| |
They’d been at the ranch for over a week while Carolyn recovered from her illness.
The doctor had said her lungs were infected and it could have been hovering there since her last illness. If they left before she was fully recovered, she might never get well.
Aunt Doe reassured Sally there was no way of knowing this would happen, but still the guilt ate heavily at her. If she hadn’t been in such a hurry to find Matthew, would Carolyn be this sick? She couldn’t help but feel partly at fault.
But Aunt Doe kept Sally busy. She’d fit into the routine at the ranch as easily as a custom-made slipper.
It was almost Christmas.
Aunt Doe was thrilled they’d be spending the holiday with her. She and Moss were sparking, and her joy was infectious.
Sally hated the thought of being away from Matthew at Christmas. She’d never been away from her children before Luke took Matthew and the holiday only intensified her feelings.
Rob and Moss rode out to find a tree while Carolyn and Sally made decorations for it. Carolyn still had a cough, but the fever had gone.
The men came back with a big, fat tree that barely fit through the door. They set it in the corner near the fire and stood back to admire it.
Sally had bundled Carolyn up and carried her out to watch the goings on.
Carolyn pointed toward the top of the tree. “Look, Mama, a bird’s nest! I want to see the baby birds.”
Rob stretched to his fullest height to peer into it. “It’s empty, but let’s leave it there.”
“Maybe Saint Nicholas will bring me a baby bird. Mama, that can be my one special gift.”
Carolyn had talked for three days about the one special gift Saint Nicholas would bring.
She wanted a fancy doll.
Sally knew the others were aware her little girl would have no gifts.
Aunt Doe seemed to sense her embarrassment. “Tonight after dinner we’ll decorate the tree. We’ll make cookies and popcorn and sing songs.”
“Mr. Rob can play the guitar.”
Carolyn hadn’t forgotten the promise he’d made at Mr. Huckabee’s campsite to play the guitar for her.
“But I don’t have guitar, little one,” Rob said.
“Well, now, I just might have an old guitar around here somewhere,” Aunt Doe said.
Carolyn clapped her hands, which brought on a new bout of coughing.
“Stay still,” Sally warned. “Or I’ll have to put you back in bed.”
“If Aunt Doe can find a guitar, I’ll play it for you tonight,” Rob promised.
They gathered for a supper of stew, biscuits and dried tomato pie. Carolyn had her appetite back, an encouraging sign.
After supper Sally helped clean up then Aunt Doe went to find items to decorate the tree. She returned with ribbons and dried fruit, paper to cut and popcorn.
Rob popped the corn over the fireplace while the women helped Carolyn cut out figures to tie to the tree with ribbons.
“Got to go work in the barn.” Moss slipped out the door.
Later, Rob went to tell Moss the celebration was ready.
Moss was working on his project. He nailed one board to another. “Well, now, let me jus’ finish this here piece.”
“What is it?”
“Jus’ a little somethin’ fer Carolyn.” Moss stood and stretched his back.
“You should smell the cookies Aunt Doe made. That woman can cook up a storm.”
Moss nodded. “She sure do make good cookies. I remember that from when she was a girl.”
The freshly fallen snow crunched as they walked across the yard leading to the house. It glittered in the evening light. Inside, the scents of popcorn, cookies and pine filled the air, while the fire crackled in the hearth.
Rob spotted the old guitar Aunt Doe had placed in the corner of the room and went over to tune it.
“It hasn’t been used in some time,” Aunt Doe said. “One of my boys left it here. He angered another man by mistakenly shooting his horse then he rode off in the night, and I never heard from him again.”
“Must’ve been a green hand to shoot a horse.” Moss chuckled.
“Or a terrible shot,” Rob added.
“He was a fairly nervous lad. Young, had only been here a week. Most of our hands were off to the war. We were left with young boys and men who wouldn’t fight except among themselves.” Aunt Doe shook her head. “Those were hard times, those war years. We barely made it through.”
“Is that why you’re sending cattle north in winter?” Rob asked.
“Yes. I should’ve sent the men on the trail last fall, but Sam was so close to death I didn’t want to leave his side. I had no time for the ranch. Many of the hands left for other jobs. I couldn’t blame them. I buried Sam a week before Thanksgiving.”
“Wished I’d a been here to hep ye,” Moss said.
“Our trail boss stayed along with our cook. I thought we’d pick up boys like we always have in the past, but it was so late, finding hands was hard.” Aunt Doe sighed. “I didn’t think I could wait it out until spring. There’s plenty of land, but there’s too much pressure to sell it cheap. Plenty of men came with offers. Some friendly and some not so friendly. But to stay on I have to pay my hands. And my cousin in Missouri agreed to buy the cattle for a fair price. So I’m selling them off.”
“Them cattle is bound to be lean an’ ye ken lose half o’ yer herd time they get ’em to Missouri,” Moss said. “Ye sure ye ken trust them hands?”
“Yes.” Aunt Doe smiled. “I need to get out of the cattle business. I’m too old for it. I thought I’d spend one last winter here then move into town. I haven’t decided what to do about this house yet though.”
“Well, now.” Moss said.
“This is my last Christmas in this house and look at what I’ve been gifted with. A ready-made family. It’s as if I’d had children and grandchildren.” She looked over to where Carolyn played. “I never thought to hear the sounds of children here.”
Rob cleared his throat. “Let’s see how this thing sounds.” He began to play a few tunes.
Carolyn sat enthralled.
The others recognized the tune of “Silent Night” and started singing.
When they’d sung all the songs Rob knew, Moss said, “Let’s step out onto the porch. Them stars is bright on the fresh snow. It’s a purty night.”
Carolyn slipped her hand into Rob’s, linking Rob, Carolyn and Sally in a human chain.
Sally saw the look that passed between Aunt Doe and Moss as they smiled at each other.
This felt like a real family even if Sally could only imagine it so. No law or blood joined this group, but their heartstrings tied them to each other.
It proved to be a miracle that the trail had brought the little group together and dropped them right into Aunt Doe’s mournful but welcoming heart. Even more so that this journey had brought Aunt Doe and Ozzie Moss back together again after all these years.
Aunt Doe grasped Moss’s hand and squeezed it as she looked across her land sparkling under the stars.
No one spoke. There was no need for words. The stars and the crispness of the evening would be etched on Sally’s memory for a lifetime.
Then Aunt Doe said, “Children must be in bed for Saint Nicholas to come.”
Carolyn was too tired to argue. She even took the cough medicine without complaint.
Sally tucked her in and kissed her forehead before singing her to sleep.
When Sally rejoined the adults, all sat silently.
Rob nursed a glass of scotch and stared into the fire.
Aunt Doe’s eyes softened as she watched the back of Moss’s head. Then she noticed Sally’s presence and stood. “Come with me, I have some things to show you.”
Sally followed her into a room filled with old trunks.
Aunt Doe stooped to unlock a trunk and pull out a china doll from underneath a quilt. “This is for Carolyn, from Saint Nicholas.”
“Oh, but I couldn’t,” Sally said.
She had no gift for her little girl, but she couldn’t accept this beautiful china doll. It was too dear.
“Yes, you can and you will,” Aunt Doe insisted, placing the doll into Sally’s hands. “This was meant for the daughter I never had. She needs a good home.”
Sally held the doll in her hands, its blue eyes and black hair striking against its pale face.
She’d always dreamed of being able to give Carolyn a doll like this, one that wouldn’t fall apart the way sun babies or rag dolls did.
The blue dress emphasized the doll’s blue eyes. Carolyn would love it.
“Thank you,” she whispered, past the lump in her throat.
“Thank you for sharing your precious child with me.” Aunt Doe placed her hand over Sally’s. “Now come, I have something for you too.” She reached into another trunk and removed a green velvet dress trimmed in gold lace.
“Oh,” Sally gasped. “It’s beautiful.”
Aunt Doe held up the dress. It was out of fashion but still elegant and looked as if it had never been worn.
Sally touched the fabric, feeling its softness as her eyes took in the rich color.
“You must try it on. I think it will fit, but we may need to alter it some.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say.” Aunt Doe took the doll from Sally’s hands. “Try the dress on now, it’s getting late.”
Sally slipped out of her old dress and into the green velvet and Aunt Doe fastened the buttons in the back.
The dress fit as if it had been made especially for Sally.
Aunt Doe drew her toward the mirror in the corner.
“Oh,” Sally sighed.
“It looks lovely on you.”
Sally took in the sight of her figure in the beautiful dress. It actually made her look pretty, not like a worn-out woman. The deep green dress brought out her skin tones and the red-gold color of her hair.
Aunt Doe rummaged until she found several green ribbons to match the dress. She stood behind Sally and pinned her hair up.
“Now with a little curl here...” she tucked at a piece, “...and a little curl there...” she moved to the other side, “...your dance card would be filled every evening.”
Tears streamed down Sally’s cheeks. “Oh, Aunt Doe, you have no idea...” She reached up to swipe at her tears. “My dance card...” she shook her head, “I’d never danced with anyone until Luke. And then he...”
Aunt Doe put her arm around Sally’s shoulders. “Why don’t you tell me about it, my dear.”
Sally unburdened her life story. She told of the beatings and the horrible things Luke had done to her. Things she’d never told another living soul.
She cried until she was all cried out. When she was done, Aunt Doe’s eyes were misty as well.
“Sally, do you still love Luke?”
“I did once. But he wasn’t the man I thought him to be. All I ever wanted was for him to be a good husband and father.”
Aunt Doe sighed. “Even good men aren’t always ready to settle down, Sally. Sometimes they take a long time.”
“I used to think it was something I did that made him act that way. Because he’d been so different before we married. And afterwards, all he ever did was complain. I had no idea he’d lied to me from the start.”
“Some men are no good. You can’t change them.”
“I’m glad he’s gone. But he didn’t have to take Matthew.” Sally’s hands fisted. “He didn’t have to steal my son.”
Aunt Doe was silent for a moment. “Tell me, Sally, what did you love about him? What made you fall in love?”
“He’s tall and slim, very handsome. I used to watch him practice dealing cards on our kitchen table. He has long slender hands. It’s almost pretty the way they move when he deals a hand, though I never liked card playing. I guess it was his looks and his smooth talking ways that made me fall for him.”
“Yes, but what qualities of his did you love?”
“He was kind to me after Papa died. But I wouldn’t say he has many good qualities.”
Whatever redeeming qualities Luke had once had he’d drowned with whiskey and lies.
“And how is he with the children?”
“He doesn’t like children,” Sally said abruptly.
“I see. Then it doesn’t make sense his taking Matthew.”
“No. It doesn’t, unless he wanted to get back at me for something. He hated the farm. But I never thought he’d leave. I never thought he’d steal Matthew.”
“What did he do before you met him?”
“I don’t know. He wouldn’t talk about his past.”
Aunt Doe drew her near and gave her a hug. “Sally, I’ll pray that you find them so you can get your son back. But you need to settle things with Luke before you can start a new life. You must clear the air.”
Sally listened to her advice, but it was useless in her situation. Luke hadn’t discussed things with her when they were married. He was unlikely to do it now.
“There are plenty of other men out there. Good men. You’re young. You can love again. But you don’t want the shadow of Luke hanging over your life when you find a good one.”
“I gave my whole heart once, and it wasn’t enough.”
“But you gave it quickly and to the wrong man. The best love is one that grows slowly over time.”
“Our marriage wasn’t even legal. I think he just wanted my inheritance.”
Aunt Doe inhaled sharply. “Then he’s not legally entitled to Matthew either.”
Sally sat in shock. It was so obvious. But it simply hadn’t occurred to her.
“You’ll be wiser next time.” Doe hugged her again. “It’s late. We must get the presents ready.”
They settled Carolyn’s doll under the tree.
Rob watched from his seat near the fire. He looked as if his thoughts were far away. He stretched his long legs casually before him and looked over at her.
Sally wanted to cry. She was too emotional from her talk with Aunt Doe to speak to him right now. And he reminded her of Luke, sitting there with the glass in his hand, but he didn’t glare at her like Luke used to do.
She’d never been around Rob when he’d been drinking, though she’d seen him glance at saloons as they rode past. She hoped he wasn’t the heavy drinker Luke had been. Men who drank made her nervous.
How quiet he was nursing that glass. What was he thinking?
“It seems to me that everyone is tired,” Aunt Doe said. “I suggest we get some sleep. Carolyn will likely be up early.”
The men went back to the barn, and Sally went to her room, but not to sleep. She kept reviewing her conversation with Aunt Doe.
Her last waking thoughts before she drifted off to sleep were of Matthew. She hoped Luke remembered to give him a gift for Christmas. That had always been her job. With silent tears she hugged her pillow and prayed for her missing son.
Her sleep turned into a nightmare.
She’d found Luke in a dirty little town full of men with guns. The dark musty house he’d hidden Matthew in had no windows and only one door.
Luke shot the bar across the door to lock it and stepped menacingly toward her. He grabbed her arms and shook her. “Why’d you come here, woman? Did you bring the law?”
“I came for Matthew. My son needs his mother.”
“He doesn’t need you.”
“Yes, he does.” She looked at Matthew who sat tied to a chair in the corner.
Luke slapped her face. “I thought I taught you never to sass me.” He yanked off his belt and began flailing at her. “I’ll teach you for good this time.”
As the beating grew fiercer, Sally screamed for help. But no one came.
Just as she called for Rob and he burst open the door, she woke with a start.
Carolyn bounced on the bed, a big grin on her face.
Sally rubbed her head, disoriented, hoping to ease the headache that now pounded.
Her dream had been a warning.
“Mama, get up.” Carolyn pushed her on the shoulder.
Sally sat up.
“Hurry, Mama.” Carolyn bounced again. “I want to see if Saint Nicholas has come.”
Sally rose and splashed cold water on her face. Her bleary face in the mirror showed no bruises, and she told herself it had only been a dream. But some marks never showed.
She was well familiar with those. The dream had left her feeling slightly sick and Carolyn
was tugging at her hand.
“Come on, Mama.”
She put on the green dress and tied her hair up in the ribbons. Aunt Doe had been kind in giving her the dress. Though she felt no joy this Christmas morning, she’d show how much she enjoyed the gift by wearing it.
Carolyn’s eyes sparkled in fascination. She’d never seen her Mama look so fancy. She kept running her hands along the sides of the green skirt, touching the velvet.
“Mama, you look like a dolly. So pretty.”
Sally hugged Carolyn.
How precious her little girl was. She wanted to protect her and give her a home where no bad things happened.
Carolyn squirmed. “Are you ready?”
“When the others wake, we’ll see what Saint Nicholas brought you,” Sally said.
Carolyn tiptoed into Aunt Doe’s room with her hands behind her back. “Aunt Doe,” her voice sang. “Wake up.”
Aunt Doe peeked one eye open. “Do I hear a little bird calling me?”
“Yes, a baby bird and he’s in my nest.”
Sally called to her from the doorway. “Come, Carolyn, let Aunt Doe alone so she can get dressed.”
Carolyn ran over to her and held her hand. “Mama, I want to see the baby bird in the nest.”
“Remember, Carolyn, the bird’s nest is empty. There isn’t any baby bird.”
Rob came in just in time to hear the last part of their conversation.
He came up behind Sally, touched her on the shoulder and she jumped as if scorched.
He frowned. What was wrong with her?
Sally stepped around him and followed Carolyn as she danced into the kitchen.
Rob poured the coffee he’d made earlier.
Sally seemed out of sorts this holiday morning. Was it because she missed her boy? It had to be hard on her.
Rob knew just the thing to take her mind off of Matthew temporarily, but that could wait until this evening. He planned to kiss her again.
Listening to Moss lament about the years wasted that he could have been with Aunt Doe had made Rob rethink the feelings he had for Sally. Maybe she’d turn away from him once he took care of Luke. But they were here now and the feelings between them were strong. He would take things as far as she’d let him. And hope it would be enough.
He watched her move about the room. The green dress fit her like a glove and was meant for touching.
Perhaps she’d had thoughts similar to his. If she’d worn the dress for him, well the effect was working. He wanted to touch her but he’d restrain himself.
He’d hinted to Moss and Aunt Doe that he wanted some time alone with Sally this evening and they seemed agreeable.
It was their last evening at the ranch, and he wanted it to be memorable. Memorable enough that when Sally saw Luke again, she’d have no thought of going back to him.
Inside her shy, nervous exterior there burned a passionate woman. Tonight he’d unleash that passion.
He’d been thinking about one thing for some time.
Some “no’s” really meant “yes”.
She’d wanted him to kiss her. There was no mistake about that. Her initial response had proved it.
But perhaps he’d been too much the gentleman. Tonight, one way or the other, he’d have his answer.