HEALTH AND SAFETY

Globe-trotting is safer than you think, and arming yourself with awareness is your best defense against bugs and thugs abroad. You can’t protect yourself from every incident, but you can take precautions that will help keep your trip worry-free. Using common sense, washing your hands, and being aware of your surroundings goes along way. Here are more specific things we have learned on the road.

HEALTH

IMMUNIZATIONS, DISEASE, AND PARASITES

Generally, places that are least developed are most prone to disease; tropical areas have some nasty bugs (like worms that swim into your pisser), and the world water supply isn’t always microbe-free. As a liability catchall, certain areas in the world have been flagged by the United States as “no-go” health zones to deter Americans from traveling there, but that doesn’t mean they’re actually impossible (or super dangerous) to explore. As long as you have the proper gear and knowledge, there’s no need to let the fear-mongers stop you from going anywhere in the world.

SHOOT UP BEFORE YOU HEAD OUT

Depending on where you’re headed, you might need to be inoculated against parasites or diseases, particularly in developing countries. To find out which vaccinations are required to visit any country, go to the Cdc.gov, the Centers for Disease Control website. If you want a second opinion, check out the British Foreign and Commonwealth Office (Fco .gov.uk) for their vaccination suggestions, as well.

WATER IS IMPORTANT, BUT BEWARE

Water with microscopic nasties can turn your globe-trotting into a long visit with the crapper. Unless you like impromptu colonics, we suggest you stick to bottled water and avoid ice cubes in drinks when in developing countries. Just drinking booze the entire time will help you avoid the bugs, but might not be so great for staying hydrated (or avoiding cirrhosis). The water in most places in Europe is generally safe, but no matter where you go, read up on what the water situation is for that country.

HEALTH CARE VARIES

You might be pleasantly surprised at the quality of health care available in many places and horrified at others. Some medicines that require prescriptions in the United States are over-the-counter abroad and vice versa. (For instance, topical steroids such as cortisone often need a prescription in other countries, but you can stock up on Viagra without a doctor’s note.) There are some areas where meds are hard to come by, so be prepared with common travel antibiotics and a decent first-aid kit. Having some rubbers with you never hurts.

READ UP ON WHAT THE LOCALS KNOW

Following Twitter feeds, reading blogs, and checking out expat forums are all good ways to find out critical information on staying disease-free during your travels. Finding out the scoop from people who live in these areas will give you a heads-up on what’s safe and what isn’t. For example, when traveling around the sub-Saharan tropics (and some parts of tropical Central and South America), ironing all of your clothes (including your dainties) will kill eggs from the Putzi (or Tumbu) fly, which burrows into your skin.

TRAVEL CLINICS

Travel clinics are the Zen masters of getting you inoculated against the world of internal creepy-crawlies. These are places where doctors specifically see patients who will be traveling, particularly to developing countries, and are a great resource for both getting in good health before your trip and stocking up on info to keep you healthy while abroad. Find your local travel clinic and chat with the doctor about eight weeks before your trip, as some immunizations and meds need time to kick in. If you have insurance, check to see what’s covered.

The medical staff will have a lot of questions to ask you about your travels, so try to get at least some of your plans straightened out before you give them a visit. Focus on figuring out which countries you will hit and for how long (the length of your stay sometimes dictates your level of risk and changes the vaccines you may need). Read up on the immunizations suggested for your specific country on the CDC website, and make sure you let the doc know about any current ailments. Once all of your preventative measures are in order, talk to your doctor about getting antibiotics for the road. Fill all your current prescriptions with extras to cover the time you’re traveling (remember the liquid carry-on limitations for things like liquid meds and saline solution). You may need to start some regimens (e.g., malaria pills) a few days before you depart. Keep copies of your immunization records with you during your trip.

FIRST AID AND MEDICATIONS

While most countries have well-stocked local pharmacies, it can be a pain trying to find what you want or need, particularly when there is a language barrier and especially if you’re not feeling your best. Here are a few of the essentials to take with you for quick fixes on the go.

OVER-THE-COUNTER ESSENTIALS

You can MacGyver yourself into relatively good health using the list of items below. For the heavier stuff, always bring your original prescription in case there’s a dispute at the border—but things like diabetic insulin, birth control, allergy, and asthma inhalers should be fine.

Antibacterial hand sanitizer

Ibuprofen, acetaminophen, and/or naproxen

Sunscreen

Lip balm

Bug spray

Band-Aids/blister plasters like Compeed

Neosporin

Imodium A-D/Pepto Bismol

Preparation H

Sleeping/anxiety pills

Condoms

Thermometer

Antinausea/motion-sickness pills

Aloe or lidocaine

FOOD

As with water, food around the world contains different things that can shoot through you faster than a hot knife through butter. It’s not a pretty thought, but it’s worse to be unprepared when you feel the familiar (and painful) gut gurgling begin. Besides the obvious, prolonged diarrhea can cause dehydration, malnutrition, and major discomfort. Treat yourself to authentic food joints, but remember that your body needs time to acclimate to all of the new foods you’re shoveling in. If you pile on days of eating unfamiliar foods, your body will rebel against you.

MOSQUITOES

Sharks and Chuck Norris ain’t got shit on mosquitoes, the deadliest creature in the world and responsible for over one million deaths annually. In the States, these guys are just biters, but overseas they can be lethal, or, at the very least, make your life miserable for days—if not longer. Mosquitoes can carry malaria, the Zika virus, dengue fever, encephalitis, and yellow fever, among other grizzly shit. If you’re going to a tropical area with known mosquito issues, you’ll need clothing that will cover you from head to toe and some serious repellant. If you’re really hoofing it into the jungle, bring mosquito netting to sleep safely. And talk to the doctor about antimalarials—people from all over the world die every day from malaria transmitted by mosquitoes. They might be tiny, but they’re serious.

TRAVEL INSURANCE

If shit hits the fan, having travel insurance is a good backup plan. It’s basically protection for when “what if” turns into reality. The issue with insurance is that we never know if—or when—those risks will materialize, and it’s pretty likely you’ll buy insurance and never use it, which can feel like you’ve wasted some hard-earned dough. So what do you do?

Well, here’s the deal: you know that traveling poses higher risks in all regards, health and safety being two risks that dominate the pool. Buying insurance can help ease your mind. For example, if you need to be immediately evacuated back home for treatment, you will be covered. Oftentimes, insurance will cover theft of almost anything and even the annoying accidents that happen along the way, like dropping your phone into the Seine while trying to get a photo. Think about your worst-case scenario and how much that would cost … and then decide if you want to get insurance. Check out WorldNomads.com and TravelGuard.com for some quotes and see what is covered. If you’re worried about theft, accidents, or other trip interruptions, make sure those are included in your policy.

KEEPING YOUR JUNK SPOTLESS

When you’re living the backpacking dream, your daily itinerary can include things like cliff jumping, dive-bar crawling, and hostel fornicating. The last thing on your mind is genital hygiene. But there comes a time when your junk could really use some personal attention, and there’s more to protecting your goods than not touching your wiener with curry-hands. While none of us are doctors, we all definitely have genitalia, and here is what we know about keeping your tools tidy while traveling.

KEEP IT CLEAN

The backpacking community is notorious for random hookups. With so many players in the game, it’s important to make sure your equipment is clean and odor-free. Keep the home runs coming with regular showers. Just don’t wash yourself raw—scrubbing too hard can cause infection. While your inner-hippie might be tempted to let your pubes grow wild, bear in mind that longer hair means more bacterial growth, which leads to funkier smells. In less-developed countries, getting a wax can be insanely cheap. Take advantage of it and go for that lightning bolt landing strip you’ve always wanted.

Ladies: the tighter your panties (or pants), the higher your risk of getting a yeast infection. Stick to cotton underwear, or if you’re feeling ballsy, go commando. Bidets are a norm in lots of countries, so use these magic inventions to give your kitty an extragood cleaning (or to make her purr if the water pressure’s good). Stay away from douches though—like overscrubbing, these can also cause infection.

OTP Tip: Baby wipes are superhandy for cleaning up more than babies.

PLAY IT SAFE

Backpackers are an adventurous bunch—especially in the sack—but don’t get carried away and ride bareback. No matter how good your traveler’s insurance is, the only coverage for avoiding an STD is to always wrap it up. It takes two to screw—girls should carry condoms, as well. Keep in mind that the risks are different across the world and that not all STDs are visible. Before getting on the plane at all, get tested. Not only is it good karma, but you can also get properly treated for any infections at home instead of at some shady clinic in rural South America.

WHERE TO GET THE GOODS

It’s not a bad idea to pick up a big box of condoms at home—it’ll be a hell of a lot lighter than the consequences of going without. If you opt to buy them abroad, pick a brand you’ve heard of and check the expiration date. You’ll be able to find them in just about any drugstore, or if you’re on a really tight budget, ask around for clinics or hostels that give them away for free. In some countries, it’s frowned upon (or even illegal) for a lady to buy a condom, so look up condom laws before you go. In some cities in the Philippines, for example, no one can buy a condom without a prescription.

UTIS (URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS)

These are much more common in women than men. On the road, people tend to get dehydrated from frequent movement and avoidance of contaminated water. Combine this with grimier conditions, and you got yourself a Grade A UTI. Point is: drink lots of water. If you can’t find bottled water, use water treatment tablets, which kill most of the evil bastards that will give you the shits and nervous giggles. Pee as often as possible, even if it means popping a squat in a nearby bush. Holding it keeps bacteria trapped in your system and can lead to UTIs. If you’re prone, get your doctor to prescribe a course of antibiotics before you go, just in case.

BIRTH CONTROL

If you’re a pill-popper, get your prescription filled before leaving and make sure it’s enough for the whole trip. Keep an alarm set to the time back home so you know exactly when to take it upon arrival—it can get confusing with time-zone changes and long-ass flights. Taking the pill can be a pain when you’re on the road, so consider switching to another form of birth control such as the NuvaRing, Depo-Provera, or the patch. Traveler’s antibiotics (like the antimalarial doxycycline) can make the pill less effective, another reason bring rubber backup.

IN CASE OF AN ACCIDENT

Shit happens. Oral contraceptives can fail, and condoms can slip or break, turning a sloppy one-night stand in Barcelona into a Knocked Up-style fiasco. Luckily, the morning-after pill (emergency contraception or EC) is now available in over 140 countries. Check out what EC is available by country before you go, including what’s sold over the counter. Remember that EC is only effective for 120 hours (five days) after an accident, and the longer you wait, the less powerful it is. If you’re too late for the morning-after pill and can’t handle a kid yet, look up the nearest family planning clinic and see what your options are for an abortion. Since abortion is illegal in many places, you may have to travel to another country or return home early.

SAFETY

Every country has different levels of general safety (i.e., likelihood of you getting robbed or hurt). While major crimes do happen, it’s unlikely you’ll be held up at gunpoint. As fun as a good pistol-whipping might sound, backpackers are normally seen as targets for petty theft and small-time crime. The things working against you:

Your huge, necessary-but-obvious back-pack.

Petty criminals are well aware of the fact that backpackers will have more cash on them than most locals. One stereotype (among many others) about Americans abroad is that they’re rich.

You will look (and will sometimes be) lost, especially if you’re unfolding and looking at a giant map.

You don’t speak the language.

You sleep in train stations (or on trains), on buses, or on beaches to save money—or because you’re damn tired from recent travels.

Being drunk or high. When you’re impaired, the chance that you’ll lose your belongings is greatly increased. Criminals know this.

You see great things, and you take pictures of those things. People see your phone out, and people want your phone.

You’re conspicuously messing around on your phone in public—which is like saying, “Here, take my phone. I’m obviously too stupid to have one.”

Hostels attract a wide variety of characters. Most are awesome, while others would love to relieve you of your possessions.

Here’s the reality—as safe as you might feel, you have to be aware that you’re always a target. This doesn’t mean you should be a twitchy, paranoid mess, but be conscious of your surroundings and take precautions with your valuables.

PROTECT YOUR SHIT

Copy/Photograph Documents

People steal passports because they are worth a lot of money on the black market. So, make three copies of everything (legal ID, passport, birth certificate). Keep one copy on you, one in your backpack, and leave one with a trusted friend or family member. Take a picture of all your documents and e-mail them to yourself. That way, even if you are robbed and stripped naked, you can still easily access and print out your documents. Another easy precautionary measure is to e-mail yourself necessary telephone numbers of your credit card companies (in case cards are stolen), hostels/airlines you’ve made reservations with, your bank, doctor, and family/friends.

Protect the Backpack

With your backpack on your back, it’s pretty easy for thieves to unzip, grab, and run. If you’re napping somewhere where you might be vulnerable, use your pack as a pillow, and wrap the extra straps around your wrists. That way, if someone tugs, you’ll feel it. If you’re walking somewhere you feel particularly unsafe, wear your pack on your front to keep a closer eye on it. It will look like you’re in your third trimester, but it’s better than having to replace something important.

Travel Locks

Buy a lock to secure your important items in hostels. Hostels usually provide you with lockers, but not locks. It’s nice to know your stuff is safe when you’re out getting cultured. Travel Sentry (Travelsentry.org) locks are made specifically with travelers in mind and offer designs for different scenarios. They fit on hostel lockers and your backpack zipper lock, as well. They are also recognized and easily opened by US and UK customs officials at all airports. (If they’re going to dig through your bag anyway, you might as well make it a faster process.)

Intuition, Attitude, and Common Sense

Stay alert and street-smart while traveling. You have to be assertive and avoid looking nervous, a trait schemers will exploit. Be aware of your surroundings and do not ask strangers to watch your stuff—take it with you even if it’s for a quick bathroom break. Do some research on sketchy city regions to avoid, but don’t get yourself to a point where you cut off your interaction with locals or deny yourself the ability to take your plans off course.

Avoid old baby mamas and their babies (or cute little begging kids for that matter). They often use their cuteness, helplessness, and desperation as a decoy to pick the pockets of tourists. Ignore them, check behind you, and walk away quickly.

M&M (MINIMIZE AND MONETIZE)

Minimize: take as little as possible with you when you go out so you have less to carry and less that can be stolen. When going out, take what you need out of your wallet rather than bringing your whole wallet.

Monetize (i.e., keep your eyes on your money): check often to make sure you don’t have anything sticking out of your pockets (which is easier to do with less stuff). Try not to carry anything in your back pockets. Since your backside is mostly a layer of fat (it’s true), you don’t feel as much there, which makes reaching into your back pocket the easiest way for someone to snatch something.

NECK WALLETS AND MONEY BELTS

Neck wallets and money belts are options if you are extra paranoid about the safety of your documents (they’re very nerd-chic; maybe more nerd than chic). These are slim pouches that you wear as a necklace or around your waist under your clothes, that can only fit your passport, some emergency cash, and a condom or two (although if you’re wearing this, your chances of getting laid diminish significantly). While these things are decidedly unsexy, they can prevent passport theft, because even the most accomplished thieves find it difficult to reach up or down your shirt or pants without you noticing.

POLITICAL UNREST/CIVIL WAR

Many countries are currently in a civil war, are politically unstable, and/or have regular violent protests. Being caught up in a politically fueled situation you are unfamiliar with can be dangerous. Tourists can be kidnapped, caught in crossfire, or just unable to escape the country. Read up on your destination’s political climate and decide if visiting it at the moment would be a good idea. However, don’t let previous civil unrest stop you from visiting a place, either. Countries like Burundi and Rwanda experienced civil unrest and genocide less than two decades ago, but are now great places for an off-track adventure. Cross-reference the United States Travel Portal and Australia’s Travel Advisory to get a wider picture of travel advisories around the world.

THE POLICE

Unfortunately, a country’s police force isn’t always there to keep you safe—and sometimes, it’s just the opposite. Corruption within government agencies is not uncommon abroad, and many government officials are openly willing to accept bribes. They also know you want to avoid trouble, so cops can be (and sometimes expect to be) paid off. For most developed countries, the police should be approachable, but it’s a good idea, particularly when traveling in less developed areas, to ask the locals about the police force—and what alternatives you have if you do encounter an emergency.

CAB DRIVERS

Cab drivers are frequent scammers. Since a cab is often a luxury (or a necessity after a long day of travel), here are a few tips to keep you from getting scammed by cabbies:

Insist on a meter or a set price before you get in the cab. In some countries, meters just aren’t used, and if that’s the case, negotiate the price before the taxi starts moving. It’s also a good idea, if you know you’ll be taking a cab to a well-known destination, to ask some locals what that route should cost.

If you’re nervous about hailing a random cab, call your hostel/hotel and ask them to call a reputable company and have them meet you at a designated location.

While you’re in the cab, be aware of the route you’re taking. If you have a smartphone and a data plan, follow the cab on a map app like Google Maps. Otherwise, get a city map and follow along. This will help to ensure your cabbie isn’t taking you for a ride to get more cash. Feel free to insist on a certain route in advance or while you’re on your way.

If a cabbie asks you if this is your first time in the city, your answer is always “no.” Tell him or her that you’ve been here many times, and stop the conversation. While some drivers might just be chatty, others are trying to determine if they can circle the block a few times knowing you won’t notice.

In countries where the risk of kidnapping is greater, following the route on a map will give you your bearings, and if you start to feel something is wrong, you can jump out and take off. Always make sure the door handles work from the inside, as well, and don’t put your bag in the trunk; keep it with you in the backseat for a quick exit.

Use dedicated taxi lines. In some places, unlicensed or unregulated taxi drivers will approach you and offer you a ride. Most cities have designated taxi lines where the properly licensed taxi drivers will line up.

Have small-currency bills or coins ready. Some cabbies will try and scam you with incorrect change for large bills.