It was very cloudy next morning, which made a welcome change. The dawn sky was an angry red.
Bella saw the bright streaks of fire as she came back from delivering supplements to the cows and calves and she wondered if it was too soon to hope for rain.
She’d never been sure about the old saying – red sky at morning, sailor take warning – but she could certainly feel a change in the air. It seemed fitting, she thought, in line with all the other changes that were taking place at Mullinjim. Her father was home, her aunt was leaving and Zoe was having a baby . . .
I’m the only one standing still, uncertain and stupidly waiting. For what? A phone call from Gabe? A biblical sign? A bolt of lightning?
‘Did Luke get away okay?’ her mother asked as she arrived at the kitchen door.
‘Left about an hour ago. He’s certainly conscientious about this new job, isn’t he?’
Her mother nodded, but she seemed a bit distracted. ‘Have you seen your father?’
‘No. Has he gone out?’
‘He took off for a walk with Gus some time back.’
‘I haven’t seen him. I was expecting him to sleep in after last night.’
‘You know your dad. He’s always been an early riser. And I think last night’s dinner only made him more determined to get on with things. After his last turn, he started going for morning walks and they seemed to do him the world of good.’
Bella shrugged. ‘As long as he takes it easy.’
‘I’m holding breakfast. He should be back soon.’
‘What’s cooking?’ Bella crossed the kitchen and peered at the stove. ‘I know I shouldn’t be hungry after last night’s dinner.’
‘It’s just tomatoes and mushrooms.’ Her mother lifted the lid on the frying pan, releasing a tummy-tempting aroma as she gave its contents a stir. ‘Last night was lovely, wasn’t it? Zoe’s such a good cook and it was wonderful to have the whole family together.’
‘Fabulous. I’m so proud of you, Mum, the way you’ve welcomed Zoe.’
Her mother stared at her with evident surprise and went a little pink. ‘Thank you, darling. I always liked Zoe before I – I knew – and it all happened before I met Pete, so I couldn’t really hold a grudge.’
‘But you might have if you weren’t so nice.’ Bella smiled at her, but then she couldn’t help glancing quickly at the phone, hoping to see a message light. There wasn’t one, of course. ‘Pity Liz has to go back so soon.’
‘If I were Liz I’d be thinking about retirement.’ Her mother shot a guilty look over her shoulder as if she was worried she’d been overheard.
Bella pouted. ‘How can you retire from something you love?’
‘That’s a very good question, Bella. How can you?’
Bella snatched her gaze away. If anyone was going to put pressure on her to stay at Mullinjim, it would be her mum. ‘Can I set the table or something?’
‘Perhaps you could go and chase up your father. Tell him breakfast’s ready and waiting.’
‘Right.’ She was relieved to be outside again, away from that all-knowing, maternal gaze.
On the front steps she stood, shading her eyes, looking out over the paddocks and down the track that led to the creek, searching for any sign of her dad or his dog. Perhaps he’d gone to visit Striker?
That made sense.
A gust of wind sent her hair flying as she set off for the stables. It was the first wind she’d felt in ages and a minute or two later it rattled the flimsy open door on the old ripple-iron shed that served as their stables.
This was where Sassy had once been housed, but it was best not to think about her.
Bella fancied she heard the phone ringing back at the house and her first thought, as always, was Gabe.
Damn it, she was such a fool.
Giving herself a mental shake, she went to the stable door and called, ‘You in there, Dad?’
There was no answer, but she heard Gus’s soft whine.
She went cold all over.
Gus was with her dad, surely?
Suddenly trembling with the worst kind of premonition, Bella forced her legs to move her forward, around bales of warm-scented hay stacked high to the roof, until she came into the centre of the shed.
She saw her dad, sitting on the floor next to Striker’s stall. His back was against the wall and his hat had fallen off. It was lying upside down on the straw-strewn concrete beside him. His head was slumped a little to one side. Gus lay with his blue speckled head in her father’s lap.
Icy dread filled Bella.
Her father looked so peaceful, looked for all the world as if he’d fallen asleep.
But the awful colour of his face told a very different story.
Terrified and sick, Bella forced her leaden feet to continue moving across the concrete floor. She tried to tell herself he was resting, having a little shut-eye, as he liked to call it.
‘Dad?’
He didn’t answer.
Panic strafed through her. White-hot and devastating. ‘Dad!’ she called again as she rushed to his side.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Please, no! This can’t happen.
Horrified and trembling, she knelt before her father. Gus lifted his head and looked up at her with pleading eyes. He gave another soft whine.
‘Dad?’ Bella said a third time.
He didn’t appear to be breathing and her mind swirled. What should she do? This couldn’t happen. It simply couldn’t. If only she could think straight.
She could hardly see through her tears as she reached for his wrist to try for a pulse.
Dear God.
His skin was cold.
Liz, wearing a deep blue silk kimono over her nightdress, stood at the sink, stirring a mug of tea and anticipating the simple pleasure of taking the first hot sip.
‘I do prefer to eat my toast while it’s hot,’ Virginia muttered as she spread butter onto the warm slices that popped from the toaster.
‘Why don’t we start brekkie without them?’ Liz suggested, her mug poised at her lips.
In that same moment she glanced through the window and saw Bella flying up the track from the stables. Saw her white and stricken face.
Oh, dear Lord! ‘Virginia!’ Liz dumped her mug on the draining board. ‘Something’s happened.’
‘What do you mean?’
Liz didn’t answer, but as she hurried to the back door, Virginia was close behind her.
By now Bella was already at the bottom of the steps.
‘Where’s Peter?’ Virginia demanded, pushing roughly past Liz.
‘In the stables.’ Bella seemed to crumple before them and the message in her eyes was almost too horrifying to take in.
Aghast, Liz followed Virginia down the stairs.
Bella was sobbing now, shaking her head and struggling to speak all at once. ‘Sh-should w-we ring the Flying Doctor?’
‘Let me see him first.’
Already, Virginia was ahead of them, grim-faced and determined, hurrying with long strides, then running over the grass. Liz and Bella exchanged one agonised look and raced after her, Liz hobbling over the brittle, stubbly grass in flimsy satin slippers.
At the doorway to the stables Liz and Bella stopped, almost as if they’d silently agreed to allow Virginia a moment alone with her husband.
Liz retied the belt on her kimono, squeezed her eyes tightly shut to hold back tears. Her oldest memories were of her brother. To her, it seemed Peter had always been there, just ahead of her, paving the way through life, slow to accuse, quick to lend a hand.
He’d even been ready to shoulder the heavy burden of her darkest secret.
Don’t leave me, Pete. I’ll have no one.
Her brother was too young to die. He had to be okay. He had to be.
They moved forward again. Rounding a stack of hay bales, Liz saw Virginia kneeling at Peter’s side, holding his big hand in both of hers, folding his fingers around hers, then cradling his hand against her chest.
‘Mum?’ Bella rushed to her.
But Liz couldn’t follow. She’d seen the deathly pallor of Peter’s skin and her knees gave way. She stumbled, a loud sob bursting from her.
She mustn’t lose it – not in front of Virginia and Bella – but she was shaking and crying as she staggered the final few metres.
‘Should we try CPR?’ Bella was asking.
Virginia seemed incredibly calm as she shook her head. She’d been through this twice already, so perhaps she was prepared.
‘Are you sure?’ Bella urged.
Virginia rubbed her husband’s hand between her own, as if somehow she could warm it. ‘Yes, darling, I’m sure.’
‘But it’s too soon!’ Aghast, Liz fell to her knees. ‘Surely we must do something?’
Virginia’s face was a picture of pain and yet, amazingly, she managed not to cry. ‘He’s gone.’
‘Nooooo!’ Bella wailed.
Virginia shook her head. ‘There are no signs. And – and he’s cold.’ She pressed her lips tightly together, holding back a cry. Her eyes were stricken. ‘The doctors warned us,’ she said, her voice breaking on a sob. ‘But Peter wanted to come home. And he would have hated to wake up in hospital again.’
Bella crouched beside her mother, slipped a shaking arm around her shoulders, and their heads pressed close, the long, tawny waves against the faded silver-blonde.
An unbearable ache filled Liz’s throat.
‘It’s not fair,’ Bella whimpered.
‘No, it’s not!’ said Virginia. Her fingers trembled as she touched her husband’s cheek. Tears glittered in her eyes. ‘Oh, Pete!’ Her mouth was pulled out of shape as her tears streamed down her cheeks. ‘I wasn’t there for you, Pete. Did you call for me? Oh, Pete, oh, my darling, how can I bear this?’