Daisy smoothed her hands down her jean-clad legs, wondering for the hundredth time if she was ready for this conversation. Inside she was a riot of emotions, ranging from worry to fear to resignation. Best to bite the bullet, endure the pain, and get out.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the front door to the B&B. It wasn’t so late that Miss Edna would have locked up. Besides, Derrick was expecting her.
Derrick leaned against the opening to the kitchen, a coffee cup in his hand. Her hands began sweating, and she felt like she was about to throw up.
This is ridiculous. Get it over with, there’s no need to draw things out. Spit it out and let the truth come into the light. He’ll dump you the minute he finds out anyway. Why prolong the inevitable?
“How’s Ian?”
“Sound asleep. Kids are resilient. He dropped off the minute his head hit the pillow.”
“That’s good. I doubt I’ll sleep a wink. It’s been playing over and over in my head. What if I’d been a few minutes later finding him? What if he fell?”
Derrick walked toward her and handed her the cup, and she looked inside, finding it contained hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. The warmth from the cup heated her cold hands. After they’d been checked out at the clinic, she’d headed home and taken the longest shower in history. The whole while she’d stewed, wondering if she dared tell Derrick the truth about her past. It was agony, sheer torture, vacillating between keeping it to herself and always having a sword of Damocles hanging over her head, or risking everything for a chance at happiness.
“Ian’s a strong kid. He might be little, but he’s mature beyond his years. We had a long talk while the doctor was checking him out, and he understands the consequences of his actions. A heaping helping of guilt over his foolish actions, doing exactly what he knew he’d been forbidden to do, and being grounded for the rest of his life seemed a small price to pay for him being safe. Have I told you how grateful I am that you found him? I don’t think I’ll ever get over seeing you standing at the base of that tree. Did I tell you I heard the squeal from the hog? I thought it was you or Ian, and I—”
She touched his hand gently. “Nobody got hurt. We’re home, safe and sound. Tomorrow, you’ll move into your new house and start over.”
“I need a drink. Come on.”
He turned and walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. Carrying it to the sunroom, he sat on the loveseat and patted the seat beside him. Swallowing, she followed and took the seat, then had second thoughts. Maybe she should have sat in the chair instead, putting some distance between them. Being this close, telling him what she’d done, was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do.
“I need to talk to you.”
“I’m right here. You can tell me anything.” Derrick took a sip of coffee, a tiny quirk of his lip making her want to reach out and touch it. Touch him, maybe for the last time. This was stupid, having these kinds of feelings for a man she hadn’t even kissed. How crazy was that?
“There’s something you should know. About me. About my past.”
“You can tell me anything, Daisy. I won’t judge you.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” She wrapped both hands around her cup, letting the warmth seep into her. “Before I came to Shiloh Springs, I got into some trouble. Legal trouble.”
“Alright. Tell me everything.”
“Usual story. I was young and stupid. Thought I was in love. His name was James. A typical bad boy, but then I was a rebel. Did the opposite of everything I should. If it was fast, fun, or questionable, you could count me in. I got arrested when I was eighteen for drugs. They let me go because it was a first-time offense.”
He leaned back and put his feet up on the coffee table in front of them, crossing them at the ankles. “Sounds like it wasn’t the last time. Keep going.”
Narrowing her eyes, she studied his relaxed posture, wondering what was going through that big brain. Surely he could see where this was headed. He wouldn’t want a convicted felon around his son.
“I stayed with James for three years. My mom didn’t care what I did, as long as she got what she wanted, which was money and booze. I didn’t deny her anything, because I liked living on the edge. The cheap thrills, the excitement of skating around the truth. Because my truth was ugly. I trusted James, did everything he asked. Not that it makes a difference, but I never did the hard stuff. Strictly weed and an occasional pill. I hated myself, and it was easier to stay high than to face the fact I was a lousy human being, headed toward a life in and out of jail.”
“Seems like you turned yourself around. You are a business owner. You have friends who care about you. A community you serve. You’re kind. I’m not seeing the issue.”
She shook her head, unable to believe he was being this obtuse. Couldn’t he read between the lines, realize they’d never work?
“Derrick, I didn’t turn myself around. Well, I did, but not the way you think. I stayed with James despite knowing he was getting in deeper and deeper with more than just penny-ante stuff. He and his brother started robbing gas stations and convenience stores. Got in deep with local loan sharks. I probably know more about the ugly side of life than any other woman you know.”
Or dated.
“I don’t know about that. In my line of work, I’ve met some pretty sketchy women.”
“Will you listen?” Was he deliberately being hardheaded? She bit back the urge to scream. Didn’t he understand what she was telling him? No one in Shiloh Springs knew about her past. It was shameful and filled her with remorse. It didn’t matter that she’d paid her debt to the people who’d been hurt. Even now, the thought mortified her, that she’d been naïve and gullible, all because of a man.
No, it’s not right to put all the blame on James. You chose to be with him. He never forced you to do drugs. You liked the thrill, the riding high on the edge.
She rubbed her wrist, remembering the feel of handcuffs being snapped shut. Sitting in front of the judge, with the public defender beside her. Accepting the plea deal being offered by the district attorney. The bright orange jumpsuit. The numbness she’d felt for months, realizing she’d thrown her life away. Those years she’d never get back.
Derrick raised a hand. “I’m still listening. Not judging, just listening.” He made a motion for her to continue.
“I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.” Putting her cup on the table, she jumped to her feet. “I love you, Derrick. I have from the beginning, even when you barely noticed me. But we can’t be together. I can’t be around Ian. I’m a convicted felon. I spent two years in prison. I drove the car when James and his brother robbed a fast-food place. I never went inside, didn’t even know they were going to steal anything.” She gave an ugly laugh. “I was so stupid. They said they were going to get us something to eat. Then they came running out and jumped in, screaming for me to drive. I panicked and hit the accelerator. Slammed right into the back end of a police car.”
“I know.”
“What?”
He stood, took her hands in his and leaned forward, looking her straight in the eye, his gaze never wavering. “I know everything. All of it. Do you honestly think I let anybody get close to my son without knowing every detail about their life and their history? Daisy, I work for the FBI. It took me all of ten minutes to know everything about you.”
Pulling on her hands, she tried to break free, but Derrick refused to release her. She tugged harder but couldn’t get him to turn her loose.
“Let go.”
“Never. The only thing you’ve said tonight that matters is that you love me. Anything else we’ll get past. Do you think you’re the only person who’s ever been in trouble? Who’s ever made mistakes? While I’ve didn’t get arrested, I haven’t exactly been the poster boy for good works, Daisy.”
“Derrick, you don’t understand. No one in Shiloh Springs knows about me. About what I did. It would destroy me if they found out. I’ve made a place for myself here. I know you won’t understand, but this town, these people, they are the only thing in my life that’s kept me on track. They’ve accepted me, given me the kind of life I never dreamed was possible. It would break something inside me that would never heal if they hated me.”
Derrick pulled her against his chest, and she struggled but couldn’t break his hold. With a sigh, she allowed her head to fall against his chest. His amazing, rock-hard chest.
“Daisy, I want you to think for a second. What family basically runs this town?”
Her answer was immediate. “The Boudreaus.”
“Exactly. And what do the Boudreaus specialize in?”
“Um…law enforcement and…” Her words trailed off as she realized his implication.
“Security.” His answer softly echoed in her brain.
“They know.” It wasn’t a question.
“I’d be shocked if they didn’t. They accept you for who you are, not for what you did in your misspent youth. Besides, think about all those Boudreau men. Every single one of them comes with a past they’d just as soon forget. Somehow, I doubt any of them blame you. Unless you’ve broken some law since you’ve lived in Shiloh Springs.”
“No.” Lightness began to fill her, a glowing warmth of acceptance. Derrick was right; the Boudreaus had probably known about her past all along. And they hadn’t judged or condemned her. Just the opposite.
“Now, let’s talk about you’re loving me. Did you mean it?”
“Yes.” She felt a rush of heat flood her face. What was the point of denying it?
“That’s good, because I love you too. Daisy, sweet Daisy, you are my whole world. When Ian came into my life, I knew I had to focus on him, give him my whole attention. His life had been upended, and I couldn’t afford for him to feel unwanted. But this whole time, I couldn’t get you out of my mind, out of my thoughts. No matter how many times I tried not to see you, I kept coming back. Whenever I came to Shiloh Springs, it was always about work. Until I met you. I couldn’t stay away. I love you, Daisy Parker.”
She smiled at him. “Do you realize you’ve never kissed me?
“I’m aware.”
Running a finger down his chest, she asked, “Don’t you think you should remedy that?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Swooping in, his lips landed against hers. There was nothing gentle or timid about his kiss. It evoked. It demanded. It devoured. She kissed him back with everything she had, pouring her love into their embrace. The moment seemed caught in time, and she wished she could stay in his arms forever.
“Dad?”
Derrick pulled back, and Daisy ran a hand over her hair, embarrassed at being caught. Though she wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed of what she felt in Derrick’s arms. Nothing had felt so right in a long time.
“Ian, what’s wrong?”
“I woke you and couldn’t find you.” His voice quivered, and Daisy walked over and put her arm around his shoulder, squeezing him gently.
“I couldn’t sleep. Daisy and I were…talking.”
Ian snickered. “You didn’t look like you were talking.”
“Ian!” Daisy felt the blush spreading across her face again.
“What? I’m just telling what I saw.”
“Does it bother you? That I was kissing Daisy?”
Ian shook his head. “Nope. You know what this means, right?”
Derrick looked at Daisy, and she shrugged, having no idea what Ian was thinking.
“What does it mean?”
“Now you’ve got to marry her. That’s what happens in all those sappy romance movies.”
Daisy watched Derrick’s shoulders move with suppressed laughter.
“Well, Daisy, you heard the man. Now you’ve got to marry me.”
Was he serious? You didn’t get married because your kid wants you to. That was insane. Wasn’t it?
Derrick leaned in close to Ian, and whispered, “I don’t think she believes me. Maybe you’d better ask her if she’d marry us.”
Ian’s eyes lit with excitement. “Daisy, will you marry us? Me and my dad? I think it’s a great idea.”
Derrick winked at her. “I think it’s a great idea, too.”
Throwing caution to the wind, Daisy did the only thing that made sense.
She said yes.