“His name was Jacob. He was a Ranger. He left the service a year ago and tried finding work, but there just weren’t any jobs. Then someone he knew, another Ranger, hooked him up with something. Jacob wouldn’t say what the job was, only that the money was good. He was even helping to pay my tuition. But besides that, I never saw or heard from him.”
The rock was becoming uncomfortable. She lowered herself onto the ground, the rock now at her back, unscrewing the cap from the bottle and taking a swig of water.
“Occasionally I would get emails from him. They were cryptic. He never said where he was or what he was doing, just that he was living the Dream. When he typed it he even capitalized the word. It was weird. My brother had never been a strong student. That’s why he went into the Army instead of college. He used to be a troublemaker, too, and my parents didn’t think he was going to last. But still he was my brother. I loved him.”
She wiped at her eyes, smiling.
“Like, this one time when I was thirteen, I was at camp and hated it. I called home and Jacob answered and I told him just how much I hated it and how I wanted to leave. And you know what he did? He drove three hours to come pick me up. But I didn’t end up going back home with him. He told me I was going to love it at camp if I just stuck it out. And you know what? He was right. I did end up loving it. Later I found out he was supposed to go out on a date that night with a girl he really liked, but instead called it off to drive three hours to talk to me.”
There was a silence then, the cicadas trilling around them.
Nova—so weird to think of him now with that name, after thinking of him as John—kept moving around, the gun in his hand, back and forth checking the area. He asked, “What happened to him?”
“One night I got a missed call from him. I had been at class and left my phone in the car. He left a voicemail, though. He said he had really messed up and he was scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“He didn’t say. He was crying. I had never heard my brother cry before. I had never even heard him say he was scared before. It broke my heart. I wanted to do something, but what was I supposed to do?”
“Did you call him back?”
“I tried. I tried for a whole day. I was freaking out. I thought about telling my parents, but I knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. Then the next day I got another call from Jacob. He wasn’t crying this time, but he was really on edge. He said they were coming for him. He said they were almost there, and that he was sorry and that he loved me and just wanted to hear my voice one last time.”
Jessica sniffed back more tears, took another swig of water.
“I asked him what happened and he said he had fucked up. That’s all he kept saying, that he had fucked up. Finally I shouted at him to tell me what was wrong, what he had done. He said he should have known better, he knew it was illegal but it was a job and all he needed was a job.”
“What job?”
“Transporting drugs. Meth. He said the people he worked with—all guys from the service—produced it in an abandoned mine. Then he started crying again, saying how sorry he was but that he loved me and missed me and wished he could see me again. And then … then he hung up.”
“Did you try calling him back?”
“Of course. That’s all I did for hours. But there was no answer. I thought about telling my parents. I thought they might know what to do, but I was just kidding myself. If what Jacob said was true, then this was bigger than my parents. Even if they called the police, what were the police going to do? It was insane, the idea of Army guys being involved in all of this. I decided right there and then that I would find out what happened to Jacob. The semester was going to end in another month, but I didn’t care. I stopped going to classes. I started researching mines, mostly abandoned mines, trying to figure out where Jacob had ended up. When he had called, he hadn’t used his cell phone, so based on the caller ID, I knew he was somewhere in Nevada. The state has thousands of mines, but I managed to narrow it down to a dozen and then I hit the road.”
“Do you think he’s still alive?”
She shook her head slowly, avoiding his eyes again.
“How do you know for sure?”
“I just do. You know when you just know? That’s how it was for me. I knew that whatever happened, Jacob had been on the run and that these people were coming for him. He wasn’t going to get far. They were going to find him, and when they did, they were going to kill him.”
“But you don’t know for sure.”
Jessica looked straight at Nova. “They killed him. I know they did. And I think I know why.”
“Tell me.”
“I told you, my brother was a great guy. He might have gotten into trouble in the past, but he was a great guy. I think at first he didn’t know what the whole operation was. Then when he did he was, I don’t know, scared at first to do anything about it. But then once he was in deep enough and understood all the ins and outs, he got the evidence he needed to go to the authorities to shut it down. And that’s when they found out what he was doing and came after him.”
They were quiet then, neither one speaking, both holding each other’s stare. The cicadas filled the silence with their own song, a strange soothing symphony, and Jessica realized just how tired she was, how exhausted. She closed her eyes for a moment, telling herself that she was okay, that she would get through this, when she felt something crawl across her arm.