If you’ve been to Mumbai, you will have noticed that most taxis on its streets are old rickety black-and-yellow cars—all probably over forty years old. But change is in the air, and the last few years have seen a sudden influx of shiny new taxis. The old Fiats and Premiers are making way for the newer Marutis and Hyundais. They are newer, nicer and far more comfortable to ride in. So it’s not surprising that on a recent visit to the city, I found myself seeking out the new cabs, waiting patiently till one of those came by.
As I got into a swanky new cab, I struck up a conversation with the driver. You must be in demand, I said, explaining that I had let go of four or five old cabs as I waited for a new one. ‘Quite the contrary,’ said the driver and went on to explain. ‘Many people hesitate to get into my cab. Because it’s new and looks a lot better than all those old cabs, people think this must be more expensive.’
If you think about it, this happens to us all the time. Not just with cabs, but with people too! We let our perceptions and preconceived notions impact our view of the world. We don’t always wait to discover the truth. We allow our mental stereotypes to take over. If he is a great sportsperson, he must be terrible in academics. If she is successful, she must be arrogant. If it’s a nice new cab, it must be expensive!
The next time you feel that way about someone, think of the Mumbai cabs. It might help change the way you look at other people!
Do you have a colleague who you think is particularly rude? And has it happened that every time you see him, you find him saying or doing something that confirms your view? Happens, right? Maybe you should hear the story of the woodcutter and the missing axe.
There once lived a woodcutter in a little town near a forest. He set out one morning to chop some firewood, but just as he was about to leave home, he discovered that his favourite axe was missing. He searched high and low, but couldn’t find it anywhere. He looked in the shed where he usually left it, but it wasn’t there. As he looked up in dismay, he saw his neighbour’s son lurking around near the woodshed. The woodcutter thought, ‘Aha! That boy must have stolen my axe.’
As he looked at the neighbour’s son, he could see a nervous, guilty look in his eyes. He noticed that the lad was avoiding eye contact and shifting uneasily from one foot to another, his hands fidgeting nervously. He was now doubly sure it was the neighbour’s son who had stolen his axe.
The next day, as the woodcutter was cleaning up his shed, he was surprised to see the missing axe under a pile of firewood. ‘Now I remember,’ he thought to himself. ‘It’s exactly where I had left it!’
Later that day, he saw his neighbour’s son outside the shed again. The woodcutter looked intently at the boy, scrutinizing him from head to toe. ‘How strange,’ he thought, ‘somehow this boy has lost his guilty look. He looks like a really nice, friendly lad.’
Aha!
What happened to the woodcutter happens to us all the time. The mind plays tricks on us and influences the way we look at other people.
So now when you think of that colleague at work who hates you and is out to get you, remember it’s probably not true. It’s just how you ‘feel’. And what happens next? Everything the person does or says ‘feels’ like she is out to get you.
The next time that happens to you, think of where you last left your axe. And you’ll discover that people around you are nice and friendly. Remember, the neighbour’s son is a nice guy after all!
We let our perceptions and preconceived notions impact our view of the world. We don’t always wait to discover the truth. We allow our mental stereotypes to take over. The mind plays tricks on us and influences the way we look at other people.