Ode to an aspiring author . . .
This is a true story of how I let a grumpy old man derail my novelist dreams. I still hope I write my book one day—but I know for sure Berna will write hers.
I am nine and he is half a century older. He is a local celebrity—a nationally renowned children’s author. I am a voracious reader and an inconsistent diarist. I dream of writing my own novels. He has published more than twenty.
When I find out he is coming to my fourth-grade career day, I can’t believe my luck. The day’s second-most-exciting presenter is a preowned car salesman. Every student is allowed to pick four tables to visit. I am the first to sign up for the author’s booth.
The morning of career day, I slip a copy of his most celebrated book into my book bag before I leave for school. He arrives in the auditorium looking mussed and fussed, collared shirt misbuttoned, gray hair slightly askew. I imagine he is so busy churning out masterpieces, he does not have time to concern himself with unimportant things like combs and shirt buttons. When the time comes, I make my way over to his table, stomach fluttering.
He talks about the book in my bag, which won the Newbery Award. I listen intently to every word. When he pauses for questions, my hand shoots up.
“What is it like to write a book?” I ask him. “I want to be a writer, too.”
His bushy brows furrow. “You want to know what it’s like? You’ll have an idea you think is pretty good. You’ll work day and night, for years, to write the perfect manuscript. When you finally complete it, you will send it off to agents and publishers. And when it arrives they will dump it in the trash without ever reading it.”
I wait for the “but” I know must be coming. “That’s what it’s like,” he finishes with a shrug.
I decide I need a new career.
Two decades later, I meet a high-schooler in a mentorship program. I am a speechwriter. She is an aspiring author. I am still afraid of rejection. She is clever, and brave, and sharp as a tack.
She talks about the book she will never write (though she has already written the acknowledgments). I assure her that she can and she will.