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“Keep it right there, just like that baby,” I said with a moan. It was a fake moan, but James wouldn’t have noticed it, even if he’d cared. He was one of those dudes who was in it for himself. He didn’t give too many fucks about whether or not I came, not that I could have; his dick wasn’t that big.
As I lay there on my back, putting on an Academy Award winning performance, if I had to say so myself, I was thankful for two things. One of them was that he was almost done. James, like most men, had a schedule when it came to sex, even if he didn’t know it. Things might change up during the foreplay but not through the act. He thought that he was flipping the script every now and then with different positions and things, but, like most men, he didn’t realize that it took more than just shoving himself inside of a woman to drive her to a much-needed orgasm.
The second thing that I was thankful for had to do with money. James was planning on giving me some money, but by the time I finished with him, it was gonna be a lot more than he’d originally planned. It was show-time, and I had an act to put on.
“Let me get on top, baby,” I moaned to him. If James were younger, I would have just flipped the two of us over, but him being a pretty out of shape 48 year old meant that I couldn’t whip out all of my tricks on him. He was on top of me in the missionary position, thinking that he was doing something.
“Oh, yes,” he said. It was dimly lit in the room, but he flashed a bright smile. His ass was happy, and as soon as I got my money, I would be too.
James pulled himself out of me and turned over on his back. I looked down at him and reached over to turn the light off. You know that saying about what’s done in the dark coming to light? I was fine with this whole experience, including James himself, staying in the dark.
Let me make something clear to you; I wasn’t a prostitute. I’m sure that bitches called me that behind my back, but none of them brought it to my face, so I hoped they had a great time talking about me.
I knew a lot of people judged me for the life I lived, but none of them knew the details, so who were they to judge? They thought they knew, but I kept to myself. I didn’t sleep with men for money, but I slept with men that had money, and they did things for me when I asked them to. It was a give and take. I gave them some pussy; they gave me money, or paid a bill, or bought me something. I wasn’t a sugar baby or anything like that, ‘cause I wasn’t reliant on any one person for anything. I did what I did to survive, and I’d gone beyond that now; I was thriving. I also wasn’t one of those devout Christians who believed in keeping it on lock until marriage. God knew my heart and my body, so he knew what I needed.
I wasn’t helpless either. I took care of myself. I’d graduated from Spellman with a Bachelors in Accounting, and then I went back and got a Masters in Finance. From a young age, I’d been very good with numbers, so it made sense. I’d thought about starting my own accounting firm but never made it past the thinking stage.
Anyways, I used guys for things. There was no shame in my game about it. I made sure that I had the things that I needed; a house, my bills paid, my car, stuff like that. I also made sure that I had money saved up. I used men to buy me the things that I wanted.
Beauty ranked far above any other currencies in the world. If you added beauty, a great body and personality, and the knowledge on how to work these niggas for all they were worth, you had me, Tanya Rivers. My mother wouldn’t have been proud of the things I did, but I worked hard to make sure she never found out. If she ever knew about the men I slept with, she never said anything.
I wasn’t a call girl or anything so formal. I just had the ability to get myself into the right places and meet the right men. I didn’t have time to get caught up in feelings. I wasn’t dumb enough to believe that myth that there was someone out there for everybody. If there was, I wasn’t waiting around for them.
I rode the fuck out of James until he came a couple of minutes later. I made sure to put on a show and make it sound like he was really doing something to me. It wasn’t something I usually did, but he was the type that liked shit like that.
After we were done, the two of us lay in bed together. My head was resting on the pillow as he lay on his back beside me. His eyes were half-closed. I always ended up putting him to sleep. I would have let him doze off while I got up and got dressed, but I needed something from him.
“James, are you up?” I asked in a half-whisper.
“Yeah...yeah,” he said with a moan and a grunt. “Yeah, I’m up. What’s goin’ on?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” I said.
“About what?” he asked. He turned on his side to face me. James wasn’t ugly. He was one of those guys who looked like he was really handsome when he was younger and somehow managed to grow out of his looks. He was overweight though...very overweight.
“Are you gonna be able to help me pay for my ticket?” I asked him. I’d mentioned to him earlier that I was trying to go to Essence Festival. The tickets were about to go on sale, and I wanted to be there to experience everything.
“Yeah, you said you wanted me to pay half of it, right?” James asked. I would have rolled my eyes if he hadn’t been looking at me. James had a great memory, so when he asked his question, I was sure that he already knew the answer.
“That’s what I said, but would you be able to help me do a little more? I’m trying to be in the V.I.P. lounges and stuff,” I said to him. I cracked a little smirk, and he ate it up.
“Girl, you be costing me money,” he said in a fake, tired tone.
“But I’m worth it right?” I asked him. “Don’t think I ain’t notice how you were falling asleep.”
He laughed at me. “Hush,” he said. “I’m tired. I’m ‘bout to go to sleep. I got you though. I can write you a check in the morning.”
“Would you be able to wire it to me? I wasn’t gonna stay tonight. I have church in the morning,” I said. I wasn’t lying either. I never missed church, if I could help it.
“I forgot you go to church,” he said. “All the sinning that we be doing, maybe I should go to.” He chuckled at his joke. “I can wire it to you. I was hoping you’d spend the night though. I only got this room ‘cause I thought you were spending the night.”
James stretched out his arms and tried to wrap them around me. I wasn’t in the mood for his sweaty self to be back on me, so I moved to nicely block his advances.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’ll make it up to you next time.”
“I bet you will,” James replied.
I got out of bed and got dressed. I took a cab back over to my place, and when I got home, I texted James letting him know I had made it in safely. I took a long, hot shower and climbed into bed. I double checked my account to see if James had sent the money yet. He hadn’t, but I decided to wait until after church to send him a reminder text.
The next day, Pastor Stewart preached a lovely sermon. I thought long and hard about what he was saying as he was preaching to us. I couldn’t think of anything that I’d want to give up. I liked the way I lived too much. It all worked itself together too well. I gave my 10% and sometimes a little more if I could spare it; that within itself was enough.
I wasn’t the only person in the room that was taken by surprise when he issued his challenge and told us the church was in danger. I made a mental note to try and speak to Andre, the treasurer of the church and also my occasional fuck buddy. He’d surely tell me what was going on.
I didn’t sleep with every man that I dealt with, not even most. A lot of guys just wanted the feeling of having a beautiful woman on their arm or in their presence. Still, I was a woman and had certain itches that needed to be scratched, and Andre was one of the only people that seemed to get to those hard-to-reach places.
Andre Mattis was 37 years old but didn’t look anywhere older than 32 on his worst day. He was tall, about 6’ 3”. He used to play basketball until he got an injury that sidelined his career. He’d played a couple of years in the NBA and apparently had made some good investments, so he was still rich from what I saw. His skin was hi-yellow like the color of cornbread. He had puppy dog brown eyes and jet black hair that was just starting to gray, giving him a sexy ass salt and pepper look. His face was always clean cut, and he kept his hair in a low fade.
Andre hadn’t been on my radar at first. I preferred to keep it outside of the church. He had been the one to approach me. I’d turned him down a couple of times on account of the fact that he was a prominent church member and he had a wife, not to mention that he was a local celebrity. He finally convinced me to go out to dinner with him, and that night, he’d given me the best dick of my life. He and I hooked up every now and then, and as I was walking out of church, I thought about how I needed a little rendezvous with him.
“Look, look, look,” I heard a voice behind me say.
“You would think this was the club and not the house of the Lord,” said another voice in agreement.
I stopped walking, turned around, and spotted old ass Annalise Gibbons whispering to one of the women from her little clique. They were standing off to the side of the church exit. Service had ended a few minutes prior, and the people were slowly filing out. We were in the lobby of the church, so I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I wanted her to know that I’d heard her nonetheless.
She was lucky that she was old enough to be my mother; otherwise she would have gotten checked. I never understood why people didn’t just mind their business. I knew my dress was a little tight for their taste, but that was the way I liked it, so I couldn’t figure out why anyone else should care.
I paused just before reaching the door. I turned to Annalise and her friend and put on a fake smile. “Did you say something, Sister?” I asked. My words might have been friendly, but Annalise was no dummy. She knew that I had been privy to her recent discussion. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had said it loud enough for me to hear on purpose.
“What? No,” she said. She appeared a little shook by me coming to a stop. Her friend didn’t utter another word either. Both of them just stood there in their big ass hats staring at me like I had two heads.
“Oh, okay,” I said, “just wanted to make sure. You ladies have a good day.”
“You too,” said Annalise’s friend. I spotted her getting a nasty look thrown her way as I walked off with my confident strut.
Once I got out of the building, I spoke to a couple of the people that I was actually cool with and then proceeded to make my way to my car. I had a date set for right after, but he’d be able to wait the extra fifteen minutes it would take for me to finally get home. He was coming to pick me up, so it didn’t matter to me.
My expensive heels clicked on the pavement as I made my way over to my vehicle. My car was my pride and joy. I’d bought it with my own money; a black, two-door BMW. My baby wasn’t even a year old yet. I’d named her Grace after my mother.
As I walked over to Grace, I could help but to notice the eyes on me. I spotted a couple of guys glancing in my direction, their wives trying their hardest not to let them look at my curves, but it wasn’t working. I couldn’t hide my curves, and they couldn’t take their eyes off of them. It was typical of men and also their women.
Thankfully, I didn’t go to church for the crowd, I went for the Lord and the word of Pastor White Stewart. Growing up, I was always told that the most important relationship that a person can have is with God, so even after my mother died, I kept right on going, just like she had right up until she was called home. I didn’t live with her, but I’d pick her up every Sunday and drive her to church like clockwork. It had been almost a year since breast cancer had taken her life. It wasn’t something I liked to talk about, but I dealt with it as best I could.
I finally got to my car, glad to be leaving the parking lot and all the judgmental stares. I’d been with a very small number of guys in the church, and a two of them had wives. They knew better than to tell anyone but God about us. Men in general liked to gossip, but no one liked to gossip more than the single ones. They had mouths just as big or even bigger than some of the bitches I knew. I’d had to check more than a few guys over the years because of how they would try to run their mouths about me. I wasn’t with the shits.
I threw my purse into the backseat and walked around to the other side of the car. I admired myself in the reflection in the vehicle’s window.
My mother was always a beautiful woman, and she’d passed her looks down to me thankfully. I had smooth brown skin, the color of hot chocolate. My hair was naturally jet black and thick as hell. I usually ended up just rocking shoulder length box braids. My looks might have come from my mother, but I wasn’t sure where my curves came from. I had thick hips, long legs, and a plump, juicy ass. My breasts developed early but stopped growing at a D-cup. As I got older, I grew out of the awkwardness of being young, and at 29 years old, I was comfortable with my body and the effect that it had on people.
I pulled out of the lot and drove for a couple of minutes until I stopped at a light. My phone was connected to my car’s Bluetooth, so once it started ringing, the sound filled the whole car. I glanced down and saw that it was my brunch date for later, Darrell Smithson.
Darrell was an up and rising star in the world of Atlanta finance and a colleague of mine, though he was a couple of rungs above the ladder from where I was. He was making quite a name for himself with a knack for being able to pick out good stocks. I knew that the best way to get a foot in the door was the start off from the ground floor, and that was what I was doing. If I played my cards right, I’d be able to string him along and get a couple of nice purchases and maybe even a few trips. He was in a different tax bracket and could afford the expense.