It has probably happened to you before. As you walk towards the door of an office or a hotel, the person walking in front holds the door open for you. Remember how good it made you feel—if only for that moment? The other person may have been a perfect stranger—but that one act made you feel you had a friend.
Isn’t it surprising that although we all feel good when someone holds the door open for us, we seldom do the same for others? How come?
It’s probably because we are all preoccupied with ourselves and obsessed with getting ahead. Here, then, is a life-changing lesson they don’t teach you in any school: ‘Hold the Door Open’. HTDO!
The world can be divided into two types of people. Those who push open a door, walk through and let it slam behind them. That’s about 99 per cent of the population. And there’s the 1 per cent who open the door and hold it open to allow the next person to walk through. Learn to do that, and you too could join the select 1 per cent club.
Holding the door open is not just an act of courtesy, it’s a mindset. It says you care for people, that you are not so caught up in your own progress that you have scant regard for other folks. It shows that while you may be in a hurry, you still have time for others. It marks you out as a leader who walks faster, pushes ahead, opens doors but is then mindful of his team, checking their progress, helping them get past barriers. HTDO doesn’t merely make other people feel good. It makes you feel good too.
The habit of holding the door open translates into a behaviour of helping and caring. On the night before the math exam, you help a friend who is struggling to pass instead of focusing on scoring an extra mark yourself. The friend will never forget that. At the buffet table, the HDTO habit makes you pick up a plate and offer it to the lady behind you in the queue. The smile you see on her face is quite priceless. Small gestures all, but they make a huge difference. HDTO marks you out as someone special.
Try it. Become an HTDO person. And get the habit that separates winners from losers.
I love the story of what happened to a hotshot sales manager (let’s call him Vijay) on a Sunday evening in the parking lot of a shopping mall. The parking lot was packed. Cars were crawling with anxious drivers looking for that one vacant slot. And Vijay, sharp and aggressive as he was known to be, spotted a vacant space ahead and quickly zoomed in. He could see another car trying to reverse into the same slot, but Vijay was determined to beat the other man to it. And he did! Vijay felt jubilant—as we all sometimes do with life’s little victories. The old man driving the other car was disappointed. He looked Vijay in the eye and continued his search for another parking slot.
Two days later, Vijay was preparing for one of the biggest moments of his career. He was close to winning a big contract for his company. And all that was left now was the formal handshake meeting with the client’s CEO. As Vijay walked into the client’s office and saw the CEO, he felt a sudden sense of discomfort. Yes, it was the same man from whom he had snatched the parking slot on Sunday. And you can guess what happened thereafter. Alas! If only Vijay had grown up with the HTDO habit! The habit of caring for other people!
Winning in life is less about naked ambition and more about helping other people win. As someone once said, ‘It’s nice to be important. But it’s more important to be nice!’
Make a beginning. Hold the door open!
Holding the door open is not just an act of chivalry, it’s a mindset. It says you care for people, that you are not so caught up in your own progress that you have scant regard for other folks. It marks you out as a leader who walks faster, pushes ahead, opens doors but is then mindful of his team, checking their progress, helping them get past barriers. HTDO doesn’t merely make other people feel good. It makes you feel good too.