn pine-paneled walls and the pictures his father had stuck up of dogs playing cards, getting crapped on by people who didn’t know the first thing about him?

Thursday afternoon, at one of these low ebbs, he even came close to calling Dr. Sidney Karpe, the eminent private practitioner who’d so assiduously wooed him before he’d decided to go to the ACF. But, no—what was he thinking? Karpe had been furious at the time; he’d relish the opportunity to get even, and then spend the next six months dining on the story of the little bastard who’d tried to come crawling back after he couldn’t cut it at the ACF.

Instead, he picked up the phone and dialed 011 39 6—the country and city codes for Italy and Rome—followed by the six digits Sabrina had scribbled down in his address book. Instituto Regina Elena.

It took several minutes for the receptionist to track her down. As he waited, Logan could hear the sounds of a busy hospital, at once familiar and exotic: footfalls on a hard corridor, the chime of nearby elevators arriving and departing, a “Dottore Ferlito” being paged over the PA system; occasionally, young women—nurses?—exchanging scraps of conversation, the language so melodic, it might have been poetry. Logan tried to imagine the scene, but with little success. All he could summon up were the grim Italian hospitals in vintage movies, where all the nurses were nuns in white habits.

“Logan, it is you!”

“Who else?” He’d thought about this moment for days; now that it was here, he was determined not to show her the depth of his distress. “I’ve been missing you, Sabrina. A lot.”

“I also, dear one.” She laughed, a marvelous sound. “You see, it is so easy for me to say from far away.”

“You sound great. You doing okay?”

“Yes, I think so.”

The distance made it somewhat awkward, but less so than he’d feared.

“So I guess it’s been an adjustment.”

“Not so much. We have electricity here also, Logan, even some of the modern drugs.”

“I meant in a positive way—that it’s not the ACF.”

“No. Thank goodness.” She paused and her voice fell. “I must tell you something, Logan. Larsen, he called the direttore of this hospital, saying bad things about me. Untrue things.”

He was less caught by surprise than he pretended. “That son of a bitch! How’d he respond?”

“She. Her name is Antonella Torrucci. She told him to go screw his own face, she doesn’t want to hear this. She knows me for years, far better than him.”

He laughed, imagining Larsen’s reaction at the receiving end. “That’s great! One small victory for humankind!” Then, despite himself, “I envy you.”

There was a brief awkward silence. “And you, Logan? What’s happening?”

“I’m still looking. I’m working on it.”

“You are okay?”

“Of course.”

But he suspected she’d already guessed that he wasn’t, and it left him with an empty, helpless feeling. There was another pause.

“Listen, Logan, I must go. I am on duty.”

“I’ll call you soon. As soon as I know something.”

“Ciaò, my love.” He heard a kissing sound. “Ti amo.”

A moment later Logan was staring down at his yellow pad. There remained seven institutions on the list. But by now, he wasn’t even sure it was worth the trouble trying them.

* * *

John Reston was frustrated. He hadn’t expected it to be like this. Hadn’t he done his penance, offered up mea culpas till they were coming out of his ears? Yet still they didn’t trust him. What did he have to do to put the past behind him, bring them Logan’s head on a fucking platter with an apple in its mouth? Others at his level, a lot less sharp than he, were right at the center of the work on Stillman’s protocol, a sure road to glory. And here was he, still in Kratsas’s lab, still doing shit work.

So when he got the call to report to Stillman’s office, he made it over in less than five minutes.

“Close the door,” said Stillman, “take a seat.”

Reston perched on the edge of it. “I was hoping you’d call. I was going to come over and see you.”

“Good, I like that attitude. Because I’ve got important plans for you.”

“Thank God, I’m going stir crazy down there.” Reston smiled. He was about to hear about Stillman’s wonder drug. At long last, he was being ushered into the charmed circle.

Stillman hesitated, seeming to study his face. “Tell me about Compound J.”

“Compound J?” Reston was more than just baffled, he was mortified. Wouldn’t they ever let him forget Compound J?

“And the other one. What’d you call it, Compound J-lite?”

“I guess you could say it was sort of like being on the Titanic—with someone else at the helm.”

“You participated in the research, didn’t you?”

“It was Logan’s baby. Always.”

Stillman leaned forward. “But Dr. Logan’s gone, isn’t he? And so is Dr. Como. You’re here.”

Reston sat there blankly. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure what the senior man was getting at. “The whole thing was a disaster,” he said. “All I want to do now is forget about it.”

“I’m interested in your honest feeling about these compounds. As one who was personally involved.”

“I think they stink. I think they’re killers.”

“No, Doctor,” he said, with sudden impatience, “no one else is here, I want you to level with me. What are their strengths and liabilities? Why was the decision made to go back to the lab in the first place? What structural problems were identified with the molecule?”

Reston hesitated and Stillman moved quickly to reassure him. “I promise you, should we resume research on these compounds, you shall continue to play a prominent role. You can take that as a personal guarantee.”

It took a moment to penetrate. “You’re thinking of doing more work on Compound J? Why?”

“I’m not dogmatic, I’m a scientist. The drug did show some activity.”

Reston laughed uneasily. “Too goddamn much activity.”

“Yes, of course.” From the top drawer of his desk he removed a sketch. Reston recognized it as the chemical structure for Compound J. “Clearly, in your conversations, you discussed ways of mitigating the toxicity problem. I’d like to know what they were.”

“But aren’t you focused on your own protocol?”

In the split second it took Stillman to answer—“I can do both”—Reston began to suspect the truth. This fucker’s own drug doesn’t work!

But simultaneously, Stillman was reaching a disturbing conclusion of his own. “Tell me, Doctor, do you even know the chemical structure of Compound J-lite?”

There was an undercurrent of menace to the question, and Reston caught it. But there was no way he could bluff this one. “I lived and breathed Compound J for almost a year,” he said, falling back on bravado instead. “Short of Logan, I know more about the stuff than anyone.”

“Uh-huh.”

“The work in the lab isn’t exactly my strong suit, but I took notes.”

Stillman didn’t believe him, not for a second. Fleetingly, he wondered just how much this guy might shoot off his mouth. “Good, I’ll want to see those.”

“I think I still have them around somewhere. I dumped a lot of the protocol stuff.”

“Sure, bad memories and all.” Stillman smiled congenially. “As I say, so far it’s only a vague possibility. But if we do pursue this, you’ll be key.”

“Good.” The meeting was clearly over, and Reston rose to his feet. “Till then, maybe you can find me something else worth doing around here.”

“Absolutely, I’ll see to it.” Stillman nodded. “In the meantime, of course, we never had this conversation.”

Throughout the latter half of his stay, Logan’s father had been uncharacteristically restrained. After the call from St. Louis, the one which had left his son so crestfallen, he’d not asked even once about the progress of the search.

“So …?” he finally put it to Logan on Saturday morning, as they drove down Webster Avenue, the town’s main street, in his six-year-old Chevy.

Here it comes, thought Logan. “So what?”

They were en route to the library, one of his father’s weekly routines. A voracious but indiscriminate reader, he’d haul home ten or twelve volumes per trip, everything from Herodotus to Jackie Collins.

“So what the hell are your plans? Or do you plan to make a career of feeling sorry for yourself?”

Teeth gritted, Logan said nothing. He just stared out the window at the passing storefronts, so much shabbier than he remembered them. No question, this guy’d give Seth Shein a run for his money any day.

“Dad, when are you going to lay off? Why don’t you just let people live their own lives?”

“Don’t be a fool. You sound like your sister.”

“I’m going back to New York, all right? I’m probably going to take a job that I’m incredibly overqualified for!”

He’d reached the decision just the evening before, and called Ruben Perez to make sure the spot was still open. The pay was minimal, just $34,000 per year, but working was better than not working.

“And whose fault is that supposed to be?” asked his father.

He sighed wearily. “No one’s, Dad, no one’s fault. I guess I’ll be leaving in a couple of days.”

“You know, I’ll never forget that nickel cadmium storage battery you rigged up for the science fair. Useless, but very interesting. It showed a lot of promise.”

“Right. Thanks.”

Over the years, his father had brought up the storage battery regularly, as if all of Logan’s subsequent accomplishments paled by comparison. Invention had been the older man’s own early passion, as well as his most enduring source of disappointment. Forty years before, while in the Navy, he’d concocted an industrial-strength cleaning fluid—but failed to have it properly patented. A few years later, it was in general use in factories and shipyards, and someone else was cashing in.

“I’ll bet you think I did a lot of things wrong, don’t you?” he asked suddenly.

Logan looked at him, staring straight ahead at the road. Him? Everything. “Look, there’s no sense in getting into any of that. I’m sure you did the best you could.”

“Damn right I did!” He pressed slightly on the accelerator. “Sure, I know I might’ve done more with myself. You don’t think it bugs me?”

Logan turned back to him in surprise. Never before had he heard such an admission from his father.

“I look at this business of you and the ACF,” he continued, “and it just tees me off. They’re trying to do the same thing to you they did to me.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“I just think it’s awful. The world is full of miserable bastards who think they can get away with anything.”

“You’re right.” Logan nodded, feeling better than he had in weeks. “That’s it exactly.”

“Well … you just keep doing your work, that’s what counts.”

Logan nodded. “I know.”

“That’s the best way to fight ’em. It’s what I should’ve done.” His father fell silent for a few seconds. “And how about staying in a little better touch? Your mother misses you.”