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Carolyn woke Sally early by bouncing on the bed and asking when they’d eat breakfast.
Only a few people had come downstairs for the morning meal. Diana had made scrambled eggs, ham and golden biscuits.
Sally and the children had extra helpings, with Diana insisting the food would go to waste if they didn’t eat it.
“I don’t know why I cook so much on New Year’s Day,” she said. “There are never enough folks to eat it. But the one time I don’t fix it, they’ll all be up early. The lunch crowd will likely be a sorry looking bunch, and I won’t need much food.”
Mostly women gathered at the table, and Sally enjoyed their conversation. The woman in the blue dress turned to her. “I’m surprised you aren’t wearing mourning.”
“I don’t own a black dress. There hasn’t been time to make one with all the arrangements to be made.”
The woman reached for a biscuit. “There are plenty in the general store.”
The woman was either being helpful or critical. Sally wasn’t sure which. “Thank you.”
She changed the subject and asked one of the other boarders how far it was to Galveston. If she were going to choose a place to live, she’d better start asking questions.
Rob was right, she needed to make a decision. It would be nice to live near the ocean. The children would enjoy that.
The woman in the blue dress persisted. “When do the funerals take place?”
“In two days.”
Conversation hovered around the topic of the men to be buried, until Sally had had enough and took the children back to their room.
She was sitting on the bed wondering how much a new dress would cost when there was a knock on the door.
It was Diana. “Come with me.”
Sally and the children followed her down the hall to a tiny room. Diana reached into her pocket, removed a key then unlocked the door and swung it open.
Traveling bags, trunks and shoes filled the room. Clothing lay folded and stacked on shelves.
“This is where I store the things people leave behind. If they don’t come back to claim it, I give it away where I see the need,” she explained. “You might find something suitable here. I’ll leave you to look through these and be back in a bit. Take what you want.”
The children helped Sally look through the trunks and bags. There were fancy hats with feathers and plumes, cowboy hats and worn-down boots, dresses, men’s pants and shirts, long johns and frilly ladies’ underthings.
Carolyn tried on several of the hats. She giggled as they slipped down over her head.
Sally smiled at her daughter then turned her attention back to the task at hand. In the bottom of the last trunk, she found a black dress. Despite it being huge, Sally could take it in and make it fit if she worked on it all day and evening. The only black hat she’d found had long plumes and had obviously belonged to a lady of the evening. Maybe she could do something with it.
A little while later, Diana returned. “Did you find anything?”
Sally held the items out to her. “Is this all right?”
“Why sure,” Diana said with a laugh. “That hat belonged to a woman who came here looking for her man. She took off in the wee hours after he’d snuck out the window trying to get away. She followed him right out that window and rode her horse through town still wearing her red chemise. Left that red dress over there with the black lace trim and the hat.” She walked over to the dress. “You might take the lace off the dress and do something with it.”
“Oh, yes, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“And that black dress belonged to a large woman who died here after choking on a chicken bone. I never saw a woman who could eat so much. Fairly swallowed her food whole without chewing. Her death didn’t surprise me, but I was afraid for a time that I’d lose customers who thought it was my cooking. It scared me silly. I don’t ever serve fried chicken any more unless someone asks for it special.”
Sally held the black dress up. She could fit two of herself inside the billowy silk gown.
Diana laughed as Carolyn put a pair of ladies gloves on that came to her shoulders. “You just go on and have fun with those, you sweet thing. You’ll grow into them.”
Sally thanked her and walked to their room with her things. She laid them on the bed and made a mental note of what she’d need for the alterations. Needle, pins, thread, scissors.
“Let’s go to the store, children.”
“Can we go see Mr. Rob?” Carolyn asked.
“Not until later.”
The children looked around the general store, and Sally let them pick out candy while she shopped. It didn’t take long for her to get the supplies she needed.
She returned to her room, settled herself on the floor and began cutting and pinning.
All she needed was a basic dress. She’d wear it for Moss but not Luke. She couldn’t mourn him.
Carolyn played with her new gloves and seemed content.
Matthew sat in a corner whittling a piece of wood he’d found. The knife had belonged to Moss, and Matthew was trying to teach himself how to carve with it. He worked slowly and methodically, a small frown of concentration on his forehead.
“Be careful with that knife, Matthew.”
“Yes, Mama, I am.”
The call came for supper, and they went downstairs. Sally asked the children to eat quickly so she could return to her sewing. The dress had to be done by tomorrow evening. She’d have to work all night.
After dinner, Carolyn asked, “Mama, can we go see Mr. Rob?”
“Not tonight.”
Back in their room, Sally sewed. With no sewing machine it was slow and tedious work. She didn’t waste time trying to make the dress special in any way. It was very plain.
The children put themselves to sleep as she sewed into the wee hours of the morning. Her eyes grew tired, dry and sore from focusing on the tedious tiny stitches as she worked by the dim light of the lamp. Her fingers bled when she missed and jabbed them.
Her head drooped as she sat on the floor leaning against the bed, and she woke with a jerk.
How long had she been sitting like this?
Finally, she stopped and slept on the bed in her dress, not bothering to remove her shoes.
When she woke, Matthew and Carolyn weren’t in the room. Panic seized her. She swung open the door, ready to do battle with the devil himself.
Then she saw them coming up the stairs. Relief flooded her senses. “Where have you been?”
“Breakfast,” Matthew replied. “I can take care of Carolyn, Mama. Go on back to sleep.”
“No, I have work to do.” She herded the children into the room then picked up the dress. She held it up. Plain it would be, but she’d do something with the hat.
She took off the plumes and let Carolyn have them to play with.
Carolyn giggled.
Sally removed the lace from the red dress and fashioned a veil, sewing the strips of lace together. She tried it on. It looked like a dark wedding veil as the long pieces of lace hung down over her head. How fitting.
“White to black,” she said.
By midday, she’d completed the entire outfit. She tried it on before the mirror. Oddly enough the simplicity of the lines fit her form in a striking way. She smoothed her hands down past her hips, feeling the black silk.
She hadn’t intended it to fit her like that.
Carolyn tugged on the dress. “Mama, now can we go see Mr. Rob?”
“Yes. I’m finished.” And she needed to talk Rob into resting instead of going to the funeral with her.
They left the room with Sally carrying the hat. Carolyn skipped ahead of her singing and Matthew walked behind her keeping an eye on his sister. As Sally passed women on the street, she heard the comments again.
“Isn’t that the woman who shot her husband?”
Heat stole into Sally’s face. Luke wasn’t her husband.
“Yes, he was an outlaw and she a sporting woman.”
“Look at her dress and that red hair.”
“Black widow.”
“She’s been visiting that man who was shot. I heard she entertains him right there in the doctor’s office.”
Sally felt their eyes on her. She held her head high as she walked down the busy street, but her cheeks flamed and she was helpless to halt her embarrassment.
She was completely absorbed in herself when she suddenly saw Rob in the middle of the street.
He walked toward her with a strange expression.
She felt the blood drain from her face.
She rushed up to him. “Rob! You shouldn’t be out of bed.” He grasped her by the elbows. “Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?” Puzzled, she frowned. “Why?” His expression clouded in anger. “You came to see me late on New Year’s Eve and
then you didn’t come in the morning. I worried, but thought the noise had kept you up late and you’d slept in. But when you hadn’t come by suppertime and I heard about the fire, I thought something might have happened to you.” He let loose of her arms and stood there, tall and angry.
“I didn’t think.” “No, you never do.” Though still angry, he looked as if he needed to sit. “You mustn’t be out on the street like this. Let’s get you inside.” She worried over
him. She’d never seen him look this way. And he wasn’t healed yet. As they walked back to the boarding house Rob didn’t speak, but he grimaced with
each step. The silence lengthened between them. Sally wanted to speak, but felt guilty about causing him such worry. He’d roused
himself out of bed before he was ready on account of her. At last she got him seated in
one of the chairs in the parlor. Diana entered. “May I bring you tea?” “Yes,” she answered. Beads of sweat formed on Rob’s brow. She could see he’d overdone it. As the tea was served, he muttered, “You have no idea what you put me through.” “I’m sorry, Rob,” she said softly. He grunted. “Sorry is a sorry word.” He sipped his tea and studied her. “New dress?” “I made it yesterday and last night.” “Thunderation.” His fingers tightened on the cup. She rushed over. “Where does it hurt? Are you in pain? Is there anything I can do?” He gazed up into her eyes. “I don’t know if you can give me what I need.”
His steady gaze impaled her. Silence loomed between them like a heavy mist and the room felt warm and heavy.
A clock chimed. It would be time for the funeral soon.
“We’d best be going,” Sally said. “Wait here until I get the doctor to come for you.”
His firm hand closed over her arm. “No. I’m coming with you to the funeral.”
“But you need to rest.”
“I’ll rest once I’ve paid my respects to Moss and seen Luke buried where he belongs.”
“At least wait while I get a buggy,” she said.
He raised one eyebrow. “Buggy?” He scowled and eyed her dress. “Where’d you get the money for a buggy?”
He gritted his teeth and waited for an answer.
Sally knew he was angry with her and she couldn’t bear the way he was looking at her. She dashed outside and down the street to where there were carriages for hire. “Please, I need a carriage and driver right away.”
The man eyed her black dress. “Lots of folks going to the funeral. I have one left, but it will cost you.”
“How much?”
He named a price.
She paid him then pointed to the boarding house.
Rob had sat stewing while she was gone.
When the carriage arrived, Sally asked the man to come in and help Rob out to it.
“I want to ride with Mr. Rob,” Carolyn said.
“No,” Matthew said harshly into her ear. “He’s mad at us. Remember how Papa was when he got mad?”
“Did Mr. Rob drink that smelly stuff?” she asked.
“Maybe,” Matthew said. “Come on.” He helped her climb into the back of the carriage and sat next to her.
Sally was about to speak to the children when Rob interrupted her.
“I guess you’ll have to sit with me,” he said in a dry tone.
Several men glanced at her appreciatively as they walked past.
“We’ll be late if you don’t hurry.”
Rob’s quiet voice held an undertone of cold contempt and her spirits sank even lower.
She climbed in, adjusted her hat and pulled the lace veil over her face. At least the veil would shield her.
Rob stared straight ahead.
They rode in silence to the graveyard on Cemetery Hill, where folks who’d arrived early stood just close enough to watch.
Sally felt their eyes staring. One woman pointed at her and whispered to another.
The driver helped Rob and Sally down, and the children jumped out.
Rob looked at Sally and scowled.
Sally watched him from under her veil.
He must be in pain.
She slipped her arm around his waist to help him along and held her head high as they walked to where the preacher stood.
The silk dress rustled as she moved along beside him. Her hand held his waist and she felt so small beside him. His body was warm, his muscles firm. He was all male. She liked the feel of his body next to hers. He was tall and solid. She’d never be able to hold him up if he fell.
She wished he was the one holding her.
Her hips moved next to his and she was aware of the way their gaits now matched each other. They were walking in step, together.
The gawking townsfolk continued to whisper. A few women snuck enticing smiles at him, but he scowled back.
The children followed behind them.
Sally glanced back. “Come along now.”
Rob walked stiffly beside her.
Was the pain unbearable when he moved? Was this making him worse?
She readjusted her hand on his side.
He gave a low groan. So low she almost missed it.
The preacher began the ceremony for the five dead men. They buried Luke’s gang with little fuss in the boot division of the cemetery where those who died gloriously or otherwise in the thick smoke of guns were laid to rest.
The preacher read a few verses about reaping what you sow. He didn’t mention Luke as a father or husband.
Sally had asked him not to mention that she and the children were related to Luke in any way. He was buried under his outlaw name, Lucky Draw.
Her main concern was to get through this ordeal by telling Carolyn they were only there to bury Uncle Moss.
The gathering then moved to the community section of the cemetery, where Ozzie was given a respectable plot. When the preacher began to speak of Ozzie as a hero, Sally started to cry.
“Mama, I want Uncle Moss to come back,” Carolyn sobbed.
“He’s up in heaven, sunshine,” Sally said between tears.
Carolyn stopped crying. She smiled. “When we go to heaven, Uncle Moss will lead us on the trail.”
Sally glanced at Rob and he gave her a gentle smile. “Yes, sunshine, Uncle Moss will be there to show us the way.”
Her little girl had put it so beautifully.
Sally saw a rider in the distance riding hard toward the cemetery. When the horse drew up beside the tree that stood at the far end of the fence, a woman climbed down and hurried over.
Sally gasped. It was Aunt Doe.
“I came as soon as I got your message,” she said and hugged Sally. “I rode hard. Only stopped to rest my horse. I used to race horses with Ozzie when I was a girl.” Her gaze scanned the crowd of onlookers and hangers on and dismissed every one of them. “I see we have an audience. Have I come too late?”
The preacher overheard her. “The service is over, but you may stay as long as you wish.”
“That is exactly what I wish. Now if you’d usher these good townsfolk back to their safe little houses, I’d appreciate it.”
Her sarcasm wasn’t lost on Sally.
The preacher nodded and said in a voice loud enough for all to hear, “Let’s leave the relatives to their grief.”
“Nosy good-for-nothings,” Aunt Doe muttered. “Look at them. Vultures. The same sort arrived for my husband’s funeral. Some even met me at the gate to offer their condolences along with offers for my land.” She glanced sternly at Sally and Rob. “Never make decisions in your grief. Wait a few days.”
Carolyn hugged her. “Hello, Aunt Doe.”
“Hello, little darling.”
Carolyn squeezed her small arms around the older woman’s neck. “I missed you.”
Matthew stared at them.
“I missed you too,” Doe said. She nodded to Sally. “Let’s take a walk, just the two of us, and you can tell me what happened. Rob will stay with the children.”
Sally walked with her and told her the story from the time they left until the fatal shootings.
Aunt Doe stopped and put her arm around Sally. “How do you feel about Luke now, Sally?”
“I won’t use his name. I don’t want Carolyn to know she had a father like that. And Matthew.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what to do about him. He isn’t the little boy he once was.”
“And Rob?”
“He’ll mend and go off to do whatever it is that he does.”
Aunt Doe stopped and put her hands on her hips. “And you don’t even know what that is, do you? Have you ever asked him? I can’t imagine Rob would give anything but a straight answer to a direct question.”
“No. I haven’t asked him.”
“So you haven’t learned a solitary blessed thing from Ozzie’s death.”
Surprise overwhelmed Sally. She’d never heard Aunt Doe speak harshly.
“I’ve seen the way you two watch each other when you don’t think the other is looking. I can’t believe he hasn’t asked you to marry him, unless he’s waiting for you to go through a mourning period. By then you’re both likely to have gone in different directions.”
“No, he’s only asked me what I plan to do next.”
“Well, what did you tell him?”
“That I didn’t know.”
Aunt Doe shook her head abruptly. “Now, listen to me and listen well. If he doesn’t ask you, then you ask him. I don’t care if that isn’t the way things are done. You just do it. Life is short. Look at that man over yonder.” She pointed to Rob. “Do you love him?”
“Yes, but he’ll be leaving as soon as he’s well enough.”
“Don’t be too sure. He loves you, Sally. Now you quit acting like a schoolgirl who’s waiting for someone to ask her to dance and go over there and talk to him. Leave this old woman alone to mourn.”
Aunt Doe turned away and marched up to the top of the hill.
Sally walked to where Rob sat talking with the children.
He looked up when she came near and nodded toward Aunt Doe. “Is she all right?”
Doe stood on the hill, like a statue silhouetted against the setting sun.
“More than the rest of us, I believe.”
He looked into her eyes. “And how are the rest of us?”
“We’ll be fine. I suppose you’ll be riding off soon. Once you’re well enough.”
“That depends. I might settle down somewhere.”
“Where?”
“That hasn’t been decided yet.” She smiled sadly. “Somehow I can’t see you settling down. You’ll be riding off as
soon as you’re well enough.” “I would settle for the love of the right woman.” Sally looked away, hurt.
He didn’t mean her.
“Matthew, take Carolyn over to Aunt Doe so I can talk with your mother,” Rob said. “Yes, sir.” Rob patted the log next to him. “Sit here, next to me.” Blinking away the tears that threatened, she sat.
Now he’d tell her he was leaving.
“Why are you crying?” he asked. “No reason.” He took her hand in his to comfort her. “It’s been a difficult day for you.” She smiled thinly and a tear escaped to run down her cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb. “Could you ever marry again?” “I’ll have to, so that my children will have a father. But he would have to love
them.” “Is that all?” Disappointment hit Rob hard. He’d hoped for much more. He’d hoped that she loved
him. That she needed him. “Matthew needs a good father to teach him how to be a good man,” she said. “And
Carolyn wants a Papa to play with her.” “And what do you want?” “I’d like to move to Galveston and live by the ocean.” That surprised him. “Why Galveston?”
“I don’t want to live where Luke’s ever been. I don’t want Carolyn growing up knowing how bad her father was. And they say Galveston is a good place to raise children.”
“The children. Always thinking of the children. But what about you, Sally? What would you like?”
She didn’t answer. It wasn’t about what she wanted.
Every time she’d wanted something or dreamed of a happy ending, it all turned out wrong.
All she wanted was for Rob to love her. But she couldn’t have that.
His gray-blue eyes looked into hers, the depths unreadable. He was very still. “I’d be happy to be their father.”
Her eyes welled up with tears. This was more than she could have hoped for. So why was she still sad?
“Carolyn loves you already.”
“And I love her,” Rob said.
“You’ll be a wonderful father.” She felt as if a great weight had been lifted, but her heart was still filled with pain. He still hadn’t said he loved her.
He gave her a sad smile.
She smiled back at him through her tears. His fingers threaded through hers.
She had a moment of panic. She didn’t know his past.
“What did you do before I met you?” she asked.
“Lots of things. I worked on a ranch, took steers to Virginia. Tried my hand at mining once for a few weeks. I’ve traveled and played cards.”
Sally’s heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach. He was a card player like Luke. She didn’t want to think of Luke. She looked away, unable to bear the thought he might resemble Luke in any way.
“I’m no angel, Sally, but I’m not a cheat or a liar and I keep my word.”
Rob watched her fleeting expressions and began to understand what was going through her mind.
She was really asking what kind of a man he was. She was really asking if he would turn out to be like Luke. If he would beat his wife. If he would steal from her and leave her stranded. That she felt the need to ask after all the months on the trail together surprised him. Didn’t she know by now what kind of man he was? Would she ever come to trust him?
There was one thing he had to share with her now. She’d been deceived enough.
“Sally,” his fingers squeezed hers. “I want you to look at me.”
She turned to face him again.
“I want us to be honest with each other. No surprises. I’m going to tell you about Luke, so we can leave him in the past, dead and buried.”
She caught her breath and nodded.
“Luke killed my fiancée and then paid a drunk to say I did it. All because he couldn’t beat me at cards. I spent five years in prison for that murder. He beat her to death. That’s why I wanted to kill him. I know what kind of man Luke Wheeler was. I know what kind of husband he was to you. But I’ve never hurt a woman in my life, Sally. And I’d never hurt you.”
Rob looked into her eyes, hoping to see her fears drop away. Hoping she would say she loved him and would trust him.
He waited, watching her, yet he saw only her relief that she’d found a father for her children. She wasn’t happy about this marriage. She hadn’t said she loved him. And this wasn’t what he wanted.
She deserved to be happy. She deserved to be married to a man she loved. She’d find some other man and fall in love.
He closed his eyes as the pain of that thought hit him. It would just about kill him, but he had to let her go. He wouldn’t allow her to marry him simply because she felt she must.
He let her hands drop. “Sally, I can’t marry you.”
“What? Then why did you say you’d be their father?” Tears welled in her eyes, and she stood.
“I can’t marry you because you deserve someone better than me. Marriage without love is an empty shell.”
He stood and began a slow painful walk back to the carriage.
Sally was stunned. She felt as if her heart had been lifted into the sky and dropped again.
She’d never marry another man. She couldn’t let him go.
She loved him.
And he was leaving her forever.
“Wait!” Sally ran.
Rob stopped and turned.
Sally ran toward him, throwing off her black veil. Tears streamed down her face. But she didn’t care. He had stopped and was waiting for her. And that’s all that mattered.
“I love you,” she cried.
His arms reached toward her, and she fell softly into his warm embrace like a drop of rain falling slowly into a closing flower at night. He held her and gently rocked her from side to side.
“I love you too, Sally Mae,” his voice choked.
Into his shoulder she cried, “Please don’t leave me.”
“Hush, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” He brushed a gentle kiss across her forehead. “I love you, Sally.” He began raining kisses over her cheek, her ear, and her lips.
“And I will never willingly leave you as long as I live.” He drew back to look down into her eyes. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes.” Sally looked up into his eyes and laughed and cried at the same time. “Yes. I will marry you.”
He smiled. Then his lips slowly descended to meet hers.
Her knees weakened as his mouth took control. She drank in the sweetness of his kiss like water from a desert. It was a kiss for her tired soul to melt into. He sweetly drained all her doubts and fears away until she knew the flooding of uncontrollable joy. This man loved her with all his heart as she loved him, and he’d never leave her.
Aunt Doe watched from the hill and smiled. “Looks like there’s going to be a wedding.” She looked up at the sky with tears in her eyes. “Someday, Ozzie, you and I will have a good laugh about those two. But you’ll have to wait until I can join you on the trail. This time I’ll be coming with you.”
She placed a hand on each of the children’s shoulders. “Let’s go join your Mama. I think she has something to tell you.”