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Spending the past month alone up here without Chloe has been miserable. Well, not miserable completely, because I do still love my town and my friends and this lifestyle. But I keep imagining Chloe in it, and it’s so much better with her in the picture.

Jolie and Jameson wave as they pass me as I head to the greenhouse in the center of our town. Jameson is wearing their daughter Juliet in a carrier strapped to his chest. I immediately imagine myself in his place, and for the first time I don’t feel angry or scared about that. This month has given me plenty of time to think.

Seeing people with kids in the past just reminds me of what I am supposed to have by now… a three-and-a-half-something-year-old baby and maybe more on the way. The anger is gone, though. The regret, the loss, the pain… it’s all just a shadow of what it was.

For the first time in my life, I’m looking to the future.

I bury my hands in my pockets and remind myself that this is all my fault. I saw the way Chloe looked at me, the way her face dropped every time we talked about the distance between us, about me leaving.

Not that I want to move to L.A. That’s the last thing on earth I want. And yet, I’ve been seriously considering whether I should spend a little more time there. Maybe half and half?

On my knees in front of a planter, I dig my hands into the soil and feel around for the little red potatoes that have grown this week as West approaches me.

“Been seeing you a lot here lately,” he remarks.

“It’s relaxing.” I look up at him briefly before feeling a small potato and returning my gaze to the pot to fish it out. I set the little spud into the strainer. When I get enough of them, I’ll wash them up and cook up some fried potato cakes for Jolie and Jameson. They have had their hands full, and we’ve all made an effort to pitch in more for them.

“So, you have been stressed,” West concludes.

“Not stressed, exactly.”

“Sad then,” West decides.

“Maybe a little. I think I’ve made a mistake.”

West kneels down next to me and digs alongside me. “In that you didn’t try to ask Chloe to join you up here?”

He is too good at reading my mind nowadays. Then again, I’m not that subtle about my feelings for Chloe anymore. Over the past few weeks, everyone has teamed up to wear me down and get the full story.

“I can’t ask a woman to give up her life for me.”

“That’s not what you’ll be asking her,” he argues. “It would be starting a life with you.”

“We only spent like a week together,” I point out next.

West huffs out an annoyed breath. “So you’ve said, many times. Yet here you are, realizing you messed up. The only question now is, how are you going to make it right, man?”

I sit back on my heels and brush the dirt off my hands. “All the ideas I have are a little batshit crazy.”

“That’s good. Women like big gestures. Whatever you decide, just do it, brother. Stop second-guessing it. Start grabbing the bull by the balls.”

“That’s a lovely visual,” I grumble.

“Use whatever visual you like, just stop moping around here and take some damn action. Go get your girl, Henry.”

As I fry up the potato cakes in a big pan of animal fat, I think on West’s advice. Is it too wild? Is it wishful thinking?

“Knock-knock,” Nina calls out as she steps into my cabin. Her young baby Bethany is perched on her hip. “Oh, something smells good in here.”

Nina is not only like a big sister to Jameson, she’s sort of like a den mother to all of us. She and her husband, Miles, really taught us the ways of life up here.

I pull out the cakes and turn off the pan as I cross over to them and take Bethany from her arms. She smiles at me, eyes wide and bright. “Hey, baby girl,” I coo at her, which earns me an even bigger smile and a spit bubble.

Nina walks to the kitchen and grabs a potato cake off the pile and rips it in half.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” I ask to Bethany.

Nina answers. “I spoke with West today. He thought you could use some sage advice from a woman.”

I snort a laugh. “All right then, tell me your advice.”

She nibbles at the fried potato, taking her time. I bring Bethany over to the couch and set her on my knee to bounce her.

“You’re good with kids,” she says.

“Is that the advice?” I tease.

“You were going to be a great dad. And you still can someday.”

Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. “Maybe. I am getting up there in years, though.”

“Yeah, but Chloe isn’t.”

I glower at her. “Asking anyone to move to Port Providence is insanity. Besides, I don’t think I’d even want to raise a family here, no offense.”

“Some taken,” she scoffs. “And I completely understand. But from what I hear, you’re letting a precious chance at love slip through your stupid fingers.”

“What do you people expect me to do? Fly to L.A. and confess my love for Chloe, and ask her to ride away with me into the sunset?”

Nina shrugs, face serious. “Yeah, pretty much. What’s the problem with that?”

“For starters, we fake dated for a week. And she lives in L.A., a city I cannot live in, even for Chloe. For all I know, she’s moved on and found a better man than me.”

Nina shakes her head. “That’s not how I hear it. She’s been talking to Jolie regularly on the satellite phone, and she misses you, dude. She wants to be with you, but she just can’t tell you, because you know, you’re you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Nina smirks. “Thick-headed, righteous. You think you know what she wants and what she’d be willing to do for a shot with you, which you’ve decided is nothing. Don’t assume anything, though, Henry. I’d bet any money this girl would be willing to take you on like a shot, no matter what it means giving up in her life.”

When I don’t speak for a while, Nina plants herself next to me and takes Bethany in her lap. “Is this all because of Sarah?” she asks softly.

I fold my arms over my stomach and sigh. “Honestly? I don’t think so.”

“Then, think about this, what’s the worst that could happen if you show up on this woman’s doorstep and profess your love? If she turns you down, you won’t be any worse off than you are right this minute.”