Measuring only 18 inches by 24 inches, made up of oil paint on a canvas backing, the little painting The Improbability of Love has an extraordinary history, which has just got even more fantastical. Due to be sold at Monachorum auction house at 8 p.m. last night, the picture by the eighteenth-century master Antoine Watteau had been expected to break all records. Though not as fine or as historically important as a great Titian or Leonardo, nor as fashionable or cutting edge as a Richter or a Warhol, this picture’s provenance has captivated imaginations worldwide. Many collectors fancied adding their names to the illustrious roster of history’s most notorious kings, queens, great thinkers and lovers who have owned this painting.
Moments before the sale started, a power cut plunged the saleroom into darkness and the auction house into chaos. Automatic security gates descended, locking some 250 important guests into the saleroom. Pandemonium ensued, made worse by the arrival of twenty armed policemen who clashed with the private security teams protecting some of the world’s wealthiest individuals, as well as the President of France and the British Minister of Culture. Several shots were fired. Mr. Barthomley Chesterfield Fitzroy St. George was shot in the arm, but the only fatality was the seventy-nine-year-old Mrs. Melanie Appledore, the New York–based philanthropist, who died of a sudden heart attack.
Matters were not helped by the crowds outside who had gathered to watch the live auction feed. When the power loss cut the TV screens, disgruntled spectators tried to force their way inside the auction house.
In the mayhem, no one noticed that the picture had disappeared from under the noses of the world’s media, the police and the security teams. Unmitigated confusion followed: had a handler taken the painting to a strong room? Had one of the grand guests swiped it?
In the early hours of this morning, a journalist from this paper, stationed outside the private home of Mr. Memling Winkleman, reported that uniformed officers had arrived at the house at 8 a.m. and left accompanied by the prominent art dealer. Later, Paddington Green police station confirmed that a ninety-one-year-old man and his fifty-year-old daughter, Rebecca Spinetti-Winkleman, were helping with inquiries. No charges have yet been brought.
At noon today, Ms. Annie McDee was released from HMP Holloway, and all charges have been dropped. Readers will recall that Ms. McDee had been remanded in custody, charged with theft, extortion, conspiracy to defraud and the murder of Mr. Ralph Bernoff, son of the proprietor of Bernoff Antiques, Goldhawk Road, London.
At 10 a.m., the Simon Wiesenthal Center tweeted that one of the last Nazi section leaders, Heinrich Fuchs, had been unmasked. Fuchs, one of the key players in Hitler’s notorious “art squad,” or the Einsatzstab Reichsleiter Rosenberg (ERR), has been at large since 1945. Unconfirmed rumours suggest that Fuchs had stolen the identity and heritage of a deceased Berlin Jew, Memling Winkleman, who died in 1943 at Auschwitz.
At 11 a.m. the President of France issued the following statement: “Last night I came to Britain to complete the purchase of an important French work of art, Watteau’s The Improbability of Love, which should be hanging in the Elysée Palace in Paris. It is of utmost importance to my country that the painting be returned as soon as possible.”
At midday, Number 10 Downing Street issued the following statement: “We are pleased to announce that one of our operatives was able to rescue the painting by Watteau, The Improbability of Love, from the auction rooms last night. The painting is being held at an undisclosed address until further notice.”