But she wasn’t free.
I held her in my arms as she sobbed uncontrollably the entire trip back to Brooklyn. Luka insisted on getting us both checked out at the nearest hospital. He was particularly worried about the internal injuries I had. But I just wanted to get as far away from Mexico as I possibly could. It wasn’t that I didn’t miss my family and didn’t want to see them. It was the village and modest house where I grew up that didn’t really feel like home anymore.
Wherever Luka was—that felt like home.
And his home was in Brooklyn, so that’s where I wanted to be.
I finally got Luciana calmed down enough to sleep. Luka gave us space on the plane, but he watched intently as I stroked my sister’s hair and allowed my own tears to spring forth. He’d been on a razor’s edge, clearly disparaging the distance between our bodies but understanding that my sister needed me. His knuckles whitened on the seat, like he was holding himself back from reaching out for me. Was he waiting for the moment when I shattered into a million pieces so he could glue me back together?
Maybe that would happen.
But not yet. Not until Luciana was taken care of and Luka and I had the privacy I would need to expose such vulnerability.
But I could tell his patience was wearing thin.
The moment our plane’s wheels touched down, he rushed us to the same hospital where Rome was being treated. Immediately, Luciana and I were surrounded by doctors, nurses, and all kinds of machines. Thankfully, my injuries weren’t life-threatening. No internal bleeding.
Broken bones healed with time.
Bruises disappeared.
Luciana’s wounds, on the other hand…I was afraid those scars would remain for the rest of her life.
She was currently sleeping in the hospital bed next to mine. My cracked ribs were wrapped tightly, restricting my movements. My wrist was in a brace, and my face felt like one pulpy mess. As tired as I was, since I hadn’t slept on the plane, I still couldn’t close my eyes. I’d been restless during the doctor’s examination, unable to sit still. After I was finally left alone with my thoughts for a few minutes, I realized why.
Where the hell was Luka?
I’d lost track of him with all the traffic in and out of our room. Why had he left? He’d acted like he hadn’t been able to even look away from me on the plane.
Then realization hit.
Rome was in a room just down the hall. He must have gone to check on his brother.
Ensuring that Luciana was still sound asleep, I slowly inched out of my bed, wincing when my stiff muscles protested. The pain medication they’d given me had helped, but I wouldn’t take the full dosage, despite Luka’s protests. He didn’t want me to be in pain, but I didn’t want to be knocked out.
Thankfully, I didn’t run into any nurses as I carefully trudged down to Rome’s room. And surprisingly, I didn’t run into any member of the Rossetti clan when I walked through his door. Rome was lying in bed, breathing evenly in sleep. I was pleased to see they’d removed his breathing tube, which must have meant he was improving. Gracias de Dios. I decided to sit in the chair next to his bed and keep him company, even if he was asleep.
“You look like hell.” He pried his eyes open, one at a time, his grumbly voice scratchy and hoarse.
I smiled. I’d managed to gather the tattered strands of my shorter hair up into a bun, but my face was still a mess.
“You’re not exactly easy on the eyes right now either.” My gaze ran over his overgrown beard that hadn’t been shaved in days. “What, are you taking styling tips from Grizzly Adams now?”
He grunted in what I’d like to think was a chuckle. “We can’t all be pretty one hundred percent of the time. I bet even the Kardashians would go without makeup for a day or two if they got shot in the chest.”
I scoffed sarcastically. “I heard the bullet missed your heart by a whole inch. I expected you to be back to your surly, motorcycle-riding self by now. What a wuss.”
I squirmed in the chair when his face tightened with scrutiny. “I didn’t want to trust you at first, you know.”
Speaking around the lump in my throat, I managed, “Why not?”
“Because I didn’t…” He paused for a moment, rethinking his words. “I didn’t want to believe that you were good enough for Luka. Don’t get wrong, I want him to be happy more than anything. He deserves it. But if there’s someone out there who can understand a man like him, maybe that means there’s someone out there for me too.”
My face softened. “That’s a good thing, isn’t it? Why wouldn’t you want to believe that?”
He stared past my shoulder with a far off look in his eyes. “I’m honestly not sure. I guess because I’ve gotten so good at convincing myself there wasn’t anyone out there for me. But if there is someone who can deal with my shit—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “Who can understand, that means everything I’ve believed has been wrong. And I’ll have to change…a lot of things.”
My heart melted even more for him. “Well, I believe there’s a right person out there for everyone. And you’ll know when you’ve found her because she won’t expect you to change.”
He seemed to quietly contemplate that. He was definitely someone who didn’t need to fill a void with mindless chatter. Good thing I was okay with silence.
“For what it’s worth, I didn’t want to like you in the beginning either.”
His dark eyes darted back to me. “Why not?”
“Because the more people you care about, the more you have to lose when things go wrong. And the harder it’s going to hurt when they’re no longer there.” I huffed mirthlessly. “It was a bleak outlook, I suppose.”
He nodded. “I get that.”
I felt like I had to finish that statement, though, because my outlook had changed. “But the people in our lives shouldn’t represent loss, Rome. They should represent love. To have more isn’t a bad thing, it’s…fortunate. Besides, I think we both know it’s far worse to be alone.”
His mouth tightened into a thin line and for the first time since I entered his room, he looked uncomfortable. But he forged on. “He needs you, Cat. I know he loves you, but he needs you too.”
I reached over and placed my hand on top of his. I found it endearing that he didn’t seem to know how to react to the gesture. “And I need him just the same. Our mutual instability balances us out.”
“For the record, I knew you were good for him all along.”
“But you just said—”
“Just because I didn’t want to believe it doesn’t mean I didn’t know it. I’m not blind. And I know my brother better than anyone. There’s no one else for him.”
Don’t cry in front of this tough ex-sniper. Do not cry.
“Like I said, it’s mutual.”
And with that declaration, I seemed to earn Rome Rossetti’s approval.
A scuffle from the hall had me jumping in my chair. When I turned around, Luka’s muscular form was filling the doorway. His shoulders were tense, eyes wild and frantic.
Until they locked on me.
Then they softened minutely, but not enough to completely hide his distress.
“Jesus, I about lost my shit when you weren’t in your bed.” He rushed across the room and crouched down in front of me. “Why aren’t you resting, baby girl?”
When his hand cupped my cheek, I slid mine over top of his and laced our fingers together. “I was looking for you. Where did you go?”
His face contorted in apology. “Fuck, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry I left you. I just saw how jittery you were, and I knew being confined to a hospital bed was going to be difficult for you. So I…” He trailed off and glanced down at the floor.
It wasn’t until then I noticed what he’d been carrying and had dropped at my feet.
My smile was huge. “You left to go get my crochet basket?”
Heat suffused his rugged cheeks. “I just thought you’d need to keep yourself busy, and I didn’t want you getting out of bed. Your body needs to heal.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “But I shouldn’t have left. You were looking for me and couldn’t find me—”
I placed my finger over his mouth, silencing him. “Thank you. You were thinking about me, making sure I was comfortable. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
He pulled my fingers to his mouth, kissing them. “You have to stop scaring the shit out of me. Even with a healthy heart, a man can only take so much.”
“Well, I don’t plan on getting kidnapped again anytime soon.”
His eyes squeezed shut before his head fell onto my lap. “Christ, please don’t say that. I’m trying to forget this whole goddamn thing.”
Despite his words, I knew neither of us ever would.
And I was okay with that. It was part of our journey, part of our story. I knew we would only grow from this experience, as terrifying and death-defying as it was. Our relationship would become stronger for it.
“You’re not even going to ask how I’m doing?” Rome grumbled from the bed.
“We’re twins,” Luka muttered without raising his head. “I know you’re fine.”
Rome sniffed. “Yeah, I see how it is.”
The tattooed tough guy tried to hide it, but I could tell he was grinning beneath his scraggly beard.
“Now, if you’ll excuse us.” Luka pushed to his feet, carefully pulling me up with him. “I’m going to take Cat back to her room where you can’t eavesdrop on our conversation.”
“Good, because if I wanted to watch a soap opera, I’d just turn the TV to channel three.”
I giggled as I followed Luka out the door. “Glad you’re feeling better, Rome.”
“You too, Cat.”
Once Luka helped me back into bed, treating me more like a paraplegic than someone who’d simply gotten the crap beat out of her, he didn’t say anything right away. Neither of us did. He just stared at me from the chair next to the bed, leaning his elbows against the mattress, as his thumb stroked over my fingers.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Ortega?”
I had to admit, that wasn’t the first thing I thought he’d say. Maybe it was the girl in me coming out, but I’d kind of been hoping for something along the lines of, “I love you so much, I’ll never let you go, let’s live together forever and never spend another minute apart.”
I looked down at our caressing fingers. “Because you know now how much power he had. I was afraid that if I told you his name, you’d feel it was your duty to get involved. And I didn’t want him to know anything about you.”
His expression hardened. “Baby, I could have handled him in a matter of hours. You could have stayed in bed sleeping while I dealt with his sorry ass.”
“I didn’t want anyone else cleaning up my mistakes.” Didn’t he get that? “And…maybe part of me didn’t want you knowing how badly I’d screwed up.”
“Screwed up how?”
“I fell for his act, Luka,” I sputtered. “He fooled me for years. I didn’t want you to think I was that person. Someone blind and naïve. I was…embarrassed.” In a lower tone, I added, “I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
He tipped up my chin, disbelief etched in his features. “How could you think I would?”
My eyes searched his. “Because I thought less of myself.”
“You were young, Cat. You didn’t want to see the evil in people, and you shouldn’t have been forced to at such a young age. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I just wish you would have told me so I’d have known what we were dealing with. I knew you were hiding something.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered shakily. “No more secrets?”
“Damn right no more secrets, baby.” His face fell. “You don’t know what it did to me. Seeing you in that chair, busted up like that, thinking you were…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
I wouldn’t have let him anyway.
“It’s over now. We don’t have to think about it anymore.”
His brow furrowed. “Right now, I can’t stop thinking about it. Can’t get it out of my head. I wasn’t there to stop him. He took you from my goddamn gym and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t protect you.” His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. “Of all the things I’ve done in my life, I think that’ll be my biggest regret.”
My big, fearless fighter.
Felled by his own misconceptions.
“You did protect me, Luka. You were there when it really mattered. And I knew you would be. That’s why I didn’t give up. Because I told you I wouldn’t.”
He choked on his exhale. “God, you’re so strong. So much stronger than me.”
I snorted in laughter.
He shook his head. “No, it’s true. If you hadn’t made it back, I know I wouldn’t have either.”
Unwilling to go down that road, I tried steering us in a different direction. “So, um, about our conversation in the chapel, before everything went down…you know, what you said about…” Wow, I was really not good at this.
“Oh, you mean the part where I said I’m in love with you?”
My gaze had drifted downward but flew back up at those words. “Yeah. That.”
His eyes heated. “What about it?”
I swallowed. “Does that…still stand?”
Bafflement. That’s all I could read on his face. “Do you honestly think those feelings could disappear in less than twenty-four hours?”
Well, that was the thing. I’d never been in love before, so I really didn’t know.
“It’s just—” Don’t sound stupid. “Like you said, I kept secrets from you. I thought that might affect—”
He threw his hand up, stopping me. “Let me be very clear here. I could live a hundred more years and never, at any point in my life, would I love you less than I do right now. In fact, how I feel has only grown more…intense…over the past twenty-four hours.”
My breath caught in my throat. “Really?”
Now, all I saw was bewilderment. “Seriously? Apparently, I haven’t been obvious enough.” His face hardened with intent. “Cat Vasquez, I love you so goddamn much, it’s fucking scary. Anyone who comes into contact with you should be worried for their safety because if they so much as look at you the wrong way, I’ll go apeshit on them. I can’t take a full breath if I don’t know that you’re safe. Hell, I can’t smile if I even think you’re unhappy in any way.”
That dragged a smile from me. “You barely smile as it is.”
“But before I met you, I never did. And when you make me do it, I’ve found that I actually like it.”
My finger traced along the old scars on his cheeks. “For such a tough brawler, you sure say some pretty things sometimes.”
His grin dropped. “Don’t tell Rome. Or anyone, for that matter. I’ll lose business at the gym if anyone thinks I’ve gone soft.”
Unexpected arousal lit up my insides as I chanced a peek down at his lap. “Looks like you have, but that’s an easy fix.”
His head reared back in shock. “Are you nuts? You’re not doing anything even remotely physically straining for the next six weeks, minimum.”
My jaw went slack. “You can’t be serious.”
He rethought it. “Okay, maybe four weeks. Definitely not until every last bruise is healed. Then I’ll decide when and how we go about things.”
“Uh, I was thinking I’ll be good by tomorrow.” I shifted around on the bed, trying not to wince again. “Make that the day after tomorrow.”
He chuckled. “Settle down, tough girl. I’m glad to hear you’re so eager to get my cock back between your legs where it belongs, but let’s get you feeling better first, yeah?”
As much as I tried to fight it, because I never wanted this conversation to end, my eyelids grew heavy. “Fine. I’ll sleep for a little while. Then we can discuss a sex timeline.”
He leaned in and kissed my forehead. “I’ll be here waiting.”
My eyes closed as sleep pulled me under. “Luka?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you so goddamn much too.”
He chuckled. “I know, baby. Otherwise, you never would have kept those secrets from me.”
Though I barely heard his words, something nagged at me to ask, “Why do you say that?”
He was silent for a beat. “Because someone like you keeps secrets to protect others. Not to deceive them.”
He held my hand while I drifted off to sleep. And I realized that was exactly how I wanted to fall asleep every day for the rest of my life.
In the strong arms of my dark avenger.