Reading Group Guide

1. 1. What do you think of the Prologue and the way Rachelle describes the feeling of being stuck? How do you think the analogy of the “pause button” does or does not have relevance in her life after the accident?
2. 2. In the first paragraph of Chapter 1, Rachelle talks about how carefully she and Chris planned out their future. How does this foreshadow the events to come? In what ways do they achieve or not achieve their goals?
3. 3. What do you think of how Rachelle and Chris met? Do you think their initial friendship is what ultimately made their relationship so strong? Is your significant other also your best friend?
4. 4. It can be fun to get all dolled up and find that perfect pair of shoes for a special occasion. On page 9, before her bachelorette party, Rachelle says, “I wanted the perfect white high heels, or else I felt like the entire outfit would be ruined.” Does this statement seem insignificant now? Have you ever had a time in your life when you worried about something somewhat superficial only to later realize how unimportant it was?
5. 5. The night of the accident the girls form a silent pact, an unbreakable bond, among them. Do you have a group of friends that you have this type of powerful bond with? Have you experienced any moments of tragedy in which you have helped one another survive, either physically or emotionally?
6. 6. What are some of the things we take for granted in our day-to-day lives? After Rachelle’s accident she can no longer hold Chris’s hand or do her own hair. Are there ways to feel more gratitude for the seemingly little things in life?
7. 7. In Chapter 8 Rachelle talks about how she wasn’t able to cry and was finding humor in her day-to-day moments. What do you think about others’ expectations of how we should react in moments of challenge or tragedy? Do you find it strange that she didn’t cry or get angry? Do you think it’s interesting that her honest, true reaction was so different from what others assumed it would be? What can you learn from this?
8. 8. In Chapter 9, when Rachelle chronicles her experiences in rehab, she talks about how her friend Carly even learned to insert her catheter. On page 57 she says, “I think we women, as a group, underestimate our power.” Do you agree? Can you share any memories you have of the collective power of women?
9. 9. In Chapter 10, on page 60, Rachelle mentions that many people asked if she and Chris would still be together after the accident; she feels sorry for them because they must not know true love. Do you think their question is a valid one? If you were in a similar situation, would you have to think about it or would it never even cross your mind?
10. 10. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? In Chapter 10 Rachelle talks about this statement and the idea that other people had that positive thinking could lead to her walking again. Do you think this belief is more harmful or helpful to people? Are there times when it’s appropriate and times when it isn’t?
11. 11. In Chapter 12 Rachelle takes her first trip outside of the hospital and visits a park where she has an “able-bodied” history. Can you imagine how that would be difficult? Have you ever been in a situation where you return to a place that is full of memories of another time? Her father makes the profound statement, “It’s actually a really good and important philosophy to make new memories every single day, especially now that you are healing. We shouldn’t live for old ones. We should live for new ones.” What do you think of this? Why is it important? How can you apply it to your own life?
12. 12. In Chapter 13 Rachelle describes having sex with Chris for the first time after the accident. Do you think the intimacy between them has grown? How does Rachelle find other ways to feel connected to Chris? What do you find more important, physical or emotional intimacy?
13. 13. How do you think Rachelle’s competitive spirit helps her to recover from the accident? How does seeing her rehab as a game help her to get through it? How much does attitude have to do with it? She talks about the difference between her father, who never simply let her win, and kids today, who are more coddled in that respect. Do you think that it means more when you have to work for something? Are we doing a disservice to today’s kids by giving them all trophies? Does hard work build resilience in the long run?
14. 14. When Rachelle comes home from rehab, her mother has to move in with her to help care for her. How would you feel if your mother moved in with you? Would it be difficult? How might it change the nature of your bond?
15. 15. What do you think about some of the issues Rachelle now faces, such as parking? Are you surprised by how thoughtless people can be? Are there ways we can change this behavior by enforcing stricter laws and/or higher fines?
16. 16. What do you think of the pact that the five friends made? In today’s world of posting everything on Facebook and Twitter, do you think it shows a strong sense of character that these women were able to keep this important secret? What do you think of the word prank? Was it mean of the media to use such a word? Does the Internet provide a forum where people can more easily hide behind their cruelty?
17. 17. In Chapter 20 Rachelle talks about turning down Oprah and how her concern grew for the friend who had playfully pushed her. She tells the friend not to waste her money paying someone for help because Rachelle will always be there to listen. What do you think of this? Would you have suggested that your friend see a professional therapist?
18. 18. What do you think of Rachelle’s friend Sandra? Do you think it would be hard to be left out of the group that made the pact after the accident, or do you think in some ways she’s lucky she wasn’t there? Were her reaction and behavior immature? Do you think you can have a real friendship with someone who doesn’t make the effort to spend time with you during a challenging time? Have you had any moments in your life where you feel as if you found out who your true friends were?
19. 19. Do you think that Rachelle and Chris’s wedding was more meaningful in some ways because of everything they had been through? Was it a milestone for everyone? Did it provide a sense of closure after such a terrible tragedy?
20. 20. In Chapter 34 Rachelle talks about whether she’d rather bear her friend’s burden or her own. Which do you think would be harder?
21. 21. What do you think of the water imagery in the Epilogue? Are you surprised that Rachelle still has no fear of the water and in fact loves it? Are you impressed by her courage to try surfing?
22. 22. What do you think of Rachelle’s comments in the Epilogue about how women are always judging themselves and picking themselves apart? Do you find yourself doing that, too? After reading her story, can you better accept your physical appearance and appreciate all that your body can do for you?