FINDING WORK
QUERY LETTER CLINIC

Many great writers ask year after year, “Why is it so hard to get published?’’ In many cases, these writers have spent years developing their craft. They submit to the appropriate markets, yet rejection is always the end result. The culprit? A weak query letter.

The query letter is often the most important piece of the publishing puzzle. In many cases, it determines whether editors or agents will even read your manuscript. A good query makes a good first impression; a bad query earns a swift rejection.

ELEMENTS OF A QUERY

A query letter should sell editors or agents on your idea or convince them to request your finished manuscript. The most effective query letters get into the specifics from the very first line. It’s important to remember that the query is a call to action, not a listing of features and benefits.

In addition to selling your idea or manuscript, a query can include information on the availability of photographs or artwork. You can include a working title and projected word count. Depending on the piece, you might also mention whether a sidebar might be appropriate and the type of research you plan to conduct. If appropriate, include a tentative deadline and indicate whether the query is being simultaneously submitted.

Biographical information should be included as well, but don’t overdo it unless your background actually helps sell the article or proves that you’re the only person who could write your proposed piece.

THINGS TO AVOID IN QUERY

The query is not a place to discuss pay rates. This step comes after an editor has agreed to take on your article or book. Besides making an unprofessional impression, it can also work to your disadvantage in negotiating your fee. If you ask too much, an editor may not even contact you to see if a lower rate works. If you ask for too little, you may start an editorial relationship where you make less than the normal rate.

You should also avoid rookie mistakes, such as mentioning your work is copyrighted or including the copyright symbol on your work. While you want to make it clear that you’ve researched the market, avoid using flattery as a technique for selling your work. It often has the opposite effect of what you intend. In addition, don’t hint that you can re-write the piece, as this only leads the editor to think there will be a lot of work involved in shaping up your writing.

Also, never admit several other editors or agents have rejected the query. Always treat your new audience as if they are the first place on your list.

HOW TO FORMAT A QUERY

It’s OK to break writing rules in a short story or article, but you should follow the rules when it comes to crafting an effective query. Here are guidelines for query writing.

HOW TO FOLLOW UP

Accidents do happen. Queries may not reach your intended reader. Staff changes or interoffice mail snafus may end up with your query letter thrown away. Or the editor may have set your query off to the side for further consideration and forgotten it. Whatever the case may be, there are some basic guidelines you should use for your follow-up communication.

Most importantly, wait until the reported response time, as indicated in Writer’s Market or their submission guidelines, has elapsed before contacting an editor or agent. Then, you should send a short and polite e-mail describing the original query sent, the date it was sent, and asking if they received it or made a decision regarding its fate.

The importance of remaining polite and businesslike when following up cannot be stressed enough. Making a bad impression on an editor can often have a ripple effect—as that editor may share his or her bad experience with other editors at the magazine or publishing company. Also, don’t call.

HOW THE CLINIC WORKS

As mentioned earlier, the query letter is the most important weapon for getting an assignment or a request for your full manuscript. Published writers know how to craft a well-written, hard-hitting query. What follows are eight queries: four are strong; four are not. Detailed comments show what worked and what did not. As you’ll see, there is no cut-and-dried “good’’ query format; every strong query works on its own merit.

GOOD NONFICTION MAGAZINE QUERY

Jimmy Boaz, editor

American Organic Farmer’s Digest

8336 Old Dirt Road

Macon GA 00000

Dear Mr. Boaz,

There are 87 varieties of organic crops grown in the United States, but there’s only one farm producing 12 of these—Morganic Corporation.

Located in the heart of Arkansas, this company spent the past decade providing great organic crops at a competitive price helping them grow into the ninth leading organic farming operation in the country. Along the way, they developed the most unique organic offering in North America.

As a seasoned writer with access to Richard Banks, the founder and president of Morganic, I propose writing a profile piece on Banks for your Organic Shakers department. After years of reading this riveting column, I believe the time has come to cover Morganic’s rise in the organic farming industry.

This piece would run in the normal 800-1,200 word range with photographs available of Banks and Morganic’s operation.

I’ve been published in Arkansas Farmer’s Deluxe, Organic Farming Today and in several newspapers.

Thank you for your consideration of this article. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Jackie Service

34 Good St.

Little Rock AR 00000

jackie.service9867@email.com

My name is only available on our magazine’s website and on the masthead. This writer has done her research. Here’s a story that hasn’t been pitched before. I didn’t know Morganic was so unique in the market. I want to know more. The writer has access to her interview subject, and she displays knowledge of the magazine by pointing out the correct section in which her piece would run. While I probably would’ve assigned this article based on the idea alone, her past credits do help solidify my decision.

BAD NONFICTION MAGAZINE QUERY

Dear Gentlemen,

I’d like to write the next great article you’ll ever publish. My writing credits include amazing pieces I’ve done for local and community newspapers and for my college English classes. I’ve been writing for years and years.

Your magazine may not be a big one like Rolling Stone or Sports Illustrated, but I’m willing to write an interview for you anyway. I know you need material, and I need money. (Don’t worry. I won’t charge you too much.)

Just give me some people to interview, and I’ll do the best job you’ve ever read. It will be amazing, and I can re-write the piece for you if you don’t agree. I’m willing to re-write 20 times if needed.

You better hurry up and assign me an article though, because I’ve sent out letters to lots of other magazines, and I’m sure to be filled up to capacity very soon.

Later gents,

Carl Bighead

76 Bad Query Lane

Big City NY 00000

This is sexist, and it doesn’t address any contact specifically. An over-the-top claim by a writer who does not impress me with his publishing background. Insults the magazine and then reassures me he won’t charge too much? While I do assign material from time to time, I prefer writers pitch me their own ideas after studying the magazine. I’m sure people aren’t going to be knocking down his door anytime soon.

GOOD FICTION MAGAZINE QUERY

Marcus West

88 Piano Drive

Lexington KY 00000

August 8, 2011

Jeanette Curic, editor

Wonder Stories

45 Noodle Street

Portland OR 00000

Dear Ms. Curic,

Please consider the following 1,200-word story, “Turning to the Melon,” a quirky coming-of-age story with a little magical realism thrown in the mix.

After reading Wonder Stories for years, I think I’ve finally written something that would fit with your audience. My previous short story credits include Stunned Fiction Quarterly and Faulty Mindbomb.

Thank you in advance for considering “Turning to Melon.”

Sincerely,

Marcus West

(123) 456-7890

marcusw87452@email.com

Encl: Manuscript and SASE

Follows the format we established in our guidelines. Being able to follow directions is more important than many writers realize. Story is in our word count, and the description sounds like the type of story we would consider publishing. It’s flattering to know he reads our magazine. While it won’t guarantee publication, it does make me a little more hopeful that the story I’m reading will be a good fit. Also, good to know he’s been published before. I can figure it out, but it’s nice to know what other materials were included in the envelope. This letter is not flashy, but it gives me the basics and puts me in the right frame of mind to read the actual story.

BAD FICTION MAGAZINE QUERY

To: curic@wonderstories808.com

Subject: A Towering Epic Fantasy

Hello there.

I’ve written a great fantasy epic novel short story of about 25,000 words that may be included in your magazine if you so desire.

More than 20 years, I’ve spent chained to my desk in a basement writing out the greatest story of our modern time. And it can be yours if you so desire to have it.

Just say the word, and I’ll ship it over to you. We can talk money and movie rights after your acceptance. I have big plans for this story, and you can be part of that success.

Yours forever (if you so desire),

Harold

(or Harry for friends)

We do not consider e-mail queries or submissions. This is a little too informal. First off, what did he write? An epic novel or short story? Second, 25,000 words is way over our 1,500-word max. I’m lost for words. Money and movie rights? We pay moderate rates and definitely don’t get involved in movies. I’m sure the writer was just trying to be nice, but this is a little bizarre and kind of creepy. I do not so desire more contact with “Harry.”

GOOD NONFICTION BOOK QUERY

To: corey@bigbookspublishing.com

Subject: Query: Become a Better Parent in 30 Days

Dear Mr. Corey,

As a parent of six and a high school teacher for more than 20 years, I know first hand that being a parent is difficult work. Even harder is being a good parent. My proposed title, Taking Care of Yourself and Your Kids: A 30-day Program to Become a Better Parent While Still Living Your Life, would show how to handle real-life situations and still be a good parent.

This book has been years in the making, as it follows the outline I’ve used successfully in my summer seminars I give on the topic to thousands of parents every year. It really works, because past participants contact me constantly to let me know what a difference my classes have made in their lives.

In addition to marketing and selling Taking Care of Yourself and Your Kids at my summer seminars, I would also be able to sell it through my website and promote it through my weekly e-newsletter with over 25,000 subscribers. Of course, it would also make a very nice trade title that I think would sell well in bookstores and possibly retail outlets, such as Wal-Mart and Target.

Please contact me for a copy of my full book proposal today.

Thank you for your consideration.

Marilyn Parent

8647 Query St.

Norman OK 00000

mparent8647@email.com

www.marilynsbetterparents.com

Effective subject line. Lets me know exactly what to expect when I open the e-mail. Good lead. Six kids and teaches high school. I already trust her as an expert. Nice title that would fit well with others we currently offer. Her platform as a speaker definitely gets my attention. 25,000 e-mail subscribers? She must have a very good voice to gather that many readers. I was interested after the first paragraph, but every paragraph after made it impossible to not request her proposal.

BAD NONFICTION BOOK QUERY

To: info@bigbookspublishing.com

Subject: a question for you

I really liked this book by Mega Book Publishers called Build Better Trains in Your Own Backyard. It was a great book that covered all the basics of model train building. My father and I would read from it together and assemble all the pieces, and it was magical like Christmas all through the year. Why wouldn’t you want to publish such a book?

Well, here it is. I’ve already copyrighted the material for 2006 and can help you promote it if you want to send me on a worldwide book tour. As you can see from my attached digital photo, I’m not the prettiest person, but I am passionate.

There are at least 1,000 model train builders in the United States alone, and there might be even more than that. I haven’t done enough research yet, because I don’t know if this is an idea that appeals to you. If you give me maybe $500, I could do that research in a day and get back to you on it.

Anyway, this idea is a good one that brings back lots of memories for me.

Jacob

The subject line is so vague I almost deleted this e-mail as spam without even opening it. The reason we don’t publish such a book is easy—we don’t do hobby titles. I’m not going to open an attachment from an unknown sender via e-mail. Also, copyrighting your work years before pitching is the sign of an amateur. 1,000 possible buyers is a small market, and I’m not going to pay a writer to do research on a proposal. Not even a last name? Or contact information? At least I won’t feel guilty for not responding.

GOOD FICTION BOOK QUERY

Jeremy Mansfield, editor

Novels R Us Publishing

8787 Big Time Street

New York NY 00000

Dear Mr. Mansfield,

My 62,000-word novel, The Cat Walk, is a psychologically complex thriller in the same mold as James Patterson’s Alex Cross novels, but with a touch of the supernatural a la Stephenie Meyer.

Rebecca Frank is at the top of the modeling world, posing for magazines in exotic locales all over the world and living life to its fullest. Despite all her success, she feels something is missing in her life. Then she runs into Marcus Hunt, a wealthy bachelor with cold blue eyes and an ambiguous past.

Within 24 hours of meeting Marcus, Rebecca’s understanding of the world turns upside down, and she finds herself fighting for her life and the love of a man who may not have the ability to return her the favor.

Filled with demons, serial killers, trolls, maniacal clowns and more, The Cat Walk follows Rebecca through a gauntlet of trouble and turmoil, leading up to a final climactic realization that may lead to her own unraveling.

The Cat Walk should fit in well with your other titles, such as Bone Dead and Carry Me Home, though it is a unique story. Your website mentioned supernatural suspense as a current interest, so I hope this is a good match.

My short fiction has appeared in many mystery magazines, including a prize-winning story in The Mysterious Oregon Quarterly. This novel is the first in a series that I’m working on (already half-way through the second).

As stated in your guidelines, I’ve included the first 30 pages. Thank you for considering The Cat Walk.

Sincerely,

Merry Plentiful

54 Willow Road

East Lansing MI 00000

merry865423@email.com

Novel is correct length and has the suspense and supernatural elements we’re seeking. The quick summary sounds like something we would write on the back cover of our paperbacks. That’s a good thing, because it identifies the triggers that draw a response out of our readers. She mentions similar titles we’ve done and that she’s done research on our website. She’s not afraid to put in a little extra effort. At the moment, I’m not terribly concerned that this book could become a series, but it is something good to file away in the back of my mind for future use.

BAD FICTION BOOK QUERY

Jeremy Mansfield

Novels R Us Publishing

8787 Big Time Street

New York NY 00000

Dear Editor,

My novel has an amazing twist ending that could make it a worldwide phenomenon overnight while you are sleeping. It has spectacular special effects that will probably lead to a multi-million dollar movie deal that will also spawn action figures, lunch boxes, and several other crazy subsidiary rights. I mean, we’re talking big-time money here.

I’m not going to share the twist until I have a signed contract that authorizes me to a big bank account, because I don’t want to have my idea stolen and used to promote whatever new initiative “The Man” has in mind for media nowadays. Let it be known that you will be rewarded handsomely for taking a chance on me.

Did you know that George Lucas once took a chance on an actor named Harrison Ford by casting him as Han Solo in Star Wars? Look at how that panned out. Ford went on to become a big actor in the Indiana Jones series, The Fugitive, Blade Runner, and more. It’s obvious that you taking a risk on me could play out in the same dramatic way.

I realize that you’ve got to make money, and guess what? I want to make money too. So we’re on the same page, you and I. We both want to make money, and we’ll stop at nothing to do so.

If you want me to start work on this amazing novel with an incredible twist ending, just send a one-page contract agreeing to pay me a lot of money if we hit it big. No other obligations will apply. If it’s a bust, I won’t sue you for millions.

Sincerely,

Kenzel Pain

92 Bad Writer Road

Austin TX 00000

While I love to hear enthusiasm from a writer about his or her work, this kind of unchecked excitement is worrisome for an editor. I need to know the twist to make a decision on whether to accept the manuscript. Plus, I’m troubled by the paranoia and emphasis on making a lot of money. I’m confused. Does he think he’s Harrison Ford? So that’s the twist: He hasn’t even written the novel yet. There’s no way I’m going to offer a contract for a novel that hasn’t been written by someone with no experience or idea of how the publishing industry works.