18

Nightmare I

As Pops leaves in the morning to go to work, I look at his shoes. They are black, shiny, and new-looking with a spark at the pointed toe as if he could light a fire under his feet. I ask him if these are new shoes, if they hurt his feet. He takes my hands and dances with me and says, Bully my dear, for new shoes they are fascinatingly comfortable and I’ll wear them as long as I live. Okay, I say, you can go now. He kisses me on the cheek and I put my arms around his neck. He says, No no no don’t do that and I say, Why not? He pulls his white collar away and I see a big red mark. I say, No Pops. He turns into a skeleton laughing and laughing as if being dead were the funniest thing and I hold my breath and close my eyes. The picture goes away and Pops drinks his coffee black, which he never does, and goes out the door, his feet setting fire to the floor under him.

Mama sits in the living room in Pops’ chair and sings Some Enchanted Evening. I go outside but it is raining so I go back inside and there is a man I don’t know sitting with Mama, holding her hands. Mama says, Scags be nice now, now you have a new Pops. Odessa is sitting on the couch looking like she just broke the best china Mama has.