BULL

Lying in bed after a few rounds of lovemaking, the fireplace burning in the background, and my old lady cuddled in my arms is a dream I never thought I’d have for myself. In all of my years, I never found a woman I connected to or could see a future with on a permanent level. Occasionally, one would last a few months, but they weren’t brought around the club or my brothers for the simple fact something would always reveal itself and I’d break it off.

Dottie is different. The disparity is so fucking pronounced it’s as though it’s painted across the sky by those pilots who do that kind of shit.

“Tell me about the bunnies?” Dot lazily asks, her voice low and satiated. I turn to face her, a spark of fear zipping through my body, even though there’s no discernable change to her facial expression.

“Bull?” she probes when I don’t immediately respond to her question.

“What is it that you wanna know specifically?” I ask, not wanting to broach that topic. But when we officially became an us, I vowed that I’d never lie to her unless it’s necessary to protect her life or hold anything back from her. So, club business is definitely something she’ll be kept in the dark about, just like the other old ladies.

It’s for their protection more than anything. What they don’t know about they can’t accidentally divulge to the wrong person. But what she’s asking isn’t club business which means it’s fucking fair game.

“The girls said something about vetting them, but covertly skirted around how they’re selected,” she explains.

I’m sure all types of scenarios are swirling around in her mind. Some of them may be true, and yet, some of them may be her overactive imagination at play. Whatever it is, I need to nip the subject in the bud, talk it through, then make her promise to let it go.

I love this woman more than life itself, but I won’t deal with jealousy, there’s no room for it between us. I refuse to allow the bunnies, regardless of if I consider them to be family or not, come between us or be a blister that’ll fester and grow. They are under the umbrella of the club’s protection; there is no getting rid of them, they will always be there underfoot.

Although the good thing, at least for us as a club, is the current crew of bunnies are actually respectful when it comes to the old ladies. The prior ones caused a whole bunch of unnecessary drama for the club, that’s for fucking sure.

“I’m gonna be honest with you, Dot. You’re not gonna like it, but we're gonna hash this shit out anyway, however, you won’t be leaving this bed until it’s been settled between us.” Dottie’s body stiffens, her breathing accelerates, and her skin warms—all outright signs that she doesn’t appreciate the way I dictated the way things are gonna go down.

But I’m a man who’s finally found the missing half of his soul, and there’s no way in fuck I’ll let my past keep her from me. Her reaction, however, is a subtle warning that maybe I should be more diplomatic.

It’s a warning I blatantly miss, that’s for fucking sure. If I could kick my own ass or better yet, find someone to build a time machine so I could start over, I would. Since that’s not a possibility, I forge forward, hoping I can salvage the situation.

“Well then,” she sulks, her voice full of sass and vinegar, “by all means, share away.” The slight wave of her hand increases my irrational ire about the whole topic.

“Don’t be cheeky, Dot,” I snap.

I’m not mad at her per se, but I am damn well livid with the fact that I haven’t told her shit yet about the initiation process and she’s already wanting to challenge and argue with me.

“If you can’t handle the truth, Polka Dot, maybe we should drop this conversation now before things get heated.”

“I can handle it,” she vehemently says, calming down, trying to reassure me. “I just got testy because it made you tense up. It yanked my chain and set off my paranoia radar, is all.”

“I’m gonna trust your word that you’re good, Dottie, and tell you about the process. However, I’m gonna reiterate this, and I want you to listen to everything and try to be compassionate. I’m asking you to dig deep and understand that not everyone grew up with an idyllic childhood like you did. Swear to me that if you get pissed you won’t run, you’ll stay here with me in bed and deal with whatever feelings this’ll evoke inside of you and move on.” She nods her head but doesn’t verbally reply. “Words, Dot. I need to hear it from your mouth.”

“I swear, Bull. I won’t let my emotions rule me. I’ll think it all through, ask questions, and be sympathetic.”

Sighing, I beg the Man above to help me get through this turbulent conversation that I’m sure will turn into some sort of confrontation and blaming. A good, wholesome girl like my Polka Dot isn’t going to easily let this go. She’s gonna harp on the fact that we use the girls for our carnal desires. It’s been an argument before when one of the men has found their old lady. All but Country, who hooked up with Gunner’s sister, Charlee, who grew up in our lifestyle knowing the roles of the bunnies. Doesn’t mean Charlee’s crazy about them or the process either, but she has the advantage my Dottie doesn’t; she’s been dealing with them her whole entire life. Dot has been thrust into it all thanks to the fucking Crumley brothers and their asshole ways. I wasn’t able to ease her into it and I’m sure if she’s heard about them, it’s with the skewed outlook the old ladies may have.

Fuck my life. I’m not looking forward to this one single bit.

“I know their job is to ‘entertain’ the single men and keep them happy, I don’t need that part explained, but the word tryout was used, and that wording doesn’t sit well with me, Bull. That’s what I need to learn about so can you explain what it means, please?”

“There’s three steps into bringing a bunny into the club,” I begin. “First, they only get through our gates if someone we trust invites them in. If some of the guys are attracted to them, they’ll introduce them to Gunner and Kruger. As our pres and VP it’s up to them to decide if they feel they’ll be a good fit and mesh well with the club. Second, if they pass the first phase, we’ve added a step, they have to get through Charlee and Cameron.

“If those two girls aren’t convinced that the women won’t abide by the old lady's rules and regulations while also showing them the respect they deserve, that’s where things end and the road stops for them. If, however, the old ladies get a good vibe from them, they give the thumbs up to our officers and we get to the initiation part, or tryout, as you’ve heard used by most of the members in the club. Once the ladies that want to become a bunny have the rules of the club laid out and are informed of what they’ll be doing, we move on to that last phase. There’s a reason why we do this. Some brothers have kinks, some like things a little on the rougher side, and others want a willing participant who’ll happily play the role of a submissive in the bedroom. During this tryout time, we each get a chance to bed them, test out our compatibility, and make sure the woman’s not gonna freak out afterward.”

“You all… one right after another.” Her face scrunches up, whether it’s in disgust or revulsion, I can’t be completely sure, and she sits up before crawling out of my arms. Her expression is now carefully guarded, but I’m still on edge based on her initial reaction.

“Dot.” I let loose a warning growl. “You promised.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I do need to process though so put your alpha away, Bull.”

“Crawl back into my arms,” I order.

“No. Not yet,” she asserts. “Give me a minute here to wrap my head around this.”

“Okay,” I finally submit, not wanting to push her until she’s had time to organize and categorize the things shuffling around in her mind. It probably doesn’t help that I’m set in my ways when it comes to my beliefs and views, especially where it pertains to my club and my brothers.