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WITH A SLIGHT NOISE, Zan moved her head and opened her eyes. She stared up at the corner. Stripes of sunlight. Eggshell walls.
Where am I? Oooh, that hurts. The hospital.
She realigned her body and turned her head. Rainer stood to her right. His face lit up, but he seemed afraid to move.
“You’re safe.” Zan’s voice tumbled out of her. “Thank god, you’re safe. Thank god, thank god, thank god.”
“Zan.” He moved closer but stopped short of touching her. He smiled at her in his dazzling way. Zan’s every cell called for him. She imagined that her body would rise off the bed and press itself close to him of its own accord. She reached for him and he seized the hand of her good arm. He kissed it and held to his cheek, unable to speak. As soon as he touched her she felt a wave of calm, like a flower had opened within her to release a beautiful scent. She traced her fingers along his jawline.
I will never leave you again.
“You were right, Rainer. About me. About us.” She stopped for a moment to wipe the tears out of her eyes and consider her words. “When you turned yourself over to the demons for me, I knew I would do anything to save you, but it wasn’t because you have some kind of strange power over me. What I did came from the best part of me.” She returned her hand to his face with the wonder of a child. “I love you, Rainer. I still don’t understand it, but I do know one thing. My love for you made me better, stronger and braver.”
Rainer pressed her palm to his lips and closed his eyes. Trembling, he ran his hand along her forearm as tears leaked from beneath his lashes. When he opened his eyes again she saw a love so fierce it frightened her, but she could face it now. She would try to understand it because she had felt it herself.
“Can you, uh,” he stammered. He shrank away like he was trying to make himself smaller. “You forgive me? For what I did to you? For losing control?”
“Yes, honey. I sensed the violence and the hatred, but not for me. Only love for me.” She shifted in the bed and reached for his arm. “Maybe I needed some time to process it all. I didn’t feel selfishness. I felt joy.”
“You bring me more joy than I have ever known,” he said. He wiped the tears from his face, his eyes glowing with tenderness. “I want to hold you.”
“I want you to. Just be gentle.”
Taking care with her injured shoulder, he wrapped her up. He breathed her in. She felt his hot tears on her neck, his strong heart beating against hers.
“Zan, my love,” he said, as he pressed his forehead to hers. Tears spilled from his eyes onto her face, her lips. She opened her mouth and licked them, waiting for more.
“Kiss me,” she said. He put his mouth on hers, soft as mist, his hands on her back, holding her to him with gentle pressure. They spoke to each other in that way and did not stop.
When Zan crossed the threshold into Rainer’s sunny modern house, it felt like home. She put her bag on the massive kitchen table, then ran her hand along its surface.
Mmmmm, table-top sex.
“What has you smiling so mysteriously,” Rainer asked.
“I’m remembering the things we’ve done on this table.”
He chuckled and gazed at her with big, soft eyes.
“I’m so grateful and happy, my love. I don’t even know how to show you. I want to spin you in my arms, but I’m afraid I would hurt you.”
Zan pulled him into a tender kiss. “I will be in heaven if you just hold me while I sleep.”
Rainer smiled sweetly. Zan loved to make him smile. She imagined that his light could heal her. He gently picked her up. “Would you like to take a shower?”
“Yes. Wash that hospital off me.”
In the bathroom, he undressed as she watched. She sighed. It had been so long since she feasted on the sight of him naked. When he met her eyes his fabulous cock rose to greet her.
He turned on the shower and gingerly removed her clothes, careful not to jostle the half-cast that held her arm and shoulder immobilized. He led her into the stall and removed the shower head from its holder. Quickly, he soaped himself and rinsed.
The steaming, pulsing water scoured her limbs as he washed her, inch by inch, his fingers playing lather along her skin before the pure water came to clear it away. He held her tilted as he washed her hair, his fingers releasing tension from her head and neck with vigorous strokes. He placed a dollop of shampoo on his head and rubbed against her good arm like a cat. She giggled and worked it up, then took the shower head from him to rinse. She dropped the shower head, squeezed the water out, then spread his hair like golden threads between her fingers.
They kissed and lost track of the shower head, not noticing it shot water out the open door of the stall. Rainer laughed, turned off the water and led her out. He threw a towel on the puddle and wrapped another around her, patting her limbs.
When they had finished drying, he cradled her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He set her down on the bed and sat next to her. He took the hand of her good arm and pressed his lips to her wrist, his tongue tracing slow circles on the sensitive skin. His lips traveled up her arm to the velvety skin on the inside of her elbow, where he traced his soft circles once more. He stroked her breasts and brought his mouth to hers with the slightest of pressure.
For a long time, he softly kissed and licked her mouth, rubbing and sucking her lower lip, teasing her tongue lightly with his own. Her back arched as waves of sweet feeling shimmered through her.
He whispered a sound, something between a word and a breath. He ran his lips along her skin while breathing deeply as if he wanted her scent to awaken every memory he’d ever had of her. When Zan reached between his legs, he stopped her.
“Stay still,” he said. He lay down next to her, dancing his fingers lightly along her thighs.
“This is for you. I want to please you.” His voice soothed like an ocean tide, his eyes so bright with love that Zan stopped breathing for a moment. What she saw there made her feel outside of time. She stroked his face. He took her thumb in his mouth and gently sucked. Her juices gushed. Her body convulsed.
He can do that just by sucking on my thumb.
Rainer kissed her as lightly as spring rain and ran his fingers along the sides of her body. “It feels so good to have your hands on me,” she whispered. He pressed his face to hers, then licked and kissed her all over, her neck, her breasts, her belly, while his magic hands caressed her skin. He dipped his head between her legs to taste her there.
Zan put her hands on his head as his luscious mouth closed over her. He placed one enormous hand under her to lift her body to him like a chalice. He explored inside her with his tongue as he stroked her with his other hand, his fingers playing pianissimo. Zan’s legs clamped onto his head as her pelvis jerked forward. She felt like her perception was no longer centered in her eyes as if it had moved below, close to him. She grabbed the covers with her good hand, arched her back and moaned. Rainer murmured things she couldn’t understand. He applied his tongue with gentle pulses as she surged and rolled.
She became hyperaware. She felt the muscles between her legs rippling upward toward her heart and the hungry promise of that rippling. She imagined she was returning Rainer’s kiss with her body. She could feel his mouth speaking to her as the rippling imploded and her body began to vibrate, causing her injured shoulder to protest, the pain emphasizing the pleasure. A high note escaped her. She sang in release.
Oh, Rainer. Everything I am is yours.
When she had finished, Rainer deftly raised himself. He brought his mouth to hers in a deep, sloppy kiss, then rubbed his face against her cheek.
“You gave me everything, my love,” he whispered.
“I have more,” she said, pushing against his chest and guiding him onto his back. They laughed as she awkwardly maneuvered onto his stomach.
As she ran her hand over his hard chest, she savored the fact that once again he was hers, every perfect inch of him. The thought sent a wave of gratitude up her spine and she bent to her task. She moved off him and caressed his chest with her tongue. She licked his nipples, his abs, the sensitive skin just above his fabulous cock. Rainer tried to stop her. He put his hand on her good shoulder.
“My love, you should rest. This should be for you. Only for you.”
“This is for me, Rainer. You can’t imagine how much I want to please you right now.” She beamed at him. “I love you. I want to show you. Will you let me?”
He nodded, looking at her with those eyes, a kaleidoscope of blue that blazed with such happiness that it made Zan feel buoyant. She took his steel-smooth tip in her mouth, running her tongue along his contours in the way she knew he loved. Rainer growled as she sucked him. She put her good hand on his thigh to find the spot where she could feel his blood pumping. She brought him as far into her mouth as his size allowed, and then rapidly out, over and over, stroking hard with her tongue. She gripped and massaged his base.
Rainer grabbed her hair as he jerked forward and yelled in an explosion of pleasure. She held still and let him shower her belly, feeling his silky fluid with her fingers, streaking it across her lips.
With his eyes closed, he lay still, breathing hard. Then he gathered her up and cradled her against him.
“You were seeking me, my love, in a way you never have before,” he said.
“I’m not afraid. Well, less anyway.” She kissed him. They squeezed each other. A moment later Rainer was as hard as a flagpole. Zan snickered.
“You’re unbelievable.”
“My excitement could power a small city, I think,” Rainer said. Zan put her hand on his beautiful cock.
It’s mine. All mine.
“I want you to do it to me.”
“But Zan, your injuries.”
“Be gentle. I want to feel my mate inside me.”
“My mate,” he whispered. He hid his face in her hair. “I can’t forgive myself for what I did to you. My loss of control. Are you sure you want to do this?”
I want to wash away his guilt.
“I’m sure. Whatever Union is, it still terrifies me, but if I’m going to love you, I have to accept what you are. For you, it’s something wonderful. I felt that, even through my fear.”
Rainer put his lips to her temple. “I learned from that loss of control, my love,” he said. “It will not happen again.”
“I believe you.”
With a soft sound, Rainer touched his forehead to hers. He brushed her lips with his own and moved slowly above her. He slid one arm under her injured shoulder. With the other, he parted her legs, then slid into her with tantalizing slowness. She wanted to hold his eyes but had to close her own, overtaken by a rush of serene power.
Gently moaning, Zan put her arm across Rainer’s back and pulled him toward her. He pressed lightly against her, kissing her and moving inside her in big slow circles. She felt like she was being lifted by a series of strong waves. She couldn’t feel the bed. All she could feel was Rainer. He kept moving within her and she lost all sense of space. He rolled as she gathered him in. The waves kept coming. The tension grew and she pushed up until she could feel every bit of his length. Her climax was unlike any she’d felt before, like it was larger than her, beyond her.
When Rainer came with deep grrrrrr, she felt his fluid inside her, her surfaces as sensitive as fingertips. He kissed her again, soft as velvet. He moved to the side to fling his arm across her stomach and push his face against her arm.
“Mmmmm, Zan, my mate.”
“I love you, Rainer.”
“I love you, too.” They listened to each other’s bodies.
“What is that?” Zan asked after a while. “That force that flows through me? It’s like—god, I can’t even describe it. Like it’s a part of me I’m sending out into the world.”
“That is what we create. What we are. Isn’t it beautiful?”
“Yes, it is.”