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“You’ve done it before and you can do it again,” I said in a hushed tone of voice. I was in my office at the church on the phone. I was trying to be quiet in case my secretary could hear me. I didn’t need anyone in my business, especially not this business.
I listened while the voice on the other end of the phone gave me excuses.
“No, I don’t care. You can make it work. Don’t forget what I know and more importantly who I know.”
Just then there was a knock at the door.
I covered the phone with my hand. “Yes?”
My secretary, Diana, opened the door. She was the daughter of one of the board members. She was working there during the summer while she was home from school. It was a favor to one of them, but she’d been doing a really good job. “Um...Pastor...I don’t know how to tell you this, but we seem to be having some money issues.”
“Let me call you back,” I said to the person on the phone. I ended the call and replaced the receiver.
“Come in,” I said. I held my hand out offering her a seat. “What do you mean?”
“Well, all morning we’ve been getting calls from people on the church payroll saying that they either haven’t gotten their direct deposits or haven’t been able to cash their checks.”
My eyebrows rose. “Really? Are you serious?”
I hadn’t even checked my own account today. I grabbed my cell from the desk, and when I logged into the app for my bank, I saw that I hadn’t been paid either.
“Have you called Andre yet?” I asked her. Andre Mattis was the church treasurer and one of my good friends.
“I’ve tried calling him several times, and some of the church members did the same thing,” she said. “He’s not answering.”
“I’m sure it’s just an oversight on his part,” I said. I was trying to assure her, but if she knew the truth, I could only imagine her response. “I’ll try calling him. If people keep calling, let them know I’m working on it, and I’ll have a response soon.”
“Ok, sounds good,” she said. She stood up and walked towards the door. She was halfway out of it when she stopped to turn around. “Pastor Stewart, one more thing.”
I looked up at her. “Yes?”
“Tanya Bell has been looking for Andre Mattis for a while too. She’s been down here more often than I’ve seen her before, but he’s never in his office. I ask her what she wants, but she never tells me.”
“Hmmm...yeah, that is a bit strange,” I said. “I’ll ask her about it.”
“Ok,” she said with a nod.
I smiled. “You can take a long lunch if you want. I’m sure that all of those calls have been stressful.”
She smiled at back at me. “Thanks,” she said. “I’ve got some errands to run, but I’ll be back shortly.”
Once I was sure that Diana was gone, I slammed my hand down on the desk. It wasn’t supposed to be this way! I had worked very hard to make sure that I had everything under control, and somehow it had slipped out of my hands.
I was feeling more stressed than ever lately. Two and a half weeks into this fast, and I felt like I was losing my mind. Gambling was calling my name and I wanted some action. Whether it was betting on a sport or playing poker, I felt like it was seeking me out. I’d been jittery and antsy lately due to my craving and itching to gamble.
I had other things on my mind as well though. I was trying to take this break and use it to get my finances back in order. Before Diana had come into my office, I’d been on the phone with the person who was helping me manage all the money I needed to put back. I wouldn’t call it stealing; I never had any ill intent and I always intended to repay in full.
This stuff with the church payroll was top priority; it had to be settled by the end of the day. It was the most pressing thing I needed to worry about.
Outside of that stuff, Tanya Bell had been lurking around trying to speak to Andre. I needed to keep my eye on her. I knew that she hadn’t bought my little story about why I was at Catherine’s, but I never expected her to try and keep digging around. Tanya usually minded her business.
I needed to get my ducks in a row. I had too many loose ends to tie up, and I didn’t have time to deal with them. As much as I thought this fast would be good for the church, it was proving to be too much of a headache. I didn’t have time to do anything for myself because I always needed to be available to help someone else. I needed to refocus before it all came tumbling down.