Chapter Fifteen
The sun was warm on Wade’s back, and it wasn’t even ten in the morning yet. But it felt good to be out in the field with Wyatt, stringing a fence. Good to have hard physical labor take his mind off CC. Off the kiss. Off her overnight disappearing act. Off the note she’d left him.
When he’d discovered she wasn’t home and spotted the note on the kitchen counter, he’d been filled with dread, expecting it to be a resignation letter. His hand had shaken as he’d opened the folded paper.
Concern for the muck their kiss had landed them in was quickly replaced with concern for CC. What did a family situation mean? For the Carters, it usually meant his second cousin Raymond had gone off his meds again or a shotgun wedding was imminent. But he knew CC’s family dynamics weren’t that straightforward.
He assumed it wasn’t anything too drastic, otherwise surely she’d just have said? He’d called and texted a couple of times but had no response. His mom had said CC had left a similar message on her voicemail, apologizing for leaving her in the lurch this weekend. So all he could do was wait for CC to call with an update.
Wade sucked at waiting.
It was slightly cheering to know she was planning on coming back to Credence. But what frame of mind would she be in when she did? Would she spend her time away psychoanalyzing to death what had happened between them? He didn’t want to lose CC as his PA and he was sure he could still change her mind. Yes, the kiss had thrown a wrench into the works, but he was fine with never speaking of it again. Just as she’d asked. He might think about it obsessively, but she didn’t have to know that. He’d agree to whatever she needed as long as she stayed in his life.
Wyatt approached, peeling his gloves off, wiping sweat from his brow with his forearm. Grabbing a frosty bottle of water from the cooler, he tossed one to his brother.
“Thanks.”
Wade pulled his gloves off and drank half, removed his hat, splashed some cold water over his hair and face, and crammed the hat back on.
“Jenny and Roxy at the information meeting?” Wade asked.
Wyatt deliberately avoided his gaze. “Yep. They left with Mom.”
“Are they interested in staying? In starting up a business?”
“I don’t think Roxy could handle living here, but Jenny’s interested.”
“She told you that?”
Wyatt splashed his face, too, then looked directly at Wade. “She told me.”
“Does she have a business idea?”
“She’s thinking about selling coffee. The real stuff. She knows how to work one of those fancy city machines.”
Wade laughed. There was no such fancy machine anywhere in Credence. “I like her already.”
His brother’s gaze skittered away again, but he was smiling. In fact, Wade would go as far to say that Wyatt was glowing.
Wade leaned his elbow on the nearest post and rested his foot on the bottom strand of wire. “So she’s just going to pick up and leave Pittsburgh. Just like that? No job or…other things keeping her there. Family and…friends?”
Wade didn’t want to push, but he could see that Wyatt was clearly smitten, and he hated to think his brother might end up with a broken heart if things didn’t work out because Jenny started to miss her mother or her bestie or an ex…
“Yeah, Wade. Just like that.”
Wade contemplated shutting up. His brother’s tone had turned testy, and he really didn’t want to rain on his parade. But…
“I don’t want to be some kind of downer, Wyatt, really I don’t. But I saw you dancing with her last night, and you’re practically blushing right now, and I just don’t want to see your heart broken if she’s not as committed to this as you are, that’s all. I mean…it’s been less than twenty-four hours. What do you really know about her, bro?”
“She comes from a broken home and left high school before she graduated. She’s working minimum wage bussing tables at the moment, busting her ass every day and just can’t get ahead. But she can here. She only has a great aunt in Pittsburgh and no other family. And she said the minute the bus drove into Credence she knew it was the place for her, and I gotta say, it looks real pretty on her.”
Wade held up both of his hands as his brother threw his water bottle on the ground. “Okay.”
“I know, to a guy who has a revolving door on his apartment, settling for one woman isn’t your jam. But all I ever wanted, Wade, is to find someone to love and who loved me and live happily ever after. Maybe have a couple of kids if we’re lucky. Like Mom and Dad. What the hell is wrong with that?”
Wade wanted to dispute his brother’s summation about what was and wasn’t his jam, but it was hard to refute. He had found the one with Jasmine, had been happy to settle down. But that had gone pear-shaped, and he’d been so badly burned that going back there again wasn’t an option.
But the yearning in Wyatt’s voice had taken him back to those days. To the promise of what was to come and, unbidden, an image of CC rose in his mind.
“Nothing.” He smiled at his brother as he shook the image away. “Nothing’s wrong with it at all.” He downed the last of his drink.
“You don’t think she’s too young for me?”
“How old is she?”
“Twenty-five.”
Wade whistled. “She looks older than that.”
“She hasn’t had an easy life.”
“No. I mean…she looks like an old soul, you know? Like she’s been around once already.”
“Yeah.” Wyatt nodded. “You’re right. She does.” He retrieved his water bottle and took a swig. “So, you think the age gap is okay?”
“What does she think?”
Wyatt shrugged. “She knows how old I am. But I haven’t specifically raised the issue.”
“Well, if the way she was dancing with you last night was any indication, I’d say she doesn’t have a problem with it.”
Wyatt smiled a goofball smile, and Wade couldn’t help but return it. It was ridiculously hopeful. Which made Wade happy and wary all at once.
“So, what…you’re in love with her?”
His brother looked at his feet for a beat or two before raising his gaze to meet Wade’s. “Yeah. I know it sounds crazy, but I think I am.”
Wade laughed. “A little. Are you sure it’s not your dick talking? I mean…how long has it been since you got laid?”
Wyatt looked away again, busied himself putting his gloves back on.
Wade laughed. “That long?”
Still no answer or eye contact from Wyatt. Just a “Let’s get back to work.”
“Oh no,” Wade joked. “It’s worse than I thought.”
There was a snort and a muttered “You have no idea” as Wyatt turned away, grabbing the roll of wire behind him.
Wade frowned. “Wyatt?”
“Fuck’s sake, Wade. The fence won’t string itself.”
Wade’s frown deepened as he inspected his brother’s back. He reached across and put a stilling hand on his brother’s arm. One moment he’d been all goofball and now he was shutting down. “Talk to me, Wyatt.”
Another snort as Wyatt bent over and unraveled a length of wire like the planet’s well-being depended on it right at this second. “I’m not talking to you about this.”
“What. Sex?”
They always smack-talked about sex. Joked around about it. It was like 50 percent of their relationship, since they’d fought over the Victoria’s Secret catalogue as teenagers. But now his brother could barely look at him, and Wade wondered if it was because it had been so long or maybe because Wyatt hadn’t had a lot of opportunity to practice.
Unlike quarterbacks with three Super Bowl rings.
“It’s okay to be inexperienced, Wyatt. It’s not like you forget how to do it, it’ll all come back to you, trust me.”
Wyatt stood and looked at Wade for the first time, a mix of frustration and exasperation in his gaze. “It’s not…look, I…haven’t, okay? Enough already.”
Defiance and resignation burned in Wyatt’s gaze, and Wade’s confusion grew. Enough already? No fucking way. “Haven’t…what?”
“Done it.”
Done it? “Sex?”
His brother nodded quickly, averting his gaze again before admitting “Yes” in a soft voice.
Wade blinked. Oh. “Like…at all.”
Wyatt glared at him. “Yes, Wade. At all. I’m still a virgin, okay? You can laugh now.”
Wade blinked. Holy Toledo. That he hadn’t expected. “Shit, man. I’m not going to laugh at you.”
Wyatt may have been glaring and defiant, but he was also clearly embarrassed, and the fact that he’d confided in his younger, much more sexually experienced brother was a big deal. Wyatt wasn’t a touchy-feely kinda guy, he wasn’t a talker. He didn’t poke his nose into anyone else’s business and expected the same courtesy in return. He deserved Wade’s respect and admiration, not his flippant jokes.
“Actually, it’s kinda—”
“If you say sweet, I’m going to punch you in your pretty quarterback face.”
Wade laughed. “I was going to say amazing, actually. It also explains the calluses on your hands.”
Wyatt, despite his embarrassment, hooted out a laugh as he pulled a glove off and inspected his hand. It was hard and lumpy from years of fencing and myriad other physical labors involved in farm work. His smile faded quickly, and he shot Wade a quick, pained look.
“It’s embarrassing is what it is. I’m a forty-year-old virgin, for fuck’s sake. I’ve only ever been to second base, and to be honest, I’ve only been there twice. I’m the full yokel cliché. It’s… I’m pathetic.”
“No, man.” Wade shook his head emphatically. Just because his brother didn’t go for deep and meaningfuls didn’t mean he didn’t feel deeply about things, and his virginity was obviously something of which he was ashamed.
Fuck that shit.
“Don’t do that. You’re the most decent, honorable guy I know, and that’s the true measure of a man. Not how many chicks he’s bagged. That’s just horseshit guys spout off to save ourselves from the agony of actually talking to each other.”
“You must be full of shit, then.”
Wade laughed at his brother’s dig. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
A manly snort huffed from Wyatt’s mouth. “My heart bleeds for you.”
Wade laughed again. “Seriously, though, do you mind me asking how? I know you’ve dated from time to time, so I assumed you’d…”
Wyatt looked down at his hands and shook his head. “Honestly, man, I don’t know. I keep asking myself the same question. I just… I’m not good around women, you know that. They’re so pretty and smart and sophisticated, and they smell so good, and…I’m not like you. I never really got how to talk to them, and I get tongue-tied so I clam up, and it’s not like we’re spoiled for choice around here, right? I haven’t had a lot of chance to practice, and just screwing up the courage to ask a woman out brings me out in a cold sweat, and I never know what to say when we are out, so dates are usually a disaster, and…I don’t know, suddenly I’m nearly fucking forty and I’ve never done the deed.”
“And it’s different with Jenny?”
A goofy look lit Wyatt’s face as he glanced at Wade. “Yeah, man. Right from the beginning, I felt like I can talk to her.”
“Have you kissed her?”
“Hell no.” Wyatt shook his head.
“But you want to.”
“Jesus, Wade.” A dull flush stained Wyatt’s cheekbones. “I like it better when we talk about hogs.”
Wade knew this conversation must be excruciating for his brother; it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for him, either. They just didn’t talk about this stuff. Not in any kind of plain, honest way. But Wyatt had opened the door. And damn if getting Wyatt laid wasn’t something he could occupy his mind with to forget about his idiotic behavior with CC.
“C’mon, man, it’s just me. Would you rather talk to Dad?”
Wyatt gaped at his brother. “I’d rather stick a rattlesnake down my boxers.”
“So talk to me.”
Wyatt did a good impression of squirming while standing but took a deep breath and continued. “Yes, I’d like to kiss her. Like to do more than that. But I’ve known her for less than a day. I just don’t have those kind of moves, Wade.”
“Don’t worry about your moves. Do you think she wants the same thing?”
“Yeah.” Wyatt nodded slowly. “I’m not exactly tuned in to what women want, but when I look at her, I swear I know she feels the same way.”
Wade chewed over that for a moment. He might be cynical about love and relationships, but he remembered a time when he’d been sure of a woman, too.
“And if the opportunity arose…to sleep with her…you’d be up for it?”
Wade laughed at his joke as Wyatt rolled his eyes. “Of course.”
“Okay…” Wade nodded as an idea formed in his head. “Here’s what I think. You should tell her. About being a virgin.”
Wyatt blinked, then his face screwed into an expression of absolute horror. “What? Did you take a stupid pill this morning? Hell no.”
“Tell her. Trust me, she’ll love it. She’ll admire your honesty and—” Wade grinned. “She’ll be gentle with you.”
A low growl rumbling in the back of his brother’s throat widened Wade’s grin.
“I think you’re getting way too much enjoyment out of this.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Wade made an effort to pull himself together. “I still think it’s the right way to go.”
“I’m not telling a twenty-five-year-old woman who’s pretty enough to have had a dozen lovers by now that I’m a virgin.”
“You’d rather her wonder about your technique as you fumble through it instead?” Wade remembered how bad he’d been at it the night he’d lost his virginity and how nerves had made it even worse. “Or have her think you’ve got a trigger thing going on down there when you’re done in approximately ten seconds, which is about how long I lasted the first time?”
Of course, he had been seventeen, not nearly forty…
“Oh God.” Wyatt cradled his face in his palms for a couple of beats before dropping his hands and looking at his brother. “What if she…I don’t know…thinks I’m some kind of freak? What if she laughs?”
“If she laughs?” Wade turned suddenly serious at the thought. “Run away, man. She’s not the woman for you.”
Anyone who didn’t have the sensitivity to intuit that revealing such an intimate detail about his life was excruciating for Wyatt wasn’t worth his time. She wasn’t the woman that his stalwart brother needed.
“Christ, Wade.” Wyatt took off his hat, raked his hand through his hair, and placed it back on his head again. “I don’t know.”
“Look…it’s an option.” Wade shrugged. “Just think about it, okay?”
“Like I’m going to be thinking about anything else,” Wyatt muttered.
Wade smiled to himself as he picked up his gloves. “We done now? Or you want the birds and bees talk as well. I give a good one. Complete with diagrams.”
Wyatt snorted. “I will feed you to the hogs if you even try.” He shoved his hand into his glove and stalked away.
…
Three days later, Wade and Wyatt came in from their chores to find their mother pacing the kitchen, George watching her with worried eyes, whining softly.
“Oh boys, there you are.”
Dread, thick and hot, surged into Wade’s chest. “What’s wrong? Is it Dad?” His father had an appointment to see Credence’s only doctor this morning.
“No, no.” She shook her head.
“Is it Jenny?”
Jenny had insisted on moving into the boardinghouse Bob and his merry helpers had done up when the other women had left Credence en masse on Sunday. Ronnie had been happy for her to stay, and Wyatt had asked her not to leave, but she hadn’t wanted to impose any longer. She’d insisted she needed to stand on her own two feet, and Wade had admired the hell out of her for that.
“No, darlin’.” Ronnie smiled at her eldest son as she reached up and briefly cupped her hand to the side of his face. It fell away as she turned to face Wade. “I’ve just been talking to CC. Her father died, she’s just been to the funeral.”
If his mother had punched him in the chest, Wade couldn’t have been any more shocked. The news hit him square in the solar plexus. “What?”
Why hadn’t she told him? Why wouldn’t she say something?
“When?”
“On Friday evening, apparently.”
That news was probably even more shocking. She’d known when she left that her father was dead, and she hadn’t said anything?
Just a family situation.
A funny pain, like a stitch or a cramp, grabbed Wade around his ribs. Yes, things had been up in the air between them on Friday evening after the kiss, and yes, CC had always been very private about her family, but hell, she’d opened up to him about her childhood, her parents, and hell, they’d been practically inseparable for almost six years. He’d have thought she’d confide something this big, this shocking, this earth-shattering.
George, as if sensing Wade’s disquiet, padded over and sat at his feet, leaning his body into Wade’s leg. He whined softly again, and Wade absently reached down and petted his head.
“She called you?” Why would CC tell his mother and not him?
“No. I called her about something to do with the next singles event in three weeks and, well, just to check on her really, because I don’t know…I’ve been worried and she sounded terrible, and I asked her if everything was all right, and she didn’t say anything for the longest time…” Tears glittered in his mother’s eyes. “I thought she might have hung up for a moment, and then she just said, ‘No, my father died.’ Oh Wade.” Ronnie pressed a hand to her stomach. “She sounded so…hollow and awful.”
Wade felt pretty fucking hollow and awful, too. Christ…why hadn’t she said something? He turned to Wyatt. “Will you be okay here for a bit if I go for a couple of days?”
Wyatt nodded. “Of course.”
“Oh yes, darling.” Ronnie nodded. “Please go to her. She needs you.”
Wade suppressed the snort. He wasn’t as confident as his mother. In fact, given CC’s history, he wouldn’t put it past her not to deliver a delayed knee to his testicles. He knew she had that maneuver down perfectly. But he couldn’t not go, either.
He couldn’t explain the compulsion bubbling inside him, he just knew that CC might need somebody outside the family, and he wanted it to be him.
“I’ll go home and get cleaned up.”
His mother crossed the kitchen and embraced him. “You’re a good man, Wade Carter.” She pulled away. “You drive safe now, you hear? CC doesn’t need your death on her conscience, and black is not my color.”
Wade smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”
He nodded at his brother and turned to go. George whined and thumped his tail, staring at Wade with those freaky blue eyes. The dog might be as dumb as a box of rocks, but he had clearly picked up on the emotion in the room, and CC loved the damn animal. George never failed to make her smile, and she’d even managed, despite everyone else failing, to train him a little.
He shook his head at the dog. “You pee in my Mustang and I will leave you on the side of the road.”
George gave an excited little yip, and Wade rolled his eyes. “C’mon then, let’s go get CC.”
He didn’t have to be asked twice. He was up and out the door before anyone could blink. Wade followed him with grim determination.