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Zoe
Zoe stood on the sidewalk shivering. Jason was late. He’d been picking her up every morning to drive her to school, and it was wonderful. She wasn’t feeling ungrateful, only cold. She was finally wearing something other than sweatpants to school. She was so excited to have her world-traveling suitcase back in her possession and was wearing her favorite ripped jeans. So her knees were really cold.
It was almost winter, and she hadn’t packed a coat, but she couldn’t ask her grandmother to spend more money on her. She’d already bought her a brand-new bed with brand-new mattress and box spring. She’d gotten home on Wednesday to find it plopped down on the edge of the living room. Gramma had already made it up with new flannel sheets, fluffy pillows, and a sweet comforter. Zoe had no idea where she’d gotten the money and felt bad that she’d spent so much on her. She also felt bad that her bed now took up literally half the living room.
Despite all her guilt, the bed was amazing. She’d never felt uncomfortable on the couch, and she certainly wouldn’t have complained, but now that she had that new bed, she knew how lumpy the couch had been.
Where on earth was Jason?
And then she saw him, and her stomach turned. He wasn’t alone. Alita was sitting in the front seat.
Calm down, she told herself. This doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe she just really needed a ride to school. But as he stopped in front of the building, Zoe saw that they were holding hands, and the storm in her stomach intensified.
She considered running away. No matter the direction, just run. She considered lying. She wasn’t feeling well, was going to stay home today. She considered pulling Alita out of the car by her hair and reclaiming her seat in the front.
She did none of these things, of course. Like an obedient puppy, she pulled her gangly limbs into the back seat and stayed quiet, even though Jason greeted her jovially.
She realized she was crying. Oh no. She couldn’t let either of them see that. This was so ridiculous. Why was she crying because her completely platonic friend had gotten back together with his girlfriend? Why was she crying over a guy she couldn’t have? Even if she were the only female left on the planet, he still wouldn’t be attracted to her, which is why it was so, so ridiculous that she was crying. She had to stop. She studied her phone, trying so hard to get a grip. But the more she tried not to cry, the more she cried, and by the time they got to school, she knew she wouldn’t be able to hide it. She knew her eyes were beyond red by then, so she jumped out of the car without saying anything.
Just barely, she heard Alita say, “She doesn’t talk much” in her obnoxious cheerleader voice.
Zoe kept her head down and walked inside. She needed to never talk to Jason again. That would make her life easier. Avoiding eye contact with everyone, she made it to homeroom, where her teacher asked if she was okay. No, she was most definitely not okay. “I’m fine.”
She tried to focus on her classes, but the material seemed even more useless than usual. When was she ever going to need to know how many electrons an iron atom has? When was she ever going to need to know how to use a semicolon? Periods had been working just fine for her since she’d learned about them in first grade.
Jason kept texting. “What’s wrong?” and “Are you okay?” and “I’m here if you need me.”
She blocked his number.
She considered ditching school but where would she go? It was too cold out to wander, and she had no friends except for the eighth graders from church. She almost smiled at the idea of busting them out of junior high.
Lunch eventually came and she went through the line, got her tray filled with greasy carbs, and then went and sat down. Usually, she found comfort in food, but she had no appetite. Usually, Jason sat with her, and she didn’t know if he would today. The thought of him not sitting with her made her sad. She would miss him. The thought of him sitting with her made her want to sob. Surely Alita would be with him.
And then there he was, coming toward her. He paused a few feet away, though, and looked at her. She tried not to return his gaze, but he was just standing there silently, so she finally looked up.
“Would you rather I didn’t sit with you today?” he said quietly.
How was she supposed to answer that? He knew how she felt. He was trying to be sensitive, but she found it the most obnoxious thing in the world. “I would rather you never sat with me again.”
