Chapter 57

It was like eleven when I left.

I walked to the library on University and sat on the steps. I was lost. I was homeless with nowhere to go and with nobody in the world.

I took a deep breath.

It was time to be an adult, not cry.

‘Ain’t nothing free, Scheyenne.’

It ran through my mind. I rubbed my heart and brought my jacket tight. I had no idea where to sleep.

I’d seen homeless people before, but I was a little too proud to set up shop on the curb. Especially in EPA where I knew people.

I debated calling Amekia and asking to spend the night. I began thinking if I spend the night at one friend’s house a day… then… I’d be off the streets for… one day.

Damn, I needed more friends.

My stomach started rumbling. I hadn’t ate since lunch at 7-Eleven. McDonalds was right there, but I couldn’t do it. Only the drive through was open, and I refused to walk through it.

I lay back on my duffle trying to forget about my stomach, but it didn’t work. I was fucking starving, and I needed to wash away the bitter taste Mr. Lopez’s dick left in my mouth.

I walked around the library past the police parking lot thingy, and I waited in the cuts. It was one o’clock in the morning. I waited for five minutes. No cars. I sucked in a deep breath; if a car came, I’d just run. I walked up to the drive through. They didn’t hear a car, so no one spoke.

“Can I order?”

“Welcome to McYonalds,” the Mexican’s voice was thick.

“Yeah, can I get a double quarter pounder meal?”

“Small, mebeum or larsh.”

“Supersized it.”

Why not? I was hungry, and I didn’t know when the next time I would stop to eat again was gonna be.

“Sheesh.”

I looked at the box and slowly said, “Yeah, I’ll take cheese?” I hoped that’s what he meant.

He did his best to repeat my order.

“Dr. Pepper not sprite,” I said realizing he didn’t ask and just added what he thought I should drink.

“Tree fife seben.”

“Okay,” I walked around to the next window as fast as I could looking for cars and other homeless people.

The Mexican man was fat and sweaty. He acted like people walked through the drive through all the time.

I handed him four dollars, and he handed me a drink and then rung up my order and gave me my change. And then I heard a car. I was fixed to run, but I’d already paid for the food.

He left for my order, and I hoped that he’d have my meal ready and to me by the time the car came around.

Come on fat ass, I thought. He was bringing my meal and handing it to me just as I heard the loud music and the car round the corner.

I was so fucking embarrassed. I refused to turn around. I stayed calm with my heart pounding as I accepted my food.

The horn honked.

Oh my God, I thought. I thanked the man and the horn honked again.

I’m leaving, I thought walking away as fast as I could.

The bitch honked and then stayed on the horn.

Really? I was thinking, and then I heard, “Shi!” and froze.

Who the fuck do I know with a car, and that would be out this late at McDonalds?

For a second I thought Mr. Lopez found out I was gone and came and found me.

“Shi!”

I turned around slowly all the while walking and my heart stalled at the sight of the old school big-bodied Chevy Nova

No, I thought. Please God, if you love me, anybody but-

The head full of dreads appeared over the top of the car.

God don’t love me, I thought as I waved shyly.