| |
MAGGIE’S HANDS FISTED. If she weren’t in a hospital and standing near children, the sick, and the elderly, she’d scream at the top of her lungs. A few times. Or twenty. She did not want to talk to Josh Bergeron. Why didn’t anyone understand that the man reminded her of everything she’d lost? Her dreams of love, marriage, and a family? Her love of home on the Coast, her childhood on sea and shore? And with Josh working as a pilot like her father...plus the fact he hadn’t been there for her when she needed him most. He hadn’t even left school in New York to come to her father’s memorial service.
Yet, there he stood with his hair the color of sand and his stupid big eyes with alternating shades of blue sky and water. Melting her heart again.
No. She wouldn’t let him.
Angie’s mere mention of his job shredded through Maggie’s raw emotions like broken shells under bare feet. The reckless career of piloting ships had ripped her father from her life. Ripped away her sense of security and peace. Almost ripped away her faith.
Josh was brilliant. He could’ve picked any profession—any place in the world. Not that piloting ships from all over the world didn’t take brains. But her father had taken Josh in like the son he’d never had. He’d taught him about the tides, the winds, the obstructions in the water. Passed on his passion for the sea. Then Daddy had disappeared into the Gulf he loved so much, leaving her family heartbroken smack dab in the middle of the most destructive natural disaster in the history of the United States.
Though exhausted with the heaviness of the day’s emotions, she summoned her strength to continue the battle of wills with Angie. “We can talk later. There are too many variables. No one has to decide the future right now. Besides, I heard Josh lives next door, for goodness’ sakes.” She couldn’t stop the eye roll or the scoff.
Dahlia pressed her hands to her hips. “Let’s eat already. I’m starving.” The attitude again.
“Me, too.” J.D.’s small voice battered against Maggie’s resolve.
“Let me help out, Maggie. You can’t do it all by yourself.” Angie made a dramatic wave.
Maggie bit her tongue. Who did that Angie think she was? Some kind of matchmaking counselor? The girl hadn’t seemed like such a meddler in high school.
Her gaze skimmed from Angie to J.D.
Angie, she could tell no, but not the children. “Y’all go on and eat. I’ll see you in a little while.” Maggie lowered her voice and turned back to Angie. “And if you really want to help, someone can figure out how to get Aunt Ruth’s car home...” Aunt Ruth sure didn’t need to drive after dark.
“Graham and my dad can do it.” Angie gave an understanding nod. “No problem.”
Maybe Josh would take the hint and leave with them. But she had promised Cammie she’d speak with the man. She may as well get the talk over with. Groaning inside, Maggie stepped toward him.
Years ago, she’d begged Josh to shift his dream away from piloting. In turn, he’d begged her to accept his career choice. They’d both refused to budge. Hoping the other would finally give. Neither did. He’d clung to his beloved Merchant Marine Academy in New York, discarding her, while she’d grieved the loss of her father. The last thing she wanted to do was relive that misery.
~~~
THE OTHERS DISAPPEARED around the corner, and Josh battened down his emotions. Hurricane Maggie. Blowing back into his life. The storm that swept him up and capsized him every single time he thought of her.
Suddenly, she was beside him, smelling like the sweet Southern flower that was her namesake. After over a decade, she looked even more beautiful than she had before, if that were possible. More like a woman than a teen. But where once she’d been a spirit so alive, so strong, sadness now shrouded her eyes, her posture. The image cut deep into his heart. He’d failed her when she’d needed him. Hurt her almost as brutally as Katrina had.
“Everyone wants us to talk. Let’s get it over with.” She avoided looking directly at him.
Lord, help me be a comfort rather than a burden. “Can we get a bite of supper downstairs?” As soon as she got some food in her, he’d ask about Cammie. But it was clear Maggie was barely upright. She needed fuel and rest first. “Neither of us have eaten. From what I remember, you got...” Why had he started that sentence?
“I got what?” Her eyes seared him.
May as well dive into shark-infested water. “You got cranky when you were hungry.”
“Me? Cranky?” Her hands went to her hips in a movement exactly like Dahlia’s had done moments earlier. “You were the grumpy one.”
He dared a partial smile. “Okay, I was, too. We were a lot alike. Stubborn. Tenacious. Neither willing to bend.”
“I was willing to bend.” She scoffed. “I asked one thing of you. Give up the idea of piloting. Choose any other career somewhere away from the Coast and be with me.”
“And I asked one thing of you. Support my dream and wait for me.” And her answer still rammed against a tender scar.
She blew out a long breath. “Good grief. It’s over and done with. No need to relive it.” Maggie mashed her palm to her forehead as if pressing out tension forming there.
Yep. It had been many years ago. But the pain surging through his chest hurt exactly like it had before. Looking at her standing there, probably going through the same kind of anguish, twisted his judgment, and he rested a hand on her shoulder. “Maggie.” Her name came out in a husky whisper. “When you broke things off, it killed me. I thought you’d...” The words tangled on his tongue.
“You thought I’d change my mind.” Her lips turned down, and she lifted her eyes to his, gaze softening. Moisture pooled near her lower lashes. The longest, blackest lashes he’d ever seen. “And I thought you’d change your plans and come to me.”
The desire to hold her overwhelmed him. Not giving into the urge left him feeling as if he were drowning, gasping for air, so he took a step back and schooled his expression. “Let’s go eat. I’m getting cranky.”
A resigned chuckle bubbled from her throat. “Me, too.”
Down the hall to the elevators, they walked in uncomfortable silence. They both reached to press the lobby button, hands colliding.
The touch zapped through Josh like a bolt of electricity. “Sorry.” He jerked his arm back.
She did the same. “You can press it.”
“Okay.” He extended his hand again slowly, carefully. The silliness of it made him laugh.
She gave him a curious glance, which made him laugh again.
“This is crazy.” He nudged her with his elbow. “We’re not teenagers anymore.”
A begrudging smile lifted her lips, the way he remembered. “That’s basically what Cammie said when I saw her.” Maggie shook her head, causing the mass of curls to brush her shoulders. “We’re a mess, aren’t we?”
More than he wanted to admit. “I know I am.” And his fingers itched to toy with her hair.
Once they’d gone through the food line and settled in a cafeteria booth, Maggie aimed an intense stare at him. “Cammie’s paralyzed from the waist down. We don’t know if it’s permanent.”
Nausea swept through him, and Josh pushed his tray aside. One more tragedy in a long line of heartbreaks for this family. The unfairness of it all. Bowing his head, he folded his hands. “Lord, please let the paralysis be temporary. Heal your servant Cammie, in Jesus’ name.” The lump in his throat kept him from saying more. His eyes burned as he lifted them back to Maggie.
A tear ran down her cheek as she stirred the green beans on the tray with her fork. “Amen.”
“Don’t worry about J.D. He’s my responsibility, and I’ll figure something out. I’ve got two weeks.” But he had no idea what he’d do.
“Where is his mother?” Her jaw tightened as she lifted her gaze to meet his.
A loaded question with a tough answer. “She’s remarried and living in Nevada with her new husband. A casino executive. Parenting wasn’t for her.”
“As if that’s a choice?” The fire returned to Maggie’s eyes.
Bitterness uprooted from his past. “Tell that to my dad.” The irresponsible jerk had decided being tied down with a family wasn’t his thing, left a note, and never looked back. Though Josh’s six-year-old heart kept up hope for years afterward. He’d vowed to be a better father than his own, an honorable man like Mr. Marovich. But somehow he’d married a woman who’d repeated the history in spite of his best efforts—desperate efforts at times.
Maggie pressed her lips together, and the blaze receded a bit. “Sorry. I never understood that one either.” Her head tilted. “But isn’t your mom around?”
“Her company moved overseas, so she took a new job in Atlanta, met someone, and remarried. Right before Trisha left.” He picked up his fork and stared at it. “Mom’s new husband’s a nice enough guy. She took all her vacation days and sick leave to help me out when my marriage first went south. She’s taken J.D. up to Atlanta and hired a sitter for some of my two-weeks out.” His stomach growled, and he slid his tray closer. “She may retire soon, but that really won’t be a permanent fix with her living six hours away. And she’s due a bit of happiness with her new husband. I don’t want to dump J.D on her every month.” He took a bite of meatloaf. Bland, but not bad, considering.
“What about bossy nurse Angie? Isn’t her husband a pilot? Who keeps their child?”
“Yeah, Graham’s a pilot, but Angie only works part-time. Plus both their parents live here and help them out.”
Maggie’s fingers massaged her temples as if trying to figure out the mess he was in. “Hmm.”
“It’s not your problem.” He brushed her fingers with his own. “You’ve got your family to worry about.”
Her gaze traveled to his hand, then found his eyes again. “How’d you end up having Cammie watch J.D. anyway?”
“A fluke. I had to sell the house in the divorce and was searching for someplace to move in a hurry. I was driving around our old stomping grounds to take a look and saw a For Sale sign.” He shrugged. “She was outside, saw me. We talked, and she offered to help.”
Maggie huffed. “Were either of you going to tell me? I do come here. Occasionally anyway. Besides, Cammie has enough on her plate already.”
Was she kidding? Heat shot to his cheeks. The woman still infuriated him so. “Your first thought is about how the arrangement would affect you? My life was falling apart and my kid had no mother.”
“Sorry... It wasn’t my first thought...about you, I mean him. He’s precious.” Maggie’s brows did that scrunching thing they always had when she was upset.
A bit of his anger receded. “Cammie said she needed the money.”
“She needs money that bad? Why wouldn’t she tell me?”
“That’s what she said.” Guilt knifed him. He shouldn’t have lit into Maggie that way. Both he and Cammie had known the arrangement would likely upset Maggie. “The antique business is down, I guess.” He snapped his fingers. “Oh, and she wants to send Dahlia to private school.”
Maggie seemed to let that sink in and took a few bites of her food.
Josh followed suit. He should eat. This probably tasted better than what he’d find in his freezer at home. If there was anything in there at all.
“I have to get them all out of here before the storm.” She dropped her fork onto the tray. “Permanently, if it’s up to me.”
“Maggie.” He kept his voice low and controlled. “You can’t keep running every time there’s a storm. Life happens, accidents happen. People have heart attacks, get cancer—”
Her chair pushed back with a scrape. “I’ve faced plenty of storms. But I’m not looking to run headlong into them.”
One look at her expression told him he’d hit a nerve. He’d forgotten about her mother’s cancer. What an idiot he was.
She jabbed a finger at him. “You should get your son to safety.”
Apparently, the conversation was over. He watched her stomp away. Again.
He knew better than to chase her down and try to talk sense into her stubborn head. Once she got into that mode, reasoning wouldn’t be possible. He also knew she had too much on her plate. There was no way she’d be able to take care of the store, her elderly aunt, a ten-year-old niece, and be here at the hospital. Maggie wouldn’t want help, but too bad. A crisis changed things, and last time, he’d been too caught up in his own grief to realize that. He’d help until Cammie had a better prognosis. Then he’d likely have to get out of their lives all together. Again.
Josh picked up both their trays, emptied the half-eaten food, and set them on top of the trash can. On the way to the parking lot, he replayed the conversation with Maggie in his mind. He’d have to learn to think before he spoke if he was going to help Maggie—to avoid stepping on a land mine of emotion. Topics like cancer, piloting, parents...the weather. Were there more?
Why had he bought the house next door? He’d known better. Known that Maggie would be hurt. Known that seeing her would slash both of their hearts open again. But he’d held out hope that the arrangement with Cammie and J.D. could work...and maybe, just maybe, he’d held out hope for him and Maggie.
That had been a mistake.
Josh clicked his key fob and opened the truck door. He may as well face the facts. He’d need to find a new nanny for J.D., and probably sell that house, too. Or find a job with slightly normal hours, like teaching at the maritime school, maybe running harbor tugs or cargo surveying. Another reality that would tear his heart to shreds. Besides being a father, piloting was his life. Without it, who was he?