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"WHAT'S IN YOUR BATHTUB?"
I sat with my back to the door as I gazed out the droplet covered window, wearing some new headset gadget PJ got me. Normally, people didn't like talking on the v-phone, unless they could see the other party. Texting was the exception, but you surely didn't conduct business by texting. The video-phone headset was an eyepiece, a metal band around one side of your head, and a small arm attachment with a microfilm thin video screen. Quality was perfect, but I had PJ return it to get a less than perfect model. I didn't want them to see my eyes too clearly, so I could look out the window and they'd not realize it.
"There's a gator in my bathtub?" the woman on the other end of the video-phone said and then started to laugh.
"Why are you calling a private detective? Shouldn't you call Animal Control?"
"I want to hire you to find out who put this gator in my bathtub."
"Maybe it just came up from the sewage pipes."
"Mr. Cruz, this is a seven-foot-long gator."
"Is it a gator or a crocodile?" I asked.
"Very sharp question, Mr. Cruz. I can't remember which is which, so let's stick with gator. Will you take the case?"
"I'd be stealing your money. Believe me, Animal Control will want to find out exactly where a seven-foot gator or croc came from too and how it found its way into your bathtub. They'll do the detecting for you for free. So here's what you do."
"What?"
"Video tape it with your mobile first, send the footage to the local news, and tell them to get there fast before Animal Control. Then, when the camera crew gets there, before you let them in, call Animal Control. You'll be famous for a day and will have the government find out who put that water reptile in your tub."
"Boy, Mr. Cruz. You're so smart. That's exactly what I'll do."
"Liquid Cool is all about helping people. Even when there's no real case for us to take. Now, go do your video-taping."
"Yes, sir."
I hung up the video call and pulled the video call headset off of me. "PJ!"
She appeared at the door laughing.
"I do not want any more crazy calls like that!"
"There's a gator in my bathtub," PJ said with her fake American Free City accent, or what she thought people who live in Free City sounded like, and then she laughed.
––––––––
I SAT AT MY DESK STARING out the droplet covered window with my cup of silk coffee in hand. There was no view, but the line of monolith office tower buildings across the street with their tinted windows. However, I had a deep sense of satisfaction. It was almost like a dream I prayed would never end. I was just some laborer, legacy baby one moment, now I was a self-employed, business owner with an employee.
"Surprise!"
I was startled, but the smile never left my face as I turned around to see Dot peeking into the office from the door. She waltzed right in.
"Look at this," she said, looking around my space. "This is cool. You have a real place of business."
I set down my cup as she rushed me, threw her arms around me, and planted a kiss.
"Very impressive, Mr. Cruz," she said as she looked around again, then back at me. "You are a detective now. How do you like it? Wait."
She ran over to my door and closed it.
"I don't want to hear no animal sounds in there!" PJ yelled.
Dot laughed, and I held my laughter in.
"Well, Mr. Cruz?" she asked.
I picked up my cup as I bobbed my head up and down. "Love it."
She was back next to me. "Is it dangerous?"
"Not at all," I replied. "Lot of variety, which I like."
"Oh. Tell me about the corporate case."
"The Case of the Nighttime Bionic Parts Thieves."
"Cruz, that's a stupid name. Your agency is named Liquid Cool. How can you come up with a cool name for your business, but give your cases such pathetic names? What was the name of the case before this one?"
"The Case of the Guy Who Scratched My Vehicle."
We both burst out laughing.
"That's what I mean," she managed to say while still laughing. "Enough! Cool names for all cases going forward."
"Gotcha."
"Tell me what happened."
I had two chairs in front of my desk, but I did like I saw so many other business guys do, like Run-Time and others. In the corner, I had my own arrangement of plush chairs around a glass table, the whole set-up on another neon dark blue rug. Dot and I sat on adjacent chairs.
"It was some case," I started. "This company makes all these high-end bionic parts, but almost monthly, thieves were ripping off their warehouse. They had tons of security, but all their internal security guys couldn't figure out how it was possible. They fired a bunch of security heads over it. It was going on for months."
"How did you solve it then, Mr. Cruz?"
"Well...Mrs. Cruz...since it was the megacorporate world, I knew it had to be an inside job, but I knew they would have checked that right away. So how can a theft be an inside job without being an inside job? Answer. The boss is playing nighttime footsy with his neighbor, who happens to be the VP of his main rival. He thinks he's scammin' her for corporate secrets, while in actuality, she's swiping and copying his access cards while he's sleeping."
"Ohhhh," Dot said.
"Fake trucks, fake uniforms, and all they had to do is drive in and out with a cloned access card."
"Very good, Mr. Cruz. How did you Sherlock Holmes all that? Are you that good?"
"I am, Mrs. Cruz. Oh, let me get my cup." I jumped up to grab my cup from my main desk. "What can I get you? I even have my own mini stash in my office."
The door to my office smashed in as a large man flew past me, knocking the cup from my hand. The thug slammed into the window.
We heard the pulse blast sound from under his jacket. After a second delay, the window shattered as the thug rose from the floor with such a look of menace that I knew that no good was about to come next. The thug glared at me, reached into his jacket, and raised his arm towards me. I didn't consciously notice the gun, until after I already reacted.
Pop!
My pop-gun popped out and the pulse bullet blew through his neck with a cloud of smoke and blood. His face, with a shocked look, fell forward off his body and then his entire body fell back out the window.