‘I really should stay with her,’ I say as I stare down at Eva. ‘It wouldn’t be fair to go back to the party without her.’
We arrived back just a short time ago and I’ve managed to carry Eva upstairs to the bathroom and sit her in front of the toilet. I’m surprised that Gav has left his own launch party to come and see if we’re okay. He helps me to get her into bed.
‘I thought you were angry at her?’ I say as we lay Eva down on the duvet.
‘I am. But she is my sister. I’m not stupid, I know the reason she’s like this.’
‘You do?’
‘Her and Mum have never had a good relationship. Even before we moved here and she met you. I’ve always tried to stay out of it but when she gets herself into these states, it’s hard not to feel sorry for her,’ Gav says, looking down at Eva. ‘She had a better relationship with Dad, but we all know how he turned out. She probably feels abandoned, although she doesn’t really do herself any favours getting herself into this state.’
‘Yeah, I agree. But she’s not coping at the moment,’ I whisper. Eva might be drunk but she’s not deaf and I don’t want her to hear me talking about her, even though I’m not saying anything she hasn’t said to me herself. ‘Watching you fly while she is struggling with her own demons is killing her, even though she won’t admit it. That’s why I’ve been spending so much time with her, trying to pull her out of this dark hole she’s fallen into.’
‘Always thinking about other people, that’s what I like about you, Kate.’ Gav shakes his head and smiles at me.
I don’t know how to respond but feel a flutter in my stomach as he takes a step closer. Or is it nerves because he is my best friend’s brother?
‘Come on, she won’t even know you’re gone. I mean, she’s not exactly alert, is she?’ Gav glances down at Eva and almost laughs.
‘I can’t leave her now. It’s your mum – that’s why she gets herself into these states. Brenda can only talk about your successes and fails to notice Eva.’ The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself and I half expect Eva to sit up and have a go at me for saying something. Of course, she is too drunk to be anything other than unconscious and the room is filled with an awkward silence. I can barely make eye contact with Gav and I try to break the tension by fussing over Eva and putting a blanket over her.
‘Look, I can’t help that I became a businessman and like I said, I do feel bad that things aren’t right between her and Mum. She could go to college or uni and get a degree if she really wanted to. But the truth is she can’t be arsed. All she wants to do is get wasted at any opportunity. I can’t change that. She’s my sister and I love her, but she’s her own worst enemy at times. That’s why I gave her a job.’
‘I wouldn’t say that to her face, Gavin,’ I say. Tucking the blanket around Eva’s feet and then turning to face him, I say, ‘I know she doesn’t exactly make a good case for herself when she gets this drunk but she already feels abandoned by the most important people in her life – I can’t add to that.’
Gav takes a step closer and takes my hand in his, rubbing his thumb over my skin and causing yet another stir in my stomach. ‘That’s because you’re a nice person.’
He takes another step closer and I can feel his breath on my face, hot and sweet. I’m too embarrassed to meet his eyes but he lifts my chin gently with his other hand so that we are face to face. Nose to nose. Lips just an inch apart. I said I wasn’t going to do this. He is my best friend’s brother.
‘Gav,’ I say. ‘We can’t.’ I swallow but my throat is so dry that I feel like I’m swallowing razors.
‘Why not? You want to, don’t you?’
At this very moment I do, more than anything. But something holds me back. Is it just Eva? Before I can think of anything, his lips press against mine, so slight that they’re barely on me. I part my lips in response and fight the urge to throw myself on him when a sound from behind me makes me turn.
‘Shit, she’s choking!’ I say, rushing to Eva and pulling her on to her side. I start pounding on her back with my fist. ‘Quick, grab that bin over there.’
Gav rushes to the other side of the room and grabs the bin, into which Eva brings up what looks to be the entire contents of her stomach. My heart is beating so hard that I almost forget what was about to happen. Almost.
‘Eva, you need to get your shit together,’ Gav says. The words sound harsher than I think he intends. ‘Life isn’t so bad that you have to drink yourself to the brink of death, is it?’
I watch him brush the hair away from her face and for a moment, I see a side to him I haven’t seen before. His eyes soften as he watches Eva hang over the side of the bed, head in a plastic bin whilst she cries.
‘She’ll be okay. I’ll stay with her. You go back to the party.’
His eyes settle on mine and he smiles a little. ‘I can stay with you, keep you company while you make sure she doesn’t die in her sleep?’ As much as he laughs at the suggestion, he’s right. That’s exactly what I’ll be doing.
‘No, honestly. I’ll be fine. You need to go back, it’s your celebration. Plus if you stay here, your mum will start to worry and only give her a hard time tomorrow.’
It is then that I wonder if he is going to lean over and kiss me. The moment has passed and I’m sure he doesn’t want to kiss me over the top of a bin full of vomit. Who would?
‘I’ll pop back later then? You’ll still be awake, eh?’
‘I can’t sleep now, not after she almost choked to death.’
We stand up and I place the bin on the floor, but he hovers for a moment before pulling me in gently at the waist. He presses his lips against mine for just a second then pulls away, and disappears through the door before I really know what has just happened. Now, I want to go after him and continue that kiss. But I don’t.