CHAPTER 2

THE MISSING PUNCH LINE

“And here I thought you would have at least one night off,” Alfred Pennyworth said as he set down a breakfast tray on the computer console in the Batcave.

“No such luck,” said Batwoman. She and Batman sat at the Batcomputer. They stared up at the main monitor. Lines of data streamed across the screen.

“There must have been something mixed in with the food and drink from last night,” Batman said as he typed on the keyboard.

“It makes sense,” Batwoman agreed. “I didn’t eat or drink anything last night, so I wasn’t affected.”

“And I was,” said Batman. He had finally stopped feeling the effects of whatever had made him amused by the robbery.

“I’m assuming you brought back samples of the tainted refreshments?” asked Alfred.

“The computer’s analyzing them now,” replied Batman. “It may take a while, but if there’s something there, it will find it.”

Alfred stepped forward and pointed to one of the smaller computer screens. It showed a woman who appeared to be filming herself for social media.

“Since you insist on monitoring all of Gotham City’s activities,” the butler said, “perhaps you should focus on this young lady’s video.”

Batman tapped a few keys and the image of the woman filled the main screen. The video’s sound flowed from the speakers.

“Can you believe it?” the woman asked. “The bank’s being robbed. How cool is that?” She held up two fingers and smiled as crooks wearing gas masks hurried about in the background.

Batman checked another screen. “No alarms were triggered. The police have no idea this is happening.”

“And she doesn’t seem too worried about the situation,” Batwoman noted.

“Yes,” agreed Batman. “Sound familiar?”

The two crime fighters sprinted toward the waiting Batmobile. They leaped into the open hatch and the engine roared to life. The hatch slid shut as the vehicle rocketed out of the Batcave.

Alfred sighed and picked up the untouched breakfast tray. “And I suppose you won’t have the morning off, either.”

* * *

“Come on!” shouted one of the bank robbers. His voice was muffled through his gas mask. “This is taking too long.”

“What’s the rush?” asked another masked criminal. “No one hit any alarm buttons.” He pointed at the group of customers and bank employees sitting along a wall. “Look at ’em! They don’t even care that they’re being robbed.”

The group of people simply smiled back at him. A couple even waved.

The first robber held up the small metal tank. “They won’t be like that for much longer. We’re almost out of gas.”

“All right,” said a third robber as he hefted a large bag over his shoulder. “We got enough. Let’s get out of here!”

All five masked criminals ran toward the main doors. Just as they were about to exit, something sent them flying backward. Cash fluttered into the air as the crooks tumbled across the floor. As they scrambled to their feet, the robbers saw that their exit was blocked—by Batman and Batwoman.

“I would recommend you give yourselves up,” Batwoman said, her voice muffled by her own gas mask. “But where’s the fun in that?” The crime fighters charged the crooks.

Wearing a small gas mask of his own, Batman closed in on the nearest robber. He held up an arm as the thug swung a bag of cash at him.

SLASH!

The points on the Dark Knight’s glove cut through the bag and all the money spilled out. The criminal was left holding an empty sack as Batman dropped and kicked the crook’s legs out from under him. THUD! The crook hit the floor, and the crime fighter moved on to the next robber.

Batwoman leaped into the air, flipped over one robber, and landed between two more. POW! She punched one, sending him staggering back. Then she ducked as the other crook took a swing at her. She spun around, landing a kick to his chest. WHACK! He slammed against a nearby wall—out cold.

The robber with the metal tank snuck up behind Batwoman as she fought. He raised it high above his head, ready to strike.

WHIP-PANG!

Batman fired his grapnel at the tank and it clamped on. The Dark Knight jerked the line and the tank flew from the crook’s hands. Batman swung the tank around and slammed it into the surprised criminal, knocking him out.

Meanwhile, Batwoman ducked and dodged swings from the other two robbers. “All right,” she said. “Enough messing around.” She grabbed both by the back of the neck and slammed them into each other.

SMACK!

Both robbers fell to the ground in an unconscious heap.

The crime fighters slowly turned around as the bank customers and employees applauded. A couple even cheered and whistled.

“And here I thought this was a thankless job,” said Batwoman.

Batman looked at the tank in his hand and shook his head.