Growing Up and Getting Real (Age 29)
The lesson of Saturn is that life is a lesson.
Saturn is one of those planets with a terrible reputation and even worse PR. No wonder: It's associated with reality, responsibility, seriousness, setbacks, caution, fear, limitations, and obstacles. Oh, and let's not leave out old age! Ancient astrologers referred to Saturn as the Great Malefic; it's also known as the Lord of Winter, the Taskmaster of the Universe, and the Great Teacher.
I call Saturn the “Dr. Phil” of planets; it's about getting real. Saturn is a no frills kind of guy, but it isn't bad; no planet is. Let's compare Saturn to Jupiter—a planet with great PR and terrific buzz. Jupiter has a reputation for bestowing luck, prosperity, and abundance, yet this planet isn't all it's cracked up to be. Bigger-is-better Jupiter, like certain politicians and rock stars, also rules excess and exaggeration—it's where we can't say “no.”
Bottom line: Jupiter isn't all good luck and Lotto, and Saturn isn't all struggle and sacrifice. It's said that Jupiter gives us crutches, while Saturn takes them away. At some point, we need to remove the training wheels or, like Forrest Gump, throw off the braces. The gift of Saturn is that it teaches us self-discipline, self-control, good boundaries, and, above all, maturity. Not exciting or sexy qualities but absolutely necessary if we want to create anything of lasting value.
Saturn comes by its reputation legitimately. The planet was named after the mythic Titan, known to the Greeks as Cronus and to the Romans as Saturn, who fathered gods but also devoured his children, just like his father before him. In fact, Saturn castrated his father (Uranus, also spelled Ouranus) with his sickle, which is how he became ruler of the Universe. Saturn married his sister Rhea; together they reigned for countless ages.
It had been prophesied that one of Saturn's children would depose him. To prevent this from happening he swallowed each of his progeny immediately after Rhea gave birth. Finally, after the birth of their sixth child (Zeus/Jupiter), Rhea had had enough. Rhea had baby Zeus secretly taken away to the island of Crete to be raised by nursemaids. Rhea then wrapped a stone in swaddling clothes and gave it to Saturn; he swallowed it, believing it was the infant.
When Zeus was grown, he returned, and, with the help of his grandmother (Gaia), he poisoned his father, causing Saturn to vomit up the other five children: Hestia, Demeter, Hera, Hades, and Poseidon. A devastating war between these new gods (the Olympians) and the older gods (the Titans) followed, almost destroying the entire universe. Ultimately, Zeus and the Olympians won, and Saturn and his brothers (the other Titans) were imprisoned in Tartarus, a dark, forbidding region far below the earth.
In astrology, the planet Jupiter is associated with justice and the legal system. Saturn, on the other hand, represents those figures who enforce the law: the policeman, the drill sergeant, the principal, the mother superior, the CIA. Saturn is related to authority and our earliest encounters with it. Ultimately, Saturn teaches us to become the author of our own lives. Saturn rules structures, the external structures of society that keeps us safe (but can also confine us) as well as our skeletal system, spine, and the skin that contain us. Saturn also governs the knees, and encounters with this Great Teacher often “bring us to our knees.”
He has none of the glamour associated with the outer planets and none of the humanness of the personal planets.
We all have the planet Saturn somewhere in our chart. We can't have it surgically removed (though some celebrities have tried—you know who I mean), and we can't hold back Father Time, another name for Saturn. The sign and house where we have Saturn is where we are cautious, slow, and often stuck; it's an area that doesn't come naturally or easily. As a result, we have to work on it, which is why we often become proficient in that area. It's the little girl who takes ice skating lessons to strengthen her weak ankles and becomes an Olympic champion or the kid who stutters and ends up being a famous actor or public speaker.
The good news is that Saturn gets better with age. More good news: unlike Jupiter, Saturn doesn't shower us with gifts, but it is fair and does reward us at the end of the transit. If we work with Saturn, we will be paid accordingly—but not a penny more! Another name for Saturn is the Lord of Karma; we reap what we sow.
Everything changes at our Saturn Return; I mean everything. This is the big Kahuna, the doorway to adulthood, and to the first major adult life cycle. Once a year, the Sun comes back, or returns, to the exact position it was in when we were born; that is our Solar Return—or what is commonly called our birthday. Saturn takes approximately twenty-nine and a half years to return to its birth position. Voilà, it is our Saturn birthday, or Saturn Return. People talk about the big 3-0; it's really the big 2-9.
Something happens in our mid- to late twenties: we begin to feel the clock ticking; there is a sneaking sensation that we're running out of time, and we need to make some important decisions—like where we're going and what we plan to do with our life. It doesn't matter how important your job is (running a major corporation, bestselling author, raising a family), how much money you're making, or how many Twitter followers and Facebook friends you have. There is a part of us that remains connected to our parents and their standards—or perhaps is still rebelling against them. That doesn't negate what we've accomplished during our twenties, but on some level we are operating within the context of the family we grew up in. At our Saturn Return, it's time to discover who we are, what we believe in, and make some decisions based on our values and interests.
Saturn doesn't ask us to give up our dreams, only to make them real.
Maybe you dream of being a rock star. You're passionate about music; you've got some serious guitar skills and a decent voice; and the band you formed in high school was a local legend. You and your buddies move to New York City, and the band gets some gigs; just enough to keep your hopes up but not enough to really take off.
By your mid-twenties, you're getting tired of sharing an apartment in the boondocks of Brooklyn with three other guys and eating cold pizza for breakfast. Over the years, you've done temp work to make extra money. One day, you're sent to a recording studio and become fascinated; the work is stimulating and the people are great. The temp job evolves into a full-time position. You've finally found your niche.
Here's another scenario: the band dissolves, your girlfriend breaks up with you, and you hit bottom. After weeks of feeling sorry for yourself, you realize that it's now or never and decide to get serious about your music. You cut back on the late nights and drinking, write a half dozen new songs that finally have some real feeling, and make a demo. Maybe, like Adam Lambert (who, in 2009 at age twenty-seven, came in second on American Idol), you audition for a reality television singing competition and your career finally takes off. Whatever you decide to undertake will involve compromise, sacrifices, and bloody hard work. That's just how Saturn operates, but at our Return, we're finally ready, willing, and humble enough to do that.
Saturn is associated with our professional life and status, so for many of us, our Saturn Return involves a career decision. That can mean discovering what we want to do; or, if we're already working in a field we love, we might take on more responsibility, get a promotion, or go into business for ourselves. Some of us may already be working in demanding and highly skilled professions, even saving lives and contributing to society. In that case we may decide to commit to a relationship or start a family.
For example, Kate Middleton and Prince William were both born in 1982 and have Saturn in Libra (they take relationships seriously). They were married in 2011 during their Saturn Return.
Other people may decide to go back to school for an advanced degree, buy a home, or volunteer for a cause they are passionate about.
By the time she was twenty-nine, Celine Dion had achieved stardom; she had made twenty-five albums and was at the top of her career. She wanted desperately to have a child but couldn't get pregnant. Finally, in 1999, during her Saturn Return, she made a difficult decision; she put her career on hold to start a family as well as to help her husband recover from cancer. She gave birth to a son in 2001. When she returned to her career, critics noted that her music had a more mature sound.
Natalie Portman was already a major star when she signed on for the role of the young ballerina in the movie Black Swan. The preparation for the role was grueling; although she had studied dance when she was younger, Portman was required to train for five to six hours a day for six months. It paid off; Natalie Portman won the Academy Award for best actress for Black Swan. She also met her husband while working on the film, the choreographer Benjamin Millepied, and became pregnant.
It doesn't matter how much potential we have; sooner or later, we must prove ourselves to the world. Whether it's a career, a family, or a role in the world, we dedicate ourselves to something that will occupy a good part of our adult life and come to define us. We can't dream forever; there comes a time when we need to grow up, take a stand, and put our dreams to the test. The Saturn Return is that time. How do we know what that will be? Around the age of twenty-seven, something begins to happen that will give us a clue.
Progressions are another predictive technique that illustrates how we develop and evolve throughout life. The progressed lunar cycle (sometimes called the Moon cycle) moves almost at the same speed as the Saturn cycle, but it takes around twenty-seven, rather than twenty-nine, years to complete. The Moon is the domain of emotion and instinct; Saturn represents reality, form, and structure.
Before we figure out what we need to do, we get a feeling, an impulse. In other words, being comes before doing; inspiration comes before action. Imagine going to a Broadway musical or an opera. Before the curtain goes up and the action begins, there is the overture. We hear the music and immediately get a sense of the story. Is it The Lion King, Les Miserables, or Hamilton? The overture tells us what to expect.
The lunar cycle that precedes the Saturn Return is our overture. If we are quiet, pay attention, and listen to our intuition, we can feel something; an impulse that's beginning to grow, a tiny melody telling us what will happen when the curtain rises. Astrologer Steven Forrest has said: “If you haven't taken the time to feel at the Lunar Return, you end up making a random choice and have a random chance of being happy. The lunar has to be gotten right; it lays the foundation inwardly and invisibly.”
Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love.
First we dream: that happens at our lunar time; that is our inner process. We are pregnant with something; we are incubating who we will be as an adult, and it must be nurtured and protected. In the Saturn time, we bring that dream into manifestation; that is the outer process. It is then that the two come together. We are a society of multitaskers—overscheduled, overextended, and often overwhelmed. Our culture does not honor the lunar, the feminine. We don't receive a lot of support for slowing down, going inside, and listening to those subtle impulses. But that's exactly what we need to do during this lunar time—if the Saturn Return is going to be fulfilled.
There are many examples of people who have departed either before, during, or right after their Saturn Return; so many, in fact, that there's a name for it: the 27 Club. Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Brian Jones were all members. So was Kurt Cobain; in fact, according to his sister, he spoke about wanting to join the 27 Club, and he succeeded. Robert Downey Jr. almost became a member. Amy Winehouse was terrified that she would become a member and ultimately did.
The price of joining this exclusive club is high, but you can't put it on your Visa or Black Amex. Instead, it will cost you your life. The 27 Club, also known as the Forever Club, is reserved for those people—specifically famous rock musicians—who have died around the age of twenty-seven, often under mysterious circumstances. There are songs, a movie, books, and even websites devoted to it.
Many other musicians have died close to that age: Otis Redding (26), Hank Williams (29), and Jeff Buckley (29). In fact, Jeff Buckley was second generation; his father, musician Tim Buckley, died at twenty-eight. And it's not just musicians; there have also been poets (Rupert Brooke), artists (Jean-Michel Basquiat), and movie stars (Heath Ledger) who have joined this club. Why are the mid- to late twenties filled with so many landmines? Why are rock stars and creative people particularly vulnerable?
The Progressed Lunar Return is a time to slow down, to get in touch with our feelings, and to allow our intuition to guide us to the great task we will undertake at our Saturn Return. For most of us, this is doable. The problem arises if you're living on the fast track, running on empty, and self-medicating when you're twenty-six and twenty-seven. In that case, it's much harder to listen to your heart; and if you try, the information being filtered through a heavy haze of booze and drugs isn't likely to be reliable. In fact, following what you think is your heart could be extremely dangerous. Insecurities, fears, and doubts become exaggerated; so can the need to escape.
Many people get sober and clean up their act at their Saturn Return. Actors Bradley Cooper and Rob Lowe stopped drinking at age twenty-nine, and both have been very open about how it has changed their lives for the better. For those who have serious emotional or psychological issues, this period can be a slippery slope.
For the majority of us, the Saturn Return is a challenging but empowering period. By committing to something and following through, we learn discipline, decision making, and how to function in the world. But what if you achieved massive fame and fortune in your teens or early twenties, before you acquired those Saturn skills? What if you have access to endless drugs, sex, and fast cars, plus a team of lawyers to bail you out when trouble hits? It takes an exceptional young person with high self-esteem, good values, and a strong family not to yield to temptation. Many members of the 27 Club came from broken families with histories of alcohol or drug abuse. Once they became famous, they had handlers and hangers-on instead of positive role models.
The Moon is emotional; it feels. At the lunar time, we must tune into our Moon, our mood. Can you sense what it's asking of you? Can you hear the call, and can you respond? Saturn is practical; it wants to build something real and tangible. It asks us to take what's inside us (a dream, a vision, a goal) and manifest it in the world in a concrete way. Saturn won't do the work for us; it is up to us to take responsibility for our vision, do the heavy lifting, and see it through to the end. Bottom line: You find your mountain and then you climb it.
Saturn thrives on massive amounts of hard work. In fact, Saturn has never seen a job it didn't like.
Like any initiation, the Saturn Return isn't easy—if it's easy, it ain't Saturn. This is not about instant gratification; this is about long-term goals and dedication. Most likely, there will be challenges, obstacles, and setbacks. The workload can be tremendous, the road long, problems and pressures daunting. That's all part of the process.
Randy Pausch (the Carnegie Mellon professor of computer science who became famous for his inspiring book, The Last Lecture) inadvertently described Saturn perfectly when he said, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”
Often during an initiation, a mentor or guide will appear to help us make the transition. When it's our Saturn Return, the mentor is generally older, although not necessarily in age; he or she may be someone with more experience, wisdom, or gravitas.
It was shortly after his Saturn Return that Carl Jung initiated contact with Freud; they met the following year. Although Jung's reputation in Zurich was growing, he spent the next several years apprenticed to Freud. In 1928, when Georgia O'Keeffe was twenty-nine, Alfred Stieglitz included her in a group show at his gallery in New York City. It was a small show, but it was a turning point; Stieglitz not only helped launch O'Keeffe's career, he became her lover and later her husband. Johnny Carson was a mentor to both Joan Rivers and Jerry Seinfeld. They both appeared on his show at their Saturn Return.
At her Saturn Return, Karen von Blixen-Finecke (better known by her pen name, Isak Dinesen) left Denmark for Kenya, where she and her husband established their coffee plantation. Gertrude Stein moved to Paris, where she launched her famous salon. In 1948, when he was twenty-nine, J. D. Salinger submitted a story to the New Yorker entitled “A Perfect Day for Bananafish.” The magazine was so impressed that they signed him to a contract; Salinger found his literary home. In 1983, Oprah Winfrey, then twenty-nine, relocated to Chicago to host WLS-TV's A.M. Chicago. Within months, her show overtook that of Phil Donahue and became the highest-rated daytime talk show.
In many ways, the Saturn Return can be compared to going into the army, rehab, or one of those wilderness experiences such as Outward Bound. Our addictions, our freedom, even our identity are taken away, and we're forced to shape up. There's usually a Saturn figure (like a sergeant, Alcoholics Anonymous [AA] sponsor, or team captain) involved. Let's face it: in our twenties we are untried and untested, yet often arrogant and full of ourselves; we need direction. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. The beauty of Saturn is that, at their best, experiences like the army or rehab force us to grow up; they teach us discipline, responsibility, and accountability. It can be harsh, even brutal, but we are forever changed.
Jack Kerouac completed On the Road in 1951 when he was twenty-nine; it took him until 1957 to find a publisher (Viking Press). Poet Mary Oliver published her first book of poems, No Voyage and Other Poems, in 1963 when she was twenty-eight. Hillary and Bill got married at their Saturn Returns (she was twenty-eight; he was twenty-nine). Both Bill Clinton and Al Gore entered politics during their Saturn Returns, while Hillary Clinton joined the Rose law firm. Patti Smith released her first album, Horses. Diane von Fürstenberg started her fashion company when she was twenty-three, but it was at her Saturn Return that she introduced her famous knitted “jersey wrap” dress that would shoot her to success. Harrison Ford, Sylvester Stallone, and Meryl Streep all got their big break at their Saturn Return.
Musicians and bands typically burst on the scene during their early years, but the Saturn Return can bring other changes. The Beatles had their biggest hits during 1965–1969. They broke up in 1970; John Lennon and Ringo Starr were both thirty, Paul McCartney was twenty-eight, and George Harrison was twenty-seven. Carole King, along with her husband Gerry Goffin, wrote dozens of hits for other artists. In 1971 (at age twenty-nine), King released her breakthrough album Tapestry, one of the bestselling albums of all time. At age thirty, saxophonist Clarence Clemons joined Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band. In 1974, at age twenty-nine, the Wailers broke up, and Bob Marley went on to pursue a solo career.
Do you remember the 2009 film, Julie & Julia? The movie is based on the true story of Julie Powell. Julie, then twenty-nine, was working at an office job in Manhattan—and she hated it. One day, she met her old college roommates for lunch; all had high-powered jobs, and one woman was a successful blogger. When Julie told her boyfriend about the lunch and how dissatisfied she was with her own career, he suggested that she try blogging. “What could I blog about?” she asked. The boyfriend suggested that, since she loved to cook, she should blog about that. Julie decided to cook every recipe in Julia Child's book, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, in one year. Every night after coming home from the office, Julie spent hours boiling lobsters or deboning ducks, then stayed up late writing her blog. She wasn't looking for fame and fortune; Julie had no idea her blog would lead to a book deal or that Nora Ephron would someday direct Meryl Streep in the film adaption of the book. Julie was hungry (pun intended) for a challenge and for work she was passionate about.
There is no shame in not having your life together at twenty-eight or twenty-nine when Saturn kicks in. Many of us are late bloomers. We're not talking about perfection; it's about beginning the process, taking on responsibility, and dedicating ourselves to something we believe in. When that doesn't happen, we end up being stuck in an old persona or situation that no longer fits.
When that happens, it's easy to become bitter, cynical, and self-righteous. Blaming others is not unusual. It's always “them”—our parents, the government, the economy, or just plain bad luck. Or we go to the other extreme and end up blaming ourselves. We continue to drift, sell out, or take the easy road; marry for the wrong reason or find work that is dull. Saturn is associated with depression, and, although not a prediction, it is one of the ways Saturn can express itself when it doesn't have a healthy outlet.
Saturn Wisdom: Thomas Mann said in his novel, Joseph and His Brothers, “At thirty, a man steps out of the darkness and wasteland of preparation into active life; it is the time to show oneself, the time of fulfillment.”
Carl Jung, Jimmy Carter, and Bono all have Saturn in the first house, an extremely solid placement that indicates a powerful work ethic and drive. Lin-Manuel Miranda has both his Sun and Moon in Capricorn, the sign that Saturn rules. Alexander Hamilton, who inspired Lin-Manuel's award winning Broadway show, was also born with his Sun and Moon in Capricorn. It's not unusual for actors who portray a historical figure or authors who write about them to have compatible charts.
Just begin.
The Saturn Return is especially important because it is the first major life cycle. We cross over from youth into adulthood, and, in doing so, we're laying the foundation for all the other cycles and for the rest of our life. No pressure. We don't have to have everything figured out or know all the answers. Our projects may not involve record deals, the red carpet, or the cover of Rolling Stone. Beginnings are often subtle, quiet, and deceptively inauspicious. This cycle can start modestly: we take a few classes at a community college; we apprentice in a bakery; we get sober and join AA; we commit to a relationship. And although we're focused on creating something in the outer world, the Saturn Return is also an inner process; the skills we develop and the relationships we form during this time are helping us to build character.
Mensch is a Yiddish word that literally means “a good person,” but it goes deeper than that. To say someone is a mensch is a great compliment. It has to do with character; a mensch is a decent, noble person, a stand-up guy. He (or she) is the kind of person who strives to always do the right thing, rather than the easy thing. In many ways, the Saturn Return teaches us the necessary skills we need to become a mensch.
Saturn is in a sign for about two and a half years. That doesn't mean you are under pressure all that time. Transiting Saturn generally connects with your birth Saturn two or three times during that period. In a way, you're in Saturn School; when it makes an exact aspect (to your birth Saturn), the final exams take place. The stakes are higher; you push harder, but that's when you receive the rewards.
The middle of the thirties is literally the midpoint of life. The halfway mark. No gong rings, of course. But twinges begin.
—Gail Sheehy, Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life
A little over seven years after its return, Saturn makes an opening square to its natal position. It's like getting our report card: Here's me; here's my life. How am I doing? The Saturn Return at twenty-nine is a conjunction and the most powerful aspect; it signals a beginning, and beginnings have energy, promise, and potential—even those orchestrated by Saturn.
Maybe we decide to start our own company, get pregnant, or quit our corporate job and retreat to a cabin in Maine to write our novel. Just the act of making the decision and taking a stand for something can be energizing. It is the hero starting off on her journey, and, although we may not know the road ahead or how it will turn out, there's a sense of adventure and anticipation. However, at the square, we have to deal with the results of our decision. In a sense, the honeymoon is over.
Seven is a special number; it appears everywhere—from references in occult and religious traditions to the seven days of the week, seven notes in a musical scale, and seven colors of the rainbow. The great teacher Rudolph Steiner taught extensively about the seven-year cycles that continue throughout our life. Edgar Cayce's psychic readings are filled with references to them. The term “seven-year itch” refers to the tension that often occurs in a relationship, causing partners to either divorce or adapt. Which brings us to Saturn. Every seven years, Saturn makes an aspect to its natal position; it takes us back to reality, and we are invited to reevaluate what we are doing in the external world.
In her book Passages, Gail Sheehy gives the example of a crustacean, who, in order to grow, must shed a series of protective shells. She writes: “With each passage some magic must be given up, some cherished illusion of safety and comfortably familiar sense of self must be cast off, to allow for the greater expansion of our own distinctiveness.”
At the Saturn square, there can be success, financial security, maybe even fame. Yet success can bring a whole new set of problems to negotiate. Having a child is a miracle, but it's also demanding. Starting our own company brings more responsibility and less freedom. We may finish our novel and even get it published, but we may be at a loss as to what to write next. There are consequences to be dealt with, adjustments to be made, fine tuning.
No matter what the original vision was, this is often a time to go back to the drawing board. The future may appear less rosy but it's real. The Saturn square at age thirty-six comes right before midlife, which is the next big cycle. It's a period when we naturally begin to question our life and our decisions. Gail Sheehy called this the “Deadline Decade.”
At age twenty-nine, Gloria Steinem wrote her now famous article for Show magazine about the New York Playboy Club. Entitled “A Bunny's Tale,” the article would change her life. At the time, she was not yet a feminist; it was 1963, and the movement was just beginning. But a seed had been planted, and she began to look at things differently. By 1970, the time Saturn made its opening square, she had fully embraced feminism and was recognized as a leader. That same year, Newsweek magazine put Gloria Steinem on the cover. In 1971, Ms. magazine was born, cofounded by Gloria.
But this exposure came at a price. Steinem was criticized by conservatives as well as by the senior women in the feminist movement. The media often reported on her looks and not her message. Steinem's growing fame put her in front of large audiences, which terrified her. Many times she cancelled speaking engagements at the last minute, which resulted in her being blacklisted from some events. Nevertheless, she persevered and found a way to make it work. She joined other women, such as civil rights lawyer Florynce Kennedy, and they spoke to audiences as a team. “Nervousness might still return, like malaria, but mostly I'd learned that audiences turn into partners if you just listen to them as much as you talk,” she wrote in My Life on the Road.
Coinciding with the Saturn square, the Jupiter Return takes place at age thirty-six, bringing fresh energy and optimism. This often concurs with a promotion, raise, or an opportunity to broaden our horizons. Jupiter rules education, higher learning, religion, and long-distance travel. This period can bring opportunities to expand our circle of friends and mentors, who can influence our thinking, values, and ultimately our direction in life. This was certainly true for Gloria Steinem and the many people in politics and the women's movement that she met during this time in her life.
Bill Clinton accomplished a lot during his Saturn Return. Shortly after he married Hillary in October 1975, he announced that he was running for attorney general in Arkansas. He won the election easily, and in 1978, at age thirty-two, he went on to become the youngest governor in the country. He also became the youngest ex-governor. Although he focused on educational reform and improving Arkansas's roads, he was criticized for an unpopular motor vehicle tax and for his handling of the Cuban refugees detained at Fort Chafee. As a result, he lost the reelection in 1980.
Being a Leo, he may have had some of the lion's legendary hubris. It's not unusual for Leos to experience a failure early in their career so as to learn humility. Forced to start over, Clinton apologized for his errors, asked voters to give him another chance, and, by the time Saturn made a square to its natal position, he was elected governor again. He remained in office for ten years, during which he increased Arkansas's economy and transformed the educational system from the worst in the nation to one of the best.
Lin-Manuel Miranda read Ron Chernow's biography of Alexander Hamilton while on vacation in 2007. He was twenty-seven years old and experiencing his Progressed Lunar Return. He was so inspired by the book that he wrote a rap about Hamilton for the White House Evening of Poetry, Music, and Spoken Word, which took place in 2009. At that time, he was having his Saturn Return. By 2012, Miranda was performing a collection of the songs based on the life of Hamilton and referred to as the Hamilton Mixtape. This musical (now just Hamilton) officially opened on Broadway on August 6, 2015, to rave reviews. He was thirty-five years old. Miranda is an excellent example of inspiration (Lunar Return), manifestation (Saturn), and mastery (the Saturn square).
The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.
—Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
I'm a big fan of Brené Brown and her books Daring Greatly and Rising Strong. For me, Daring Greatly is a great metaphor for our Saturn Return. The title comes from Theodore Roosevelt's speech “Citizen of a Republic,” sometimes referred to simply as “The Man in the Arena.” It's about our willingness to step into the arena, engage with our vulnerability, and be seen. In Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution, Brown deals with what happens when we fall. Because, let's face it, if we put ourselves out there, at some point we will stumble; we may fail. For me, Rising Strong represents the Saturn square at thirty-six. It's about examining our choices, making the necessary corrections, and having the courage to continue.
To say that I was drifting during my twenties is an understatement. In the early 1960s, I was nineteen, restless, and confused; so I decided to go to Europe with a one-way ticket and a few hundred dollars. I had begun modeling in high school, but the stress at home plus my eating disorder derailed that dream. I moved to New York and did some acting, but mostly I worked as a dancer in clubs like the Copacabana and the Peppermint Lounge. With that somewhat checkered résumé, I headed to Rome. There was plenty of acting work in American coproductions, as well as in Italian films. And—because the Italians dubbed everything—you didn't even have to speak the language! It was like the Wild West—anything was possible.
I was able to find work immediately in films such as Gidget Goes to Rome, The Pink Panther, and The Agony and the Ecstasy. No major roles, but it was enough to get by. Life in Rome was cheap, colorful, and laid back. Many of the films were shot on location, so I was able to work in places like Belgrade, Budapest, and Greece. I traveled, went to film festivals, met amazing people, and had lots of exciting adventures, but I still didn't have a clue as to what I really wanted. I was passionate about films, but I hated the business of show business. I simply didn't know what else to do. I was young and photogenic. Everyone told me I should be in films, so I went along with it.
After several years, I grew disillusioned with both Rome and acting. I became severely depressed. It was then that I decided to move back to New York City and get into therapy. A producer I knew asked me to collaborate on a screenplay; although the screenplay was never produced, it led to a job as a story editor and screenwriter with a major film company. On the surface, my life may have looked enviable (more film festivals, more travel), but it didn't feel like my life. Truth be told, the job, like everything else I had done up until then, was connected to a man. Could I do something on my own and, if so, what? I was determined to find out. I was passionate about food, so I decided to open a restaurant.
It was the early seventies; the health food craze was gaining momentum, but the food itself was bland and boring, consisting mainly of items like carrot loafs, brown rice, and homemade breads that could sink a ship. I had a vision of healthful food that was also delicious and sensual. I wanted to combine natural ingredients with gourmet recipes. And that's exactly what I did.
In 1974, I opened a natural food restaurant on 10th Street in Greenwich Village called Whole Wheat 'n Wild Berrys. I had never attended culinary school or apprenticed with a chef or even worked in a restaurant, apart from the occasional waitressing job while I was pursuing acting. I had no experience—not something I would recommend, by the way. I had yet another handicap; since my teens, I had suffered from a crippling eating disorder. My life revolved around eating and dieting—the reason I first became interested in health foods. Plus, in 1974, the stock market had plunged—everybody told me it was the worst possible time to go into business. But I sensed it was my time, and I needed to do something.
I didn't realize that I had something on my side: Saturn. I was ready to take on a big challenge; I was even prepared to face my dysfunctional relationship with food and get the monkey—or in this case the muffin—off my back. I remember thinking, “Either I'll end up weighing three hundred pounds, or I'll beat this.”
The world was ready for my vision of natural food, and I was ready to work hard. I loved going to the restaurant every day, coming up with new recipes, working with the staff, connecting with customers. I actually welcomed the long hours and double shifts! Friends wondered why I would give up my life of film festivals and traveling abroad to deal with the craziness of the restaurant business, but I was happy to finally have something to call my own.
I'm not going to lie and say it was always easy—it wasn't. I knew a little about health foods and cooking but nothing about preparing food on a large scale—and even less about the logistics of setting up and running a business. There wasn't a day or an hour when I wasn't having to deal with broken equipment, an unhappy chef, a problem with the food, or a flood in the basement. The most challenging thing of all was that every single day I had to face my worst fears: peanut butter pie, warm scones, moist gingerbread with homemade whipped cream, and lush cheesecake! But I hung in, I learned, I hired better and better people, and I worked really hard. The restaurant became a success, and I thrived. I eventually even healed my eating disorder. Saturn was a superb teacher.
Everyone has a Saturn Return; whether you're an A-list celebrity with an entourage, the president of a country, a waitress, a single parent, or a homeless person. Saturn doesn't exclude anyone, and it doesn't play favorites; it demands the same level of accountability and dedication from each and every one of us.
The rewards of the Saturn Return aren't necessarily flashy, but they are solid. You may not get gift bags and free passes, but ideally you'll receive something more important: self-worth, self-confidence, dignity, maturity, and a way to function in the world.
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.
How to find out where your Saturn is: Thanks to the Internet, it's simple to get a free copy of your birth chart. Simply Google “free astrology chart” and type in your birth information (date, time, and location). Astrodienst, Café Astrology, and Astrolabe are three popular sites. Or just Google, “What sign was Saturn in during [the year you were born].”
Astrologer Steven Forrest (www.forrestastrology.com) offers a selection of excellent computerized astrology reports—both natal chart analysis and transits reports (what's currently happening)—at reasonable prices.
Where we have Saturn is where we have a buried treasure, but it takes tremendous work and effort to unearth it. Saturn is the karmic classroom, the playing field on which we are tested and pushed to our limits. Where we have Saturn is an area that is not fully developed, but if we work hard we can excel. Did you ever fail algebra or French and have to repeat it, maybe more than once? Remember the satisfaction when you finally got it? You mastered something.
If you have enough experiences like that, you start to feel pretty good about yourself. After a while, you gain confidence; you're able to aim higher and go farther. As Stephen Arroyo wrote in his book Astrology, Karma, and Transformation, “A remarkable inner strength can develop from Saturn's pressure, a strength that comes in part from knowing that we have done the required work, earned the results, and taken full responsibility for our own development.”
Saturn is an important planet and a valuable ally. Get to know your own Saturn.
Growing up, those with this Saturn may have been reprimanded for showing off. They want to shine, to feel like a star; often they do, once they find the right vehicle.
Their Greatest Fear: They want desperately to be the center of attention but are terrified people won't like them.
They Need to Learn: To trust their natural instincts, have fun, and not take themselves so seriously. They are here to learn independence, confidence, and especially patience.
Gifts: Combine Aries's pioneering spirit with Saturn's discipline, and you get someone who can bring fresh ideas and bold originality to their chosen field.
Examples: Albert Einstein, Florence Nightingale, Tina Turner, Celine Dion, Jennifer Aniston, Malala Yousafzai
These people may have been poor in childhood, or they grew up wealthy but were raised by nannies and ignored by their parents. They possess a powerful need for financial and emotional security.
Their Greatest Fear: They will lose their home, their money, their position, and end up on the street. These people often have self-esteem issues.
They Need to Learn: Not to place so much importance on material things and to love themselves for who they are and not what they own.
Gifts: Those with this Saturn placement are generous, trustworthy, dependable, and have great endurance. They are savvy about finances and real estate. They love beautiful things and have exquisite taste.
Examples: Pablo Picasso, Mother Teresa, Tina Fey, Bob Dylan, Martha Stewart, Muhammad Ali
Growing up, these people may not have been allowed to express themselves, and they kept their fears bottled up. They may have had difficulty with early education or have a slight learning disability. Often they have a high IQ—their minds just work differently.
Their Greatest Fear: They are afraid of being thought stupid and are self-conscious about their education.
They Need to Learn: They have difficulty confiding in others, but that's precisely what they need to do. Expressing themselves creatively through words or music also helps.
Gifts: Saturn adds discipline and steadiness to the Gemini's natural intelligence giving these people a capacity for thinking, writing, and problem solving. They are extremely curious, engaging conversationalists, and lifelong students.
Examples: Sigmund Freud, Coco Chanel, Billie Holiday, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney
Those with their Saturn in Cancer may have been disappointed or neglected by a parent and as a result seek approval from others. Should they fail to get it, they may build a wall around themselves.
Their Greatest Fear: That they will be homeless or that they don't deserve a nice place to live. Owning a home and land helps. These people have trouble expressing their emotions for fear that they won't be accepted.
They Need to Learn: To be self-sufficient rather than depend on others.
Gifts: Once they heal their own issues, people with this Saturn placement make wonderful parents. They take family very seriously. Deeply caring, they make excellent counselors and loyal friends.
Examples: Napoleon, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Cher, George W. Bush, Angelina Jolie
Those with this placement of Saturn are extremely talented but shy and have a love/hate relationship with the public. They can't go for the glamour; their work must serve a larger purpose.
Their Greatest Fear: Those with Saturn in Leo crave attention and applause but are afraid of the spotlight. They worry that their gift won't be recognized or that it will be criticized.
They Need to Learn: Not to worry about what others think but to look within for the acknowledgment that they crave. They have massive creative blocks but must take their creativity seriously, believe in themselves, and never give up.
Gifts: These people are gifted artists as well, as being brilliant in business and politics. They have a genuine commitment to education.
Examples: Charlie Chaplin, Nelson Mandela, Hillary Clinton, Steven Spielberg, David Bowie, Kanye West
Health and work are their two obsessions. Those with Saturn in Virgo may have grown up around illness; either they are hypochondriacs, or they ignore their bodies. A parent may have had problems holding down a job.
Their Greatest Fear: Being out of work, which is why they often refuse to take a vacation. They fear chaos and often try to control things.
They Need to Learn: These people need to create balance in their lives and to know that they won't be punished if they have some fun. In fact, having fun is absolutely necessary for them.
Gifts: Skilled craftspeople and artists, no one works harder on themselves. These people care deeply for animals and the environment. They possess a strong sense of justice and integrity.
Examples: Bach, Prince Charles, Bruce Springsteen, Pope John Paul II, Richard Gere, Meryl Streep
Libra is the ancient sign of marriage, so this group takes relationships seriously. They often marry young but have a better chance of having a happy union if they wait until they reach their Saturn Return.
Their Greatest Fear: These people are aware that they can disappear in a relationship and are terrified of merging.
They Need to Learn: To develop good boundaries and how to cooperate without giving away too much of themselves. Forgiveness is an important lesson.
Gifts: Since Saturn rules the law, those with this placement make superb lawyers, judges, mediators, and negotiators. More than any other sign, they are willing to work on their relationships issues.
Examples: Maria Callas, Tony Blair, Britney Spears, Roger Federer, Sting, Beyoncé
Many of these people experienced emotional betrayal in childhood or lost a parent through death, divorce, or even simple neglect. This can leave them with scars but also bestows depth and understanding.
Their Greatest Fears: These people crave intimacy but are terrified of their own passion and are afraid to surrender. They fear being financially dependent on anyone.
They Need to Learn: Not to be afraid of their hungers. They need to stop trying to control the world and just live in it.
Gifts: They seem to have some secret ability to rise up from humble beginnings and create great wealth and power. They are true survivors and can succeed at anything they put their minds to.
Examples: Carolos Castaneda, Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey
These people are serious in their pursuit of religion, philosophy, and higher education. They often develop a moral code or philosophy and can become very attached to it.
Their Greatest Fear: Sagittarians, the sign of the gypsy, are terrified of losing their freedom. Their reputation is important to them, and they fear being censored or ridiculed.
They Need to Learn: Patience, patience, and more patience. They need to become less judgmental and lose their “my way or the highway” attitude.
Gifts: They have high ethics and a love of honesty. They have the ability to turn their vision into a reality, inspire people, and attract followers.
Examples: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Jackie Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Michael Jackson, Madonna
This group is unswerving in its desire to succeed; since Saturn is strong in its own sign, they often do. Those among them who are unevolved can be ruthless.
Their Greatest Fear: They're afraid of their hunger for power. They fear authority, so they often become the authority.
They Need to Learn: It's not just about worldly success; they need to find a mission that is worthy of who they are. Becoming less rigid in their attitudes and having a sense of humor helps immensely.
Gifts: They are excellent organizers, extremely hard working, and disciplined. If they work on their issues and proceed with integrity, they can achieve tremendous success.
Examples: Marie Antoinette, Walt Disney, Princess Diana, Bono, Clint Eastwood, Taylor Swift
Saturn can work well in this sign. Their minds are impersonal and scientific; the enlightened ones seek truth and have a strong sense of justice. These people want both freedom and stability.
Their Greatest Fear: They long to be like everyone else and desperately try to fit in.
They Need to Learn: To stop trying to conform; they are unique, which is perfectly okay. They need to learn that emotions are not a sign of weakness.
Gifts: They are dedicated to making this world a better place; if they find the right group or cause, they can create tremendous change. Friendship is their true religion; they're extremely loyal.
Examples: Mozart, Carl Jung, Gloria Steinem, Michelle Obama, Jim Carrey, Brad Pitt
Many with this placement of Saturn grew up in an environment that wasn't safe or rational. As a result, the world often feels unstable; they're easily overwhelmed, which makes them want to escape.
Their Greatest Fear: Fear itself. They are terrified of looking inside and confronting their own darkness, yet that's exactly what they need to do.
They Need to Learn: To find positive escapes (rather than negative ones). To know their vulnerability is their greatest gift. They need solitude and meditation to connect with their inner life.
Gifts: Their sensitivity makes them deeply compassionate; they have the capacity to be great healers, counselors, and artists. They have brilliant imaginations; they are the dreamers and visionaries who inspire the rest of us.
Examples: Sir Isaac Newton, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Kurt Cobain, Robert Redford, the Dalai Lama, Woody Allen
There's a Pain Quotidian café in my neighborhood where I often go to write. It has a large upstairs area that is light and airy and quiet in the late afternoon. I recently got to talking to the manager, Helene. She told she was from Belgium, where she practiced law for five years.
Helene decided that she wanted to work more directly with people and took a job at Pain Quotidian (it's a Belgian company), where she trained to be a manager. They gave her a chance to move to New York to manage one of their locations.
I couldn't resist asking her age. Sure enough, she was twenty-eight. She knew all about the Saturn Return. “Friends told me it's the best age to make a career change.”
I think Sagittarians emerge from the womb with a passport clutched in their tiny little hands. That was certainly true of Petra. After graduating from Cornell with a degree in fine arts, she took off to see the world. She lived in Japan (where she modeled), France (where she has a grant to do art), and Italy.
Back in New York City, she drifted—she did some modeling and worked as a hostess at a trendy SoHo restaurant, but she didn't have any real focus. I remember telling her that it would come together at her Saturn Return. I probably sounded like a broken record.
Petra is one of the most creative people I know; she has a quirky but absolutely charming sense of style. It's not unusual for her to make a dress if she needs something to wear. For a while, Petra designed hats, and actually got them into Lord & Taylor, but she didn't have the financing to continue producing them. Finally, when her Saturn Return came around, she decided to study fashion at FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology). Bingo! It was as if, up to then, she had all the right ingredients but didn't have the recipe. Saturn is the recipe, the formula.
Petra graduated, did an internship in London with knitwear designer Julian McDonald, then found success designing knitwear for Saks Fifth Avenue, DKNY, and Oscar de la Renta.
My niece Hannah always wanted to be a nurse, and with her ambitious Capricorn Moon, she began early. By the time of her Saturn Return, she was running an emergency room in a hospital in Denver. She decided to go back to school to get her BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing), while working full time and making a long commute; a task worthy of Saturn in Virgo in the 6th house.
Jeremy Geffen didn't even begin medical school until his Saturn Return. During his early twenties, he lived at an ashram in Florida. By the time he was twenty-five, he'd decided he wanted to study medicine.
He came to New York and enrolled in Columbia to do his premed; that is when I met him. Jeremy graduated from NYU medical school with honors and went on to become a board-certified oncologist and a pioneer in the field of integrative medicine. His book, The Journey through Cancer: Healing and Transforming the Whole Person, is one of the best on the subject.