Situations 29&30
ADULTERY AND FIDELITY

“Where there’s Marriage without Love, there will be Love without Marriage.”

–BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Adultery

Adultery is a voluntary relationship between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.

This situation requires Two Adulterers and a Betrayed Spouse.

Adultery occurs when a husband or wife is betrayed. There are cases of infidelity, such as “swinging,” where all parties know about the affair and agree to it in some way, but Adultery, by contrast, has the strong element of betrayal attached to it.

This feeling of betrayal is what adds the conflict to the situation and fuels the fires of retribution. Betrayal can cause the average Joe to do things he never thought he was capable of doing. It can lead to:

Murderous Adultery:

• the slaying of Wife or Husband by the Lover

• the slaying of Wife or Husband by the Spouse

• the slaying of Lover by Wife or Husband

• the slaying of Adulterer by Neighbors

Or:

• the Adulterer being ostracized from the community (especially depending on the time period of the story)

• the Adulterer being consumed with guilt, possibly becoming paranoid that the spouse knows

• the Lover being consumed with passion and wanting the Adulterer to marry him (as in Fatal Attraction)

• the Spouse finding out and holding it against the Adulterer to get something she wants (blackmail of sorts)

• the Lover being abandoned and alone

There may be social mores, sexist standards, religious laws, or even personal standards to add more conflict to the act of Adultery. The time period of the story is important here. In some places, even today, a woman is killed for sleeping with someone other than her husband.

But centuries ago, when Courtly Love existed, it was expected that the nobility would find lovers outside of their marriages. It is what made the great Knights great.

The audience can root for either the betrayed or the betrayer depending on a few factors:

• Is the betrayed Spouse nice and loving and the Lover “ugly” on the inside? (If so, the audience will root for the Spouse, and vice versa.)

• How long was the married couple together? (The longer the relationship, the more people will want to see the married couple stay together.)

• Are there any children involved?

• Why did they get married? Was it an arranged marriage or were they in love?

• Is there a large age difference between the married partners?

• Is the Spouse available sexually? Or too frigid?

• Is this the first time it’s happened? Or is this a pattern of behavior?

The audience for this situation is like a jury. They want to know all the facts so they can figure out who to root for. This situation can really hit home for a lot of people, so you better make sure you are asking the audience to root for the most likeable character, otherwise you’ll lose their interest.

THE ADULTERERS

The Adulterers can be wonderful or deceitful people. The reason for the affair and how they each feel about it afterward are the deciding factors.

Perhaps the cheating spouse isn’t honest with the Lover about her marriage. Or the Lover manipulates the cheating Spouse, taking advantage of her while she is vulnerable. He could be a seducer who doesn’t really care about her at all.

Either way the Adulterer is on the edge, unsure of herself and what she wants in life. Why did she get married? What changed since then? Is she having a midlife crisis? Why would she risk her marriage and security?

Something is so wrong in her life that she is willing to risk it all for this affair because she believes her rewards for it will be great. She will feel better somehow. She doesn’t have the strength to face what is going on inside of her that makes her want to do this; she is just going for the “high” this affair can bring. The Spouse represents too much “reality” for her and she would rather hide her pain in the arms of a stranger.

THE BETRAYED SPOUSE

The Betrayed Spouse is usually overly secure in the relationship at times and may not pay enough attention to the Cheating Spouse. Adultery usually comes as a shock to him. It’s easier for him to get mad and retaliate than to look at what he may have done to cause this affair. If only he would look closely he might see that the warning signs were there and he just didn’t want to listen.

It’s as if you have two people trying to run away from their feelings and the reality of home life rather than fix what is wrong.

The Betrayed Spouse feels completely justified in striking out. He quickly takes on the role of Victim and gathers allies against the Cheating Spouse—“See what she did to me!”

The question is, is he upset that his wife cheated or that this Lover took his “property”? Many women mistake jealously for love when in reality the man is only angry that someone else invaded his territory.

Whether Adultery is used as plot, subplot, or incident, the elements of the beginning, middle, and end are the same:

BEGINNING: Two Adulterers meet. The Cheating Spouse may not act just yet.

• Are the Adulterers or the Betrayed and Lover tied together in any way (co-workers, family members, some common project or responsibility)?

• What obstacles are in the way? Schedules? Other people? Time? Money?

• Are children involved?

• How long have the Betrayed Spouse and the Adulterer been married and in what shape is their marriage?

• Why is the Cheating Spouse considering cheating?

• What is at stake besides the marriage? Is the married couple working on something together (buying a house, building a life, making friends, starting a business, being critiqued by the public eye)?

MIDDLE: The Adulterers have the affair.

• Is the Lover much better than the Betrayed Spouse? Is the Betrayed Spouse a horrible person?

• Where will audience loyalties be?

• What obstacles are in the way?

• How many times will the affair happen?

• Does the Cheating Spouse feel remorse?

• When does the Betrayed Spouse find out?

• Does the Betrayed Spouse care about the Spouse at all or just feel cheated? Does he want to save the marriage?

• What do family, friends, and co-workers think? Do they get involved?

• Do the Adulterers try to stop themselves from being exposed? What obstacles are in their way?

END: The Betrayed Spouse retaliates and someone may die.

• Does someone influence the Betrayed Spouse to strike back? Or does he make up his mind on his own?

• Is the Betrayed Spouse’s response swift and quick or calculated and planned out?

• Will someone die? Who? How?

• Is there a lesson to be learned here?

• Is there a twist to the ending that may change the audience’s loyalties? Did they root for the wrong person all along? (Perhaps they thought the Betrayed Spouse was a good man until, like a mystery, all the pieces fall into place and they see he is a horrible person.)

“Nothing is more noble, nothing more venerable than fidelity. Faithfulness and truth are the most sacred excellences and endowments of the human mind.”

–CICERO

Fidelity

Fidelity is the unfailing fulfillment of one’s duties and obligations and strict adherence to vows or promises.

In this situation the Adulterer becomes the Faithful Spouse who refuses to find another Lover after the loss of her spouse. This loss could stem from her spouse dying, going to prison, getting sick, divorcing her, or perhaps leaving her for his job.

She could feel guilty at the thought of being with someone new or possibly doesn’t feel capable of being back out on the dating scene and clings to the memory of her former spouse.

She needs to find self-esteem and self-empowerment to get over her loss and get on with her life. She is much more than her title of “wife,” and she needs to realize this. Hopefully she has friends, family, or even a stranger around to push her to go out and change her life. She may be afraid but she really has no choice in the matter; she can’t bring her spouse back.

If her spouse is living and is in jail or just plain left her, she can’t force him to come back. Her happiness shouldn’t be dependent upon another human being. She has to learn how to make herself happy. She has to find out who she really is deep down inside. Maybe being in this situation is just what she needs.

Whether Fidelity is used as plot, subplot, or incident, the elements of the beginning, middle, and end are the same:

BEGINNING: The Faithful Spouse loses her spouse in some way.

• Does he pass away? Or does he leave her? Why?

• How does this make the Faithful Spouse feel? Is she in denial, thinking he will come back?

• What do other characters think about the situation? Are they giving her some time to get over the loss?

• Does the Faithful Spouse stay in the same house or apartment that she had with her spouse? Does she save his things like a shrine?

• How does she spend her long, lonely nights?

• How does she handle taking over the jobs her spouse used to do?

MIDDLE: The Faithful Spouse is forced to face her loneliness.

• Does she decide to go out and try to date? Or does she fall further into her isolated life?

• Does she have a job or other obligations to hide in?

• How is she pushed to face her loneliness? Do other characters push her?

• Does she have any family or close friends to visit?

• Does she try to date but find it to be too hard? Does she get discouraged easily?

• Does she feel guilty about thinking about moving on?

END: The Faithful Spouse cleans up her life and moves on.

• How does she move on? Go on a date? Clean up her house? Move? Get a new job? Start a new hobby? Do volunteer work?

• Does she realize love and happiness are found within?

• Does she find happiness with another man? Or in rediscovering herself?

• What is the theme here?

EXAMPLES

Unfaithful, ADRIAN LYNE

ADULTERY AS PLOT— The marriage of a couple living in the New York City suburbs goes dangerously awry when the wife indulges in an adulterous fling.

Fatal Attraction, ADRIAN LYNE

ADULTERY AS PLOT— A married man’s one-night stand comes back to haunt him when that lover begins to stalk him and his family.

Men Don’t Leave, PAUL BRICKMAN

FIDELITY AS SUBPLOT— A mother of two sons finds life considerably difficult on her own after the death of her beloved husband.

The Notebook, NICHOLAS SPARKS

FIDELITY AS SUBPLOT— An elderly man reads a story to an elderly woman with Alzheimer’s in a nursing home. The story he reads follows two young lovers named Allie Hamilton and Noah Calhoun, who meet one evening at a carnival. It’s clear this man is staying faithfully by his wife’s side while she has Alzheimer’s.