CHAPTER FOUR

‘Matt!’ she gasped. In his dark clothes he merged with the shadows. She couldn’t see his face, but surely that was Matt’s voice? For a brief moment she contested this thought, wondering if her mind was playing tricks and it was Tony. But no! Tony’s approach was always heralded by the thump of his crutches. ‘Matt,’ she repeated weakly, and her heart began to thud. ‘You . . .you startled me.’

‘Sorry. My intention was to surprise, not startle. I spotted you in my headlights as I pulled into the drive.’

‘It was you in that car?’

‘Yes. Except that it isn’t a car. It’s a truck. I had a delivery to make in Marseilles. Mother is having a room prepared for me. You looked inviting standing there in your white dress. I thought I’d join you. What are you doing out here, all by yourself?’

‘I have a bit of a headache. I was hoping the fresh air would clear it.’

‘Been overdoing the sun?’ he queried, taking a step forward, his hands going up to her neck. His thumbs rested in the hollows at her throat; his strong fingers curved to her neck and gently massaged, lifting the tight knots and taking the tension into his own fingertips. Then one hand went to the back of her neck and the other captured her chin, twisting it gently from side to side. Her neck gave a small protesting creak, then moved freely. ‘That better?’

‘Yes, thank you. It feels . . .wonderful.’

‘You know I’m going to kiss you, don’t you?’

‘Please don’t, Matt.’

‘You don’t really mean that.’

‘I do. This isn’t fair to Tony.’

‘Are you still persisting in that nonsense?’

‘If you mean am I still going to marry him, the answer is yes, as soon as it’s possible. You only got the wedding delayed. You haven’t put it off permanently.’

‘I? I had nothing to do with getting Tony drunk, so drunk he was incapable of looking after himself and behaved like an irresponsible fool.’

‘No? I know you didn’t intend him to fall down those stairs, but you had a hand in the other. You encouraged him to drink more than was good for him. That’s one accusation I will not withdraw. Because you did! The smirk on your face when I came round to see Tony and you told me that when you’d left him he looked as if he’d take a week to sober up is something I’ll never forget. I’ll never forgive you.’

‘You have a vivid imagination.’

‘I know you, Matt.’

‘And I know you, apparently better than you know yourself. You idiot, you wouldn’t be happy if you married Tony.’

‘When I find out, I’ll let you know.’

‘Why you goading little . . .’ The fingers still clutching her chin tightened their hold. Her chin wasn’t released until his mouth was firmly planted on hers, forcing her head back with such ferocity that she thought her neck would have snapped but for the hand supporting it.

Even in the height of her indignation, she exhilarated in the sweet brutality of that kiss. No one could move her like this. She came alive for him.

When he finally released her, he said, ‘You wanted that as much as I did.’

To her deep chagrin and shame, that was the undeniable truth.

‘I think we’d better go in now,’ he said. ‘I still have to change. But first, for what it’s worth, this doesn’t suit me any more than it does you. You’re my weakness, Zoe. I don’t like it.’

‘You found the strength to stay away from me for five years.’

‘That’s not strictly true. I tried to look you up. I drew a blank. I discovered that you’d changed your address and your job.’

‘You didn’t look very hard. You could have found me if your wanted to badly enough.’

‘Fair comment. It would be untrue to say I’ve spent all that time pining for you. But I’ve thought of you. That last time—well, you don’t need me to tell you that things got steamy between us. I would have come back if circumstances had permitted. I admit that before that night I’d looked on you as a bit of a kid.’

‘Whose head was turned by the money you flung around,’ she spat angrily.

‘I’m not used to people liking me for myself. I’ve often wondered if I would have got that far with you if I got my hands dirty by filling someone else’s pocket.

‘I feel sorry for you. It must be horrible to have such a jaundiced outlook.’

‘Keep your sympathy. That’s something I’d no intention of having then, and I won’t tolerate it now.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘I fight fair. That’s what,’ he said bitterly, taking her elbow and turning her in the direction of the house.

He would have guided her straight into the room from which the sound of Hannah’s and Tony’s voices were coming had she not drawn away at the bottom of the stairs. ‘I’d better go up and check on my lipstick before going in. I’ll be like lightning.’

She was true to her word and didn’t dawdle. She merely ran a comb through her hair and a lip gloss across her mouth.

Her predinner sherry was waiting for her when she got back down. She saw with relief that Hannah and Tony had only just started theirs.

‘I hope I’m not holding things up?’ she inquired stupidly. Obviously she wasn’t. Matt wouldn’t have had time to get back after changing into something more formal than the clothes he’d traveled in. Because what had happened out there in the garden was burning in her brain, she wondered how Hannah and Tony could not know. Which was equally ridiculous.

‘Not at all. We’re waiting for Matt. Even though I half expected it, it was still a wonderful surprise when he walked in, unannounced—just as I said it would be.’ Hannah’s quizzical eyes lifted briefly from Zoe’s to look beyond her head, lighting up with affection as they did so. ‘Here he is now.’

Casting Matt a cool look, Zoe crossed the room to sit by Tony’s side. Somehow she had to establish her allegiance.

‘Did you have a good trip down?’ Tony asked. Although it was a civil enough inquiry, Zoe detected a slight edge to his voice.

‘He had company,’ Hannah supplied.

‘That’s right,’ Matt verified. He seemed to be looking straight at Zoe, but she supposed that he could have been looking at Tony. ‘I brought Camille with me. When I mentioned that I was coming, she asked me if I’d give her a lift.’

Zoe registered that. So he was seeing Camille.

‘In the cab of the truck, mind,’ Hannah said with a laugh. ‘That crazy girl would ride on a shovel for Matt.’

What girl wouldn’t? Zoe speculated, looking unhappily down at her hands, but not before she’d seen the amused lift of Matt’s mouth, which cruelly mocked her.

As the evening progressed she wondered if either Hannah or Tony knew of the beneath-the-surface crosscurrents. The tide of feeling between her and Matt was such that it pulled her eyes until they ached in their sockets; she couldn’t seem to drag her gaze from his face for any reasonable length of time. She hoped the others weren’t aware of that. Hannah was full of joy at having her son there. Tony was back in top garrulous form. Strange, she had never noticed before that he talked a lot but said little. Not like Matt, who used words economically, so that when he opened his mouth everyone listened.

For what it was worth, she saw that the thing between her and Matt wasn’t one way. She was conscious of Matt’s eyes shifting back to her again and again. She didn’t like the concentration on her lips, as if to remind her of that recent forbidden kiss. She wanted to scrub her hand across her mouth to rub out the torrid memory. It didn’t help her to know that his mocking amusement increased on a par with her discomfort.

It was Hannah who said, ‘You’re unusually quiet this evening, Zoe. Are you not feeling well?’

‘Truthfully, I’m not my normal self. I think I’m paying the price of vanity.’

‘You?’ her hostess queried in disbelief.

‘I wanted to quicken up the tanning process, so I might have sunbathed too long.’

‘Ah, most unwise. You must be more careful in future.’

‘One learns by one’s mistakes. I intend to be.’ She averted her gaze from Hannah’s face to meet those compelling black eyes again. ‘Will anyone mind if I break up the party? I think I’ll go to bed.’

‘Of course not, Zoe. I don’t intend to wait too long before I turn in myself. Run along, child,’ Hannah said.

‘Goodnight, Hannah. Goodnight, Matt.’ Zoe bent to kiss Tony. He let her and then grinned impishly as he said, ‘An early night wouldn’t come amiss for me, either.’ He scooped up his crutches and accompanied her out of the room.

Zoe carefully closed the door behind them, glad to be out of range of Matt’s vision. At the bottom of the stairs she turned. ‘Goodnight again, Tony.’

‘Don’t go straight up. Come and look at the stars from my bedroom window.’

He had already hinted at something like this, but this was the first time he’d come out with the direct suggestion. Odd that he’d waited until Matt’s arrival to do so.

‘Have you forgotten that your room happens to be right next to your grandmother’s?’

‘No. And neither have I forgotten that we’re engaged.’

‘Tony . . . I. . .’

‘I know. You’re feeling wretched. That’s obvious just from looking at you. I can tell that you’re not putting it on. I’m being inconsiderate, aren’t I?’

‘Well . . . I . . .’ Zoe felt awful about making him feel guilty. The shame was all hers. She was horrified at her glibness in covering up. It wasn’t the ultraviolet rays of the sun that were responsible for the way she felt. She had a great need to unburden herself to Tony—but what could she say? If Matt had been a secret from her past, something that was dead and buried, it would have been difficult to explain but not impossible. What made it virtually impossible was her awareness of Matt now. She couldn’t very well say, ‘I was infatuated with your uncle when I was a silly nineteen-year-old and knew no better—and nothing’s changed, except that I’m five years older, because I’m as madly attracted to him as ever.’

Surely, when she was safely married to Tony, everything would be all right? She pulled herself up sharply. Safely married to Tony? That sounded as though she was viewing marriage merely as a way to escape from her own weakness.

‘If only I hadn’t been so stupid,’ Tony said, the floor receiving an aggressive thump from his crutch.

In repentance at the thought that skidded across her mind, that in one way she was glad of the enforced postponement of their wedding, Zoe slid her arms round his waist and snuggled close. Tony leaned his second crutch against the newel post to free his hand to go round Zoe and bring her closer still. He was not inexperienced. His kiss was both expert and ardent. When it kindled no answering response in her she told herself fiercely that it was because she wasn’t in the mood. There was a light in his eyes which told her that he was—very much so. He was still hankering for her to go to his room with him.

Very firmly she said, ‘Goodnight, Tony.’

She knew she was falling short of what he had a right to expect from his fiancée, and the disappointment on his face made her heart ache slightly.

He crooked a finger under her chin, and this time his kiss gave warm pleasure and asked nothing of her. ‘Goodnight, Zoe.’

She turned and went up the stairs. Not until she rounded the curve and was out of his sight did she hear the thud of his crutches as he made his way to his room.

She sat on the bed meditating for endless moments. It was quite a while before she kicked off her sandals and reached her arms up round her neck to unfasten her pendant—and discovered that she was no longer wearing it. Oh, no! Her distress as she wondered when she could have lost it was acute, and disproportionate. It was no good trying to fool herself that her torment wasn’t because Matt had given it to her.

She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep until she’d tried to find it. She slid her feet back into her sandals and retraced her steps downstairs. There was no sign of it anywhere on the stairs, or in the downstairs rooms, which were now also empty of the other occupants. Obviously everyone had decided to follow her lead and go to bed.

She knew that she had definitely put the pendant on before coming down the first time, but now that she thought about it she couldn’t remember seeing it round her neck when she went up again to retouch her makeup after that encounter with Matt in the garden. Of course! She remembered—rather too vividly for her peace of mind—the way Matt had massaged and manipulated her neck to ease her headache. That’s when it must have come loose.

She let herself out the door and followed the path she had taken earlier, stopping at the spot where she had stood with Matt.

‘We’ll have to stop meeting like this,’ a voice said.

‘Matt!’ She swung round, shrieking his name in frustration at the ill fate that had brought about this second confrontation. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Taking a much-needed breath of air. Thinking what a pity it was I wasn’t sharing the moment with a suitable companion . . . and here you are,’ he said with dry mockery.

‘I didn’t come in search of you, if that’s what you’re thinking.’

‘No?’

‘No. I’ve lost my pendant. The one you bought me to wear for the wedding . . . for my wedding to Tony,’ she emphasized. ‘I was wearing it earlier this evening. I thought it might be here, so I came to look.’

‘I’d suggest that we look for it together, except that in this light it might be a bit like looking for a needle in a haystack. Not being a smoker, I carry neither a cigarette lighter nor matches. But I’m forgetting; knowing the mission you were on, you would have come better prepared.’

‘No, I . . . I didn’t think,’ she said, dropping to her knees and combing the ground with her fingers, feeling foolish and angry. Foolish because she hadn’t thought to come equipped with a flashlight, and angry with him for what he obviously thought—for his arrogant assumption in thinking that she had seen him leave the house from her bedroom window, which did happen to look out on this part of the garden, and had made up the excuse of losing her pendant so she could follow him.

He bent to take an elbow in each hand and eased her back up. ‘It’s useless, Zoe. If it’s here, it will come to no harm. I promise to look for it for you first thing in the morning.’

‘It is here. At least’—she bit her lip—‘I don’t know that for certain, but it’s possible that it may be.’

‘Yes, yes, of course.’

‘Stop humoring me. Why won’t you believe me?’

‘I do believe you, Zoe.’

‘I’m being honest about this,’ she insisted.

‘So am I. Honest in admitting that we’re two of a kind.’

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘We both like playing with fire.’

‘You might. I don’t,’ she denied.

‘Come off it. You were playing with fire when you got entangled with Tony.

‘What are you talking about? And I’m not entangled with Tony. That sounds insulting. I’m engaged to him.’

‘Yes. And I’m wondering why. Why you ever looked at him in the first place. In case you feel coy about enlarging on that, I’ll do it for you. You knew that it would eventually lead you back to me. I don’t believe that Tony’s chief attractions were his good looks and boyish charm. What drew you to him was his relationship to me. Did you get involved with him—I’ll say involved, as you seem ill at ease with the word “entangled”—to get back at me? Or back with me? Which, Zoe? You knew that at some time or another we would be bound to meet again through him—in circumstances much like this.’

‘I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life,’ she said, her voice shrill with indignation. ‘I was attracted to Tony for himself from the beginning. The one drawback was his close relationship to you. I thought he might turn out to be as horrid as you are. Thankfully, that fear has so far proved to be groundless. Tony’s manner has always been kind and gracious, his behavior impeccable. I couldn’t wish for a gentler, more considerate, or more understanding fiancé.’

‘Kind, gracious, gentle, considerate . . . you make him sound like a milksop. Are those the qualities you really want in a husband? As for understanding, that’s a laugh. You found him so understanding that you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that his own uncle had very nearly been there first.’

‘How crude. Have you thought that I might not have said anything out of consideration for you? Assuming that Tony has some respect for you, perhaps I didn’t want to destroy it. You’ve had a lot of fun in the past in telling me that you were too much of a man for me. You’ve asked for this, Matt Hunter. Would a man of honor have behaved as you did?’

‘You were nineteen. That’s not such a child.’ Despite that, she knew by the tone of his voice that she had got to him, that he didn’t like to think that he’d taken unfair advantage.

There was a stiffness about his shoulders that told of the fury he was desperately trying to suppress. He half turned, and for a moment she thought he was going to walk away. It was that supposition that held her motionless and made her an easy target for the arms that came round her, bringing her body up close to his. She was too taken by surprise to protest, and then his mouth was on hers, hard and sweet, draining the desire to do so, firing her blood with a contrary craving for the kiss never to end.

She knew that she didn’t have the physical strength to free herself. If she was to gain her release it had to be by other means. The best her spinning brain could come up with was to be a rag doll in his arms, and so she fought to keep her responses in check. She must not let him know how exquisitely he brought her to life. She played dead, her arms remaining by her sides, her lips tightly compressed to shut him out. She had no control over the fast beating of her heart, the thudding pulse his lips came down on as they moved briefly to her temple before returning to possess her mouth. That hardly mattered. That wildness wasn’t a giveaway; it could easily be taken for anger.

But it came to her that she was fighting a desperate, losing battle. Because he believed that she had come out on a pretext, that this was what she really wanted, he battered her resistance down degree by subtle degree. When his initial ardent assault failed to achieve its object, the hands binding her to his hips unlocked their steely grip, throwing the emotions pounding beneath the cool façade she was still valiantly trying to preserve into wild disorder. One tangled in her hair; the other drew circles of fire over her shoulder blades before descending along the bumpy column of her spine to her waist. His light, seductive fingerplay teased the entire area of flesh exposed by the low cut of her dress; then his mouth brushed hers, an insouciant feather touch that left her wanting him to show her his former depth of passion. Devious Matt. Because when that passion returned it was greeted with a welcoming moan, a sigh that rose tremulously from a throat that arched of its own volition to accept his kiss.

She melted against him as his lips turned hers to fire, destroying her last defense. Her arms wound helplessly round his lean waist as the scorching passion burnt through her mouth to her mind, igniting her nerve ends and sending a fierce throb of delight through her body. At the same time the intensity of her own desire made itself known as a physical ache that wouldn’t be evicted until it had been appeased.

She tasted the salt tears of shame at the back of her throat and recklessly swallowed them back. All that mattered was the pleasure he was giving her as his lips alternately crushed and treasured hers and his hands adored and delighted her receptive flesh. His finger stroked down from her cheek, outlined her jaw, and came down her throat and along her collarbone, pausing to hook under her shoulder strap and bring it down her arm.

He groaned. ‘The low back of your dress has driven me crazy all evening . . . wondering.’

‘And now you know,’ she said, her voice going husky as he traced a delicate line over the upper swell before his hand closed fully over her naked breast.

Expectation hardened the rosy bud even before it knew the abrasive ecstasy of his gently rotating fingers. She sobbed her love moans into his neck, her teeth nipping his flesh, expressing her joy and inciting a more ardent, less delicate caress. It was inflammatory. Her lashes dropped over her passion-glazed eyes, and she sighed as his lips glided silkily down her throat, covering it with molten fire as he tasted her skin, slowly and methodically, savoring every inch of the tantalizingly slow descent until his mouth took the tingling tip of her breast into custody and the molten fire swept lower as her stomach curled up in intense sexual excitement.

‘You’re so warm and desirable.’ His voice shivered against her hairline for a brief moment before her head was driven back by an explosive, exploring kiss that was almost an act of possession in itself.

The hand low on her back locked them together, but even without that her compulsion to be near to him would have held her there. The rock-hard masculinity of his body, his vigor and his strength were as exciting as they were tantalizing. She had thought that only men fantasized, that lust was strictly a male prerogative, something that was not to be entertained by a nicely brought up woman. A man had to have a woman to fulfill a physical necessity; a woman gave herself out of love. But it wasn’t always so, she realized in that exhilarating moment. She wanted Matt as intensely as she knew that he wanted her. She imagined what it would be like to be this close to him without the barrier of clothes, to lie with him hip to hip and drown in bliss in his arms. Why not? . . .

With slow precision he brought her shoulder strap back up again. His arm curved round the back of her waist as he walked her out from beneath the canopy of trees. When they moved out of the shade, the stars seemed to her to be particularly luminous. The night was magic. The warm scented air stroked her skin, shivering it with remembered sensations. Every place that Matt’s roving hands had touched was still astir with feeling; all sorts of frenzied activity seemed to be going on just below the surface of her skin.

Zoe could have reached her bedroom via the outside staircase and long balcony, but she automatically went into the house with Matt, who locked up and put out the lights.

‘I’m just down the passage from you,’ he said as they went up the stairs together.

‘Oh.’ She had wondered.

There was a question in his eyes which she didn’t have the answer for. The little, yet so big, ‘Why not?’ haunted her mind, pinched her senses, the backs of her eyes, accelerated her heartbeat, and made breathing a challenge. Then suddenly the pinching feeling at the backs of her eyes became a humiliation of tears. She knew why not. Of all the many becauses, one should have jumped instantly into her mind. In fact, the haunting ‘Why not?’ should never have entered her mind in the first place because of it. She lifted her hand to her face, scraping her ring across her cheek, digging the sharp edge of the diamond cluster into it as punishment. Because she was engaged to Tony.

Matt didn’t miss that very revealing gesture. The question left his eyes to be replaced by an unattractive smile of arrogance and contempt that mocked her self-denial. Arrogance because he knew how severely tempted she had been, how much she hadn’t wanted the incident to end with merely a kiss, and the contempt possibly for the same reason. He didn’t look as though he was suffering. It hurt as much as anything that he didn’t seem all that bothered that he wouldn’t be coming in with her.

‘Pity about the pendant. I shouldn’t lose any sleep over it if I were you. I’m sure it will turn up,’ he scoffed.

‘I’m sure it will,’ she retorted. ‘Most likely in the garden, where I said I’d lost it.’

‘Are you quite certain you were wearing it this evening?’

‘Of course I am. I distinctly remember putting it on.’

‘I suppose you know best. The odd thing is, I can’t recall seeing it round your neck.’

‘Well, it was there, I assure you. I know what you’re getting at, but you’re way off the mark. I didn’t make up the story of losing my pendant as an excuse to join you. I have lost it.’ She opened her door, meaning to fling herself haughtily through it and slam it in his grinning face. Only a glint of gold and a flash of sapphire held her motionless.

Matt walked past her, crossed over to the dressing table where the pendant lay, and picked it up.

‘How did it get there?’ Zoe gasped incredulously. ‘I put it on. I know I did,’ she said in angry exasperation.

‘Perhaps you lost it before you came down. Obviously it couldn’t have jumped from the floor, where it must have fallen, to the dressing table. So, say Yvette came in—to turn down the bed or something or other—and saw it lying on the floor; naturally she would pick it up and put it on the dressing table for you to find.’

‘Yes, that’s what must have happened,’ Zoe said, grasping eagerly at the explanation.

‘To make that fit, the clasp would have to be loose, wouldn’t you agree?’

‘I agree,’ she said savagely, hating the way he was testing her. ‘Look at it for yourself.’

‘Thank you. It would have been ungallant to do so without your permission. Mm, let me see.’ It was a spring clasp and from where Zoe stood, when he snapped it shut it seemed to be secure. ‘No . . .’ The hateful mockery was back in his eyes. ‘It seems to be okay. It is pretty. I must say, I do have good taste.’ But as he spoke he wasn’t looking at the pendant. His eyes scintillated over her face.

He handed it back to her, and she examined the clasp for herself. It was perfectly all right. When she’d put it on her thoughts had gone naturally to Matt because he had given it to her, and she’d been agitated because of that. She couldn’t have been attentive enough to what she was doing and so she hadn’t fastened it properly, but nothing would convince Matt that she hadn’t told him a lie to explain why she joined him in the garden.

‘Think what you like,’ she said aggressively, ‘only just get out.’

He took hold of her jaw. His thumb lay in the indentation between her chin and lower lip before stroking along its softly curving fullness. ‘You don’t need an excuse, Zoe. Whatever the time, wherever I am, if the urge takes you, just come.’

With that he sauntered out, leaving Zoe choking on anger, humiliation, shame, and frustration.