Blue was floating in a warm sea, rocking gently back and forth on dry soft waves. There were voices drifting about above her, saying things that in another world, she would have cared about, but in this world, meant nothing. She was sure she was already dead. She was not surprised to find that her mind was still alive even though her body was not. She wondered why everyone was so afraid of this. Death. If only she could tell them it was okay, but it didn’t really matter. They would find out themselves someday.
She had floated up from the deeper, darker, dry water, where earlier she had almost sunk to the bottom. It was dark down there, but quiet, and peaceful. She was ready to fall into the most pleasant deep sleep she had ever had. She was bobbing, deeper, deeper, deeper, looking forward to resting on the bottom. But then there was a warm feeling in her chest and it expanded, being inflated by some magical force that was warm around her mouth. Maybe this was the kiss of death? It felt very pleasant, and she was pleased when it returned a second time. With the added buoyancy of this warm swelling in her chest, she had started floating upwards again, and the light was returning brighter and brighter. And then she had the sensation of falling—but falling gently and then landing on her side without any pain. She hadn’t fallen back onto the dark ocean floor, because it was light here. It was the ocean surface. Maybe she had passed over to the other side—heaven or hell—or eternity. She was jostled about as playful sea creatures pushed her around on the ocean surface, and one of them had splashed her with a bitter spray which almost made her wake up—and that had annoyed her—but they had gone away now, replaced by the soft drifting voices and the gentle rock of the dry waves. She saw little shadows and lights pass above her from time to time, slowly getting brighter and then rushing away as if they were in a hurry. What is your hurry, she thought. This is forever. Stop and stay awhile.
Things came to Will in fuzzy flashes. He could sense he was lying on his back, rocking back and forth like he was on a train. Next, he could sense lights going by, but he couldn’t quite open his eyes. Time seemed to go by, but he couldn’t tell how much time. His left side and arm felt numb and aching. It was hard to breathe because of pressure on his chest. When he did breathe, the air was sweet and cool and fresh. It was delicious. He could hear a motor, and tires on the road, and voices. His eyes finally opened in small slits. Why was he having so much trouble opening his eyes? Then a voice, a man’s voice, was close by and clear. He realized it was directed at him.
“Hey, look who has decided to join the party! Will, how you doing buddy?” said the man’s voice.
Will tried to say ‘okay’ but all that managed to come out was a hoarse “. . . kay.” He tried to say ‘been better’ but gave up after it came out “beh . . . b . . . er.” His voice sounded bottled up and he realized he had a mask over his face.
“That’s awesome, you are doing great! Good to hear your voice, man. Bet you’re finding it hard to talk. We’ve got a mask with some oxygen on you. My name is Pete, and over there we have the lovely Sarah. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, we are in an ambulance on our way to the hospital, where they are going to take great care of you.”
“Hey Will,” said Sarah. Will tried to look over but he winced in pain.
“Yeah, that’s going to hurt,” said Pete. “Just relax and take it easy. We gave you some pain meds, but the heavy duty stuff will have to wait until you’re at the hospital. Those meds can make you kind of fuzzy and spaced out, and we can’t have that right now. We need to be able to talk with you.”
Will was starting to come around a little. The oxygen was helping a lot. He gulped it down thirstily. And then he remembered how he got here, and the situation started coming back to him in a rush. He instinctively tried to sit up and look around but cried out in pain.
“Hey, it’s okay, Will. Don’t try to move around. I’ve got to keep this pressure on your chest to keep it from bleeding again. Just talk to me, okay?” said Pete in a calming voice.
The pain subsided but his shoulder and chest were throbbing from the movement. “Blue?” he managed to say clearly. “Where’s Blue? Is she okay?” He looked urgently at Pete who was leaning close over Will.
Pete slowly smiled and said, “If you promise to look at me and lie still, I will tell you that she is pretty sleepy and out of it but is completely safe and breathing strong and steady. Oh, and she is lying about six inches from your left elbow on the folding stretcher. Is that what you were hoping to hear?”
Will couldn’t help himself, he started to look to the left in spite of the pain, but Pete was way ahead of him and had Will’s head held firmly with his free hand. “Hey, hey, hey, what did I just tell you? You’re breaking the deal. Lie still! Now, if you just calm down, I will help you turn head slowly so you can see, and we won’t risk opening up these wounds Sarah and I worked so hard on, okay? But I’m not going to do it until you relax. Are you relaxed?”
Will nodded ever so slightly and tried to relax. Pete gently tilted Will’s head to the left, and Will could see Blue’s profile. She was lying still with her eyes mostly closed, and clearly not fully awake. She was rocking with the motion of the ambulance just as they all were, like an involuntary pantomime. The light in the ambulance was dimmed, and the passing streetlights made a lively wave of light and shadow which played over the still ravaged, but peaceful face underneath.
Pete looked at Sarah with a grin and nodded his head at the pair. He turned back to Will and said, “She is going to be fine. She’ll probably be up and about long before you are, actually. All we had to do was give her some oxygen and bag her with this.” Pete held up a clear plastic bag with a face-mask on one side. “This helps her breathe. It’s like mouth-to-mouth resuscitation but without the mouth. You know what mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is, right Will?”
Will wondered if they knew that he had given Blue mouth-to-mouth. Even with all the blood he lost, he felt himself blushing, but Pete didn’t seem to notice.
“We also gave her a spritz of Narcan, which helped boost her respiration rate. She should be fine now. We just have to wait until she comes down off the heroin.” Pete must have seen the look of concern on Will’s face because he spoke up quickly. “Hey, don’t worry, it won’t last. She’ll be fine as soon as it is all out of her system. You don’t need to worry anymore, okay? You’re in our ambulance and we don’t let anything bad happen once you’re in our ambulance. You have both been through the worst already, and you’re going to get patched up by the best doctors on the planet. Got that?”
“Got it,” said Will, finally giving in to the reassuring rhythm of Pete’s voice and words. Will tried to make a thumbs-up with both hands, but his left hand felt like it was asleep. His right hand worked, though.
Pete gave him the thumbs up back and said, “I saw your left hand trying. That’s good!”
Will did feel like they were both safe now, and that thought was a powerful sedative. He let his eyes slowly shut again with the rocking of the ambulance and the ebb and flow of light that passed through the window.