Chapter 27 Chapter 27I kicked the leaves on the sidewalk as I walked to the library. I wondered if there would be any way I could get some time alone with Nate later. I wanted to talk with him about Dr. Mike’s plan for me to contact my dad.
I couldn’t recall a time when my dad and I were close. I had some memories: him taking me to see Santa Claus at the mall and him wearing my mom’s frilly apron to make his specialty lasagna. The thing is, I wasn’t even sure whether they were my own memories or stories other people told that I’d hijacked to fill in my past. My parents split up when I was four, and from what my mom told me, he was pretty sick for a few years.
One memory I knew was mine was first-grade parents’ day at school. I remember that my mom made me wear a dress and it had a lace collar that itched. I was nearly bouncing in my seat waiting for Miss Klee to finish her welcome speech so I could talk to my mom. It seemed very exciting to have her there at school. All the grown-ups were standing at the back of the room, and I easily picked my mom out. Most of the other moms were in jeans or khakis. My mom was wearing a pink suit with matching pink shoes. She’d had to take the afternoon off from her job at the law firm. I couldn’t wait to show her the picture I had made in art class. It was the best of the whole group. I could tell Miss Klee thought so too, because she had placed it right in the middle of the wall.
There was a shuffle at the back, and I heard my mom raise her voice. I cringed. I didn’t know what I had done to get in trouble, and so much trouble that she would interrupt Miss Klee. Then I saw him. My dad had shown up. He was wearing a denim shirt that was splattered with paint. My mom was yelling at him to get out, that he had no right to be there. Miss Klee was flustered and trying to get control of her classroom back.
My dad crossed the room without answering my mom. He looked at the pictures on the back wall and picked mine out instantly.
“Is this one yours, pumpkin?” he asked, bending down at the side of my seat so we were on the same level.
I nodded.
“I knew it must be. Best one in the group.” I remember my chest filling up with pride. My dad drew better than anyone I knew, and he thought my picture was good.
My mom came up and hissed in my dad’s ear. All the other parents were looking at us. “Even she doesn’t want you here. Can’t you see you’re embarrassing her?”
My dad and mom both looked at me.
“Do you want me to go?” my dad asked.
I looked at him and then at Mom. I could see she was angry, and I knew exactly what she wanted me to say; she wanted me to send him away. I liked that my dad had come, but I didn’t see him that often. My mom I saw every day. When she was mad, no one was happy. I nodded my head yes. My eyes dropped to my desk. Even at that age I knew I’d betrayed him.
“There you go. She doesn’t want you. Now leave. You’ve done enough.”
And just like that my dad left. He didn’t argue anymore with my mom, and he didn’t try to have any regular visitation. I’ve seen him maybe a few dozen times since then, and he sends me a birthday card every year. I memorized his address, but I never wrote back and I certainly never went to visit. I realized now how much it must have hurt his feelings for me to reject him that day at school, but give me a break. I was six. He was the grown-up. It seems that he could have, that he should have, tried harder.
“I thought that was you. What are you doing here?”
I looked up in surprise; I’d been lost in my own thoughts and hadn’t gotten very far down the block. Nicole was standing in front of me.
“Uh. I was just taking a walk.” My heart raced.
“And just happened to be right by my house?” She cocked her head to the side.
Shit. She knew I was seeing her shrink dad. It would take less than thirty seconds for this to spread all over school. Heck, she probably had already texted the entire student body with the update.
“I know why you’re here.” Nicole sat down on the curb and motioned for me to sit. I sank down next to her. “I feel bad too.”
“You do?”
“Sure. I really did mean the whole thing to be joke, but I know it was way out of line. I should have realized how it would feel to you, especially being new and all. The whole panty thing was rude. I’d hate if we weren’t friends. I’m guessing since you’re here you must hate the idea of us not being friends, too.” Nicole put her hand on my arm. “So can we put it behind us?”
“Sure.” I shifted my weight on the cement curb and tried to avoid looking at her house in case she could somehow tell I had been inside. “I should tell you, I’m still not up for giving cheerleading another try. It isn’t my thing.”
“Fair enough. Lucky for you, your best friends are on the squad.” She linked arms with me, and I had to fight the urge to move away from her. “We’ll make sure you get invited to all the best parties. Oh! Which reminds me, have you heard about the bonfire?”
I thought of the fire Nate and I made on the beach, but I knew that wasn’t what she was talking about. “No, I haven’t heard anything.”
“There’s going to be a huge party at the beach on Tara Cove this Thursday. Chuck Watlin’s brother bought him a keg, so there will be tons of beer. You’ll come, won’t you?”
“Sure.”
“And I need to ask you a favor, too.” Nicole gave a sly smile. “I want you to bring your brother with you.”
“Nate?”
Nicole laughed. “Do you have any other brothers? Of course Nathaniel. I figure this is my perfect chance. I’ll ply him with a few drinks and make my move.”
My brain stuttered, trying to think of the right thing to say. “Nathaniel isn’t big on parties. He’s more of the quiet type.”
Nicole brushed away my words like they were mosquitoes. “Everyone likes a party. It depends on the company. If he doesn’t like crowds, he and I can slip away, just the two of us. All I’m asking is that you get him there.”
“I’m not really comfortable with setting up Nate.” I left off the bit where part of my discomfort came from the fact that I was dating him myself.
“It’s not a fix-up. All I’m asking you to do is invite him. I’ll do the rest.” Nicole gave me a sidelong glance. “Certainly an invitation isn’t asking too much.” She laughed again. “If you keep this up, I’ll think you want him for yourself.”
I tried to join her laugh, but mine sounded hollow and empty.
“Perfect. Then it’s settled.” Nicole smiled and gave my knee a pat.
“I have to go. I need to get to the library before they close.” I hated the feeling that I was asking her permission to leave.
“Of course.” Nicole and I both stood. “Remember, I’m counting on you.”
I waved to her as I walked away and hoped she would take that as an answer.