Imagine this. You’ve been preparing for an entrance exam. You know getting into that premier institute could set you up for life. Your parents have been praying for this day—hoping you get admission. And then, when the entrance results are out, you find out that you haven’t made it. What do you do?
Do you say, ‘Oh no, this is terrible. I am doomed!’? Do you brood over it for a long, long time and blame your luck and the circumstances that conspired to keep you out?
Or do you say, ‘Wow, this is good!’ and move on?
What you say could actually make a difference to your life. Certainly, to the rest of your life. There is an old saying that goes, ‘Whatever happens, happens for the best’. It is pointless worrying about outcomes you cannot change. Focus instead on what you can change. When you get caught up in looking back at your misfortune, you start looking for someone else to blame. And rather than working on picking up the pieces and building a new future, you start looking for excuses. When one door shuts, there is no point in staring at it and banging your head against it. Look out instead for other doors that may be opening. The next time you find yourself in that situation, pause, take a deep breath, and smile. Remind yourself about this African folk tale about a king and his friend.
The king’s friend was a cheerful, optimistic person. Whenever something happened—good or bad—the friend would remark, ‘This is good!’ They would often go on hunting expeditions and the friend would help prepare the king’s rifles. One day, the friend made a mistake with one of the guns. When the king took that gun and pulled the trigger, his thumb got blown off. Seeing what happened, the friend remarked, ‘This is good!’ That made the king very angry. ‘No, this is not good,’ he said, and sent his friend off to prison.
Some years later, the king was out hunting in a place he shouldn’t have ventured into. The cannibals living there caught him and began celebrating their upcoming feast. The king’s hands were tied and the cannibals began to bathe him before throwing him into the huge earthen pot that was being readied for cooking. Just then, someone noticed that the king had no thumb. As it happened, those cannibals were a superstitious lot. They never ate anyone who was less than whole. So the king was set free.
As he headed back to his palace, the king recalled the incident when he had lost his thumb. He realized his dear friend had been right in saying, ‘This is good!’ Losing a thumb that day had actually saved his life. He quickly went to the prison and set his friend free. He narrated his story to his friend and apologized. ‘You were right. I shouldn’t have put you in prison,’ said the king. ‘That was bad!’
‘No, no. This is good!’ said the friend.
‘What do you mean,’ asked the king. ‘How could sending you to jail have been good?’
‘Don’t you see?’ said the friend. ‘If I had not been in jail, I would have been out hunting with you. And the cannibals would then have killed and eaten me!’
So, the next time you find things are not going your way, think of the king’s thumb. And whatever happens, just say, ‘This is good!’ You will suddenly find the world a better place. None of us can control external events. What happens can be good or bad. What you can control are your feelings and your response. You can choose to feel good—or you can choose to feel bad.
When you moan and say this is bad, the mind gets conditioned to look for difficulty in opportunity. And when you say this is good, the mind looks for opportunity in difficulty. And therein lies the difference between winners and losers.
Consider the story of Dave Carroll—a much sought-after speaker, bestselling author and customer service guru. The story of how Dave became a customer service expert is an interesting one.
Dave, a musician from Halifax, Canada, was travelling with his band on a United Airlines flight via Chicago to Nebraska. On reaching his destination, Dave was horrified to find that the baggage handlers at United had damaged his 3500-dollar Taylor guitar. We would all have forgiven him for saying, ‘This is bad.’ But Dave didn’t say it!
Instead, he wrote to the customer service folks at United, told them about the loss of his beloved guitar and sought compensation for it. While United acknowledged that the guitar had been broken, no compensation was forthcoming. He was referred from one department to another with each person blaming someone else for the unfortunate event. After nine months of persistent follow-up, the compensation was still nowhere in sight. Now we would have understood if Dave had said, ‘This is bad!’ He did not.
Instead, with a little help from his friends in the band, he filmed a music video describing his experience. The song was titled United breaks guitars. And on 6 July 2009 he posted it on YouTube. By the end of the day, the video attracted over 150,000 hits. And by the end of the following month, viewer numbers had swelled to over 5 million. Twitter, Facebook and the blog world were all singing paeans to United breaks guitars. Dave was the new hero on the block.
The head of customer services at United called Dave and offered to compensate him for the loss (and requested him to pull out the video). He declined the offer and asked United to pay the money to a charity instead (which they did).
Dave now goes around the world speaking to corporates about his experience in customer service and the lessons he picked up along the way. Ever since he sang United breaks guitars, the cash registers haven’t stopped ringing. For Dave, United breaking the guitar wasn’t just good. It was great!
So the next time misfortune befalls, say, ‘This is good!’ And you will discover how empowering that can be. Instead of playing victim and wallowing in self-pity, the ‘This is good!’ attitude compels you to take ownership and do things that can be life-changing.
Stay positive. Remind yourself and your team that leadership is not about what happens to you, but about your response to those events.
When you moan and say this is bad, the mind gets conditioned to look for difficulty in opportunity. And when you say this is good, the mind looks for opportunity in difficulty. And therein lies the difference between winners and losers.