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Nora
Nora had sat with her head bowed for so long that her neck had stiffened. She tipped her head back as she rubbed at the new knot in her neck. Even though she kept her eyes closed, she could see lights through her eyelids—supernaturally bright lights. Her eyes popped open to see that she was only looking at the ceiling lights.
This was a crushing disappointment. She hadn’t seen the light of God or the light of heaven—only the ceiling lights. Yet that despair that had lifted when she’d first seen them did not return. She waited for it. Waited for the weight to hit her shoulders, for the sickness to return to her stomach, for the panic to return to her chest—but none of that came.
She looked around the circle at all the people praying. Most of them she didn’t know. Some of them she’d never even seen before. She’d heard that some of them were from Mattawooptock, but she thought most of them were local people she didn’t know—people who didn’t know her.
A few of them had tears rolling down their cheeks. Others had their hands in the air. Most of them had prayed aloud, sometimes talking over one another, but for the most part, taking turns. A few of them had prayed complete nonsense. Unless they were speaking a language she didn’t know, she thought they’d probably lost their minds. But who was she to criticize? Maybe that type of praying worked. What did she know? She was tempted to scream at God right now.
Esther looked up at her. “What?” she whispered.
Nora shook her head, not understanding what she was asking.
Esther furrowed her brow. “You look different.”
Yes, she might. She felt a little different. “I don’t know.”
“What don’t you know?”
“I don’t know what’s happening. Maybe I’ve just reached a new level of exhaustion. But I feel different.”
“How do you feel?” the exceptionally tall woman beside her asked.
Nora looked over at the woman and was partially distracted by her giant floppy orange hat. “I don’t know. I guess I’m less scared.” She could feel other eyes on her now. “Like I said, maybe I’m just too tired to be scared anymore.” She had another theory, but she didn’t want to give voice to it. Maybe part of her was starting to accept that her son wasn’t coming home.
“I don’t think that’s it,” Rachel said so seriously that Nora didn’t know which theory she was referencing, the spoken or the unspoken one. “Come on, family. Let’s amp up this effort!” She held both her arms into the air, and several followed suit. A few went to their knees, and several people started praying aloud at the same time.
A weird energy began to buzz in Nora’s chest.
She was scared to recognize what this energy might be. Was it possible? Was it hope? And if so, where was it coming from?
