Kitchen Witches

Kitchen Witches are not just those little broom-flying dolls that you see in people’s pantries. They are real people who enjoy making magic out of literally everything around their hearth. Nothing is safe from the creative kitchen witch’s eye—from appliances and food to the dog’s dish and pot holders! This section will give a whole new meaning to the idea of “stirring something up” in your kitchen.

Turning again to the Greeks for inspiration, the kitchen goddess is Hestia, the lady of the hearth, which is the heart of a living space. Hestia really keeps those home fires burning. She also represents duty, moderation, prudence, and patience, four things from which any home can benefit.

CUT THE CRAP:

Tired of some of the “b.s.” around you? Wish that people would just get to the point instead of beating around the bush? This amulet is designed to help. Grab a grocery bag, and draw an image on it that somehow represents your present situation. Fold this image inward three times, then take a steak knife or kitchen scissors and begin cutting the image into nine pieces, saying as you cut,

Truth be told, words be bold,
as I work, the magic unfolds.

Gather the scraps together; set one aside and burn or bury the rest. Carry the remaining scrap with you, or put it up in a visible area to help manifest your will. When the magic comes to pass, burn this last scrap with a prayer of thanks.

CAN IT!

Need to get rid of a nagging problem, or make the best of a bad situation? Try canning it! Take a small empty can and put an image of your problem into it. Bury this in a pot of soil, and plant some flower seeds over it. By the time the plant sprouts, the difficulty should wane; when it flowers, all should be well. Then, dry and carry the flower petals as an amulet to keep that problem from returning.

An earth-friendly alternative to the can would be to make a biodegradable image of your difficulty, such as one carved out of a potato, and place it in the compost heap. Then nature can “do her thing” and slowly decompose the problem, turning the negative energy into something useful!

LIFE SUCKS LEMONADE:

You know the old saying “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade”? Energize this idea with magic! Begin by making lemonade from scratch. As you take each lemon, focus on the area of difficulty and literally put the squeeze on it. Retain the lemon peels. Stir the juice counterclockwise (to banish negativity), saying “Gone, gone, gone, bad luck, be gone.” Focus your intention on turning things around, then begin stirring clockwise, saying “Mine, mine, mine, all good things are mine.” Drink a sip of this three times a day, over three days; before sipping, repeat the last incantation three times. This supports the magic.

Keep a piece of the dried lemon rind with you as part of a medicine bag or fetish for protection. Grind up the rest to use in magical incense or cleansing solutions.

ABUNDANCE ON THE RISE:

When you need financial improvements, try baking bread. Begin with any frozen dough and add to it diced spinach, diced onion, a pinch of basil, and a little dill, all of which are associated with prosperity. While kneading in the vegetables and spices, concentrate on your need, saying,

Money to me, money to me,
today I claim prosperity.

Baking energizes the magic, and eating the bread internalizes the energy of abundance in your life. Even if money doesn’t come right away, you won’t have to buy a fresh loaf this week!

Gypsy lore says to place one piece of this bread in your pocket. This brings prosperity, luck, and providence.

Adjusting the herbs and incantation in this spell can make it into a spell to lift your spirits. To do this, add diced olives and a pinch of marjoram to the bread, and say something like

Sadness cease, joy released,
cheer be free, inside of me.

Carry a piece of this to maintain happiness.

CLEAN UP YOUR ACT:

To help rid yourself of a bad habit, wash it away with your dishes! Begin by drawing an emblem of the habit, using dish soap on as many of the plates, glasses, and other dishes as possible. Wash each dish counterclockwise to banish the tendency, while focusing wholly on your intention to change your life. Afterward, begin making positive efforts to achieve your goal. Repeat as often as needed, or until the dishes are done.

For pocket magic, carry one of the small sample bottles of dish soap as a gentle reminder of your goal. When you feel you need to reinforce the magic, use the soap to wash your hands, drawing the same emblem on them, then neatly rinsing it away.

STOP WINEING:

The great thing about kitchen magic is the fact that puns often help the energy along. Take a glass of wine in hand. Look into the glass and tell it all the sources of aggravation you currently have. You’ll find it’s a great listener. Stir the wine counterclockwise with the index finger of your strong hand, saying,

Away from me, all negativity.
When from this cup, wine pours, let joy be restored.

Pour out three-fourths of the wine on the ground, and let the soil neatly absorb the irritation. Turn your back and walk away. Do not look back.

Put the remaining wine in a small bottle, such as those from the airlines, and keep it with you. When other small nuisances arise, you can pour out the magic wherever you are!

THE STOVETOP CAULDRON:

This bit of magic brings continuity to any situation. Begin with a soup pot. Set out the ingredients for your favorite soup. Name the individuals or circumstances involved in the situation at hand as you cut up and place the ingredients in the pot. The heat creates the sympathetic congruity between these different aspects or people, and stirring clockwise draws positive energy to the situation. At this point, pray for Hestia’s blessing. Pour off small helpings of the soup into sealed jars, and give one to each person involved in the situation. As they eat, they will internalize the power of harmony.

IT’S MY PANTRY AND I’LL SCRY IF I WANT TO:

Scrying is a form of divination that allows you to see symbolic or literal images in a specific medium as answers to questions. In the old days, scryers used a crystal, pond, or the sky. Today, your kitchen offers two easy alternatives: dish soap and creamer. If using dish soap, fill the sink with water, then add pearly soap to the top in a clockwise circle, thinking about a specific question as you pour. If using creamer, make your tea or coffee as usual, then pour in the creamer, also clockwise. Look at the shapes and images that form to discern the answer to your question. For example, if your query had to do with business, and a circle forms, this could mean that to attain your goal you’ll need unity or a specific circle of people.

Alternative Components:

A lot here depends on your intent. For love, use red or pink knickknacks; for peacefulness, use amethyst, moonstone, or turquoise decorations. To attract specific energies, put magnets on the refrigerator (with an appropriate symbol, like an eye for insight, underneath them). For a little luck, try simmering cinnamon potpourri. Eat green foods for prosperity, and drink fruit juice for healthy energy.

Work during a full moon for manifestation, on Saturday to generate outcomes, during the month of May for progress, or when the moon is in Cancer for sensitivity.