CHAPTER 5
FREE REFRESHMENTS
Batman dropped through the broken skylight. Bits of glass crunched beneath his boots as he moved about the room. A red light blinked on the tiny screen in his hand, leading him to the trench coat on the floor. He reached down and pulled off the tiny tracker.
The Dark Knight touched the side of his head. “Any word from Batwoman, Penny-One?” he asked. Penny-One was Alfred’s code name.
“Nothing yet, sir, I’m afraid,” replied the butler’s voice in his earpiece.
The World’s Greatest Detective pulled out a flashlight and began scanning the room for clues. The first thing he spotted was an oversized mallet—the handle snapped in half. Batman sneered. “Harley Quinn.”
He then spotted the net and set of bolas on the floor. Many of their ropes had been sliced apart. Batman moved the flashlight beam onto a smashed crate.
Hot dog buns? Batman thought. What are you up to, Joker?
The Dark Knight scanned the room for more clues. He spotted a football helmet, cheerleading pom-poms, and a jersey for Gotham City’s football team—the Gotham Knights.
“Hmm … I think I know the Joker’s next target,” the Caped Crusader told Alfred. “I need to get to Gotham City Stadium as quickly as possible.”
“The Batmobile is not fast enough for you, sir?” Alfred asked.
Batman pressed a button on his Utility Belt. “I’m sending the Batmobile back,” he said. “I’ll need something faster.”
Alfred paused a moment, then said, “It’s on its way.”
* * *
Once again, Batwoman struggled against the ropes that held her tight. But just as before, the hyenas on either side of her turned and growled. They bared their sharp teeth until she stopped moving. She wasn’t going anywhere.
The crime fighter was tied up in front of a small stage at the center of the Gotham Knights’ football field. Football fans filled the stadium around her, but they didn’t seem to care that she was trapped between two vicious animals.
“Looks like everyone’s been dosed with more watered-down Joker toxin,” Batwoman murmured.
“You better believe it,” the Joker said as he hopped onto the stage. He snatched the microphone from the stand and looked up at the crowd. “Is everyone ready for the halftime show?”
The audience cheered in response.
The Joker chuckled. “I see everyone has enjoyed the free refreshments we provided.”
The audience cheered louder.
“Good, good,” the Joker said. “Now, I’ve been working on some new material just for this occasion.” The criminal cleared his throat. “Why did they kick Cinderella off the football team?”
“Why?” the audience asked in unison.
“Because she kept running away from the ball,” the Joker said, bursting into laughter.
The obedient audience laughed along with him.
Harley Quinn flipped up on stage. She shook two black and red pom-poms. “Joker! Joker! He’s our man!” she cheered. “If he can’t make you laugh, no one can!”
“Not now, Harley,” the Joker growled. “Save it for the big finish.”
Harley froze and hung her head. “Sorry, Mr. J,” she said.
The Joker turned back toward the crowd. “That’s right, folks,” he said with a grin. “After a quick game of Splat the Bat …” Harley grinned and pointed to the giant mallet on the stage. “The grand finale will be fireworks containing my full-strength Joker toxin!” The Joker laughed and then covered his mouth. “Whoops! Spoiler alert!”
Once again, the audience didn’t seem to mind the threat. They cheered even louder.
Suddenly, a dark shadow covered the stadium. The Batplane hovered in the sky before landing on the football field.
“Oh, boy,” the Joker moaned. “Don’t you just hate hecklers?”
Harley broke out into another cheer. “Two, four, six, eight! Who do we annihilate? Batman! Batman! Yay!”
The plane’s hatch slid open and Batman sprang from the cockpit. He flipped in midair before landing in front of the small stage.
“We got this, Mr. J,” Harley said as she dropped her pom-poms. She grabbed her mallet and pointed at Batman. “Crackers! Giggles! Fetch!”
The hyenas tore after the Dark Knight. Batman didn’t run. Instead, he reached into his Utility Belt and flung two tranquilizer darts at the beasts. They struck the animals and knocked them out cold. The hyenas slid to a stop at Batman’s feet.
Harley frowned and stomped a foot. “Hey, no fair!”
With the hyenas out of the picture, Batwoman pulled a Batarang from her Utility Belt. She used its sharp edge to cut through her ropes.
In a flash, Batwoman was on her feet and on the move. She kicked Harley Quinn as the crook raised her mallet. The criminal flew back several feet.
The Joker growled in frustration. “Must I do everything myself?!!” He grabbed the microphone stand and charged at Batman.
The audience cheered as the battle began. The Joker swung at Batman with the stand while Harley Quinn swung at Batwoman with the mallet. The two crime fighters easily dodged the attacks.
Batwoman moved in before Harley could raise the mallet again.
BAM! BAM! BAM! SMACK!
She performed three quick punches and a spinning kick before the criminal knew what hit her.
Harley dropped the mallet and crumpled to the ground.
Meanwhile, Batman blocked another blow from the Joker. The Dark Knight grabbed the stand and wrestled it from the crook’s hands. But as he gave up his weapon, the Joker landed several punches on the Caped Crusader. Batman stumbled back, then tossed the mic stand aside.
The Joker shook his head and sighed. “You really do ruin everything, don’t you?” He pulled out a small remote and pressed a red button. “So much for my big finish.”
POW-POW-POW-POW! POW!
Fireworks launched all around them. They shot into the air and exploded into bright-green clouds of gas. The clouds began to drift toward the crowd.
“Oooh!” shouted the unaware audience all around the stadium. “Ah!”
“Batman! Those fireworks are full of Joker toxin,” Batwoman explained. “And it’s at full strength!”
Batman growled and punched the Joker. Then the crime fighter touched the side of his head.
“Penny-One, take control of the Batplane,” the Dark Knight commanded.
“At once, sir,” replied Alfred’s voice in Batman’s earpiece. The plane’s engines fired up, and the jet rose off the field.
“We have some air pollution here,” Batman said as he blocked another attack from the Joker.
“Ah, yes,” Alfred replied. “I see it.”
The Batplane hovered over the stadium. A hatch on the belly of the plane slid open and a large hose snaked out. As the plane circled the stadium, its large hose sucked up the toxic green gas.
“Good job,” Batman said. He cuffed the Joker’s hands behind his back.
“A butler does know how to vacuum,” Alfred replied.
Once the air was clear, the hose retracted and the plane leveled out. It buzzed over the football field.
WHOOOSH!
Batman’s cape fluttered as the jet raced by. The unsuspecting football fans cheered at the dazzling air show.
The Joker wobbled on his feet, watching the Batplane. “Well, that wasn’t very funny.”
Batwoman dragged over a cuffed and groggy Harley Quinn. “Looks like the joke’s on you two,” she said.
Batman walked the Joker off the field. “And the punch line is there’s no escape for you this time.”
The Joker flashed his wicked grin. “We’ll just see about that,” he murmured.