When she’d arrived back at her house after dropping Hanne and Freya at the airport, Pam was immediately struck by the thick, dull silence that greeted her. The house had somehow come alive with the three of them there, but now it felt empty, and so did she. Briefly, she considered whether Sofia would like to come back, but decided it wouldn’t be fair since the girl was better off where she was, in a house with other young students, which was obviously more fun for her. Pam wandered round stripping the guest beds and loading the washing machine in a bid to fill the house with activity if nothing else. Then she texted Dez and invited him for supper.
He texted back, almost immediately.
Flattered by his enthusiasm she texted back.
Then, since there was over an hour before she’d have to leave for Charley’s shop, she threw her energies into planning a menu and making a shopping list. Given how understanding he’d been about Freya’s illness she decided to treat him, to push the boat out and cook something special, and damn the expense.
Flicking as much through her mental recipe log as her cookery books she opted for baked camembert with honey and rosemary, and garlic bread to start with, followed by butterflied sea bass with zesty lemon dressing, new boiled potatoes and a salad, and then mocha chocolate pots. Then, remembering that Dez liked meat more than fish, and didn’t seem to be a big fan of soft cheeses, she instantly changed her mind and opted for a very traditional and simple Parma ham and melon starter, followed by steak in garlic butter, with potatoes dauphinoise and a salad – no, with broccoli, since he preferred hot vegetables. She stuck with the chocolate pots for pudding though – there were limits to the culinary sacrifices she would make for him! The prospect of cooking, and then eating, some of her much-loved dishes raised her spirits and she swung breezily into Charley’s shop just after two o’clock that afternoon. She’d texted her daughter-in-law to let her know she was on her way but even so, the younger woman’s face lit up when she walked through the door.
‘I am so sorry, I couldn’t get earlier this week—’ started Pam, then she broke off in surprise at seeing Tara still in the shop.
‘It was fine,’ said Charley, embracing her warmly. ‘Tara’s been staying late.’
‘Oh! How very good of you,’ said Pam turning to Tara and trying to keep the astonishment out of her voice. ‘I was so worried about leaving Charley in the lurch.’
Tara shrugged it off. ‘It was no problem. In fact it’s been fun!’ Then reaching for her bag and coat she added, ‘But since you’re here, I may as well nip off. It’ll give me time to pick up a treat for Monnie on the way to school.’ On her way out she looked back over her shoulder at the door, ‘Back to normal next week, then, Charley?’
‘Fine. And thanks again!’ Charley called as the door swung shut.
It didn’t escape Pam that having Tara’s additional help might have been a double-edged sword for Charley. ‘I hope it didn’t put you out, having to ask Tara to cover for me?’ she said anxiously.
‘I didn’t have to. She offered.’
‘Oh!’ said Pam, this time not bothering to conceal her surprise.
‘Yes, she’s been very committed, all week,’ said Charley and Pam detected a note of mild despair in her tone. ‘We’ve had a sale,’ she said meaningfully, indicating the window.
‘Ah,’ said Pam, taking in the lurid display. ‘Tara’s idea, I take it.’
‘Yup. And her bunting,’ replied Charley somewhat needlessly.
Pam grimaced. ‘Well I am sorry, and especially for giving you such short notice.’
‘Good!’ replied Charley, suddenly chippering up. ‘Because I need to beg a favour.’
‘Anything!’
‘Again, good! I wanted to ask if you could look after the shop on your own tomorrow, while I get Ricky from the airport.’
‘Of course I will,’ said Pam, secretly delighted to hear that Charley had offered to collect Ricky, yet trying hard not to let it show on her face, or to read too much into the gesture. However, given the light shining in Charley’s eyes and the elation on her face, she felt safe to at least mentally cross her fingers.
Especially when Charley began confidingly, ‘The thing is…’
At which point a customer walked in, cutting Charley off.
Champing at the bit to hear what ‘the thing’ was going to be, Pam started unnecessarily tidying the tea towels, then the aprons, then the oven gloves and countless other items until, after spending the best part of ten minutes buying a couple of packs of sweets and a scented candle, the customer finally left and Charley could continue.
‘The thing is,’ she started again, and Pam held her breath and hoped against hope that her daughter-in-law had finally seen sense and realised that one of the loveliest men she would ever meet, and who absolutely adored her, was the man she was meant to spend the rest of her life with.
When Charley somewhat sheepishly admitted that she had, Pam raised her hands to the heavens in mock irony and exclaimed, ‘Hallelujah!’
‘Although I haven’t actually told him yet,’ confessed Charley. ‘I was going to tell him at the airport when I pick him up. Which is why…’ she paused briefly. ‘Why I was wondering if it would be all right with you if I didn’t come back to the shop afterwards?’
‘Of course, darling,’ said Pam trying to keep her face expressionless, despite secretly assuming that the two of them would undoubtedly want to leap into bed to make up for lost time. ‘I’m sure you’ll have a lot to talk about,’ she said, deadpan, and much to her delight, her daughter-in-law blushed bright pink.
‘Seriously, darling,’ said Pam after a few moments, giving the glow in Charley’s cheeks time to subside, ‘I couldn’t be happier for you.’ And I know Josh would be happy for you too, she thought, but with admirable sensitivity, refrained from bringing Josh into the frame.
Most Friday evenings Pam stayed on after closing to help Charley prepare for Saturday. This evening, however, she was eager to get away as soon as the last customer had left.
‘I feel dreadful nipping off when I’ve hardly been in all week, but I’m cooking supper for Dez and I need to get to the supermarket beforehand,’ she explained.
‘No, that’s fine,’ Charley said, then went on to ask casually, but with a mischievous glint in her eye, ‘How are things going between you?’
The all too evident air quotes around the word ‘things’ made it Pam’s turn to blush pink. ‘Fine,’ she said airily. ‘Actually, more than fine. I really like him.’
‘Fantastic!’ enthused Charley, and Pam was touched to see she seemed genuinely pleased for her. ‘When am I going to meet him?’
‘Um…’ Pam adopted a pensive look as if she were running through her mental calendar. After Dez’s drunken exhibition at Zee’s, she was wary of introducing him to anyone else. ‘I’m not really sure.’
‘Well, why don’t we all go out for supper one night, you and Dez, and Ricky and me? A double date!’
God no! Instinctively Pam wanted to protect Dez from having to meet Charley and Ricky in a public venue, or maybe it herself she was trying to protect. Either way, she sought cover in comedy.
‘I know I’m out of touch with modern dating, darling but, can I just ask, is it considered absolutely normal for a daughter-in-law and her boyfriend to go on a double date with the daughter-in-law’s mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law’s mother-in-law’s boyfriend? Only it all sounds desperately complicated to me!’
‘Hmm. Maybe let’s not!’ agreed Charley, with a mock grimace, much to Pam’s relief.
A short while later, wincing at the cost, Pam pinged her credit card at the supermarket checkout. She’d splashed out a bit too much, having bought a bottle of red for Dez to go with the steak, as well as a four-pack of beers and a small bottle of dessert wine as a special treat. Oh well, it was too late now, she thought, packing everything into the motley collection of bags-for-life she kept stashed in her handbag.
‘Have a good evening,’ said the checkout man politely – or more probably, automatically.
‘Thank you! I’m certainly planning to,’ she replied. ‘You too,’ she added over her shoulder as she left, although thinking about it, the poor chap was probably going spend it stuck behind the till.
Getting back to the house, she put some music on, loudly, to banish the silence, and started preparing the dauphinoise potatoes. Once all the food was prepped, she went through to set the dining room table. She fished out her best white tablecloth and, employing her time-honoured technique, she held two corners and deftly flicked it out, watching it flutter down to neatly cover the table. She ran her hands over it, smoothing out the creases, and then dressed the table with candles, the cloth napkins which only came out at Christmas or birthdays, and a small vase of assorted late blooms she’d hunted down in the garden. Giving the table a final once-over she decided, ‘Not bad. In fact, downright classy!’ It was late September, and although it was still light outside, by the time Dez arrived it would be dusk, and dark enough for candles. She went back into the kitchen to finish cooking, excitement and anticipation simmering inside her.
‘Wow!’ breathed Dez in the dining room doorway when she led him through to the candle-lit room. ‘This looks stunning!’
‘Thank you!’ beamed Pam.
‘And so do you,’ he said, taking hold of her before leaning over and kissing her warmly.
Cheeks glowing, he went to bring in the starters, and realised she was looking forward to sharing not just the meal, but the rest of the night together too, and was unabashed when a frisson of anticipation shivered inside her.
It was just after she’d brought the steaks through that the evening began to turn sour. He asked her for money.
‘Just a loan,’ he added hastily. ‘For a deposit on the dual control cars.’
Momentarily thrown, Pam didn’t immediately reply.
So Dez continued. ‘I’ve tried to source them second-hand, but there’s nothing decent out there. And I can’t start a driving school without cars, can I?’ he explained jokily. ‘I’ve raised most of the money, but I’m twenty grand short.’
‘Twenty grand!’ erupted Pam. I’d struggle to lend him twenty quid, especially after shelling out for the dinner.
‘I’d pay you back within a few months, once the school is up and running,’ he promised.
‘I’m sorry,’ stammered Pam, ‘but I can’t possibly lend you that sort of money. I just haven’t got it.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ he scoffed, ‘you’ve got all this!’ He swept his arm round grandly to indicate the house and, presumably, its contents.
Mildly resenting the need to explain, Pam outlined her financial situation to Dez. ‘Only half the house is mine, and everything’s tied up until Geoff and I are divorced. At which point I’ll have to sell up and buy a flat or something. And right now I’m struggling to make ends meet. Why do you think I take in lodgers?’ she asked him. Then, suddenly struck by how preposterous it was that Dez should think she was a wealthy woman, she started laughing, as much from nerves as amusement.
Dez slammed his right fist down on the table so violently the cutlery leapt up off the surface. Startled, Pam jumped, her hand instinctively flying to her throat, instantly, frighteningly aware that she was alone in the house, apart from Dez.
‘Don’t you dare laugh at me,’ he shouted.
She forced herself to stay calm, and not reveal the fear rising inside her. Trying to picture Dez as a tantrum-throwing toddler, she thumped both of her fists on the table, just as violently as he had, then replied coolly, but in a tone sharp enough to cut glass, ‘Don’t you raise your voice to me at my table.’
He seemed momentarily confounded. Clearly he hadn’t expected her to come back at him like this.
‘Then don’t take me for a fool, Pam. With this amount of equity you can easily raise twenty grand. And you know it.’
Pam had absolutely no idea whether that was true or not. Nor did she care.
‘Get out,’ she ordered, willing her voice not to tremble, and keeping her fists clenched to shop her hands shaking.
He didn’t move, merely sat there eyeballing her, as if he were wondering whether he could gamble on pushing it, or whether he’d completely blown it.
She made it perfectly clear to him. Rising to her feet, slowly, magnificently, and with enormous self-control she said with icy calm, ‘Get out of my house now, or I will call the police.’
He tried one more roll of the dice. ‘If I go,’ he threatened. ‘I won’t come back. That’s it, we’ll be done.’
‘We’re done, full stop,’ she informed him.
He stood up and turned to go, then, with flash of childish petulance, he snatched the still half-full bottle of red wine off the table and stormed out. Moments later, she heard the front door slam and through the dining room window she watched him climb into his car and drive off, the wheels furiously spewing up the gravel on the driveway.
She rushed to the front door, but only to slip the latch down behind him. Then she locked the back door in the kitchen and the French doors in the living room, and then she raced round the whole house, fastening all the windows, even the upstairs ones. It was only then that the fear properly kicked in. Her legs trembled so violently she had to cling onto the bannister rail to get back down the stairs, and her hands shook so much she could barely hold the phone steady enough to call Zee. Her old friend promptly dropped everything and rushed over.
‘Has he got a key?’ was Zee’s immediate concern. Pam shook her head, so Zee said brightly, ‘Well, at least you won’t have to change the locks!’
Pam managed a wry smile at her friend’s attempt to lighten her mood but her shoulders slumped as she said in a small voice, ‘I’ve been a bloody fool, haven’t I?’
Zee pulled a noncommittal face. ‘You won’t be the first one to be taken in by a gold-digger, and you won’t be the last,’ she told her philosophically.
While waiting for Zee to arrive, Pam had cleared away the supper things and tided the table in the dining room, shoving the tablecloth and napkins into the washing machine. The candlesticks and flowers had seemed to mock her, so she’d closed the door on them. She’d kept her wine glass and she and Zee were now settled on the sofa in the living room, a bottle of white wine on the coffee table in front of them. Zee topped up Pam’s glass, which was emptying more quickly than usual.
After a while Pam confessed sorrowfully, and with painful honesty, ‘I think I knew all along he had some ulterior motive for being interested in me.’
Zee regarded her sympathetically, but didn’t reply, her silence inviting Pam to open up.
‘But I ignored the warning bells. I stuck it out for the wrong reasons, because I didn’t want to be alone.’
‘That’s not a crime,’ said Zee gently.
‘And because I wanted to get back at Geoff, wanted to show him that I could get someone too.’
‘That’s even more understandable.’
‘Except he didn’t really want me at all, did he? Just my money.’
‘Well, more fool him,’ said Zee. Pam gave her close friend a warm look, comforted by her loyalty until, with perfect comic timing, Zee added, ‘Because you haven’t damn well got any!’
Pam managed a laugh and Zee filled both of their glasses again.
‘Are you driving?’ warned Pam, eyeing Zee’s drink.
Zee shook her head. ‘I thought I’d stay the night. Bunk down in one of the boys’ rooms,’ she said casually.
Zee had never stayed over before, none of her friends had. Pam was moved, and grateful. She hadn’t savoured the thought of being alone.
‘Don’t be too hard on yourself, Pam. The man’s a… a total shit.’
An audible gasp escaped Pam, who was shocked to hear such an extreme expletive from her old friend.
‘He’s probably tried it on with a lot of other women too. These people are very credible.’
Although Pam knew Zee was trying to make her feel better, somehow lumping her together with other gullible women made her feel even more stupid. It bruised her pride to think she wasn’t smart enough to see through a cheap conman plying one of the oldest tricks in the book. ‘Don’t tell anyone,’ she pleaded. ‘I don’t want it getting back to Geoff.’
‘I won’t,’ promised Zee. ‘But it wouldn’t, anyway. We’re all still too damn angry with him to give him that satisfaction.’
There was a beat before Pam said in a quiet voice, ‘The thing is, Zee, he didn’t fool me. I fooled myself.’
‘Maybe,’ Zee shrugged lightly, ‘but we all do that. We all kid ourselves things are how we want them to be rather than how they really are.’ Pam wondered if Zee was referring to her own marriage. ‘Ah well, there’s no fool like an old fool,’ finished Zee teasingly.
‘How very dare you! Fool, yes, old, no!’
Then Pam remembered the chocolate mocha pots and the bottle of dessert wine chilling in the fridge. The two old friends demolished the puddings and then sat drinking into the small hours, and when the wine ran out, they hit the gin. Which turned out to be a very, very bad idea.