Chapter 21

 

The sun moved higher in the sky, beating down hot unrelenting heat that clung to Caleb’s skin. His mouth was drier than the Patagonian Desert, and he was desperate to soothe it. It had been awhile since he had tried to move, so he gave it another attempt only to collapse almost as quickly.

Pain shot through his thigh and right to his stomach, sending waves of nausea through him. He pressed his fist into the hard ground, trying to divert his attention away from the excruciating pain that was reducing him to a puddle of futility.

He had already lost so much blood thanks to the jagged broken tree branch that pierced through his skin, leaving a huge hole in his upper thigh. He probably would have been better off leaving it where it had impaled him, since when he’d pulled it out, blood shot out like a geyser.

The tourniquet he’d made with his shirt helped quench the bleeding, but the pain was a whole other story.

Weak from blood loss and growing hotter by the second, he needed water to keep him from becoming delirious.

It was a good thirty or so feet to his bike, but maybe there was a smidge of water left in his bottle. He used his elbows to drag himself back to his bike, opened his water bottle, and held his tongue out shaking the bottle in hopes that even a single drop would fall free.

When nothing hit his tongue, anger surged through his veins and he threw the bottle, letting out a string of curses.

Once the anger ran its course, he dragged himself to the nearest tree only a couple feet away and rested against it. He leaned his head back and stared past the tree tops to the bright blue sky.

“Milo, got myself in a real mess here. Doesn’t seem fair that they took you when I’m the one that can never get anything right. You would’ve packed extra water, remembered to grab your phone, put sunscreen on.” A sob caught in his throat as he thought about all the adventures they’d gone on. How every single time Caleb made fun of him for being over prepared, but in the end, Caleb was always hitting up his extra water, or bumming a protein bar from him.

Caleb might’ve been older, but Milo was always wiser. He would know exactly what to do right now. But he wasn’t here and as much as Caleb missed his brother, he wasn’t ready to cross the big bridge in the sky to see him again.

One day he would be ready, but that day wasn’t today.

“I love her,” he said as if his brother were sitting across from him. “It’s different this time. I thought I loved Gia, but I realize now I just loved the idea of her. I should’ve listened to you. You never liked her, even if you never came out and said it. But Kate. My god you would’ve loved Kate. She’s smart and beautiful, kind-hearted and fun. She also doesn’t take my shit. She’s not afraid to call me out, and she doesn’t back down.”

Overcome with emotion, he shook as another sob rose in his throat, but no tears filled his eyes. “I wish you could meet her. I wish that you were here to stand at my side when she walks down the aisle to be my wife because if I survive this, I’m marrying that girl.”

He let the words linger in the air as his own thoughts consumed him. What if nobody found him? What if nobody cared enough to even know he was missing?

***

Kate’s t-shirt clung to her skin as she scoured the woods, looking for any sign of Caleb. Matt was a good fifty-feet to her right, and Hadley was about the same distance to her left. Mason and Cooper were bringing up their rear.

They had been at it for only twenty minutes, but with each passing second Kate’s fear became harder and harder to squelch.

A small square sign with a black diamond painted on it indicated a turn of the main trail that would bring them into harder terrain and a more difficult path to maneuver. Being on foot they had an advantage, but it was still challenging.

Kate didn’t want the older volunteers taking their chances on the black diamonds, but Kate knew Caleb, and she knew he’d take this route, especially if his ride was fueled by emotion. She called out to Matt, and when he looked toward her, she pointed toward the cutoff of the trail.

Matt nodded and changed course, following Kate. All her siblings followed while Matt briefly stopped to tell the rest of the volunteers to keep on track and they would meet when the two trails reconvened.

Kate took a sip of water then swiped at the sweat beading on her forehead.

“How you holding up?” Matt asked, coming up behind her.

“The best I can, given the circumstances.”

“We’ll find him,” he said.

“Everyone keeps saying that, but as the clock ticks, my hope ticks away with it.”

“We just got started. Don’t lose hope so soon.” He squeezed her shoulder then walked ahead of her, scanning the surroundings to his right while Kate looked left.

“Caleb!” she called out his name again, her throat beginning to go hoarse. She cleared her throat and called for him again, hoping and praying that she’d hear his voice, but just like last time, he didn’t call back to her.

***

It was getting harder and harder to focus. Caleb tried to keep his attention on the tree across from him, but it swayed and moved as if it was dancing to the beat of the chirping birds.

“Hang on, buddy,” he heard and forced his eyes back open.

“Milo? What are you doing here?”

“Got bored watching over you. Thought I’d come down and say hi.”

“Any bright ideas on how to get me out of here?”

“Have hope.”

“I lost hope the day you died.”

Milo knelt down beside him, his head hanging down, his brown hair that was in need of a haircut like always, fell forward. After a minute, he looked up, pushing his hair back. “I know and I hate that I took it away from you. But you found a good thing here. Don’t ruin it because you’re scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

A humorous smile spread across Milo’s face. “You don’t have to be brave for me anymore, big brother. I know you’re scared, and that’s okay. Just don’t let that fear make you lose out on the best thing that ever happened to you because she’s not going anywhere.”

“How do you know? You weren’t supposed to go anywhere. Mom, too. Everyone I love leaves me.”

“Isn’t it better to have loved and lost than never to love at all?”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“It’s a great quote. Think about it for a second. All those memories of Mom singing in the car, slapping her hand against the steering wheel and handing us whatever she could grab to jump in as her backup singers. The way she’d smile when we’d bring home some crappy ass drawing from school and act as if it was a work of art that belonged in the Museum of Fine Arts. Or all the trips you and me took. All the epic adventures of going off the grid and just riding until our legs felt like they’d explode. The nights where we’d find a local bar to catch up and share a beer and wings. If you had the chance to erase it from your memory, so you wouldn’t know the pain of loss, would you?”

Caleb thought about it for a second, but he didn’t even need to spend that long on it. He knew the answer deep in his heart. “Never.” Those moments were what defined him as a person and he would never trade them for anything in the world. Those moments, small and insignificant taught him how to love and even though it hurt like hell to know it and lose it, it was worth every tear and every heartbreaking breath that came after.

“Caleb?”

“Yeah, Milo.”

“Time for me to go.”

“No,” he cried out, reaching his hand out, but not having the energy to do anything else.

“I’m leaving you in good hands.”

“Don’t leave. Not yet. We still have so much to talk about.”

Milo stepped away, his body beginning to blend in with their surroundings. “I’m always listening,” he said then disappeared into the sunlight.

Caleb rubbed at his eyes, knowing there was no way his brother had been there. When his hands fell away, he was alone. With all the energy he could muster, he looked around, but there was no one there.

He was losing his damn mind. If he didn’t get out of there soon, he had no idea what was going to happen to him.

He closed his eyes and thought about Kate. Seeing her face, those bluish green eyes full of depth were like listening to the ocean. A calm washed over him as she came into view. Her hair was pulled back, highlighting the soft lines of her face, that cute little nose and those perfect lips.

“Caleb?” Her voice was like a caress against his heated skin. “Caleb!” Her voice was louder, more panicked as if he was being ripped away from her, but he wasn’t. He was right here. He’d always be here for her.

“I’m here,” he said with a smile touching the edges of his lips.

He felt her hand against his cheeks and forehead, savored the touch.

“Are you hurt?”

“Not anymore,” he managed.

“He’s over here. I need help!”

“No,” Caleb said. “Just hold me. That’s all I need.”

“He’s disoriented,” he heard before everything went black.

***

Kate refused to leave Caleb’s side, even when they loaded him into the ambulance. She jumped right in and took his hand in hers, needing to feel his skin against hers, needing to know that she had found him and he would be fine.

Now she understood how Caleb felt that day when she had fallen off the bike. Seeing him propped up against that tree, unmoving, her heart had nearly stopped. It wasn’t until she heard him muttering that her heart resumed its steady beat.

He would be okay, and when he finally was strong enough, she was going to kill him for all the fear and pain he had caused her.

She held his hands to her lips just as he’d done to her so many times and stroked his knuckles with her thumb. She had no idea if he could feel her touch, but she didn’t care. He was so scared of people leaving him, and she needed to prove to him that she wasn’t going anywhere.