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FRIDAY MORNING ARRIVED bright and cold. Zan and Rainer stood in the yard watching the sunlight glitter off the river. Zan wore the sienna robes of a Covalent scholar. Rainer wore the gray-green robes of a Warrior of the Rising. Zan was surprised at how warm she was, with no coat and her legs bare underneath.
“Pellus should be here any moment,” Rainer said. He had pasted a bland look on his face. Zan knew he was trying to stay serene for her sake, but he rubbed his forearm like he always did when he was nervous. He could barely stop himself from pacing.
“Honey, it will be all right.”
“I wish I could go with you.” He hugged her. “I don’t like the idea of you going ahead of me.”
“What Pellus said makes sense, Rainer. He can’t cloak us both at the same time, and you attract too much attention.”
He squeezed her again. “You already talk about these things as if they’re normal.” He kissed the side of her head just as Pellus walked out of the air right inside the gate. Zan gasped, even though she’d known that’s how he would appear.
“Was the rift far?” Rainer asked.
“A few blocks. Not a soul was around. I think I could have walked here without concealing myself. Hello, Zan.”
“Hello, Pellus, and thank you. I, uh, I— ” She stopped to get control of her shaky voice. “I know this is dangerous for you and I’m overwhelmed that you would do this for me.”
“I know I resisted,” he said, “but you are family, after all.”
“Guardian save me,” Rainer said softly. “What did I do to deserve such a friend?”
“All right, enough of this,” Pellus said. “Make me a nice cup of coffee while I tell Zan what to expect.”
They went into the house. Rainer made coffee while Pellus explained to Zan that it was impossible to tell exactly where they would emerge from the rift, but it should be within an earthly mile of the chambers of the Sylvan Three. Zan would be fine walking and breathing within Covalent City’s protective barrier, although she would tire easily due to slightly stronger gravity. He could not say how it would feel to be cloaked.
“It may feel nice, Zan,” Rainer said. “I always feel tingly.”
“Perhaps it will,” Pellus said, although he gave Rainer an odd look. “I must warn you that traveling through the rift is disconcerting. You will feel incorporeal. You will sense me in your mind in a limited way. I hope this does not frighten you.”
“That’s the least frightening thing about this.”
“Good.” He smiled. “I will be bonded with you,” he continued. “The rifts are hard to explain. We may not be near each other as we travel, at least not in the way you understand it. Our bond means that your movement will mirror mine.”
“How do you know this will work with a human?” Zan played with the folds of her robe, her eyes downcast.
“Humans are composed of the same elements as Covalent,” he said. “At any rate, if I do not feel the bond, you will not be drawn into the rift.”
“That’s reassuring,” Zan said. “But I’ll be disappointed. Sure, I want to be healed, but I also want to see the Covalent Realm.” Rainer came over with the coffee. They stood around the counter, adding cream and sipping.
“Can I ask you, Pellus,” Zan resumed, “how do you do it? How can you see the rifts?”
“Existence has a structure, Zan. I can see that structure. Look at the space between you and the wall. I call it space because to you, that is what it is, empty space. But not to me. I see chains of particles of differing properties, all connected. I connect to you, you connect to the wall. Your space, your world, is an intricate, beautiful lattice, alive with energy. The rifts are passages to streams of dark energy that contribute to the structure of the myriad dimensions, that run through it like veins. They open and close, affected by the normal movements of the cosmos.”
“You make existence sound like an organism.”
“For all we know it is. We do not pretend to understand it.”
Zan looked from Pellus to Rainer. “I’m glad. If you understood everything, I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I’d feel smaller than I do now.”
“Stop that, my love,” Rainer said. He rubbed her back. She leaned into him.
Maybe one day, honey.
“How did you create those barriers in the cemetery?” Zan brought her attention back to Pellus.
“I create electromagnetic waves to move the particles around me,” he answered. “I use my energy, my life force, to alter molecules. I cannot change them into something entirely new, but I can manipulate them in many ways. I never stop learning these ways.”
“So, can you shoot energy out of your fingers?”
Pellus laughed. “No, not like a human superhero, Zan. This energy emanates from me. You cannot see it, but it emanates from you too, from every human. Barakiel once told me humans have conceived of this. I believe you call it chi.”
“You’re right! I should’ve thought of that. Martial arts training teaches us that we can project our energy if our body, mind, and spirit are functioning in harmony. You hear stories about masters performing feats they shouldn’t have been able to do, at least not based on their physical stature. I never thought those stories were true.”
“You are a skeptic.” Pellus scowled at her, but with a twinkle in his eye.
“Yes. It usually pays.”
The adept laughed again. “I cannot say whether those stories are true, Zan, but I can project my energy.”
“But that barrier. How could you, uh, I don’t even know how to talk about things like this. How did you solidify your energy?”
“I didn’t. I solidified the air and whatever else is in it. I can alter the structures that I see. I bring some strings closer and push others apart. I bring the particles of air so close together that the air is no longer a gas, but a solid. The particles want to break apart, but I hold them. It takes a great deal of concentration and energy, but I have learned to do this.”
As Zan watched, his eyes changed focus. He was looking toward her, but she did not feel seen.
That is so creepy. Like he’s looking at ghosts.
In a few seconds, she felt cold enough to shiver.
“Feeling chilly?” Pellus asked.
“You did that to me?”
“Yes. In the area around you, I blocked the transfer of energy among particles that produce heat. Cold is simply the absence of heat.”
“Could you freeze someone on the spot?”
“I never have but I suppose I could.”
Zan forcefully exhaled. “Christ. I’m glad you’re on my side.”
Rainer chuckled. “Zan, you have no idea how often I have said that to myself.” They all grinned at one another.
“So, how do you learn?” Zan asked. “Are you just born that way?”
“Yes and no. You must be born with the aptitude, but to develop it takes long study, many human lifetimes.”
“And to become an adept takes ten times as long again,” Rainer added. He stroked Zan’s face. “Would you like more coffee, my love?”
“Yes, please.”
“Did you go to Traveler University, Pellus?” Zan asked with a wry smile.
“Yes, something like that,” Pellus said as he gestured for more coffee. Rainer filled his mug. He added cream and stirred. “For a little while. But most of what we learn comes from being an apprentice, and then simply from traveling ourselves. We test our limits.” He sipped, then set down his mug to stare at its contents. “Young travelers often make mistakes. Sometimes we never hear from them again. They may be still alive. Just lost.”
“That’s horrible. Can’t you help each other? It all sounds like physics. Can’t you describe safe paths for each other with really long inscrutable equations?”
“No, the Covalent do not use mathematical systems. We describe our experiences, orally and in written form. We impart to young travelers certain stable principles, but doing is the real teacher. Our understanding is intuitive. If a Covalent is not born with the aptitude to become a traveler, no amount of study and hard work would make that Covalent a traveler.”
“The way I was born a warrior,” Barakiel said.
“Doing is the real teacher,” Zan murmured, looking up at the ceiling. “Like being a musician?” she asked.
Pellus thought for a moment. “Yes, that is a good way to understand it. People can learn to read music, even commit the sequence of notes that comprise a symphony to memory, but that does not make them musicians. They must play. Even then, they could practice and practice forever, but without the aptitude they will never play like you. Somewhere deep inside, you are connected to the power of music. It lives within you and flows out of you. You may not understand it, but I hear it when you play.”
“I don’t understand it, but I can feel it.”
“Yes! It is the same for me, Zan. I don’t entirely understand the fabric of existence, but I can feel it.”
Well!” Zan said in a bright voice. “Thank you for indulging my curiosity. It helps.” She gulped her coffee then held her hand in front of her face. It was shaking. “Heh. It helps. I swear.”
Rainer put his hands on her shoulders. “Are you ready?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”
They went outside. The rift was not in the compound so she kissed Rainer goodbye. Pellus concealed them and they walked to the spot. He grasped her arm and she felt him—serene, cerebral and strong—but only at the edges, like peripheral vision. Like if she tried to feel him deeply, he would disappear.
“Remember, I am with you,” he whispered.
Then emptiness, black and racing. To the extent Zan could form coherent thoughts, she imagined she was filling a vast empty space with her memory and emotion, on and on, unspooling. She screamed but heard no sound. In the distance, she saw things that looked like neurons, but she knew she had conjured those images. Conjured the distance. She felt Pellus, heard an echo of his words, then emerged into an alien world. Fresh metallic air and stars blazing an inch from her face. She collapsed. She curled into a ball and crushed her eyes shut.
“We are here, Zan. We are fine. Please get up before you attract attention.”
She stood, careful to keep her eyes on the ground so the brilliance wouldn’t make her lose her equilibrium. Her limbs felt heavy. Pellus took her hand.
“Come along, now. It is not far.”
Zan gasped when she looked at Pellus. His dark skin was so velvety. His green eyes glowed from within. He smiled.
“We look better in our own realm, Zan. Wait until you see Barakiel. He is blinding.”
When she realized her mouth was hanging open she shut it with a snap, then looked up to see a band of furious blue on the horizon.
The Stream. Rainer told me about it.
The color was so vivid she had the notion she could hear it, then she laughed at the thought. She tipped her head back to take in the overwhelming canopy, then swung it back down.
“It is all right, Zan. You are cloaked. You can look. The Covalent often do.”
She walked along, her arms up, her fingers dancing in the mysterious air.
“I thought in Idaho, in the mountains, the stars were close, but here? So many, so thick and so bright. My god, the way they’re glittering, like they’re moving! So many colors. So much more complex than our sky.”
The musical tones of the Covalent language drew her attention. A group passed by in crisp celadon robes. All tall, as different from each other as humans, their skin various shades of brown that glowed like they were coated with stardust.
“Pellus, they’re so beautiful,” she whispered.
“They are quickeners. Artists,” he said when they were well past. “They are probably coming from a high terrace that offers a good view of the Turning.”
“The Turning! Can I see it?”
“I am sorry, Zan. We need to get to the chambers of the Sylvan Three where you will be safe.”
“Of course. Getting carried away.”
They walked in silence until they reached the chambers. From the outside, they looked like the palace of the Snow Queen, but when Zan passed the threshold she felt anything but cold. The room was like a womb, warm and pure. Water fell in thin sheets down the walls and bubbled from a central fountain, sweetening the air. The servant who showed them in gawked at Zan when Pellus dropped the cloak.
I must look liked a dried up piece of wood.
When the Sylvan Three emerged a few moments later, Zan fell onto the bench built into the wall behind her. She had thought Pellus and the quickeners were beautiful. The healers were exquisite, and so strange! Delicate and mighty at the same time.
Their eyes are freaking me out.
They smiled at her and spoke in unison in soft, harmonious tones. She smiled back as Pellus spoke to them. When she remembered she was sitting she shot up, embarrassed. They laughed. The sound gave her the urge to dance.
“The Sylvan Three are pleased to meet you Zan. You are beautiful and strong, as they knew you would be.”
Zan was dumbfounded. She stared. The Sylvan Three giggled.
I’m making an ass of myself.
“Um, please tell them I’m honored to meet them. Rai, uh, Barakiel told me about them. How powerful and important they are. How beautiful. But nothing could have prepared me for this.”
Pellus grinned and translated. The healers graciously bowed their heads.
“I am afraid I must leave to fetch Barakiel,” Pellus said. “The Three will begin the healing. I hope you are not too frightened, being left here.”
“I’m not frightened at all. They make me feel safe.”
“Of course, they do. You are safe here. The Three’s chambers are shrouded in their power. No one can enter unless they allow it.” He glanced at the Three. “They will take you into a healing chamber, remove your robes and touch you. They will touch you all over. They need to learn. Are you all right with this?”
“Yes. It’s fine.”
“They may not succeed in healing you.”
“I know, Pellus. Whatever the risk, it’s already worth it, to see Rainer’s home.”
“You are as foolhardy as your mate.” He surprised her by kissing her on the cheek. He grabbed the hand of a healer briefly, then left. The Sylvan Three led Zan into a sparkling inner chamber. In the corner, a rectangle of glowing orange light hovered parallel to the floor. The healers led her to stand next to it. They disrobed her and ran their hands over her body, prodding and poking and kneading. Zan hung her head back and spread her arms and legs. Their touch was delicious, like dewdrops rubbed on her with a flower petal. She thought she should be embarrassed, but she wasn’t. Her body tingled. Waves of warmth played through her muscles.
The healers gently pushed her onto the glowing orange bed, so soft and warm. One went around to the head of the bed. She rubbed Zan’s temples. All three began to hum, such a lovely sound. Zan drifted off.
Floating. Mmmmmmm. So warm and relaxed. Mmmmmmm. I can’t feel anything. Where am I? Stretching. No pain. Oooh, it feels so good to stretch. I feel so strong. Where am I?
Zan opened her eyes to find the Sylvan Three gazing down on her. Their luminous silver eyes were no longer disconcerting. Now, they were stillness, a place to which she’d always return. She smiled until her cheeks hurt. They smiled back and spoke in their musical way. They ran their hands over her abdomen and her shoulder, over the spot of her recent bullet wound, and the old bullet wounds on her legs. Zan followed their hands. She saw that her scars were gone. Her brain sizzled. She wanted to jump up and thrash around. She wanted to run a hundred miles.
The Sylvan Three pulled her upright. They chirped with laughter as they threw a gauzy silver dress over her head.
I must look a little wild-eyed.
The healers took her hand and led her to the door. Zan stopped dead as soon as she passed through. Rainer filled the chamber, a sight more beautiful than his world’s astounding firmament. Wonderful memories skittered through her mind. Running with sparklers in her hands through the fragrant summer air, listening to thunder roll in over the Sawtooths, the gold-brown eyes of a mountain lion she’d once seen on the trail, pure wild and free. And here was Rainer, all that and more, his radiant blue eyes the doorways to happiness.
No wonder we thought they were angels.
Lust sparked and burned through her body.
I can touch him. He’s mine. Is it true? How can that be true?
“Rainer, why do I feel this way?” She glanced at the Sylvan Three. They were grinning, their eyes filled with mischief. Pellus was there too, gaping at her.
“The Sylvan Three have healed you!” Rainer said, his voice the clearest note she ever heard. “Your nerve damage is gone. You are as if you had never been shot. All your impurities have been cleansed away.”
“Honey, you, you’re so—” She panted. She wanted to crawl all over him.
“The Three found abnormal cell growth in one of your ovaries. Cancer, Zan! I think you had cancer. We didn’t know. They saved you!” He took a step toward her. “You are as pure as a newborn. As strong as a woman.”
Zan snapped out of her paralysis and jumped into his arms, madly kissing his face. The musical laughter of the Three and the deeper tones of Pellus played around them. The Three said something to Rainer and he carried her to a chamber tucked into a corner down a hall.
Once they were inside, he put one enormous hand on the back of her head and kissed her like he wanted to swallow her. Then he set her down, smoothing her hair and caressing her neck as they stared into each other’s eyes. Zan trembled.
Rainer walked over to a translucent sphere that glimmered in the dim light of the room. “This is a power orb,” he said. “They are used to store energy. This particular type of orb can also be used to enhance sexual experiences. The Three told us to use it. To fill it. We’ll give them enough power to heal a hundred warriors.”
“We don’t have to leave right away?”
“We are safe here.”
“Thank god. If I had to wait for you to touch me I think I would spontaneously combust.” She laughed. “I should be embarrassed, the way I acted out there, but I’m not.”
“You are becoming Covalent-like. We are never embarrassed by lust.” He put his hand on her chest and pushed her to the orb. He peeled off her dress. “Lean back, into the orb,” he said. “It will mold itself to your body.”
Zan did as he said. The glowing sphere cradled her, clasped her. It tickled her flesh. The hair on her limbs stood on end. Rainer ran his eyes over her naked form. He softly kissed her. When he put his hands on the orb Zan’s body convulsed as the sphere turned rich ruby red.
“Mmmmmm, what is that? I’ve never felt anything like it.”
“That is me, lusting for you.” He kissed her again, deeper and deeper, leaning his body against the orb as the strange power coursed through Zan’s body.
“My love, look at me.”
She tried to settle enough to meet his gaze. Laughter bubbled out of her.
“I want to watch your face,” Rainer said. He drummed his hand on her flesh, moved it downward. He kissed her again then snaked his hand between her legs. He pushed them apart. The orb adjusted it shape and mounded between them. She could feel surges like the notes of a xylophone racing up her spine. Rainer stroked her. She squirmed within the orb.
As he deftly massaged her with one hand, he teased her nipples with the other or ran his fingers lightly along her cheek and lips. He leaned close as her soft sounds of pleasure grew urgent.
With one more stroke of his artful fingers, an orgasmic wave overtook her that engaged every nerve in her body, explosive and filled with love. Love like a substance. Love like a force. Like the furious blue that pounded and rushed outside on the horizon.
“Love me, Rainer, love me.”
He threw off his robes, plucked her out of the orb and sank into it himself. She stood in front of him, her body quivering, her skin flushed. The orb changed color as it formed itself to Rainer’s sublime body. Still red, but many shades, bending and rippling. Such deep colors, like a vast space was hidden within them. His fabulous cock stood beckoning. She climbed onto him and lowered herself, slowly, taking him in, feeling his flesh like delicious fire.
When she started to move, Rainer growled, his eyes fluttering, his head rolling. Zan laughed hysterically. She couldn’t stop. She had never seen him lose himself in sensation like this.
This is the most fun I have ever had in my life.
Zan moved faster, pumping her hips along his length, squeezing him with her body, whipping her hair around. He was so thick she stroked herself by stroking him. She felt it building, the mad power.
Rainer’s eyes snapped open, such a burning blue that Zan stilled, locked into his gaze. He moved his hips, slowly at first, then with fast, forceful thrusts.
As her bubbling laughter mixed with high tones of pleasure, Zan dug her nails into Rainer’s shoulders, her lower legs cradled by the orb. As Rainer’s hips pumped, his arms held the orb. His hands were splayed on its surface, which crackled and zapped, streaks like diamonds now dashing through the red. The static transformed into a throb, faster and faster with incredible resonance. The vibration consumed Zan, consumed the chamber. Soon, Rainer’s cries joined the music of the orb, equal in pitch, equal in beauty, swirling all around her. She felt a hitch between her legs and the implosions began. Over and over, she was coming, but she knew it was only a prelude.
“Ah, so hard, so fast, so good, honey, so good, aaaaaah—”
Pellus burst into the room. “Stop!” he shouted. “Get out of the orb! Immediately!”
Zan and Rainer stopped thrusting their sweat-covered bodies. Rainer rested his huge hands on the curve of Zan’s hips. He leaned up and glared at the adept.
“Do you mind?”
“I am sorry, Zan.” Pellus held his hands up, palms out. “But you must get out of the orb, now. Your coupling has overloaded it. The orb is about to tilt into imbalance and explode. It will kill us all.”
Rainer’s eyes widened and his jaw went slack. He pressed Zan to his body and rose. He turned so Zan could stand behind him, then faced Pellus again.
“Thank the Guardians you could see it, Pellus. I have never heard of such a thing.”
“No one has ever heard of such thing.”
They stood dumbfounded. The orb ceased its humming as its lustrous red faded. Zan peered around Rainer’s arm at Pellus.
“Well, turns out you were right all along,” she said. “Rainer and I are a hazard.”
Rainer laughed, rich and throaty. Zan joined him, her body shaking. The adept shook his head, but she could tell he was trying not to smile.
“Thank you, Pellus,” Rainer said, “for saving us from the power of our love. Now get out.”
As soon as the door was shut, Rainer pushed Zan against the wall, pinning her head with a penetrating kiss as he ground against her hips and stroked her skin. He murmured against her neck. “Mmmmmm, my love, are you ready for me still? I want to feel you, I—”
Rainer gasped as Zan seized him and guided him to her. He surged back into her with a growl and resumed his pumping, his face still pressed against her neck. She wrapped her legs around him and squeezed.
“We need a better orb,” Rainer said before his voice slid into a moan.
“Oh, yeah. Better orb, uhn, better—”
They laughed again, their chests heaving as their bodies slapped together until they both came with shouts and fell still, exhausted and sated.
As Zan waited in Rainer’s yard for Pellus to bring her warrior home, she ran sprints back and forth along the bare trees just for the joy of it. Before long they walked out of the air, Rainer beaming to rival the fiery sun. He and Pellus had a brief conversation in their own language that turned their faces dark. She’d seen expressions like it before. They were discussing war. Rainer would tell her about it if she asked him, but she wanted to hold onto the magic.
When Pellus turned and disappeared with a wave, Zan launched herself at Rainer. He caught her, kissed her on the nose, then carried her over the threshold. He stood inside the door with her in his arms, looking around with a beatific smile.
“Aren’t you going to put me down?” she asked.
“I’m very happy to see you here, so glowing and healthy, in our home.” He set her on her feet.
“Me, too.”
“Is it?” His smile gone, Rainer searched her face.
“Is it what?”
“Our home?”
“Yes.”
“Are you my home?”
Can I be? Am I enough?
“Yes. I’m your home.”
“I want you to know, I realize what I’ve cost you.”
“Rainer.” She took his hands. “What you cost me was temporary. What you’ve given me is immeasurable.”
He brought her hands to his lips. “But what about marriage, children, a normal life?”
“I don’t think I’m cut from that cloth. I never wanted children. I suppose if it were possible you could have persuaded me because you and I would have such awesome kids. I mean, can you imagine?”
“Yes,” Rainer whispered. The look on his face made her heart hurt.
“What about what I’ve cost you?” she asked.
“You haven’t cost me anything.”
“Yes, I have. Sure, you can have a child long after I’m gone—”
“Don’t talk like that!”
Zan cupped his face. “It’s reality, honey. The Sylvan Three may have given us more years than we thought possible, but human is human.” He closed his eyes and kissed her palm.
“I’m not talking about my mortality, anyway,” Zan went on. “I’m talking about Union. As long as you’re with me, you can’t pursue it. You’ll always be fighting your nature.” She dropped her hands and her voice cracked. “Are you, um, does it leave you dissatisfied?”
“No, my love.” He put his arms around her waist. “Please don’t ever think it. Loving you makes me feel more powerful than anything else. The serene, endless power of joy. To hold back, this is how I am good to you. An expression of my love, my strength, my discipline. It makes me proud of myself. Your gift to me.”
He kissed her, gentle and wet. “Do you know what else will make me proud?”
“What?” Zan pressed against his chest as he tightened his arms around her.
“To protect you. You will never be safe as long as Lucifer is alive.”
“Neither will you.”
“Neither will I.” His eyes grew hard and vicious. Zan found it both frightening and sexy.
“Don’t do anything crazy, Rainer. You’ll never get to him.”
“No. Not alone. Pellus and I have been gathering allies. Other Covalent who think we should go on the offensive. Do you remember I told you about Osmadiel?” Zan nodded.
“She is a high commander, like a general. Her support increases our chances of success. Four battalion commanders are with us as well. We are working to persuade more.”
He grabbed Zan by the shoulders so hard it hurt. His face was stony, but she saw a request. They had to be of the same mind.
“Do you—” Zan squeezed her eyes shut. “Do think you can do it? On his home ground?”
“Yes. We will bring the war to his Keep. I will kill him.”
Zan admired his clarity of purpose, even though she knew it could take him from her. “I will support you and help you in any way I can.”
His hands still on her shoulders, Rainer leaned down until his eyes were level with hers.
“I may die in battle.”
“I fell in love with a warrior.”
“So did I.”
Rainer kissed her, then slipped his hand under his gray-green robes. “I had these made while you were in the healing sleep. I thought that at least I could follow this earthly custom.”
His hand emerged with two rings, bands of bluish metal that gleamed dully, like platinum.
“These rings are made from the same alloy as my sword. I engraved them myself.” He tilted his head. “Our names are written on each one along with the inscription, ‘A shared life is the strongest bond.’” He brought his hand up with the rings in the center.
“I want to give myself to you, Zan. Will you accept me? Will you share my life?”
She brought her hands to her mouth to cover her soft exclamation. Then she framed his hand with her own. “Yes, of course, Rainer.”
“Will you give yourself to me in return?”
“Yes.”
He placed the ring on her finger. She took the other and placed it on his.
“I love you,” he said. “I will never leave you. I will do anything for you. Do you understand?”
Zan ran her fingertips over the ring, over the engraved symbols that expressed their love. Symbols she couldn’t read.
“Right now, it’s too big for me to understand, Rainer. But one day I will. I’m sure of it.”
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