I open the envelope as I sit across the table from my sister in the prison visitor hall. A special request has been granted via Rebecca’s lawyer for us to bring the letter with us. Dawn is with me for support. I can’t do this on my own, can’t sit here and know that when I leave, Rebecca has to go back to her cell. Stevie Laird has refused to do a paternity test and is being particularly difficult after what happened between him and Rebecca, so we’ve gone with the sample from Carla. However, the hair that we provided had come back as unsuccessful and I was worried that with Stevie being difficult because he wanted to save his own skin that we would never have proof. Thankfully, Carla offered to provide a saliva sample. I could have cried when she did. Guilt still plagues me for what we did to her. Tricking her into thinking I was genuine wasn’t something which sat well with me throughout the entire time I worked with her, but it was the only way our mother was going to get justice. Now that the results are in, I just want this over with, so I can move on and forget any of it ever happened, that the Shaws and the Lairds ever existed.
‘How are you doing?’ Dawn asks Rebecca.
‘I’m fine. It’s not so bad in here. Three meals a day, telly and a pot to piss in. Could be worse,’ Rebecca replies and I shake my head. What happened between us should never have happened.
‘Do you want to know the results of this or not?’ I say, giving Rebecca a look.
‘I don’t need to know the results. We already know what happened. It’s not like it’ll make a difference, I’ll still be stuck in here for the foreseeable,’ she says and then turns to Dawn. ‘How is he, by the way? Still breathing?’ She sneers and I take a breath.
I look down at the paper I have pulled out of the envelope and read over it. The wording they’ve used is like another language to me. But I do understand the most important part.
‘The probability that Stevie Laird is the father is 99.9 per cent,’ I exhale. ‘It was him.’
‘You were thinking it was going to say otherwise? Now, if you don’t mind, I have somewhere to be.’ Rebecca gets to her feet and leaves the table. ‘Have a nice life, Anika.’
I watch her go, my sister. My twin. How can we be so different after sharing a womb? How can she be so blunt, so cold towards me after what we’ve been through?
‘Come on, love. Let’s get you home,’ Dawn says.
‘She didn’t even ask how Mum was doing. She didn’t even acknowledge the person she’d claimed she’d done it all for in the first place.’
We leave the prison and on our way out to the car park I begin to cry. Dawn hugs me and I take a deep breath.
‘It’s going to be okay, you know. You’ll see. Your mum is in the best place now, getting the right kind of help from professionals. They know what they’re doing, they’ll have dealt with the kind of trauma your mum experienced.’
‘I know,’ I say as I pull away and wipe at the tears with the back of my hand. ‘I just feel like I’ve been dealt the raw end of the deal. I’m the one left to pick up the mess. I have to watch as the media report everything that happened. Stevie is due to stand trial for what he’s accused of and my mum can’t stand up there and defend herself because she’s too ill to do so. That’s one less woman to help put him away. What if he gets away with this?’
‘He won’t, Anika. Eva gave the police the recording. You were there, you saw her hand it over at the station after everything happened.’
‘I know, but what if the jury think he was coerced into that confession? What if he’s found not guilty because she isn’t there to give her version of events?’
‘Okay, you have to stop now, Anika. Look at what’s happened to Rebecca because she tore herself up about this. You don’t want to go down the same road. The trauma can stop at you if you let it. In some ways, I feel a little responsible. I had no idea this would go so far. In hindsight, I’d have never agreed to get involved with that family.’
Rebecca had done well to hide the fact that she herself was struggling mentally with the trauma of what Mum went through. They say that past trauma can be transferred if not dealt with. I think that is what happened with my sister.
We get in the car and I click my seatbelt into place. I lean my head back on the head rest and think about that. He’d confessed to everything after the police heard the tape.
A few weeks after it all happened, Carla and I met up and tried to make peace with what had gone on. She’d questioned me about why our family had become involved with hers. Asked why we’d thought it better to terrorise them than go to the police. I didn’t have answers for her other than the truth. I’d become caught up in the lies, just like Eva had with Stevie when they were younger. We agreed we’d never be able to come back from this and decided it best to go our separate ways too. It was too raw for us to be around each other. As much as neither of us were to blame for what Stevie did, we agreed that we reminded each other of a bad time and being together would mean never being able to move on from it. It was Carla who stopped Rebecca from almost killing Stevie. Gavin had called the police.
‘We’re here?’ Dawn says as we pull up outside the rehabilitation centre. ‘You ready?’
‘No,’ I reply. But we get out of the car and walk towards the main entrance. We’re asked to sign in and a nurse leads us down a corridor. She stops outside a door and smiles at me.
‘She’s been talking about your visit,’ the nurse says. She gestures for us to move inside and then closes the door behind us. Mum is sitting on a chair next to the window. She turns to me and smiles before getting to her feet. Holding out her arms to me, I see the scars on her skin. Just like mine.
‘How are you both doing?’ she asks, squeezing me so tight it takes my breath away.
‘Not bad, Kate. How are you doing? You seem settled,’ Dawn replies. Mum lets go of me and sits down on the bed.
‘Yes, I like it here. It’s peaceful. No television or internet, it helps filter out the bad things going on.’ Bad things meaning Stevie’s trial.
I choose not to tell her about the DNA result. I choose not to tell her the state Rebecca is in. Mum seems peaceful here and Rebecca is still so full of hatred and anger. It wouldn’t be good for the two of them to be in contact right now even though I know that’s what they would both want.
‘You’ve heard from Carla?’ she asks and I shake my head.
‘Not for a while now, Mum. But that doesn’t matter. What matters is you getting the help you have needed to find yourself again.’
‘Yes,’ she says. ‘It might take a long time but I feel like I will heal one day. Then maybe once Rebecca sees that I’m okay, we can help her.’
I smile, hiding the fact that I know it’s unlikely. I look into Mum’s eyes and a sadness washes over me. She’d been denied a proper shot at happiness in her life. Now, in her fifties and spending her days in a rehabilitation centre, trying to work out who she is without trauma following her everywhere she goes.
We sit in the room, the three of us and we look out the window. The gardens are pretty, so much well-maintained space. I smile and look down at the fence post leading out to the vegetable gardens. A logo. I recognise it straight away.
WORK CARRIED OUT BY GSL LIMITED.
The trial of Stevie Laird, CEO of GSL Limited continues today as more of his alleged victims have taken the stand against the accused. It was reported just six months ago that Mr Laird had been accused of rape, sexual assault and harassment as nine women came forward.
None of the accusers have been named for legal reasons, however it’s alleged that more than half were employees of GSL warehouses up and down the country. Mr Laird strongly denies the allegations, stating that all encounters were consensual.
One woman, an ex-employee of one of the Glasgow branches, stood up in court today and explained how back in 2017, Mr Laird had called her into his office in order to carry out a work appraisal. The victim alleged that this is when her assault took place. She said, ‘He raped me and when he was finished, he told me to sit down, straighten myself up and then he gave me my work appraisal. I was rewarded with a salary increase.’ The woman broke down in tears as she went on to explain how for weeks afterwards, Mr Laird would contact her on her mobile phone. ‘He contacted me one Thursday evening at around eleven, telling me that he had property in Spain and that if I wanted, I could take my husband and children there on holiday, free of charge. That was when I decided I had to tell my husband. I didn’t tell the police until two years later.’
Gavin Shaw, joint CEO of the company who also faced allegations of historical sexual offences which were later retracted, was unavailable for comment on his business partner. It’s rumoured that Gavin Shaw is to sell off his shares of the business.
Since the news broke of the allegations, the Shaw and Laird families have yet to be spotted in public or make any statements to the press. Carla Laird has since de-activated her Instagram account and appears to have gone into hiding, along with her mother Eva Laird, wife of the accused. Brenda Shaw has refused to comment on the case.
Mr Laird’s trial is expected to continue over the course of the next few weeks, and if convicted he could face up to twelve years imprisonment for his crimes.