One year later
Tiger rolls over onto his back, his tongue lolling out as he basks in the late afternoon sunshine. I stretch my legs out in the sun and take a sip of iced tea.
‘Katy? Are you back there?’ Joanna calls from the house. She appears in the patio doors clutching two takeaway coffees.
‘Got you a coffee anyway,’ she says, eyeing the iced tea. She sits on the patio furniture next to me as Tiger bounds up to her. ‘Well, hello there, lovely,’ she says, tickling him under the nose. ‘He was a good companion for all these years.’
I shrug, smiling at Tiger. ‘How’s Stella? And Juniper? She’s settling in well?’
‘Stella’s good. I was going to bring her, but wasn’t sure if that was such a good idea.’
‘You could bring her, I don’t mind.’ Though I’m not sure that’s true.
‘June’s good as well. She’s getting used to not having the run of the place. A proper little diva, that cat.’
I smile. ‘Yeah, she ran rings around Mum and me.’
She’s quiet for a moment before saying, ‘How are you?’
‘You know.’
‘Yeah.’
‘We can talk about her, if you want?’
I shake my head.
‘We can talk about anything,’ she says.
I turn to her. ‘Sorry, Jo, I got used to talking to no one.’
She smiles. ‘Well, we can just sit then.’
I drum the table with my fingers. ‘What is it you want to say, Jo? I still remember you, you know, you want to say something.’
She rolls her eyes and sighs. ‘You changed the world, Katy,’ she says. ‘I guess I just wanted to say thank you for making the world better for Stella.’
I shake my head. ‘I did nothing, it was all her.’
‘Will you go to the trials?’ she asks. ‘I heard even more women have come forward, seems to be happening every day.’
‘I won’t go—’ My phone rings, interrupting us. I don’t recognise the number, but that’s how things are now.
‘Yes,’ I say, answering.
‘Katy?’
‘Yes.’
‘Hi, Katy, this is Maggie from Hush Media. I just wanted to get in touch as—’
I hang up.
‘Who was that?’ Joanna asks.
‘Someone irrelevant,’ I say.
I finish my iced tea and grab the coffee.
‘Have you spoken to your dad?’ she asks.
I shake my head. ‘He isn’t my dad.’
‘No, I guess he isn’t.’
She’s quiet for a moment before she says, ‘What will you do now?’
I think about her question before answering.
‘I’m going to visit my grandma, stick around to spend some time with her. After that, we’ll leave. I’m not sure where we’ll go.’
‘You have your life back.’
I smile. ‘I don’t think I can get that back, but there’s nothing left for me here.’
‘I’ll miss you all over again,’ she says.
I turn to her, my hair brushing against my shoulder, the last of the brown dye on the tips. ‘I’m sorry I’m not what you expected.’
She looks shocked. ‘What makes you say that?’
‘I’m not what a lot of people expected.’
‘As long as you’re happy,’ she says.
‘I think that’s it; I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again.’ I smile reassuringly at her. ‘But I will be okay, as will you.’ I pause. ‘Anyway, I better get packing, there are people coming to view this place tomorrow.’
‘I can’t believe you’re selling it.’
I glance back at the bungalow. ‘Too many memories,’ I say.
‘Memories don’t have to be bad.’
‘Maybe,’ I whisper. ‘Is that all that you came here to say?’
She shrugs. ‘Maybe I’m not what you expected, either, not the person you thought I’d turn out to be.’
‘You’re happy?’ I ask.
She nods slowly. ‘Yes, I am.’
‘Then does it matter?’
She shakes her head and takes a sip of her coffee. ‘What will you do now? You’ve been hanging out with that detective?’
‘You can’t do that, you know. We’re not twenty anymore, we can’t chat about things like that.’
‘It’s not about being twenty, Katy, it’s about being friends.’
Maybe we’re not that, either, I think. I’m not used to talking about how I feel. I try and remember if I ever was, but I the truth is, I don’t see Joanna as my friend anymore.
‘You’re so much like her,’ she says, suddenly. ‘She was sad, too.’
My jaw tenses.
‘But it always came out as anger.’
‘Like I said, I’m not what you expected, not who I used to be.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—’
I wave my hand. ‘Forget it. Anyway, I’ll see you out, I’ve got to get going.’
We both walk together through the bungalow and out to the front. I grasp the black railing next to the ‘For Sale’ sign and gaze up at the sky, just as the sun melts into an orange smoke.
‘You be okay?’ Joanna asks, getting into her car.
‘Yeah,’ I say, as Tiger joins me.
‘Don’t be a stranger,’ she calls.
‘I won’t.’
‘You could always write it down, you know? Turn it into a book. You were always such a talented writer.’ I nod dismissively. ‘It might help,’ she continues. She holds up a hand in a wave and gets in the car.
She pulls away just as Detective Lane turns down the street on foot. Tiger barks as he approaches, eager to greet him.
‘Sorry I’m late,’ he says as he jogs the rest of the way.
‘You’re not.’
‘I stopped to get some flowers for your grandma,’ he says, waving the bouquet of lilies at me.
‘I can see that.’
‘Are you ready?’
‘I just have to lock up, I’ll be out in a minute.’
‘Take your time,’ he says.
I wander back into the house, but Tiger stays with Harrison. He’s taken to him though he’s always been so wary of men.
I want to be alone, though, without the reminder of what happened. Tiger doesn’t mean to serve as that, it isn’t his fault, and it’s been difficult for us both to adjust.
I close the door behind me. The house is empty apart from a few pieces of chunky furniture that haven’t been collected yet. I stand in the hallway looking into the lounge, staring at the sofa and chair, seeing Mum curled up under a crochet blanket, her tongue between her teeth as she fiddles with the remote.
‘Just to be me and you for a moment,’ I say, ‘I’m sorry I’m leaving again.’ I try to smile. ‘But you saved me, Mum, you saved all of us.’
She doesn’t reply, but I don’t expect her to.
I grab the keys and look back at the house one last time before closing the door.