‘They already have enough bombs to blow up
the world six times,’ Jack exclaimed.
Jill only nodded her head, as her mouth was full
of cream cheese with sprouts on a dark bagel.
She took a sip of her No-Risk® fruit juice.
‘I won’t let them blow me up,’ Jill said.
Jack was looking around at the thousands of people
on the lawn in front of the legislative buildings.
There were hundreds of different signs,
but Jack wasn’t looking at those.
Jack was looking at all of the attractive women
that surrounded him.
Jack and Jill hadn’t had sex recently – what
with the heat and all the pressure Jill had at work.
Jack was feeling very horny.
‘This is just like a giant orgy,’ Jack thought.
There were a lot of attractive women.
‘I would like to have sex with all of these women,’
Jack thought.
Jill wasn’t thinking much about bombs either.
She was thinking of her job
with the No-Risk® Fruit Juice Corporation.
Jill was a commercial designer with a background
in sociology.
She was supposed to figure out how to make people buy
certain things.
Right now she was supposed to think of a way to make
people buy the newest No-Risk® product, kiwi juice.
‘How will I ever get them to buy kiwi juice,’
Jill was thinking.
Meanwhile, the crowd was getting excited.
‘1-2-3-4,’ they yelled, ‘we don’t want a nuclear war.’
‘5-6-7-8,’ the crowd roared, ‘stop the bomb before
it’s too late.’
‘Before it’s too late,’ Jack and Jill echoed
as loudly as they could.
The crowd started to move towards the street.
Jack could hardly contain his mounting sexual excitement.
‘This is like the most incredible orgy,’ Jack thought.
Jill was so moved that there were tears in her eyes.
‘Thousands of people all protesting together!’
she thought.
‘Thousands of people all buying kiwi juice!’
she was thinking.
The crowd exploded onto the street.
That evening, Jack and Jill were very tired.
It had been a physically and emotionally exhausting day.
They decided to go to bed early.
‘That was some march,’ Jill said,
nestling up to Jack.
‘We sure showed those bastards,’ said Jack,
the blanket beginning to swell at his hips.
Jack and Jill had very good sex that night.
They tried a new position Jill had read about
in Cosmopolitan magazine.
Jack brought out an electric penis ring with
clitoral stimulator.
He had been hiding it in a drawer for weeks.
Several years passed
and Jack and Jill moved ahead rapidly at their jobs.
They had less and less time for peace activities.
They found it necessary to buy a car.
Jack was becoming heavily involved with video
and stereo electronics and needed more space.
They moved out of their apartment in the Annex
and found a renovated house in Cabbagetown.
Jack and Jill decided that they did not want
to bring children into this world,
it being the way it was,
with the threat of nuclear war and everything.
Their sex life was getting better all the time.
They had even discussed swinging,
which gave Jack something to think about
while masturbating in the washroom at his office.
Jack began to make videotapes of his lovemaking
with Jill,
and they would show them when friends dropped by.
And the moral of our story goes something like this:
Jack and Jill became more and more involved with
modern technology,
buying first a microwave oven and then a food processor.
Jack bought more expensive and up-to-date
video equipment and even a home computer.
Eventually they decided that cruise missiles
were the ultimate fuck.
And Jack and Jill lived happily ever after
within the capitalist system.